Disclaimer: don't own Transformers.
Summary: Crack. Outtake of "Fire in the Sky." Skyfire has something to show (and something to gloat about). Watch out for crack-induced OOC.
Acknowledgements: kirinsaga's bunny over on LJ.
Outtake
Sparkplug and Spike weren't in the best of situations. They came along on yet another stop-the-Decepticons plot, got trapped on a floating chunk of ice, and were captured by the Decepticon-of-the-week…again.
So, all in all, they weren't having a good day.
The only thing they had going for them was that this current Decepticon-of-the-week was apparently more misguided rather than malevolent.
In contrast, Skyfire was in rather high spirits. Yes, he still felt confused about the situation with the evil Autobots, and he was saddened that the tiny organic natives were so scared of him. But still…to wake up to a planet full of life where there used to be nothing but ice and rock…It was a nice surprise to wake up to.
Plus…now Starscream so owed him a large cube of high-grade.
"Billions, you say?" he asked, trying to make his voice as even and soothing as possible.
"Uh, yeah…" the bigger human stammered, pushing the smaller human behind him and away from Skyfire's curious gaze. It was a good thing for Skyfire that he was too excited about this revelation, or else his feelings would have been hurt.
"And that is only of your species?"
"Yeah."
"Fascinating…"
Starscream saw what Skyfire was bringing over.
"Good work, Skyfire," the Decepticon sneered as the two Autobot pets scowled at him from where they were trapped. "Now we can—"
"Look, Starscream!" Skyfire said excitedly, running up to him and all but shoving the two humans into the SIC's face. He didn't notice how they clung to his fingers for dear life. "You always thought I was crazy for believing organic life existed! Well, LOOK AROUND YOU! WHOSE CRAZY NOW, HUH?!"
There was a very long pause. All three beings looked at Skyfire, eyes and optics very wide.
Skyfire straightened, and returned the hand with the humans near his spark casing. "I mean," he said, in a more reasonable sound level. "These are the natives of this planet. I rescued them from a floating chunk of ice. I believe they may need our assistance."
Starscream, after another pause, decided to do what he always used to do when Skyfire did stuff like that…and he ignored what just happened.
"Ahem. As I was saying, good work, Skyfire. Give me the humans."
"But…but…" Skyfire said, backing away a little.
"Look, Skyfire," Starscream said tiredly. "I've been on this planet longer than you have—"
"No you haven't."
"I've been conscious on this planet for longer than you have. I'll know what to do with them."
Reluctantly, like a child handing over a favourite toy, he gently transferred the humans into Starscream's hands, not noticing their still-dazed state.
"What are you going to do with them?" he felt compelled to ask.
"Oh, you know," Starscream said airily. "Get them dried up, invite them for tea…" he turned away from Skyfire, and then muttered, "Use them in one of our clichéd but useful use-humans-as-hostages plans against the Autobots, which never really works but does great for dramatic tension…"
"What was that last thing?"
"Invite them for tea?"
"Oh. I like tea."