Hey guys! So here's a oneshot for eddie and Jake! This one's also inspired by my life. Fyi, this one's kind of sad... And unfortunately, one of the hardest things that I've had to go through in my life so far... I hoped that writing about it will help. So yeah, enjoy!
Dear Jake Hadford (i mean who else would this be to?),
So it's been four months since we broke up, and two months since you've last talked to me... I really hope you know how much this sucks.
I'm writing this because I need some closure with how things are with us. Some of our friends tell me that in a little time, you'll talk to me again, and it will all be ok. I,however, can't even think that that's possible.
If you don't already know, I still love you, and I know I always will. I really don't regret much when it comes to you, except for the fact that you turned me into something that I never wanted to be: a heartbroken girl.
The day we broke up, you sat me down and told me you weren't happy. You told me this wasn't what you needed right now. I cried. You told me you probably would too when you got home. I really hope you did.
You seemed to move on so quickly.
That also sucks.
But, ce la vie.
Here's of the biggest questions I have right now for you;
You asked Michelle out about a month after we broke up... HOW? HOW DID YOU DO THAT? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE MOVING ON SO SOON WHILE I'M LEFT HERE TO PICK UP THE PIECES OF MY BROKEN HEART? (See what I mean about being a cliche heartbroken girl? Thanks for that.)
I cried for days. I'm still crying.
I haven't listened to our song since we broke up. I haven't watched our movie since we broke up. And I haven't heard your voice since you just suddenly decided to stop talking to me... That's the one that hurts the most.
I feel like I haven't been myself since the breakup. Although, that's not your fault. The only thing getting me through this is the fact that in a year I'll be able to escape this... I mean I'll never be able to fully get rid of this horrible aching feeling or away from you, but I will be able to not see you for a while, or maybe even ever again.
Despite all the heart break that this has caused me, you know, you've helped me really discover who I am. We were together so long, planned so many things for our future together, and loved each other so much, that I honestly lost who I am and what I want for me and my future. We always talked about how we go to the same college in town, and by our sophomore year,we'd live together in an apartment together and have our Australian Shepherd, Grace. If we hadn't broken up, I never would have discovered that I want to go to Montana for college instead of staying in Buckman.
People always say that time heals all wounds. At first I thought that was a load of bullshit. I did until about a week ago. That was when I actually started to feel my heart heal. Of course it will always hurt a little for you, I know that, but I also now know that I have to want to heal in order to heal. That's what was holding me back. I think I'm finally ready to try to move on with my life and from you. I want to love again. And thanks to you, I know what love is and that it actually does exist. And for that, well, it's helping me take the first steps.
So yeah, thank you.
Thank you for helping me realize what I really want to do with my life.
Thank you for being my best friend in this whole goddamn world.
Thank you for taking my side when no one else would.
Thank you for giving me the confidence in myself to know that if I can survive this, then I can truly survive anything life's gonna' through at me.
Thank you for giving me the feeling that you have. The feeling of pure bliss. Pure happiness. Pure love.
But most of all, thank you for being my first time, first kiss, and most importantly, my first love.
Now I hope someday I'm brave enough to actually give this to you. But I promise, when you do read this, whenever that may be, you can have the comfort of knowing that no matter where we both are with our lives, that you are still a part of me, and that you truly touched my life and impacted it forever to come.
Thanks again,
Love,
Eddie (let's be honest you've seen part of me that no one ever has, so I might as well just say it) Edith Ann Malloy
