Once they were like brothers, stood side by side whenever it was necessary and never against one another too openly. They lived together peacefully in the same house for countless years, helped each other, where ever they could. But just because of a little argument that concord broke to pieces. Now one is standing opposite the other, steel threateningly raised. Where's the moderation, the goal? Where to should one lead ones hope, when brothers can become deadly enemies? Is an argument reason enough to turn ones own world upside down into chaos?
He has not yet understood what the question is...
It seems as if one has started it, just because of youthful devilment. He wants to prove himself, wants to show the world, that he is also something, that he is not just the older one's shadow. His brother he has already taken from the custody of the older one by force, now he also seems to want to disengage himself from him. He disengages himself from one who never wanted to stop him by taking something that didn't belong to him, that never has belonged to him.
He has not yet understood what he is doing...
Everything he does, the younger one does, seems in his mind to be directed only at the older one. Every thought is governed by the other. He doesn't want to prove himself to the world, he only wants to prove himself to the other one. He wants to prove that he can also be happy, without living like the older one does. He doesn't want to live by arts and with love, but with violence and loneliness. They already call him a god of war, who brings death to all. He, who turned his world upside down into chaos by facing the one that used to be like a brother to him with cold steel in his hands.
He has not yet understood what he is lacking...
He says that he is content, even if the whole world is against him. Only if he's strong enough to face them all. He doesn't want do see even his brother by his side in battle. It is enough for if he can throw himself in every new battle to forget, if he comes to an agreement with himself while fighting that his life is better than the one his elder friend is leading. He doesn't need anyone, a life without friends is the best life that he can imagine. Allies are just a means to an end in fighting, but such a link is fast broken. You can't trust anyone apart from yourself.
He has not yet understood what he is missing...
Just the steel in his hand, the worn and used wood, that he's feeling through his gloves, gives him the courage to endure life. He sees no other sense in it than to bring red flowers to the world and to change the color of the rivers. If you can't move mountains or bring the world to a halt, then it has to be the humans who are shaken to their very fountains. There is neither black nor white in this world anymore. There is only one color left, which outshines everything that used to be clear,which in it's grim shine stains the hearts of those who see it.
Yet he has not understood what he is destroying...
The one fights because he does not wish anything more than be recognized, anything more to be accepted for being himself. About that he forgot that there also could be a time without fights, a time when the deathly steel rusts away on the walls of great halls, while it's dreaming of former glory under a thick coating of dust and is marveled at by children who had never been to be defended by the help of it. The other one fights because he couldn't understand why one would take something from him because he forgot his former brother in mind at all, because he seemed to be weak and vulnerable. Now he has to clean the dust off his steel and replace it by fresh fluid, which soon will make it blunt again. He fights without wanting to. So he says. He has to defend himself. So he says. He relies on her in fight, he has to protect her by being strong. Non of those two ever tried to settle this in an argument instead of a fight.
He hes not yet understood what is driving his opponent into fighting...
The little brother is alone in the big house in which once both fighters were living. He is swaying back and forth between them, he doesn't know who he has to side with, but he understands that his decision would be important for both of them. But he cannot come to that decision, cannot choose between his brother and the one who is like a brother to him. His young chest is riven, he'll never know whose side to take until history will side for him, until the one making the decision has also taken this freedom from him.
He has not yet understood what his actions mean for the future...
Is the wish for being recognized that wrong, is it because of the way, is it because of the methods which turn this wish wrong? Is there another way for one who has never experienced unity? For one who learned that unity cannot be reached, just won. The wishes that the little brother had and held high were also those of the elder brother, although he doesn't show this to anyone, although he buries them in his shattered soul. Not even he, who shows off to seem strong when he's on his own, can carry all burdens by himself. Not even he can free himself from those wishes, which mean to him as much as his wish to be independent from his former brother in mind. Not even he can silence this longing in his chest on his own.
He has not yet understood what drives him...
He doesn't know any Gods since he made himself one of them. He only believes in himself, in his own strength. He feels also left by the one he believed in. Now in his darkest hours he trusts in the lord which he served, who was taken from him. No one can bring the dead back to live but also the dead cannot interfere with the business of the living. He needs one to trust in, to believe in. One to confide in. But even when he wants to put his feelings into words he would never speak them out loud. Only his quick prayers into the realm of dead are filled with feelings and sizzling paper has turned to chains that bound them forever.
He has not yet understood what he wants to believe...
He smiles securely at the world, takes on his enemies who were turned into them by himself, rises steel which brings destruction also for him. The smile keeps him from crying those tears he not even admits to himself. The cold of this smile goes out to the whole world, it is a cry for help and also a challenge. He already awaits them, awaits them all who prove to him that he IS alive by fighting him. He knows that the one he once could have called a brother will be dragged into misery where he already is by fighting against him. One day he would also destroy his love.
He will never understand what PEACE means...