The Not-So-Epic Tale of Randomness
By:Bugandbees(Duh)
Warning:Anything misspelled is probably meant to be that way.I LIKE CRICKETS!
Disclaimer:Um..I don't own Pokemon,but I did come up with the ideas for this story blah blah bla-OH CRAP FLYING BAG OF MEOW MIX
Ash:Hiii i'm the star of this story,and since no one else is here,I'm gonna tell my most secretive thoughts!My list please Josh McCrispingquat!
Josh:I dun wanna give you the list you say you like your avocado dry clean only!
Ash:GIMME! takes anyways...
Random Mudkip: MAGIKARP FINISH IT OFF WITH OIL AND TRANS FAT,THEN DEEP FRY IT IN MELTED SNORLAX LARD!
Ash:WTHECK ARE YOU DOIN?!
Random Mudkip:My best friend's a master chef and we're trying to get back at Dawn for calling me chubby!MORE ADDICTING HIGH CALORIE LIQUID TRANS FAT!
Ash:What are you making anyway..smells kinda good..
Random Mudkip:Rare Cookies!voice suddenly sounds like pokedex,and description appears in mid-air with nothing to support it "Guarnteed to make anyone who eats them addicted and really fat
Ash:I just KNOW something will go wrong...Dawn walks up to them,but is attacked by a can of magic water buffalos
Can:RAWR!PEPPER BREATH!
Me:Wrong show...
Can:Well then i summon u,magical buttfloss!TAKE ME TO nineteen thirty sixty and leventy-fishtick point monkey lip NOW!
Me:Oooooookkk...OOH COOKIES!misses and eats Ash's lower arm Mmmm..crunchy and watery..with extra bran muffins
Ash:Regrows through the power of a person named Levnugit Jamaal Fishinturd.no wait..through the power of randomness. Why did you have to recently contract U.A.E.C syndrome (Unable to Appropriately Eat Cookies)
Me:succesfully eats cookies after taking bite out of everything in 5 mile radius
Mudkip:But your supposed to be fat!
Ash:It dosent work on ppl that already are fat...
Me:Yah that's..HEY WHO AE YOU CALLING FAT?!IM A PERFECTLY NORMAL WEIGHT!
Mudkip:And then some
Me:I BLAME GLANDULAR PROBLEMS!
Everyone else,including Dawn who just randomly decided to start talking even though the Can was gone a while ago:That's what they allllll say
Magikarp:If your weight's soooo average,then explain your stomach...
Me:It'sa figment of your imagination!
Magikarp:Can you poke a figment of your imagination?
Me:You cant poke,your a fish that no one would want if you didnt become Gyrados
Magikarp:W'ever,fatso
Me:THATS IT! kicks Magikarp into endless pit of starved pidgeotto, then sings barney song
Mudkip:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! Now look what you did ya stupid fish!!
Magikarp:We're the safe ones,Mudkip are protected by the power generated from being lieked so much, and Magikarp are protected by the awesomeness of splash attack
Mudkip:..But your in a pit of starved pidgeotto,which are only capable of eating you because Magikarp have an urge they can't ignore to not pay insurance against them...
Magikarp:But i'm not Magikarp iiiii'm..somehow rips off skin and scales with fin,only to reveal Magikarp bones and organs Guess i am Magikarp...
Ralts McLittleLeg:WE GOTTA FLIP THE LOGIC SWITCH!!
Ash:I dunno where you came from, but i have the feeling thats exactly what we're NOT supposed to do!TOASTER STRUDEL POWER ACTIVATE! blocks 550 guhgillion watt lazor genrated by singing barney song for 3 minutes straight before longcat comes and uses his amazing longness to carry the song to China.
Obese Chinese Widesman(because of his stretched out eyes,no offense to chinese people):OMG IT'S A BEAM SO HUGE I HAD TO TURN AROUND TO SEE THE WHOLE THING! This came as a shock,because no widesman had ever had to turn their heads when they saw something in the corner of their eye because it was so wide in 5000 years. Also, your easy bake oven asploded Mr.SassehSmile
Longcat:Is dared to do headstand with whole body straight up by retarded overweight pidgey, but instead of the lazor safely flowing into space,the sheer power of randomness and insanity brings it down to earth, but at the last minute Ralts McLittleLeg shouts "E-I-E-I-O",in a very strange way that even the uptight serious people no one likes because they're so non-random and uptight laugh out loud
As we know,such a sheer raw influx of sudden randomness causes an invisible rip of random.These rips normally cause no effect,but have the amazing ablity to absorb huge amounts of destructive randomness, epic fail, and bad humor and increase in power if the random person actually says something funny, or in a funny or sarcastic way. So if you ever see someone that comes off as an unfunny n00b, there's simply a huge source of bad humor and randomness inside them they have to suck out of their systems.This is also the reason why saying funny things can sometimes lead to a streak of successful funniness in n00bs, but if they are truly stupid, even the funny things will be unsucessful in sucking out the large amounts of bad randitude. Or in funny people, it can be just an unlucky day of a little bad humor. You did know that..right...RIGHT?! Yep..and ima noob too sometimes..we all are sometimes..as much as we don't wanna admit it..
The E-I-E-I-O absorbed a huge amount of barney beemz,eventually causing it to turn it to a regular lazor
RaltsMcLittleLeg:Mudkip,the plan we made while that incredibly long speech was made!
Mudkip:IMA FIRIN MAH LAZOOOOR! lazor collides with Bug's lazor Random person:Don't you mean my lazor? SILENCE!
(WARNING!Next part contains TERRIBLE spelling,not the occasional misspelled thing,but everything is spelled SUPER BADISHLY!)
Lazor coalisionz r teh mosts epik thingz in teh nown wurldz, and doo to teh changy rayz of awesumenusses,i r no lawnger ablez to spells wif teh currectividies.Soh i r veree mooch hoopfullz that j00 r acktshooully abull tew unduhstawndz thises.Whin dey cullidez,dey r able to do impawzibull thengz,liek bwoah upz a unuhvurse..I'd bedduh stawp tawkunz,cuz it r hard to sp-e-...l..l c..o..r..r...e.c...t.l...y (If you want,ignore this part because of terrible grammar.Unless you have a thing for reading extremely bad spelling.)
lazors collide, and suddenly everyone is raised 1000 feet high on paper thin platforms in a pitch black room,as it rains giant hornets and barney dolls and billions of TVs showing scary,creepy movies,and tons of salads made with cabbage,greens,pig feet,moutain oysters,and month old olives show up
Me:WHHHHY,WHHHHY MY FEARS!
Ash:Haha,your afraid of this junk?
Me:Your afraid of Purugly,so shut up
Ash:Oh the horror..oh the fat,ugly HORRORS!
Me:Snaps fingers,causing a giant Purugly to chase Ash around. THAT'S FOR CALLING ME FAT!
Ash:But your the author,you wrote that part!
Me:IT'S HAMTARO TIME!(everything turns normal)
Magikarp:Zomg what happened?
Mudkip:Whys it normal again?
Ralts McLittleLeg:I say we stop questioning the story...
Ash:You have an EXCELLENT point there..
Bigfoot And Loch Ness monster:Hey,wanna capture use and prove our existance?
Me:No thanks,ima pretend I don't see you like everyone else
Pikachu:PIKKKAAAA!
Mudkip:How come you can't speak english?
Pikachu:Pikaaa,pika pika pika
Ash:Whats that boy?There's a munchlax trapped in a boot?Dawn got sucked in Cartoon Network?
Pikachu:NO!!
Magikarp:How'd you stop talking?
Pikachu.I stole your ability to do it...
Magikarp:KARRRRRP!
Mudkip:AMBIDEXTROUS NINJA SNAIL FORCE GO!
Me:OH CRAP I OWE THEM 62.75!(jumps behind an extremely thin toothpick and somehow manages to fit his whole body behind it)
Mr. Krabs:SPONGEBOY ME BOB!
Mudkip:WAFFLES!
Magikarp:Karp..
Gardevoir McLittleLeg:Hello?
Ralts McLittleLeg:MOMMY!(from now on these guys are just Ralts and Gardevoir because i'm so terribly lazy)
Gardevoir:ZOMG Gardevoir nip!rolls around on top of Ambidextrous Ninja Snail Force
Me:Hmm...I meant for her to chase after a bag of mashed potatoes..Hmm..i guess snails can be gardevoir nip too...
Ash:NOW HE'S MAKING AUTHORS NOTES WHILE HE'S IN THE STORY!
Mudkip:We is dead!
Chingling:I LIKE MEAT!
Dawn:WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?
Ash:What are you doing playing Maple Story?
Dawn:IM NOT PLAYING MAPLE STORY!
Ash:Then explain how you gained weight,the main symptom that your too addicted to a game to go outside or exercise!
Me:YAH!
Dawn:Shut up your fat too!cries emoishly in a corner
Me:EMO-HAMMER TIME!smacks Dawn 300 feet into vat of starved sharpedo
Me:Now what...
Ash:Since your way too lazy and stubborn to make more than one chapter,i suppose we'll have to fill up with more useless crap..
Ralts:YAAAAAY!
Me:IM BORED!
Ash:Oh craps writers block!starts fading away THINK OF MORE STUFF!
Mudkip:Mud...whMudt's mud-happ-mud-ening?starts to fade
Ash:If he runs outta ideas we'll not be existant nu moar in the real world!
Pikachu:Your Pika..Right,Pi,I mean he just..pika..set this up,pi pi pika,with REALISTIC AUTHORS PROOOPS!
Me:Ideas slipping..laziness..settling in...
Mudkip:I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING FUNNEH TO SAY!
Ralts:WHO WOULD LIEK A BIRFDAY CANDLE?
Me:MEEEE!Its peanut butter jelly time!
Pikachu:Padded radioactive dental floss time!
Ralts:Ok...OMG MAGIKARP YOUR MELTING!
Magikarp:OH NOES!Ima call the OVERWEIGHT SNEASEL R US!
Barney dolls and blue toothpicks fall out of ceiling
Mudkip:What's happening?
Ralts:This be flippier than a torkoal with rollerskates on its gallbladder,i've gone an lost me an arm!
Caterpie:THIS ENDS NOOOOOOW!
Me:Windows is now shutting down due to Virus Number 7J-3124MONKEY1337S. Classifying. Virus identified.Virus also known as "Laziness"
Pikachu:Pikaaaa! Is humorous yellow sticky puddle with hints of red and brown
Ash:IM MEEEEELTTIIIIING!
Ralts:Au revoir!
Magikarp:Sayonara!
Mudkip:TTFN!
Gardevoir:G2G!
Barney:I LOVE YOU ALL! dies
Dawn:Asta Lavista!
Magikarp:I believe it's Hasta La Vista,silent H,Miss Educated.
Dawn:Arrgh,lets just get on with this!
Ralts:Arrrgh,I be meltin up a storm and I still got me vocal chords in me!
Me:Seriously.Im going to end this story now...
Magikarp:SPLEE!
End.
So how'd ya like it?WAS IT GUUD?DID IT HAVE PONIEZ?I might write a not so serious,but multichaptered story soonishly..Before Virus Number 7J-3124MONKEY1337S makes a return.SPLEEEE!Anyways,BAAAAIIIII!
Warning this story may have caused the following symptoms:Bleedingfromskininsteadofcuts, magicrashes,highbloodpressure,bluetounges,purpleexcrement,greenurine,polkadots,explosivediarehha,
projectilevomitthatsmellslikebranflakes
,singingelephants,obesepeoplestrikes,foodshortages,livinghair,overhypercupcakes,and last but not least..DAWN x PAUL EWWWWW!