Part one, or how to survive christmas
It was almost Christmas. Everyone was decorating every possible thing in town. Christmas songs he had never heard before were echoing through the streets. Even at night Storybrook seemed to glimmer in light. He had never seen anything like that before and he wasn't so sure that he would ever get used to it.
To be honest it was more like he wanted to cut these three days out of time and no one could ever be blaming him for this! Damn! Christmas was the celebration of love and his own one was burried about at least a thousand meters under the sea together with his love and his heart beating out of love. Of course his heart itself was still beating in his chest but right now while everyone was about to celebrate it felt like Milah had taken it with her.
His pain was stronger than ever. He was grieving more than anyone else had ever done before or at least it felt like that. So how was he supposed to stand all this weird people acting strangly nowadays? The answer was frightening plainly: he wasn't! He wasn't going to celebrate it and he wasn't going to be the part of any celebration in this town or anywhere in this world. He would be hiding on his ship. Locking himself up to escape the howl world and ignoring the fact that he was feeling more alone than ever before. It was always like this. Every year.
If it was about this the past 28 years had been a celebration for him. No christmas and on top of it not a single soul asking him to join.
Hook left the streets and choosed a sidewalk so anybody would meet up with him by accident. He had been using this way a lot of times by now. It was perfect because no one knew it since he had made it when he had just arrived in town still hiding with Cora's help.
The day was still early but he decided to enter his cabin on his beloved Jolly Roger and to relax maybe even sleep a little. Maybe it would make everything a little better. And if not he could still try to find out a way to finally get his revenge on Rumpelstiltskin he had been spying on for the day the bastard had shown up on his ship when Cora's spell was broken and his presence was finally revealed to everyone.
But for now he leaned back in his bed and crossed his arms behind his head, cursing Rumpelstiltskin for cutting off his hand because the hook was always in the way while doing that and closing forcefully his eyes.
He could only hear the sound of the sea what was quite refreshing after all those sounds they were listening to in this weird world without magic like they were calling it everywhere. He listened to the sound of the sea till he could identify almost every wave that crashed on the beach of this weird harbour.
"You aren't trying to get you're revenge for Milah but only for yourself!", Emma's voice echoed silently through the sound of the water: "The one who dies is the one who gets away. She has no use of getting revenge on anyone anymore and you know that pretty well. She is only an excuse for you seeking for it because you can't stay the pain anymore. You have never been albe to do so."
He sighed angrily. What did she know of Milah or himself!
"Instead of it you should treasure every single moment you have got in your life because she gave herself in order to save you!"
He turned annoyed on his left side putting his hook under the pillow and trying to cut the Swan girl out of his thoughts. He yawned and listened to the waves again. Its sound was mixing up with the air what he loved on the sea. His eyes got heavier, his breath mixed up with the sound of the air and the water till he didn't know anymore what was what and to who belonged it and than he didn't care about it anymore.
A soft hand caressed his cheek. Someone put his hair so softly out of his face that it was almost hurting so good was the feeling. He pressed his eyes tougher together in order to prevent himself of waking up.
A giggle filled the silence. It was a silent one that he hadn't heared for such a long time. It reminded him of lying on the beach with a bottle of rum next to a fire.; joking, laughing, kissing and loving.
Hook opened his eyes in a hurry and was Killian again. He was lying on Milah's lap looking up into her pretty face that was surrounded by her lovely curls. She was smiling at him while still caressing his hair one hand lying upon the place his heart was beating fast.
He was together with her again. He had her back! The pain and the nastiness were gone. He didn't even care about Rumpelstiltskin or Swan anymore. She was here and that was everything that mattered right now.
Her face slowly turned serious and she was looking down on him in sorrow and disappointment: "You need to let go." It wasn't more than a whisper but it felt like a punch in his face.
"What?", he asked in disbelieve.
"Killian,", she said softly: "This is just a memory. I'm not there anymore so aren't you like you were when we were together. You are dreaming and you know it. But you can't choose to stay within a dream. You need to live for me! For our love and everything it meant to us."
He frowned: "But I'm already trying to achieve it."
"To achieve what?", she asked somehow confused.
"To get revenge on him for what he did to you!", and he was Hook again, standing in front of her and trying to defend his point.
Milah looked at him in anger and sighed: "See? This is exactly why I'm here now!"
"What?"
"You just can't let go!", she answered in a hurry: "That's why you want your revenge. Not for me but only for yourself!"
"You sound just like Swan.", he turned his eyes and shook his head.
"Well, honey in this she is right, definetly.", she said a bit calmer: "You know why I'm here?"
"Because I can't let go?", he joked getting closer to her smirking.
She gave in to him and it was just like old times until she answered him: "It's christmas and you are hiding in here while you're heart is actually aching of lonelyness and sorrow. You are cheating, betraying, using girls, stealing, killing innocent people if one lets you do so. That's not you! Not only. But right now you're behaving like it was all that you are."
Hook frowned. What?
"I'm here to show you around the past, the present and the possible future.", she answered: "Right now I'm just warning you. You will meet ghosts showing you around all this under my control until you finally understand everything. But you won't only like it. It will be tough for you, but there is no way out of it anymore."
Something cracked. He opened his eyes and saw the planks of his Jolly Roger. He sat up and watched around the room, but Milah was gone. He was alone again. Alone in the dark of his pain and his revenge!
He stood up and went on deck to check out what had made this noise. The wind had gotten wilder, the waves had grown that tall that it was almost kicking over the railing at its deepest point. He locked the door in his back carefully and headed to the mainmast to tie it more tightly around.
When he was finished and wanted to get back down on the deck again, he lost grip and fell.
"Hey, wake up!", a voice shouted at him. A voice he could hardly remember. Killian opened his eyes and was confronted with a nose almost as close as touching his own one which was really strange.
"What are you waiting for? We don't have so much time ya know?", said a boy looking straight into his eyes. His feet didn't touch the ground. That was odd.
"Come on! I have to show you so much. We will be really busy! So get up!"
"Who are you?", Killian asked while pleasing the wishes of the little boy that reminded him of someone.
The boy rolled his eyes annoyed: "Man, ya really don't remember me? That's just impossible!"
Killian pressed his eyes a little together and set his head obliquely as if it could help him to remember who was standing in front of him. There had been a bunch of kids in Neverland.
"Oh com'on!", the kid hissed disappointed: "If ya have forgotten me, t'must be worse than I thought!"
There had been only one kid with this kind of behavior in front of him: "Peter?"
"Pan, yes!", his face lightened up: "You finally remember. Was about bloody time!"
"What's going on?", Hook checked his arms and his legs because the last thing he remembered was him falling from the mainmast. But there was not a single fracture or something. Was he dreaming?
He looked the kid up and down. In that case it had to be a nightmare!
"Ya aren't even listening to me.", Pan put his fists in his sides while levitating in front of him. Stupid braggart!
"Well, I could say I was sorry, but actually I'm not."
"Ya wanted to know it."
"Then how about you repeat it shortly?", he checked his Hook. Maybe he could just get rid of him by frightening him and wake up again. At least one thing was clear: this was not real!
Pan stopped floating and stood in front of him while repeating what he had said before in annoyance: "Milah didn't tell ya? Ya'll have kind of an adventure tonight and I'm the first one showing you around. Will be a bunch of work for me, if I look at ya."
Hook frowned: "What?"
"Well, I'm ya first ghost of christmas and I'm the past one because we haven't seen each other for so long."
That was enough! He turned around and headed to his cabin: "You know what? Disappear. I have no time for this!"
He hadn't made even a single step, when Pan appeared in front of him floating again: "Oh no. That won't be working."
"Fine than I'll just get rid of you.", he raised his hook but before he could hit him he had kind of a déjà vu. His Hook was gone before he could hurt the kid and when he finally looked up he found it in Pan's hands who started to play with it.
The kid chuckled: "Trying to kill a ghost? Man ya have a lot to learn!"
Hook rolled his eyes and sighed in disbelieve: "I'm dreaming so I should be able to do so."
Pan faced him in sorrow: "Oh no. T's not a dream. We've a lot to do until ya believe it, I guess."
"And what now?"
"Now we start with you loosing Milah."
He frowned in disbelieve: "I know what happened! I don't need to see this again!"
"Oh but ya do! It's where everything starts."
"I won't come along."
Pan leaned in with floated nearer till they were nose to nose and gave him a huge smile: "What makes ya believe ya'd any choose?"
With this words he grabbed Hooks shoulder.