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By: Melissa C.
Rated: PG 13 Chapter 1:
Mrs. Hernandez's voice was drowned out by my own deep thoughts. I was in my own world- - I was Morgan in Wonderland
'Why should we leave in a world of rules? So we end up breaking them any ways. People should go out and do whatever the f**k they want to do. We're not put in this world to live with a paper in our face telling you what to do or what not to do. I live on my own life rules..'
"Morgan!" "Morgan!" I felt a tap on my back. I opened my eyes looking down on my black and red knee-high socks with my black high top converse. I stood up pulling back my long black hair with red highlights and saw my teacher "Morgan this is the 3rd time you've done this! See me after class I would like to have a word with you" she said she sounded pretty angry. "Well, Morgan seen you were looking at the disk all this time I'm not going to repeat my-self so get it from some else" She said "Well, Ms. Brisk I see that you are failing my class too. Well, you know what that means don't you" she said. "Yes I do Mrs. Lee," I said still looking down. She turned away and I gave her a serious death look. I hate Mrs. Lee my science teacher the meanest of all teachers. She hates me I know she does.
My name is Morgan Brisk. I'm a weirdo, a freak as some people call me. I try to ignore them. I'm not that social. I don't go to party's that much. I only have one friend Alice. I guess that's why I call her my best friend. I met Alice in Language Art class in 6th grade; she came up to me and said, "Do you want to be my friend?" I thought she was pathetic. I felt sorry for her and I became her friend.
The rest of the day went classic. Walking down the hallways people making a cross sign with they're fingers. Like always.
After school I went to Mrs. Lee's class. I knocked on the door you know to be respectful. "Come in" she said. I walked closer "you want to see me Mrs. Lee" I said. "Yes Morgan I wanted to speak about your grades in my class and the laziness you are showing" she said "I'm sorry Mrs. Lee, I'm going through hard times in my life right now" I said looking down "Aren't we all Morgan, you have to focus on school Morgan that's how your going to get through life" "I know I'm sorry I'll try to do better," "I hope, you're dismissed,"
I walked to the big tree in the back of the school that's where Alice and I meet after school. "Hey Alice" I said sounding angry "Hey why the long face, you look like Jon Bon Jovi died or something," "HAHA very funny no I just got in trouble with Mrs. Lee again" "AGAIN! Dude what did you do this time fall asleep in her class" she said still laughing. "Um. Sort of, lets go" has I started to walk. She followed behind.
We walk together we're neighbors. As usual Alice took out her CD player and started listening to Korn her favorite band of all times. I don't like them that much but they have some good songs. I also took my CD player out to listen to Bon Jovi my favorite band. We're different she likes modern music and I love classic rock basically anything in the 80's and some heavy metal.
"Bye Morgan" "Bye Alice"
Oh no I'm entering hell once again. I don't hate my family they're just a bit to annoying.
"Hey Morgan how was school?" my mom said. "Same as always" I said. "Ok wash up for dinner" she said. "No problem" I walked to my room. My room is the one with the big Bon Jovi poster on the door.
My room, this is where I live. I can't wait until I put on my new shirt and my new skirt. My shirt says "I have lots of friends you just can't see them" and my skirt is this black skirt that's sort of ripped at the bottom, it comes up to my knee. People think I'm a freak because I dress differently I'm not into labels you know the whole rocker, rapper, prep.. ect. I hate that I think its another way of being racist. But people still call me a head bangger or a rocker or a punk. you know the rest. I like the style and the music. But me being anti-social that's just who I am. Guys like me but "the others" they seem to tell them not to ask me out. I hate that.
I took out this hand made cloth doll I made in 6th grade out of my drawer. It was a girl named Emily. She had one button has an eye (the other one fell off), and she had a black long dress. I was sort of gothic in 6th grade I had no friends. When I mean gothic I mean a mind of a Goth I didn't worship the devil. I still loved God. I stop having that evil mind when I meet Alice. But some times I miss that old me and go back being a Goth just for a day or two.
I like talking to Emily when I have no one to talk to.
"Today was a great day I got in trouble with Mrs. Lee again" "Why does she hate me I know she's probably is racist against "rocker's" or something but I know she always picks at me" I stared at her for a minute or two. "Why aren't you talking to me? Why did I make you?" I said half screaming I stayed there looking at her. I don't know why but tears streamed thru my eyes mixing with my black eyeliner. I though why couldn't I be normal why? I looked at Emily and said "You good for nothing doll I hate you I hate you. You have brought me nothing but sorrow. Every time I pick you up. Every time. Nothing good comes out of you. Stupid f***ing doll. I HATE YOU!" I threw Emily on the floor as hard as I could. Looking down at her. I thought to my-self she's a doll. I kept thinking about being normal. Is there such thing about being normal? But why do I have to be the freak? It has to be me. The "punk" the rebel. That's why I didn't have any friends all my life. My mom argues with me because I'm anti-social. I picked up Emily looked at her for a little while and put her under my star covered pillow. Suddenly I stop crying. I went to my bathroom to wash the eyeliner from my face. I looked in the mirror and saw my-self as a normal person not another freak but me, me the person I am.
I went and sat on my bed just thinking about nothing.
I herd a loud knock on the door, it was my mom "Morgan dinner is ready". "Ok mom I'll be down soon" I said.
I walked down stairs. Wee!! My dad is here. "Hey dad" I said. "Hey Morgan".
After dinner I have to do homework. School can die so can Mrs. Lee!
After homework I lade down on my bed thinking about this guy I've liked seen 5th grade. Considering that I'm in 7th grade that's a pretty long time to like a guy. His name is Edward but everyone calls him Eddy. His hair is super cool it was straight and its dirty blond, it use to be long but now he cut his hair so he spikes it. In 6th grade in the cafeteria I use to sit in the table in front of where he sat and with a lollipop (I loved lollipop back then a lot) I did my lollipop show hehe.
This is weird I usually put on music after I finish my homework. I really didn't feel like getting up so I got my CD player from my book bag and my CD's from the night table and started listening to music. I was thinking about the house and how many kids I was going to have with Eddy. I know I'm a bit too obsessed. But he's cute, ok he's not, he's ugly but he's super cool I'm not a shallow person. I closed my eyes just to relax. Still thinking about what I've been thru in my life. I can't believe I'm still alive because in 6th grade I use to try to suicide me-self. If you lifted up my arm warmer I have some marks. I took out Emily from under my pillow. And hugged her.
Chapter 2: I woke up listening to "sweet child o mine" I most of left it on last night. I took a small peak at my punk hello kitty alarm clock I got for my birthday.
Holy Crap! Its 8:30 I'm going to be late for school. I took a bath, put my red and black fishnets, black converse, my shirt, and my skirt and had just enough time to put on my make-up. I got my stuff and left the house at about 8:45. I ran to school as fast as I could. But this lady screamed at me saying "its people like you that mess up this country, and stop exposing this to innocence child!" while holding her kids close to her side by side. I slowed down. Inside I wanted to scream at her a say "Look I've been thru stuff that neither you nor your parents I don't think your kids would go thru ever in your life. So f**k off!" But just to be polite I said "Mrs. I have done nothing to you nor your kids nor try to mess up the country this is the way I am and I'm going to stay like this sorry ma'am". I ran some more and got to school at 8:55 perfect timing.
I was running to my class when I accidentally bumped into this girl I guess she as new because I've never seen her around. "Oh I'm sorry," she said picking up her books "No it's all my fault I was running I'm sorry" I said picking up my books "Can you show me where Mrs. Hernandez class is? Please" she said "Oh you have Mrs. Hernandez for homeroom so do I, you can follow me" I said being polite.
She looked cool. She was wearing black and white socks, black converse, a Led Zeppelin shirt, and black baggy Capri.
"Your new here right?" I said. "Yes" she said "My name is Morgan," I said "My name is Blair," I said
Putting my hand to give her a polite handshake, but she stood on her toes and inspected my hand as if it was diseased. I stared, but kept my hand out. Finally after her inspection she gave me a handshake.
I walked into class usually the "rappers" and the "preps" were looking at Blair and I with a disgusted face. I don't care any more. I ignore them. "Your new here I suppose" Mrs. Hernandez said "Yes I am" Blair said "Ok you my take a sit Blair" she said
She sat next to me in the back. This "rapper" had the nerve and asked, "Are you a punk?" how stupid. I spoke for her and said, "That's none of your business David!" Blair stared and him and gave him a death look. He got scared and looked away. WOW! This girl is go; I'm starting to like her a lot. "Thanks Morgan" she said "Its ok I'm use to this. Ghetto people always ask that stupid question," I said "Are you the only Punk in this school," she said "No they're a few punks here," she said "Cool. Do you know any?" she said "Yeah my best friends Alice she's a punk. That's the only person I know I'm not that social. Sorry" said "That's ok I'm not that social my-self. I just came from Miami. I didn't have any friends," she said "Well you have a friends now" I said winking at her. "Ok.. Your funny" she said laughing "Thanks that's what Alice says," I said. "Cool."
Mrs. Hernandez gave Blair her schedule and we had all our class together except for 3rd period I had creative writing (newspaper) and she had journalism (yearbook). When the bell rung Blair and me walked to 1st period together and I showed her around the place a little. As we walked down the hallways people stared at us.
When we got to 4th period Blair sat with me. In the back of the class. I sit in the back of the class because it looks at if I have control over it. It's also very relaxing. In lunch we started talking about our favorite bands (Bon Jovi for me, Metallica for her). The day went on like always.
Chapter 3
"Why not?" I said screaming at my mom I wanted to get my tongue pierced. It was a random idea I had. "Its nasty. Do you know what that would feel when some one is kissing you" she said.
That's what there meanly for. I herd guys like it when you kiss them with a metal ball in your mouth. I rolled my eyes and walked to my room and locked my-self in like always. I have to get a tongue piercing. I have to. This is a reason why I think we should do whatever the f*** we want. It's my body I can do whatever I want to do with it. I looked up at the ceiling while lying on my bed.
I love my room its covered with posters of all my favorite bands most of them are Bon Jovi poster. My bed sheets have stars and moons. I love to look up at the sky at night and just looking for a shooting star. I live in the clouds I'm always thinking.
That same night I woke up. I turned to look at my clock and it said it was 2:19. So I got up and walking down stairs it looked like it was a haunted house and went outside and sat on the steps of my porch. Looking at the stars. Tears came out of my eyes. I felt alone in the world. No one cares for me I mean Alice is my friend but I'm not use to telling my secret or telling her what I feel or my thoughts. I need someone to guide me throw life I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think I'll never get married or have any kids. No one will like me, no one will sit next to me when I'm sad or crying hug me and say, "everything is going to be ok".
After an hour of crying I went back up stairs and to my room. I fell asleep.
YES, it's a Saturday I don't have school. I went into my walk-in closet and took out my cloth. I want to dress gothic today. I took out black fishnets, Mary Jane boots, mid-evil black shirt, and a black skirt. I went to take a bath.
After putting my cloth on. I went to my make up box. I put on some black eyeliner, dark purple and blue eye shadow, and I put a dark purple lipstick. I want to get a tongue piecing!
I walked out of my room and saw my mom. "Hey mom" I said. She looked at me and inspected me for a while. What's with people and inspecting me do I have a sign on my head that says, "Inspect me". After the inspection my mom looked at me and said, "Why do you wear this? Why can't you wear what normal girls wear?" she said. I looked at her and said "I'm not going to wear really tight jean with really tight shirts so guys could stare at your boobs and a** sorry mom". I looked away I think my mom was still inspecting me.
I walked outside to see some kids play. I stopped to look at them. They were all happy and laughing. I smiled and kept walking. Think about my old friend Bianca she was my old friend from 2nd grade. After 3rd she moved at lease that's what her mom told me. But she really died because her mom had been drinking and drove the car right in to a tree. I miss her A LOT! I still think of her. Her mom is a b***h how could she do that. I told you that have been through stuff that a girl my age shouldn't have been through. I HATE MY LIFE!
I walked out side to meet Alice in GG (a subway station) to go to rarely seen. It's a store that has all rocker gear. As I walked out side I saw Blair walking out of her house. "Hey Blair" I said. She looked at me and said, "where did you get those cloths?" she said. I said, "You really want to know?" I said. "Yes yes I want to know". "Follow Me," I said. We walked and talked about sh*t. I told her how I liked her cloth a lot. She wore a nirvana shirt and some guy pants with black converse.
When we got to GG. Alice was they're waiting for me. "Hey Morgan, Hey Blair" she said. I looked at her and said, "Can Blair come". "DUH!" she said rolling her eyes. When the train came we walked in slowly because we saw a whole bunch of rappers and preps going in and that's really bad. We could get "jumped" has the rappers call it. She sat down and started talking. This girl kept staring at me as if I was a weirdo or a freak. Oh wait I am. Well, it's very impolite to stare at people. Once again the inspection and after inspecting me she gave me a bad look.
She came up to me and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you got on the wrong train". I turned to look at her and said "how so?" She came closer to me and said, "The freak train is in the other planet". I turned away and said " are you sure its me your talking about". She looked at me and said, " I hate people like you go away and die or something". I looked at her and said " I have not done a thing to you I don't know why you came up to me and said those things you have said" I turned away and keep talking to Alice and Blair. She rolled her eyes and looked away.
Now do you see why I want to kill my-self? GA! I can't stand them they hate us. They want the entire "rocker", "punks", and "Goth" people to die. AH!
When we got to Manhattan we had to walk about 2 blocks to get to the village. Blair kept asking me "are we there yet?". When we got to the store I felt like I belong everyone was the same as me. I went around the store looking at sh*t and I bought a poster of Led Zeppelin, spiked collar in black. I also bought a pair of baggy black pants, with a shirt that said, "you say psycho like it's a bad thing". Alice bought a poster of blink 182 and Korn, a psycho bunny patch that said, "you smell like butt", she also bought a long black and red dress, with some fishnets and boots. Blair didn't buy anything she said she want to save her money for this thing.
Well, we walked back from the store getting ready to get on the train we saw Blair's mom we talked a little while then took Blair to shop in this other store. So Alice and me walked to the train and this guy come up to Alice to give her a kiss on the cheek. He was about 14 or 15 years old. He was ghetto but GOD! he liked cute. And I would never say that about a ghetto person. He had curly hair, and he had a tan color. A lot darker then my skin color (my skin color is lighter then tan but I'm not white).
"Sup Alice?" he said in a ghetto/Spanish accent. "Nothing can you please not talk ghetto it's really annoying," she said looking away. "Why you got to be frontin'?" he said trying to get Alice's attention. "Stop! Oh sorry Morgan I forgot. Morgan meet Eric my cousin, Eric meet Morgan my best friend," she said. "Hello Eric" I said putting my hand out to give him a polite handshake. "Sup Morgan?" he sounded high when he said that and gave me a handshake. "Nothing I guess you?" I said. "Nothing just chillin" he said. I looked at Alice to see what she would say and she had her hand over her face looking the other way pretending that she didn't know Eric. "Well, I have to go Eric" Alice said pulling my arm. "No I'm going with you guys my friends had to dipped so I'm all alone in the world all cold inside. So I'm going with you people," when he said I looked at him with a weird face. "NO!" she said half screaming. I looked at her and said, "Let him come with us". She rolled her eyes and said, "Fine he can come, lets go"
When we got on the train Alice was trying to sit, as far away from Eric has possible. I don't know why Alice doesn't like Eric he seems nice to me. But I felt special he sat next to me. I don't know how but why started talking. He said he liked the way I dressed I thought that was a really nice thing to say. He started telling me jokes GOD! He's funny. He said I had a pretty laugh and I also thought that was sweet. This guy knows what to say to girls.
When we got of the train Eric said, "well, homies I have to jet but I'll see you around. Bye Morgan" he said giving me a wink. I felt like milting. "Oh and bye Alice" he said still looking at me. He left and I was still looking him. Then Alice slaps me across the head. "What the hell was that!!!" she said screaming. "SHH! What are you talking about" I said rubbing my head. "That I'll see you around Morgan" she said mocking Eric. "Well, what I think he intended to say bye" I said. "No it wasn't and all that flirting you were doing on the train" she said all mad. I was surprised when she said "flirting" I have never flirted in my life. "What are you talking about flirting? I was not flirting you've gone mad" I said walking away. "You were flirting you were giggling a lot" she said trying to catch up to me. What? Giggling? Flirting? What is she talking about? I was not giggling I have never giggled in my whole life. "I was not". "Yes you were". "Ok ok forget it".
"Bye Alice" "Bye Morgan"
Chapter 4
We both lifted to our houses. I still can't believe that I giggled, I didn't recall giggling. I went straight to my room and locked my-self in like always. I went to my walk in closet and under all my pile of dirty cloth I took out my stereo and placed it on my night table next to me. I put on my Evanescence's CD and put number 11 "whisper". It was about 7:30 pm.
The next day I woke up listening to Evanescence "my immortal" I guess I let it run about 3 times. I did nothing that day just prance around my house in my PJ's and watch TV and eat and listen to music fun right!
Today is Monday that means there's school NO! I got dress like always some baggy pants, an over sized Beatles shirt and my black converse. I didn't bother wearing any make-up just black eyeliner and some lip-gloss. I went to school with Alice like always. As we walked she was telling me that Eddie was going to move to Miami. I didn't believe her for some reason but then when we got to school he was there sobbing like crazy. Oh my god I can't believe it he's really going.
That same day in lunch I sat with him. Oh my god! I had the guts to sit with him. "Hey Eddie" I said with a sad face. "Hello and you are?" he asked. "Um.I'm Morgan from Science I'm the one that sits in the back," I said. "Oh Morgan hey so what do you want?" he said. Well that's nice to say, "I heard your moving to Miami," I said. "So." He said. "I came over to say Good-bye," I said looking down. "Thanks" He looked at me and raped his arms around me to give me a hug. My face expression was complete shack. Oh my god he gave me hug. A second later I rapped my arms around him.
After he gave me that long, beautiful hug we started talking. TALKING! OH MY GOD! My wishes are coming true! We talked about stuff you know music, clothe, bands, and our life. He's super cool that's why I like him. When the bell rung to get to our 5 period we also walked together and talked. He invited me to this club today since he lives tomorrow. I said sure and gave him my address to pick me up. I can't wait to go. I asked him if it was a date and he said nothing. I asked for his phone number just incase something happens.
When I got home I asked my mom if I could go a club with Eddie. She said "fine but take this cell phone and call me every hour and come back at 12 ok?" I can't argue with that and said "ok". I went to my room and called Eddie.
"Hello my I speak to Eddie," I said "Yeah this is Eddie" "Oh hey Eddie its me Morgan" I said "Oh how are you doing Morgan?" he said "I'm fine I was wondering if you can tell me what time you'll pick me up?" I said "7:30" "Oh and I was wondering what type of club this is?" I said. "This is a punk/Goth club but a thing you should dress like a Goth." He said. "Ok well, I have to go I have to get ready," I said. "Why that long its 5?" he said. "If you don't know girls we take a pretty long time to get ready" I said "Whatever bye" he said "Bye"
Went to the bathroom and took a shower. I always put on my stereo and listen to music while I take a shower. I after I was done I went to my room and got dressed. I put on a tight mid-evil black-laced shirt, black leather mine skirt, buckled Mary Jane boots and fishnet. I went to my make-up drawer and looked in the mirror. I was thinking about what make-up I should put on. I looked up and down and founded my black eye shadow I put some on. I didn't feel like putting on lipstick so I just put on some lip-gloss. I got up and went to my door mirror and looked at myself then some how Eric comes to mind. Why? How? Out of all people Eric came to mind. I don't know but a giggled. I thought of that joke he told me on Saturday. Why? I'm a thinking of him when I'm gong out with Eddie.
I looked at my clock it was 7:15. I got my bag and went down stairs. "Hey Morgan" my mom said looking at me then walking away. "Hello mom" I said. "So when are you leaving?" she said. "In 10 min" I said. "Don't forget what I told you earlier" she said. "Don't worry" is said. "Bye mom" I said giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Bye Morgan"
I went outside and sat on the porch steps the sun was setting. Then out of nowhere a see a black BMW with the roof down pulling up in front of my house. I could see it was Eddie because of his dirty blond and the driver looked like an older boy, maybe nineteen or twenty. I got up and walked up to the car. He jumped out of the car without using the car door. He was wearing baggy black zipper pants with a black semi tight shirt, he had black eyeliner all around his eye, I thought he liked really hot. When he saw me he's eyes glowed. "Hello Morgan" he said stuttering. "Hello Eddie" I said. "You look really nice this evening," he said. "Thank you" I said. "Lets go" stuttering even more. We walked up to the car and he put out his hand as to help as to help me into the car. "Thank you Sir" I replied, and helped myself into the car. "The pleasure is all my Ma'am," he said. "Hello their Morgan," said the driver. "Hello nice car" I said. "Thank you I'll be your driver for today" he said. I let out a laugh.
"So Morgan how are you?" Eddie said. "I'm fine thank you and you? I said. "I'm great can't wait to get there oh and guess who's going to play?" he said "Um. I don't know strawberry switchblade," I said "Nope kittie" he said "Oh my god really!" I said half screaming. "Yeah"
Chapter 5
I took out my CD player and started listening to kittie. I had those separated earphones. He pulled out one from my ear and listened with me. We listened to "Mouth full of poison" by the time the song was finished the car pulled over. We were at the club. He jumped out of car and let out his hand to help me out. I got off and fixed my skirt. The club was under ground in a basement. Eddie put he's hand around my hip as we walked, when he did I felt like melting. We walked down stair I could hear the song "paper doll" by kittie. When we got to the actual club it was fled with black and dark purple candles. I think we were the only teens there. The club was fled with punks and Goth. I looked over the crowd and saw Morgan from Kittie she is my favorite singer in Kittie. I looked for a minute until Eddie tapped my shoulder and said, "Lets go find a sit".
We found a table in the back. "Here you are madam," he said pulling out the chair. "Thank you very much," I said. When he was getting ready to sit down some guy came up to Eddie and said "Hey Ed haven't seen you around lately" he said giving "Ed" a hand shake and he look hot. "Hey Frank I've been very busy lately besides I've been getting ready to leave to Miami" he said. "Yes I know hope you come to visit soon will all miss you very much," he said giving Eddie a manly huge. Then he looked at me and said "Well, excuse my effrontery Ms. but you look dazzling tonight and your name?". "My name is Morgan delight to make your acquaintance," I said giving my hand out for a handshake. "The pleasure is the entirely my" he said giving me a kiss on my hand. "Well, I must leave, it was pleasant chatting in the company of you Morgan I look forward to see you later on" he said. "Expect seeing you as well Frank. It was extremely pleasant chatting amongst you," I said. "Delighted" he said giving me another kiss on my hand. "Bye Eddie, Bye Morgan" He said walking away.
"Well, he seems polite" I said. "He's a ladies man," Eddie said. "So Morgan what do you think so far" he said. "About what the club?" I said. He nodded his head. "Yes I love it everyone seems nice" I said looking around.
"Mouth full of poison" started playing and I let out a gasp. Eddie starting laughing so did I. "Lets go up there" he said getting up from his chair. "Ok" I said. We both got up and went to where Kittie was performing. We went about second row and banged our heads slowly to the beat. After the song was finish Kittie had to leave and some other band came up. Went back to our table and sat down. We started talking about school and how we never notice each (I have always notice him). Then this other guy came up, I believe it was another one of Eddies friends. "Hello Eddie what's up?" he said. "Nothing much you?" Eddie said. "Nothing much and who is this young lady?" he said. "Brisk, Morgan Brisk delight to meet you" I said giving my hand out for handshake. "Well, Morgan nice to meet you, my name is Chris" he said giving me a kiss on the hand. What's with these people and giving a kiss on the hand? "Pleasure to meet you Chris" I said.
By: Melissa C.
Rated: PG 13 Chapter 1:
Mrs. Hernandez's voice was drowned out by my own deep thoughts. I was in my own world- - I was Morgan in Wonderland
'Why should we leave in a world of rules? So we end up breaking them any ways. People should go out and do whatever the f**k they want to do. We're not put in this world to live with a paper in our face telling you what to do or what not to do. I live on my own life rules..'
"Morgan!" "Morgan!" I felt a tap on my back. I opened my eyes looking down on my black and red knee-high socks with my black high top converse. I stood up pulling back my long black hair with red highlights and saw my teacher "Morgan this is the 3rd time you've done this! See me after class I would like to have a word with you" she said she sounded pretty angry. "Well, Morgan seen you were looking at the disk all this time I'm not going to repeat my-self so get it from some else" She said "Well, Ms. Brisk I see that you are failing my class too. Well, you know what that means don't you" she said. "Yes I do Mrs. Lee," I said still looking down. She turned away and I gave her a serious death look. I hate Mrs. Lee my science teacher the meanest of all teachers. She hates me I know she does.
My name is Morgan Brisk. I'm a weirdo, a freak as some people call me. I try to ignore them. I'm not that social. I don't go to party's that much. I only have one friend Alice. I guess that's why I call her my best friend. I met Alice in Language Art class in 6th grade; she came up to me and said, "Do you want to be my friend?" I thought she was pathetic. I felt sorry for her and I became her friend.
The rest of the day went classic. Walking down the hallways people making a cross sign with they're fingers. Like always.
After school I went to Mrs. Lee's class. I knocked on the door you know to be respectful. "Come in" she said. I walked closer "you want to see me Mrs. Lee" I said. "Yes Morgan I wanted to speak about your grades in my class and the laziness you are showing" she said "I'm sorry Mrs. Lee, I'm going through hard times in my life right now" I said looking down "Aren't we all Morgan, you have to focus on school Morgan that's how your going to get through life" "I know I'm sorry I'll try to do better," "I hope, you're dismissed,"
I walked to the big tree in the back of the school that's where Alice and I meet after school. "Hey Alice" I said sounding angry "Hey why the long face, you look like Jon Bon Jovi died or something," "HAHA very funny no I just got in trouble with Mrs. Lee again" "AGAIN! Dude what did you do this time fall asleep in her class" she said still laughing. "Um. Sort of, lets go" has I started to walk. She followed behind.
We walk together we're neighbors. As usual Alice took out her CD player and started listening to Korn her favorite band of all times. I don't like them that much but they have some good songs. I also took my CD player out to listen to Bon Jovi my favorite band. We're different she likes modern music and I love classic rock basically anything in the 80's and some heavy metal.
"Bye Morgan" "Bye Alice"
Oh no I'm entering hell once again. I don't hate my family they're just a bit to annoying.
"Hey Morgan how was school?" my mom said. "Same as always" I said. "Ok wash up for dinner" she said. "No problem" I walked to my room. My room is the one with the big Bon Jovi poster on the door.
My room, this is where I live. I can't wait until I put on my new shirt and my new skirt. My shirt says "I have lots of friends you just can't see them" and my skirt is this black skirt that's sort of ripped at the bottom, it comes up to my knee. People think I'm a freak because I dress differently I'm not into labels you know the whole rocker, rapper, prep.. ect. I hate that I think its another way of being racist. But people still call me a head bangger or a rocker or a punk. you know the rest. I like the style and the music. But me being anti-social that's just who I am. Guys like me but "the others" they seem to tell them not to ask me out. I hate that.
I took out this hand made cloth doll I made in 6th grade out of my drawer. It was a girl named Emily. She had one button has an eye (the other one fell off), and she had a black long dress. I was sort of gothic in 6th grade I had no friends. When I mean gothic I mean a mind of a Goth I didn't worship the devil. I still loved God. I stop having that evil mind when I meet Alice. But some times I miss that old me and go back being a Goth just for a day or two.
I like talking to Emily when I have no one to talk to.
"Today was a great day I got in trouble with Mrs. Lee again" "Why does she hate me I know she's probably is racist against "rocker's" or something but I know she always picks at me" I stared at her for a minute or two. "Why aren't you talking to me? Why did I make you?" I said half screaming I stayed there looking at her. I don't know why but tears streamed thru my eyes mixing with my black eyeliner. I though why couldn't I be normal why? I looked at Emily and said "You good for nothing doll I hate you I hate you. You have brought me nothing but sorrow. Every time I pick you up. Every time. Nothing good comes out of you. Stupid f***ing doll. I HATE YOU!" I threw Emily on the floor as hard as I could. Looking down at her. I thought to my-self she's a doll. I kept thinking about being normal. Is there such thing about being normal? But why do I have to be the freak? It has to be me. The "punk" the rebel. That's why I didn't have any friends all my life. My mom argues with me because I'm anti-social. I picked up Emily looked at her for a little while and put her under my star covered pillow. Suddenly I stop crying. I went to my bathroom to wash the eyeliner from my face. I looked in the mirror and saw my-self as a normal person not another freak but me, me the person I am.
I went and sat on my bed just thinking about nothing.
I herd a loud knock on the door, it was my mom "Morgan dinner is ready". "Ok mom I'll be down soon" I said.
I walked down stairs. Wee!! My dad is here. "Hey dad" I said. "Hey Morgan".
After dinner I have to do homework. School can die so can Mrs. Lee!
After homework I lade down on my bed thinking about this guy I've liked seen 5th grade. Considering that I'm in 7th grade that's a pretty long time to like a guy. His name is Edward but everyone calls him Eddy. His hair is super cool it was straight and its dirty blond, it use to be long but now he cut his hair so he spikes it. In 6th grade in the cafeteria I use to sit in the table in front of where he sat and with a lollipop (I loved lollipop back then a lot) I did my lollipop show hehe.
This is weird I usually put on music after I finish my homework. I really didn't feel like getting up so I got my CD player from my book bag and my CD's from the night table and started listening to music. I was thinking about the house and how many kids I was going to have with Eddy. I know I'm a bit too obsessed. But he's cute, ok he's not, he's ugly but he's super cool I'm not a shallow person. I closed my eyes just to relax. Still thinking about what I've been thru in my life. I can't believe I'm still alive because in 6th grade I use to try to suicide me-self. If you lifted up my arm warmer I have some marks. I took out Emily from under my pillow. And hugged her.
Chapter 2: I woke up listening to "sweet child o mine" I most of left it on last night. I took a small peak at my punk hello kitty alarm clock I got for my birthday.
Holy Crap! Its 8:30 I'm going to be late for school. I took a bath, put my red and black fishnets, black converse, my shirt, and my skirt and had just enough time to put on my make-up. I got my stuff and left the house at about 8:45. I ran to school as fast as I could. But this lady screamed at me saying "its people like you that mess up this country, and stop exposing this to innocence child!" while holding her kids close to her side by side. I slowed down. Inside I wanted to scream at her a say "Look I've been thru stuff that neither you nor your parents I don't think your kids would go thru ever in your life. So f**k off!" But just to be polite I said "Mrs. I have done nothing to you nor your kids nor try to mess up the country this is the way I am and I'm going to stay like this sorry ma'am". I ran some more and got to school at 8:55 perfect timing.
I was running to my class when I accidentally bumped into this girl I guess she as new because I've never seen her around. "Oh I'm sorry," she said picking up her books "No it's all my fault I was running I'm sorry" I said picking up my books "Can you show me where Mrs. Hernandez class is? Please" she said "Oh you have Mrs. Hernandez for homeroom so do I, you can follow me" I said being polite.
She looked cool. She was wearing black and white socks, black converse, a Led Zeppelin shirt, and black baggy Capri.
"Your new here right?" I said. "Yes" she said "My name is Morgan," I said "My name is Blair," I said
Putting my hand to give her a polite handshake, but she stood on her toes and inspected my hand as if it was diseased. I stared, but kept my hand out. Finally after her inspection she gave me a handshake.
I walked into class usually the "rappers" and the "preps" were looking at Blair and I with a disgusted face. I don't care any more. I ignore them. "Your new here I suppose" Mrs. Hernandez said "Yes I am" Blair said "Ok you my take a sit Blair" she said
She sat next to me in the back. This "rapper" had the nerve and asked, "Are you a punk?" how stupid. I spoke for her and said, "That's none of your business David!" Blair stared and him and gave him a death look. He got scared and looked away. WOW! This girl is go; I'm starting to like her a lot. "Thanks Morgan" she said "Its ok I'm use to this. Ghetto people always ask that stupid question," I said "Are you the only Punk in this school," she said "No they're a few punks here," she said "Cool. Do you know any?" she said "Yeah my best friends Alice she's a punk. That's the only person I know I'm not that social. Sorry" said "That's ok I'm not that social my-self. I just came from Miami. I didn't have any friends," she said "Well you have a friends now" I said winking at her. "Ok.. Your funny" she said laughing "Thanks that's what Alice says," I said. "Cool."
Mrs. Hernandez gave Blair her schedule and we had all our class together except for 3rd period I had creative writing (newspaper) and she had journalism (yearbook). When the bell rung Blair and me walked to 1st period together and I showed her around the place a little. As we walked down the hallways people stared at us.
When we got to 4th period Blair sat with me. In the back of the class. I sit in the back of the class because it looks at if I have control over it. It's also very relaxing. In lunch we started talking about our favorite bands (Bon Jovi for me, Metallica for her). The day went on like always.
Chapter 3
"Why not?" I said screaming at my mom I wanted to get my tongue pierced. It was a random idea I had. "Its nasty. Do you know what that would feel when some one is kissing you" she said.
That's what there meanly for. I herd guys like it when you kiss them with a metal ball in your mouth. I rolled my eyes and walked to my room and locked my-self in like always. I have to get a tongue piercing. I have to. This is a reason why I think we should do whatever the f*** we want. It's my body I can do whatever I want to do with it. I looked up at the ceiling while lying on my bed.
I love my room its covered with posters of all my favorite bands most of them are Bon Jovi poster. My bed sheets have stars and moons. I love to look up at the sky at night and just looking for a shooting star. I live in the clouds I'm always thinking.
That same night I woke up. I turned to look at my clock and it said it was 2:19. So I got up and walking down stairs it looked like it was a haunted house and went outside and sat on the steps of my porch. Looking at the stars. Tears came out of my eyes. I felt alone in the world. No one cares for me I mean Alice is my friend but I'm not use to telling my secret or telling her what I feel or my thoughts. I need someone to guide me throw life I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think I'll never get married or have any kids. No one will like me, no one will sit next to me when I'm sad or crying hug me and say, "everything is going to be ok".
After an hour of crying I went back up stairs and to my room. I fell asleep.
YES, it's a Saturday I don't have school. I went into my walk-in closet and took out my cloth. I want to dress gothic today. I took out black fishnets, Mary Jane boots, mid-evil black shirt, and a black skirt. I went to take a bath.
After putting my cloth on. I went to my make up box. I put on some black eyeliner, dark purple and blue eye shadow, and I put a dark purple lipstick. I want to get a tongue piecing!
I walked out of my room and saw my mom. "Hey mom" I said. She looked at me and inspected me for a while. What's with people and inspecting me do I have a sign on my head that says, "Inspect me". After the inspection my mom looked at me and said, "Why do you wear this? Why can't you wear what normal girls wear?" she said. I looked at her and said "I'm not going to wear really tight jean with really tight shirts so guys could stare at your boobs and a** sorry mom". I looked away I think my mom was still inspecting me.
I walked outside to see some kids play. I stopped to look at them. They were all happy and laughing. I smiled and kept walking. Think about my old friend Bianca she was my old friend from 2nd grade. After 3rd she moved at lease that's what her mom told me. But she really died because her mom had been drinking and drove the car right in to a tree. I miss her A LOT! I still think of her. Her mom is a b***h how could she do that. I told you that have been through stuff that a girl my age shouldn't have been through. I HATE MY LIFE!
I walked out side to meet Alice in GG (a subway station) to go to rarely seen. It's a store that has all rocker gear. As I walked out side I saw Blair walking out of her house. "Hey Blair" I said. She looked at me and said, "where did you get those cloths?" she said. I said, "You really want to know?" I said. "Yes yes I want to know". "Follow Me," I said. We walked and talked about sh*t. I told her how I liked her cloth a lot. She wore a nirvana shirt and some guy pants with black converse.
When we got to GG. Alice was they're waiting for me. "Hey Morgan, Hey Blair" she said. I looked at her and said, "Can Blair come". "DUH!" she said rolling her eyes. When the train came we walked in slowly because we saw a whole bunch of rappers and preps going in and that's really bad. We could get "jumped" has the rappers call it. She sat down and started talking. This girl kept staring at me as if I was a weirdo or a freak. Oh wait I am. Well, it's very impolite to stare at people. Once again the inspection and after inspecting me she gave me a bad look.
She came up to me and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you got on the wrong train". I turned to look at her and said "how so?" She came closer to me and said, "The freak train is in the other planet". I turned away and said " are you sure its me your talking about". She looked at me and said, " I hate people like you go away and die or something". I looked at her and said " I have not done a thing to you I don't know why you came up to me and said those things you have said" I turned away and keep talking to Alice and Blair. She rolled her eyes and looked away.
Now do you see why I want to kill my-self? GA! I can't stand them they hate us. They want the entire "rocker", "punks", and "Goth" people to die. AH!
When we got to Manhattan we had to walk about 2 blocks to get to the village. Blair kept asking me "are we there yet?". When we got to the store I felt like I belong everyone was the same as me. I went around the store looking at sh*t and I bought a poster of Led Zeppelin, spiked collar in black. I also bought a pair of baggy black pants, with a shirt that said, "you say psycho like it's a bad thing". Alice bought a poster of blink 182 and Korn, a psycho bunny patch that said, "you smell like butt", she also bought a long black and red dress, with some fishnets and boots. Blair didn't buy anything she said she want to save her money for this thing.
Well, we walked back from the store getting ready to get on the train we saw Blair's mom we talked a little while then took Blair to shop in this other store. So Alice and me walked to the train and this guy come up to Alice to give her a kiss on the cheek. He was about 14 or 15 years old. He was ghetto but GOD! he liked cute. And I would never say that about a ghetto person. He had curly hair, and he had a tan color. A lot darker then my skin color (my skin color is lighter then tan but I'm not white).
"Sup Alice?" he said in a ghetto/Spanish accent. "Nothing can you please not talk ghetto it's really annoying," she said looking away. "Why you got to be frontin'?" he said trying to get Alice's attention. "Stop! Oh sorry Morgan I forgot. Morgan meet Eric my cousin, Eric meet Morgan my best friend," she said. "Hello Eric" I said putting my hand out to give him a polite handshake. "Sup Morgan?" he sounded high when he said that and gave me a handshake. "Nothing I guess you?" I said. "Nothing just chillin" he said. I looked at Alice to see what she would say and she had her hand over her face looking the other way pretending that she didn't know Eric. "Well, I have to go Eric" Alice said pulling my arm. "No I'm going with you guys my friends had to dipped so I'm all alone in the world all cold inside. So I'm going with you people," when he said I looked at him with a weird face. "NO!" she said half screaming. I looked at her and said, "Let him come with us". She rolled her eyes and said, "Fine he can come, lets go"
When we got on the train Alice was trying to sit, as far away from Eric has possible. I don't know why Alice doesn't like Eric he seems nice to me. But I felt special he sat next to me. I don't know how but why started talking. He said he liked the way I dressed I thought that was a really nice thing to say. He started telling me jokes GOD! He's funny. He said I had a pretty laugh and I also thought that was sweet. This guy knows what to say to girls.
When we got of the train Eric said, "well, homies I have to jet but I'll see you around. Bye Morgan" he said giving me a wink. I felt like milting. "Oh and bye Alice" he said still looking at me. He left and I was still looking him. Then Alice slaps me across the head. "What the hell was that!!!" she said screaming. "SHH! What are you talking about" I said rubbing my head. "That I'll see you around Morgan" she said mocking Eric. "Well, what I think he intended to say bye" I said. "No it wasn't and all that flirting you were doing on the train" she said all mad. I was surprised when she said "flirting" I have never flirted in my life. "What are you talking about flirting? I was not flirting you've gone mad" I said walking away. "You were flirting you were giggling a lot" she said trying to catch up to me. What? Giggling? Flirting? What is she talking about? I was not giggling I have never giggled in my whole life. "I was not". "Yes you were". "Ok ok forget it".
"Bye Alice" "Bye Morgan"
Chapter 4
We both lifted to our houses. I still can't believe that I giggled, I didn't recall giggling. I went straight to my room and locked my-self in like always. I went to my walk in closet and under all my pile of dirty cloth I took out my stereo and placed it on my night table next to me. I put on my Evanescence's CD and put number 11 "whisper". It was about 7:30 pm.
The next day I woke up listening to Evanescence "my immortal" I guess I let it run about 3 times. I did nothing that day just prance around my house in my PJ's and watch TV and eat and listen to music fun right!
Today is Monday that means there's school NO! I got dress like always some baggy pants, an over sized Beatles shirt and my black converse. I didn't bother wearing any make-up just black eyeliner and some lip-gloss. I went to school with Alice like always. As we walked she was telling me that Eddie was going to move to Miami. I didn't believe her for some reason but then when we got to school he was there sobbing like crazy. Oh my god I can't believe it he's really going.
That same day in lunch I sat with him. Oh my god! I had the guts to sit with him. "Hey Eddie" I said with a sad face. "Hello and you are?" he asked. "Um.I'm Morgan from Science I'm the one that sits in the back," I said. "Oh Morgan hey so what do you want?" he said. Well that's nice to say, "I heard your moving to Miami," I said. "So." He said. "I came over to say Good-bye," I said looking down. "Thanks" He looked at me and raped his arms around me to give me a hug. My face expression was complete shack. Oh my god he gave me hug. A second later I rapped my arms around him.
After he gave me that long, beautiful hug we started talking. TALKING! OH MY GOD! My wishes are coming true! We talked about stuff you know music, clothe, bands, and our life. He's super cool that's why I like him. When the bell rung to get to our 5 period we also walked together and talked. He invited me to this club today since he lives tomorrow. I said sure and gave him my address to pick me up. I can't wait to go. I asked him if it was a date and he said nothing. I asked for his phone number just incase something happens.
When I got home I asked my mom if I could go a club with Eddie. She said "fine but take this cell phone and call me every hour and come back at 12 ok?" I can't argue with that and said "ok". I went to my room and called Eddie.
"Hello my I speak to Eddie," I said "Yeah this is Eddie" "Oh hey Eddie its me Morgan" I said "Oh how are you doing Morgan?" he said "I'm fine I was wondering if you can tell me what time you'll pick me up?" I said "7:30" "Oh and I was wondering what type of club this is?" I said. "This is a punk/Goth club but a thing you should dress like a Goth." He said. "Ok well, I have to go I have to get ready," I said. "Why that long its 5?" he said. "If you don't know girls we take a pretty long time to get ready" I said "Whatever bye" he said "Bye"
Went to the bathroom and took a shower. I always put on my stereo and listen to music while I take a shower. I after I was done I went to my room and got dressed. I put on a tight mid-evil black-laced shirt, black leather mine skirt, buckled Mary Jane boots and fishnet. I went to my make-up drawer and looked in the mirror. I was thinking about what make-up I should put on. I looked up and down and founded my black eye shadow I put some on. I didn't feel like putting on lipstick so I just put on some lip-gloss. I got up and went to my door mirror and looked at myself then some how Eric comes to mind. Why? How? Out of all people Eric came to mind. I don't know but a giggled. I thought of that joke he told me on Saturday. Why? I'm a thinking of him when I'm gong out with Eddie.
I looked at my clock it was 7:15. I got my bag and went down stairs. "Hey Morgan" my mom said looking at me then walking away. "Hello mom" I said. "So when are you leaving?" she said. "In 10 min" I said. "Don't forget what I told you earlier" she said. "Don't worry" is said. "Bye mom" I said giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Bye Morgan"
I went outside and sat on the porch steps the sun was setting. Then out of nowhere a see a black BMW with the roof down pulling up in front of my house. I could see it was Eddie because of his dirty blond and the driver looked like an older boy, maybe nineteen or twenty. I got up and walked up to the car. He jumped out of the car without using the car door. He was wearing baggy black zipper pants with a black semi tight shirt, he had black eyeliner all around his eye, I thought he liked really hot. When he saw me he's eyes glowed. "Hello Morgan" he said stuttering. "Hello Eddie" I said. "You look really nice this evening," he said. "Thank you" I said. "Lets go" stuttering even more. We walked up to the car and he put out his hand as to help as to help me into the car. "Thank you Sir" I replied, and helped myself into the car. "The pleasure is all my Ma'am," he said. "Hello their Morgan," said the driver. "Hello nice car" I said. "Thank you I'll be your driver for today" he said. I let out a laugh.
"So Morgan how are you?" Eddie said. "I'm fine thank you and you? I said. "I'm great can't wait to get there oh and guess who's going to play?" he said "Um. I don't know strawberry switchblade," I said "Nope kittie" he said "Oh my god really!" I said half screaming. "Yeah"
Chapter 5
I took out my CD player and started listening to kittie. I had those separated earphones. He pulled out one from my ear and listened with me. We listened to "Mouth full of poison" by the time the song was finished the car pulled over. We were at the club. He jumped out of car and let out his hand to help me out. I got off and fixed my skirt. The club was under ground in a basement. Eddie put he's hand around my hip as we walked, when he did I felt like melting. We walked down stair I could hear the song "paper doll" by kittie. When we got to the actual club it was fled with black and dark purple candles. I think we were the only teens there. The club was fled with punks and Goth. I looked over the crowd and saw Morgan from Kittie she is my favorite singer in Kittie. I looked for a minute until Eddie tapped my shoulder and said, "Lets go find a sit".
We found a table in the back. "Here you are madam," he said pulling out the chair. "Thank you very much," I said. When he was getting ready to sit down some guy came up to Eddie and said "Hey Ed haven't seen you around lately" he said giving "Ed" a hand shake and he look hot. "Hey Frank I've been very busy lately besides I've been getting ready to leave to Miami" he said. "Yes I know hope you come to visit soon will all miss you very much," he said giving Eddie a manly huge. Then he looked at me and said "Well, excuse my effrontery Ms. but you look dazzling tonight and your name?". "My name is Morgan delight to make your acquaintance," I said giving my hand out for a handshake. "The pleasure is the entirely my" he said giving me a kiss on my hand. "Well, I must leave, it was pleasant chatting in the company of you Morgan I look forward to see you later on" he said. "Expect seeing you as well Frank. It was extremely pleasant chatting amongst you," I said. "Delighted" he said giving me another kiss on my hand. "Bye Eddie, Bye Morgan" He said walking away.
"Well, he seems polite" I said. "He's a ladies man," Eddie said. "So Morgan what do you think so far" he said. "About what the club?" I said. He nodded his head. "Yes I love it everyone seems nice" I said looking around.
"Mouth full of poison" started playing and I let out a gasp. Eddie starting laughing so did I. "Lets go up there" he said getting up from his chair. "Ok" I said. We both got up and went to where Kittie was performing. We went about second row and banged our heads slowly to the beat. After the song was finish Kittie had to leave and some other band came up. Went back to our table and sat down. We started talking about school and how we never notice each (I have always notice him). Then this other guy came up, I believe it was another one of Eddies friends. "Hello Eddie what's up?" he said. "Nothing much you?" Eddie said. "Nothing much and who is this young lady?" he said. "Brisk, Morgan Brisk delight to meet you" I said giving my hand out for handshake. "Well, Morgan nice to meet you, my name is Chris" he said giving me a kiss on the hand. What's with these people and giving a kiss on the hand? "Pleasure to meet you Chris" I said.