What the F…?
"Sodding hell! What the fuck happened?" Spike continued to rub his hands across his chest, feeling the strange sensations rippling through his body. "Hmmm, does feel sorta nice. No wonder the bints go crazy for it. Wonder if I could just bend over far enough to get a tongue on?"
Xander woke with a start. He sat up and had the strangest feeling something was very wrong. First things, first he needed the bathroom. He stood, half-awake before the toilet and vaguely rubbed his hand across his chest with the hand not currently occupied. There was an itch there and he started scratching it.
"What the fuck?'"He put little Xander back in his pajamas and went to stand in front of the mirror. Slowly he unbuttoned his shirt all the way, staring intently in the mirror as he did so. "Oh my g..." He fell to the bathroom floor in a dead faint.
No doubt about it, age was catching up with him, Giles thought. He never felt rested when he woke in the morning, as though he had tossed and turned all night, which he had. He rubbed his face, wiping the sleep from his eyes and stretched his arms up as he stretched his entire body, lifting his feet a little from the bed as he did so. He glanced down towards his toes. Across his chest.
"Bloody hell! Willow!"
Sometime later the entire gang, including the undead wanker, was assembled in Giles living room. They were all babbling at once and he took his glasses off to wipe them and wish for the hundredth time, he could take something a bit stronger than Tylenol for his crashing headache.
"Yes well I apologised for jumping to the thought that you were responsible Willow. I think the important thing here, is that we find out who is responsible, what they did and how we go about reversing it."
"Maybe a bit of underwear shopping as well," Buffy added with a snicker.
Giles merely raised his eyebrows at her. "Buffy, I would appreciate it if you would treat this situation more seriously."
"Sorry Giles. It's just, well you look pretty funny and seriously a good bra stops you getting a sore back. Especially if you are really well endowed, um, like you seem to be."
"Oh yeah. I reckon a double D cup at least," Willow added, still feeling a bit miffed that everyone had jumped to the same conclusion as Giles had, and blamed her for the situation the three men now found themselves in. She snickered at the 'men'. Bit hard to apply that label right now.
"Spike! Stop playing with your chest. It's too weird!"
"You're just jealous Slayer, 'cos we got more than you!" His tongue poked out between his smirking lips as he continued to run a finger around what was obviously a very aroused and erect nipple pushing his tee out.
"You're a pig, Spike."
"Oink, oink, Slayer."
"Enough, you two. You're bickering is not getting us anywhere. Spike stop that now or I'll get out the manacles and you can research in the bathtub." Giles rubbed the bridge of his nose, hoping that his headache would go and that the aforementioned shopping expedition would not come have to come to pass. "Now let's put together what we do know."
"Well, we know the three of us men woke up this morning with boobs a lot bigger than we went to bed with. We know yours look like those of a matronly old wet nurse and need some support before they cause a hunch back, whereas Harris and me have pert, young things that respond well to a bit of attention."
"Speak for yourself fangless. My breasts do not need attention. Um that is I mean..." Xander looked down his front in contemplation. "They are pretty amazing aren't they? They stand up all by themselves really. Don't need a bra to hold them up."
"Spike, shut up. Xander stop running your fingers around your, um, breast like that. How can we take this seriously if you two keep doing that? I can't even look in Giles direction." Buffy did so as she said this and had to suppress another snicker. He did look like a well-endowed old woman. He really, really needed a bra.
"And, as I was going to add before the peanut gallery chimed in, we still got our dangly bits. Sodding sloppy, half assed sex change curse if you ask me."
"No-one was asking you, dead boy junior. And oh, god, imagine if our dangly bits were changed too."
"Enough with the dangly bits! As I was saying, I'll go hit the streets and see if I can come up with some info on who might be casting spells and you, er guys, stay here and help research. Willow, maybe you, Tara and Anya should go to the Magic Box and start looking through the books there, for a counter spell."
"Yes, well that probably is the best recourse at the moment. I certainly can't go outside like this." Giles' headache was now throbbing behind his eyes and his back was actually starting to feel the extra weight of his additional appendages. Heaven forbid but he couldn't help feel that perhaps a brassiere of some description was in order.
"Okay. Let's get to it!" Buffy was always action girl and she was up and out the door before anyone else could come up with a reason to stay. The other three girls followed her through the door.
"Well now. Who's up for a game of spin the bottle? Maybe, cop a feel in the dark." Spike leered at his companions.
"Shut up Spike!" Xander groaned.
"Be quiet, you idiot." Giles snapped at the same time.
Spike just grinned and continued running his finger around his very responsive nipples.
...