Lark
A/N: A gift for MuggleBeene as part of the Teachers' Lounge Holiday Gift Tree.
"Prompt: It's the Auror Department Christmas party and white elephant exchange. Ron's pleased with his white elephant gift exchange purchase but won't tell anyone what it is."
A post-Deathly Hallows Ron and Harry friendship comedic story. Canon compliant. Rated T. One-shot. Everything belongs to JKR.
Ron's an old hat around the department these days, and Ron knows how things normally run. So to say he's surprised when the department Christmas party invitation comes and it isn't a catered lunch with a Christmas card for each Auror would be mildly inaccurate.
"I don't understand why they have to mess with things like this!" Ron groans to Harry over lunch while out on assignment; Ron has spent the majority of the day complaining about the change in the Christmas party, much to Harry's irritation. "No one wants to come to work on a Sunday evening, especially without our spouses! We have to do it too frequently as it is! And bringing a stupid gift for an exchange? Bloody hell can we all pretend we're in some shitty American teenage film as well?"
"I'll give you the spouse part," Harry nods, for what is probably the millionth time. "But I don't see we have much choice. The invitation was pretty clear that attendance is mandatory unless our case requires our attention or some family emergency comes up. And Robards is not the type to make things mandatory unless he means it. We'll just have to humor him."
Ron shakes his head as they head back out. "What are you bringing as a gift?"
"No clue," Harry shrugs, "Ginny's offered to pick something up for me when she's out, and I took her up on it. So I'll bring whatever she chooses. It really doesn't matter to me what I bring, and I doubt anyone will bring anything worth having anyway."
Ron sighs as they duck behind a building to apparate. "Well, I'm going to have to figure something out. Hermione's busy enough as it is."
Harry grins at him, "Just bring the lot of your mum's sweaters from the last few years."
"I'd like to keep living if it's all the same to you." Ron chuckles as he turns to apparate to their next stop.
Ron walks into the large meeting room the Auror Department reserved for the Christmas party and glares at the small table with a pitiful number of cookies and a few pitchers of water. He spots Harry and heads his way, carefully holding a small package in his hands.
"So what did Ginny pick up for you to give?" Ron asks as he sits down next to Harry.
"A muggle tea sampler," Harry holds up a gift that he obviously was told he had to wrap himself based on the quality of the job. "What did you decide on?"
"Oh, I'm not telling, it's a surprise, but it's the best damn gift here, I guarantee it!" Ron's smirk is familiar but there's something a touch devious in his eye, and Harry can't quite place it.
"It's nothing that will make the next few months a nightmare for us, will it?" Harry really wants to see as many of Ginny's games as he can, and having Robards pissed at them is a guarantee that he'll miss most of them.
Ron laughs, a genuinely happy laugh, "Don't worry, Harry. This is only going to be a good thing!"
The party is bearable, the cookies running out within the first fifteen minutes and no one bothers with the water after that. One or two Aurors stop to ask Ron and Harry what their gifts are, and while Harry happily obliges them, Ron is adamant that his gift is a surprise. After a half hour of pleasantries, Robards turns the time over to Emma, their department administrative assistant.
"Alright, it's time for the gift exchange! We're going to play a passing game: I'll read a story and whenever I say left or right you'll pass the gift you're holding to the person on your left or right respectively. When the story is over we'll each take a turn to open our gift and show everyone what we got. Let's have some fun!"
Emma begins reading a rather odd story about a young witch who traveled around London to buy all her Christmas presents. Ron watched his gift like a hawk as it moved around the room. When the story finished, he happily saw that his gift had landed with one of the trainees, Samantha Rowley.
"Samantha needs to go last!" Ron calls out excitedly. "She has the gift I brought and I need it to be the last gift opened tonight. It has a bit of a Christmas surprise for everyone in it."
Robards eyes him suspiciously for a moment before he shrugs and nods. "It's your neck, Weasley."
Everyone takes a turn to open their new gifts. Ron ends up with a gardening trowel, but he's too excited for Samantha to open her gift to care. Finally after what feels like an eternity everyone but Samantha has opened their gifts; Samantha looks at Ron as he nods her on and she starts to open her gift. The box is small, colored a brilliant purple and tied shut with thick gold ribbon.
As the ribbon falls away the box rises into the air and the lid comes off, the lights in the room are drawn into the box. Then a beautiful light display comes shooting out of it, a cross between fireworks and moving muggle Christmas lights, but instead of the boom normally associated with fireworks Christmas carols play.
Everyone sits in awe, captivated by the beautiful display. As it comes to an end, the room lights leave the box, returning to their light fixtures, and the box gently descends down to Samantha's lap, unfolding flat to reveal a bar of Honeyduke's chocolate.
The department sits in stunned silence until Robards slowly starts clapping. Then the entire department is clapping and everyone wants to tell Ron how amazing it was. And Ron is all too happy to accept their praise. Harry is equally impressed, but when Ron mentions that he had George help him with the gift, he's on high alert for the prank that has to follow. But nothing comes. The party ends with everyone in good spirits, except for Harry, who is trying very hard to see the prank before it hits.
Ron watches his best friend and takes pity on him, offering to go for a drink before returning home, Harry's treat, which Harry cautiously accepts. When their drinks arrive Harry turns on Ron.
"Alright, Ron, that was definitely impressive, but where's the prank? George never lets good magic go without getting a laugh out of it."
Ron's grin is boyish, and the glint in his eye mischievous. "Oh there was a prank alright, but it didn't involve the Aurors at all."
Harry's not going to let this slide, he stares down Ron, who seems to be enjoying it he's so smug with himself. "Aside from George, I'm the only one you can tell. You know Hermione will just put a damper on it all. If you go home with that smug look on your face she'll know something is up and drill you."
The glint in Ron's eye flickers for just a moment before he laughs. "Alright, that's a good argument." Ron takes a long swig from his bottle before he starts. "Shortly after the invites went out, I happened to find out why our Christmas party was reduced to a dozen cookies and a gift exchange. Percy felt that the departments were spending too much on celebrating Christmas every year and so he weaseled himself into the decision group and convinced them all that a few galleons were all everyone needed for Christmas parties, and that's all everyone got."
"So Percy is who got pranked? But how? That box just gave us all a pretty fantastic show and Samantha got a chocolate bar." Then Harry has a small moment of panic. "It is just chocolate, right? Samantha's not going to be madly in love with Percy tomorrow morning is she?"
Ron shoves Harry, "Of course not you bloody twat! Some best friend you are! I swore off anything to do with love potions when one led to me almost dying."
Harry tries to hide his smile behind his bottle. "Sorry mate. What's the prank then?"
Ron's smile gets smugger and he leans against the bar. "Percy received a package today, a small box wrapped in plain brown paper and string. It was charmed to be ignored, so when he got it he simply set it aside. That box was linked to the gift I brought tonight. When Samantha opened it and the magic activated, the box in Percy's office also opened. Percy's office is now charmed so only he can enter it. The floor of his office is currently a swamp, much like the swamp George and Fred created our fifth year when they left to start the store. Oh, and his name placard currently reads 'Tightwad'." Ron's grin is victorious as he takes a drink from his bottle.
Harry starts to laugh, and it progressively increases until he's struggling to stay on his stool. "Only he can enter his office! He has to clean it up on his own! He can't assign it to some intern! You're geniuses!"
Ron smiles fondly at Harry. Maybe telling Harry he's going to move over to the shop full time won't be as hard as he initially thought.