DISCLAIMERS/NOTES

1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by the BBC. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun.

2. This is a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this.

3. OK, so there's a very important canon conceit here, aside from the obvious romantic coupling. Namely, Amy never left. She was around for Clara's arrival, all through the Eleventh Doctor's tenure, and his regeneration into the Twelfth. Got that? Cool.

4. What's that... ? Rory? River? Danny? Well, you see... hey, what's that over there? (*RUNS AWAY*)

PART 1

"What have I told you about hanky-panky in the control room?!"

The two young women broke their ferocious kiss and turned their heads at the wild-eyed man who just entered.

"And on the control panel, no less!" the Doctor shrieked.

Amy Pond rolled her eyes and huffed. "We're nowhere near it, you old coot," she drawled from her spot against a railing a few feet from said panel. Of far closer proximity was the person she was just seconds ago trading saliva with, who, in contrast to Amy, looked rather embarassed.

"Doctor, please," whined Clara Oswald as she brushed a stray hair away from her face. "Don't you ever knock?"

The Time Lord looked at them incredulously. "Why in Galifrey's name would I have to knock in my own TARDIS, Ms. Oswald? Let alone the main control room. You know, the most important room of all? The room where even the tiniest knock of a lever could send us careening into a black hole?" He threw his arms up. "But of course, that doesn't matter, does it? No, no - you two just carry on being blinded by pheromones and I'll come along and save us when we're about to crashland on a lava-encrusted newborn Earth. You could count that as my wedding present."

"Doctor, stop!" Clara ordered, a hint of the schoolteacher coming out. She glanced at her fiancee: Amy could not keep the look of want from her eyes. The Scot always loved when Clara got all authoritative. "We get it, OK? We'll go to our room."

The Doctor just grumbled incoherently as he approached the control panel. "It's alright, old girl, they're going now," he soothed at the inanimate object. "They won't dribble over you anymore."

"We weren't dribbling, thank you very much," snorted Amy. She took Clara's hand and held it softly. "There's only one girl I dribble over." The teacher blushed so much her head threatened to explode.

"Oh, thank you for that image," sighed the Doctor. "Could you perhaps save that for your Valentine's night? I'm already traumatised by your shenanigans to last several lifetimes. At least now you'll be out of my hair for a couple of nights."

Amy quirked an eyebrow. "You're still taking us, then? Even after we molested your ship?"

"You could never molest the TARDIS," chuckled the Doctor. "She'd zap you before you got close."

The former kissogram folded her arms. "Then why didn't she zap us when we were 'on the control panel'?"

"I never said you were," said the Time Lord quickly, an innocent expression on his face.

Amy's face twisted. "You just walked in here and said... !"

"Nah, must've been another me," shrugged the Doctor, as he returned his attention to the TARDIS. "Your betrothed is making stuff up again, Clara. As if I'd ever say such a thing."

Clara watched the entire exchange pinching the bridge of her nose. "Can't you both just give it a rest? Dammit, I thought my pupils could be nightmares, but you two are just like children together." She let out a frustrated sigh. "I have two Scots in my life, and they're both crazy."

Amy frowned. "Three - don't forget Mi... "

"Look, it doesn't matter," Clara interrupted. "Amy, let's just leave the Doctor alone. Besides, he's right - if the TARDIS is to get us to our destination, we can do our part in not being in the way. C'mon." She took her fiancee's hand and led her up one of the staircases to the upper level of the control room.

"Yes, don't worry, Clara," called the Doctor to their retreating forms. "We'll get you two lovebirds to your romantic getaway, and no amount of tongue-swapping distractions will stop us!"

Just as Clara and Amy were about to leave through one of the adjoining corridors, Amy stopped and turned back. Clara watched as Amy looked back down at their strange friend. "Hey... Doctor? Sorry if I was a wee bit harsh."

The Doctor's response was immediate. He simply looked up at her and grinned. "Wouldn't have you any other way, Pond."

Amy turned back and Clara saw her beaming wide. In many ways, the Doctor was not the same man they both met - at separate times - and knew. Yet in more ways, the important ways, he was the exact same lovable goof they spent numerous escapades with. And his use of Amy's surname was a reminder of such: proof her "Raggedy Man" was still in there.

With a satisfied nod, Amy retook her fiancee's hand and together they walked down the corridor. Hopefully the TARDIS would make their trip to their room short this time. It seemed the time machine did not particularly like them having "hanky-panky" either, and often rearranged her internal geography to delay the engaged couple reaching their destination. Then again, Clara pondered, perhaps the old girl was actually aiding them. Indeed, in the times journeying to their bedroom was overly long, by the time they reached it both Amy and Clara were so desperate, they were all over eachother in seconds. Moreso than usual.

Clara let out a chuckle at the idea. Imagine the TARDIS actually helping them get their rocks off! The Doctor would regenerate at the thought of his beloved ship having a kinky side!

"What're you laughing at?" came an amused question. The schoolteacher giggled and voiced her conjecture. Amy guffawed loudly. "So you think the TARDIS likes to watch?! That's hilarious!"

Clara blushed again. "Quiet, Amy! Don't let the Doctor hear you say that. He won't take us to New Venus."

"He wouldn't dare not," said Amy through narrow eyes. "He owes us after we saved his arse from that slime monster."

Rolling her eyes, Clara quickened her steps. "Let's just finish up with our packing, OK? I know for a fact that you've barely started."

"I have a better idea," came Amy's response. Before Clara knew what was happening, the Scot stopped dead in her tracks and, in one fluid motion, pulled the teacher backwards, spun them both around and pinned Clara to the wall of the corridor. A sharp breath escaped Clara's chest at the impact, and she blinked to catch her bearings, only to see Amy leaning close... very close. Clara questioned her wordlessly.

Amy smirked at her trapped fiancee. "I think we should give the TARDIS a real show." With that, she dove forward and kissed Clara passionately. Completely overwhelmed, the Impossible Girl moaned into the kiss, even as she felt Amy unbutton her skirt...

TO BE CONTINUED