Hi!
A missing scene at the end of 5x22... Dean/Cas- going a bit further than fluff here...
Very angsty in places, but with lots of fluff and tender loving as well...
Please leave a review!
Enjoy!
Onwards...
'Well you really suck at goodbyes'
Dean frowned and carried on driving, sighing as the rain started to pound on the windscreen. The night was drawn in fully now, the heat of the day dissipating into a harsh humid air which suffocated every breath out of Dean's body.
'Damn it, Cas.' The hunter muttered, looking back to the seat next to him, hoping beyond hope that the angel had come back to him. After everything that had happened, everything that they had been through together, how could he treat him like that; blow him off at the last moment? He cared for the angel more than he could ever say out loud and he just wanted him back. Now Sam was dead, what else did he have? Bobby? Hunting? It just wasn't enough. Castiel's face, his confusion at Dean's behaviour. It killed Dean that Cas was gone, that he might never come back.
He sighed, a deep feeling overwhelming him, coming up through his every fibre. He turned on his blinker and pulled over, watching in his rear view as Bobby slowed to a stop next to him.
'Dean?' the older hunters eyes were red rimmed, as though he had been crying.
Dean cleared his throat. He'd be damned if he cried in front of Bobby. Not here. Not now.
'I'm gonna find a motel, clear my head.' Dead didn't look at the man he regarded as his father.
He heard Bobby sniff. 'Sure, son. Make sure you call me; I don't want to lose two of you.'
Dean nodded and quickly drove forwards, leaving Bobby behind as a shadow in his mirror. Dean carried on driving, through the wind and rain, for miles and miles. He didn't care if he run out of gas and had to sleep in the car, he didn't even care if he got himself lost in the middle of nowhere; nothing mattered much now.
Soon enough, he reached a motel and he paid for his room, grabbing his day bag. Locking the door behind him, he pulled out his only friend and comfort; a bottle of whiskey.
Unscrewing the lid, he took his first mouthful, the familiar taste not stinging his mouth, not giving him any indication it was in his mouth. Dean guessed he was just numb now.
'You shouldn't be doing this.'
A deep, gruff voice interrupted his thoughts and Dean swallowed his mouthful, turning slowly to see his angel stood in front of him, a tender look on his face.
'Why not?' asked Dean, taking another mouthful.
'Because you know it's not helping.' Cas stepped forwards and gently pulled the bottle out of Dean's hands, pressing a kiss to the hunters lips. Dean melted, this was all he wanted, all he ever wanted.
They broke for air, Castiel standing barely a centimetre from Dean, their lips still meeting as they spoke. Cas's blue eyes, his beautiful eyes bore into his own, a shared knowing passing between them.
'Sam wouldn't want this.' Cas whispered, his hands coming up to trail the hunters face, resting on his cheek. 'He wanted you to be happy.'
'I am happy' murmured Dean, leaning forwards and pressing his lips against the angel's again. He felt the angel smile and sensed it was bittersweet.
'This isn't happy, Dean.'
'I'm happy with you. I've always been happy with you.'
Cas smiled at him, watching in distain as Dean took another mouthful, near enough finishing the whole bottle. Dean's eyes glazed slightly and he sat on the bed, looking up at the angel with a frown on his face.
'Stay?'
Cas moved and knelt down in front on the hunter, shrugging off his heavy trenchcoat.
'You know I can't' he whispered, resting his palms on Dean's thighs. He kissed Dean's throat, moving upwards and taking his lips with his own, passing all his love, his passion into the human's body.
'Why?' Dean opened his arms wide. 'We could get a house...a picket fence. There's nothing stopping us, Cas. It'll be just you and me.' Dean couldn't see a reason why not, the alcohol running through his veins clouding his vision just slightly, making the angel in front of him seem distant.
Castiel felt his stomach grow tight, his throat closing up. 'Dean' he croaked, watching the man in front of him breaking, falling before his eyes. He would love nothing better than to do that, to make Dean happy. But he knew it could never happen, not how Dean wanted it.
'It wouldn't work' the angel tried, looking into the hunters tear soaked eyes as Dean cupped his face in his hands. 'You can't stop hunting, the past shows that! And you know I could never stay forever...it wouldn't be fair on you or me.'
'We could make it work.' Dean sounded pitiful, desperate and he slid off the bed, now both of them on their knees, tears streaming down their faces. 'With time, we could be happy.'
'Lisa is happiness' Cas told him, holding his hunter as he leaned against him.
'I don't love Lisa like I love you.' Dean said in his ear, kissing the angel's neck, leaving a trail of kisses as he reached his mouth. Castiel's back arched and he moaned slightly.
'If I stay, I'll have to watch you grow old and die, while I remain like this.' Cas took Dean's face in his hands and looked deep into his eyes. 'Is that what you want?'
'As long as I was with you, I wouldn't care.' Dean told him, eyes focussing.
'After time, you will. And I would never do that to you, Dean. I love you two much to do that.'
The whole room seemed to grow silent, the tension audible. 'You love me?'
Castiel nodded, kissing Dean again. 'You will always have my love, Dean. Always; nothing can ever change that, but I want you to be happy.'
Dean felt a tear slide down his face and he nodded, leaning into the angel, who melted into his embrace.
'Stat with me tonight? 'asked the hunter. 'Just one last time?'
Castiel smiled and leaned in. 'This isn't the last time, Dean. I'll come back...I'll never be gone, not really. Whenever you need me, just pray. I'm only a prayer away.'
'You sound like a fortune cookie.' Dean whispered in his ear. Together, joined at the lips, the hunter and the angel stood up, Dean turning them around and gently pushing the angel back onto the bed. Leaning down, he gently pulled out his belt, laying feather light kisses across Cas's neck as he writhed beneath him.
Dean worked his way up his body, leaning down once more to nip just under the angel's ear. 'Cas?'
'Mmm?' moaned the angel, his fingers curled in the fabric of Dean's shirt.
'I love you too'
-x-
The light breeze and the sharp sunlight woke the hunter, pulling the blanket back over at his naked body. He smiled at the memory of the night before, his skin relaying the sensations over and over again. The feel of the angel on him, the sounds he made. His eyes closed, he turned to his side, flinging out an arm to pull Castiel towards him. His eyes opened in shock and upset as his hand met empty bed.
Instead, lying next to him was something he never thought he see again. His amulet. He smiled and took it in his hands, the metal warm against his fingers.
He lay back on his bed, looking at the ceiling, trying to imagine the heavens above.
'Thanks, Cas.' He smiled, knowing that every word he said last night was the truth. Castiel was never truly gone, not really. He'd be around when he needed him.
He pulled himself out of bed and got dressed. Grabbing his keys he vacated his motel room, reaching the Impala and getting inside.
Hanging the amulet just under the rear view mirror, Dean started on his journey to Lisa's.
But he knew, in his heart, it was Castiel he loved.
And always would.
Reviews much appreciated and replied to...I would really love to know what you think about this one.
Thanks so much for reading, hope you liked!
Luckypixi
xxxxx