Disclaimer: First paragraph was written by Suzanne Collins. It's here because I needed to show exactly where I was breaking away from the book.

The fence isn't charged any more and has been propped up with long branches to keep out the predators. But old habits die hard. I think about going to the lake, but I'm so weak that I barely make it to my meeting place with Gale. I sit on the rock where Cressida filmed us, but it's too wide without his body beside me. Several times I close my eyes and count to ten, thinking that when I open them, he will have materialised without a sound as he often did. I have to remind myself that Gale's in 2 with a fancy job, probably kissing another pair of lips.

I close them once more, promising myself it is the last time. I make it to two when I feel somebody fill the void beside me. I keep my eyes shut because I know that when I open them he won't be there. It's not real. Nothing is anymore. But maybe, just for today I can lose myself in my hallucinations. Pretend that they never called out Prim's name. That I was never the Mockingjay.

"Guess I was right about you from the start." It wasn't Gale's voice. Gale's was never that high and irritating. I growl as I see Johanna smirking at me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, as if I didn't already know. Her life's mission was to make everybody as miserable as she was. The joke is on her. For once, she's the happy one.

"And here I was thinking we'd have such a happy reunion."

I look away from her. I'm not in the mood to play her games today. She is not who I want. She is not who I need.

I hear Johanna sigh and see her shift in the corner of my eye. She's fiddling with something and it isn't until the smell of pines infiltrates my nose that I realise what it is. I'm thrust back into that hospital that feels like a lifetime ago. Johanna looked at me like I had given her the world, and for just a moment, there was no war, no Snow, no rebellion. Just a lost woman who had found her way home. That's how she looked at me. Like I was her home.

In a world filled with loss and pain, where everything is associated with what the war has taken from me, this one memory doesn't bring me pain. It is enough to cause me to look at her once more and I know that's exactly what she wanted.

Satisfied she has my attention, she continues. "I went to District 4 with Annie, to help her with the kid. I owed Finnick that much at least."

I frown. Johanna and District 4 doesn't sound like the best combination.

My concern causes her to growl. "Yeah, it didn't end well. I went back to District 7, but there wasn't much for me there. Went out into the forest to lose myself, but I ended up finding you instead."

Finding me? "You walked all the way here from Seven?"

"I meant metaphorically, brainless. Because of your stupid pines. It's bad enough that everybody is talking about you, I can't even go into my forest without being reminded of your stupid face." She looks away from me, still fiddling with the bundle. Why did she keep it if I annoyed her so much?

"I'm so angry at you, you know." she finally says. I'm hardly surprised. Who isn't Johanna angry at? "I came all this way to yell at you for Coin, for not killing Snow when you had the chance, for not even fucking saying goodbye, but you know what? I can't. You're so pathetic yelling at you would be like kicking a puppy."

I rise to the bait and before I know it, I've slammed her into the ground. "Prim is dead! My sister is dead! What do you want me to do? Act like nothing happened? I've lost everything."

She doesn't fight back. Not physically, anyway. "You can stop acting like an idiot. I've been there. Most of us have. But we didn't mope around feeling sorry for ourselves. We picked ourselves up, dusted our loved ones off our hands and did what we could to make their deaths have meaning. And we did that all by ourselves. You have people who love you, if only you'd let them. That's more than we had."

I laugh bitterly. She knows nothing. "Peeta can still barely stop himself from killing me, and Gale ran off to District 2 because every time I see his face I see my sister being blown to pieces." I see Johanna's face soften. The harsh mask falls away and I see sadness in her face. She is a mirror, and it hurts to see my raw emotions reflected. But I can't turn away. Not from those eyes, that are staring at me with such caring. Not from her lips, that look so inviting.

The emotions overwhelm me and I do what I always do. I lower myself down and gently press my lips against hers. They're soft. Such a contrast to her harsh existence. Johanna is a rock slide. Her lips are clouds.
She responds almost instantly, as if she'd been waiting. Her hands tangle themselves in my hair, gently caressing my scalp. Gently, gently. Slowly, like we have all the time in the world. And maybe we do.

Johanna breaks the kiss and in one smooth movement, as if to prove that she could destroy me at any moment, flips me onto my back. She winks at me and the chaos is back and it ignites me. At that moment I truly am the girl on fire. She must have seen the change in me because she smirks and gets off of me and leaves me lying in frustration.

"I'm going to kill you." I sigh.

"Come on, girl on fire. Let's go back. Maybe we could steal some of Haymitch's alcohol."

"You really do have a death wish." I manage to get to my feet, but I'm exhausted after just a few steps. It's tempting just to lie down and stay here. Maybe Johanna could join me.

"Oh, come on. You really are useless." She looks at me like I'm a misbehaving child. "Alright, climb on my back. It's not like it's the first time I've had to pull your weight."

Snuggled against her back, I realise something.
I don't want Peeta.
I don't want Gale.
I want Johanna.
I need Johanna.