A/N: I've been writing a lot of romance or fluff recently. But angst is my first love, so I bring angsty Kurt and Blaine.
Never To Be
Blaine still isn't sure that he deserves this. Long lunches out that aren't dates, relaxed laughs and casual touches. Kurt's hand, brushing against his as they walk down the halls. It would be so easy to reach out and take it, run his fingers over the knuckles and watch Kurt blush. But he doesn't. He lets them drift apart as they enter rehearsal. Kurt smiles at him, maybe wants them to sit together. Blaine doesn't dare. He watches Kurt sit next to one of the other boys, watches the boy laugh and smile and flirt with Kurt.
Blaine feels his hands bunch into fists as he looks at them, sees the boy lean in and brush a stray piece of hair from Kurt's cheek. Kurt blushes and glances up at Blaine, but his mentor has already looked away. Kurt's gaze is hard as he arranges a date with the other boy for the next week.
Blaine can almost feel his heart being ripped out as he sees them in the hallways after the next rehearsal, hands twined together, Kurt rambling on about something or other as his boyfriend only pretends to listen. Blaine thinks for one second about how much better he would treat Kurt… but no. Kurt is not for him.
Because Kurt is meant for someone who is honest and good looking. Someone brave like him, not a coward like Blaine. Blaine holds onto that thought as he watches Kurt and his boyfriend perform a love song in front of all the warblers. It hurts more than Blaine thinks it has a right too.
Two months later, Blaine tosses and turns in his bed, unable to sleep. Insomnia has him in its iron grip, and it will not let go easily. Blaine stumbles out of bed and flings open the door, desperate for some fresh air, for anything. What he sees nearly shuts his mind down for good. Kurt is pressed up against the far wall; shirt unbuttoned and tie hanging loose. Moonlight streams in through a large window, illuminating his face, and the lips that are attached to his neck. The lips that belong to his boyfriend. The lips that move upwards, kissing every inch of Kurt's collar until Blaine is ready to weep with jealousy and stolen lust. The lips that finally connect with Kurt's. Blaine gasps; low and quiet, so quiet that no-one could have heard him.
But Kurt looks up, eyes open and staring into Blaine's as he passionately kisses another boy. Blaine looks away, because this is how it's meant to be… Kurt would never be his.