A very Merry Christmas to Being a Wallflower! I hope you'll like this!

OS written for the Script Competition (Good Old Days), the Pairing Diversity Boot Camp Challenge(prompt salubrious), the Crayola Crayon and the Bertie Bott's Color Challenge (Crayola: Granite Grey- You must write about someone remodeling a kitchen for a funny reason) and the James/Lily Christmas Fest.

Good Old Days

"James. Do you really think I'll fall for that?" This phrase, along with the fiery-look-of-death (as it had been christened by Sirius) was enough to get said James sweating and trembling in his boots.

Behind him, something in the black and burned that may have once been a kitchen sparked, and James flinched as his wife's glared intensified – if such a thing was even possible. Why, oh why did this kept happening to him? He had only wanted to help…

"Well, James, I'm waiting. What did you really do? Because I'm sure as hell that this" wild gesture to the ruined room "isn't Sirius' fault! He's not even here!"

Yeah, Sirius, that traitor. He should have known that at the first sign of trouble – or of red hair – the man would leave him alone.

The idea had been simple. Lily and James, newly wed, were going to move into their new home. The house, an old cottage that belonged to James' family since a century or two, hadn't been used in quite few years, if not decades and so was in an urgent need of a thorough cleaning and maybe a few reorganizations.

However, when James had taken Lily there, she had immediately fallen in love with the small cottage and decided it would be the perfect home to their children. Since he would do absolutely anything for his beloved wife, James decided to restore it in secret and to give her the keys to their house when he was finished as a one-year anniversary gift (and to say that they had now been married for a year… It sure didn't feel like it. Time flew so quickly sometimes…).

However he quickly noticed that it wouldn't be as easy as he first thought it to restore the old cottage. For one, it hadn't been inhabited for years, so the whole electricity-thing his wife wanted obviously wasn't there (not that it could be found often in wizarding houses, but still… Often they had some kind of a lighting system) and even House Elves couldn't have helped with all the damages in the kitchen.

James had been able to clean the first floor quite easily, and he had just needed to repair a few broken pieces of furniture, but it had only taken him a few hours. He decided to let Lily choose what to do with the garden, since he knew she loved growing her own Potions ingredients, spices and vegetables, something she had learned from her mother.

He tried to work on this project a few hours each day, leaving work a bit early so he'd have more time. Fortunately, his boss was married too and he understood perfectly the need to keep his wife happy, plus James was still in training so there wasn't much he could do anyway. The deal was that he would just make more paperwork when the house was finished.

But anyway, the cottage was looking more and more with each day James worked on it, like the home Lily had seen and even James could now realize how nice it would be to live in there. That is, if only he could get the kitchen up-to-date, salubrious and working, of course.

Since he had already done the rest of the house alone, he thought it couldn't hurt to do the kitchen alone too. After all, he had magic to help him and he had already bought the necessary pieces of furniture. What could go wrong?

Ah! Famous last words. After having been electrocuted five times – something normally impossible since there was no electricity –, rained on – apparently one of his ancestors had been paranoid enough to create a special spell in case of fire. Except that in that case James had been using a small flame to see clearer – and nearly trampled by a horde of rats hidden behind a gigantic counter, James had admitted that maybe the kitchen was a bit too much for him alone.

Which was why he had called his brother to the rescue. Sirius, after he stopped laughing at James – you must admit that it was not every day one saw someone he considered like family arrive from the fireplace looking like a hobo or a survivor from a tempest. Especially when the day was sunny and hot, for once –accepted readily to help, even more eager to get to work when James mentioned that Lily wouldn't be happy if Sirius let her husband die trying to renovate a kitchen.

With Sirius' help, everything was easier and James thought the house would actually be finished by the end of the week-end. And it was. After quite a few disasters only narrowly avoided, one of which was dubbed 'the Sponge accident' and of which the two trouble-makers decided to never talk again, they managed miraculously to finish the kitchen alive and with all their members still attached – though it had been close for a few fingers. Sirius was sure the kitchen was possessed and James just thought it was evil.

The two breathless and scorched men – to be fair they sort of looked like they came from a warzone, a very active one in fact – took a moment to admire their masterpiece, both of them relying on the hard wood counter to keep them standing.

"You know, when you said that your kitchen was evil, I never thought it was actually a real case of a possessed kitchen."

"That just prove you should always believe me, Padfoot. After all, I am the best. And I managed to beat this evil kitchen!"

Seeing the Machiavellian glean in his best friend's eyes, Sirius couldn't help but have the fleeting thoughts that it may be James who had problems. This look was a little too evil to be normal… However, he had better things to do than worry that his best friend was going insane. They were all a (not so) little bit insane after all.

"You beat it? Excuse me? Do I need to remind you who had to do all the heavy-lifting and go behind that fridge because someone was too afraid of what might happen if he went?"

"Well, I was right. I was right not to go there. But I admit you might have helped. A bit."

"A bit?" Sirius looked like he was chocking "Do you want to see what those spiders did to me? I am now scarred forever! And it's your fault. What will the ladies say Prongs?"

James bit back a laugh as he answered. "Come on, I'm sure it's nothing"

Sirius took a step back and lifted his shirt. James' eyes widened and he gaped in surprise.

"Oh. I see. Wow, they really got you. I'm… sorry Sirius"

"Yeah well, you should be" Sirius groaned as he let his shirt fall back, not noticing that his friend's brown eyes were sparkling with barely controlled laughter.

Unfortunately, as absorbed as they were in their banter – and that was Sirius' fault, he was the one who had begun – they didn't noticed the small spark coming from under the stove. Unfortunately (again), Sirius decided that since the kitchen was ready, the least they could do was test it. After all, they were the one who restored it, plus it was lunch time.

Armed with his wand, the ex-heir of the Black family went to do pasta in one of the pans James had bought. That was when everything went to hell. The pasta actually exploded - after they caught on fire of course. While in the pan. In the water. That was a mystery James still wasn't anywhere near figuring out.

Of course the pasta-explosion spread the fire to the rest of the recently renovated kitchen, and before James had the time to do anything but gape at the disaster, Sirius had disappeared and his wife had appeared. Apparently she had wanted another look at their future house, to try and find what would need to be replaced.

"Well… Sirius was there. And he tried to make pasta. So really, all of this is his fault"

"You're telling me that Sirius somehow managed to make my kitchen explode while making the simplest dish on Earth? How is this even possible?!" Lily looked flabbergasted, and James really couldn't blame her. He, too, would never have thought a plate of pasta could explode (especially while underwater).

"I don't know" James answered, running a hand in his already ruffled hair, a sheepish look on his face.

"Hmm…" Apparently, the mystery of the exploding pasta had distracted Lily from her wrath toward the state of her kitchen. Her husband breathed in relief. Maybe he would escape this…

"That still doesn't explain what you were doing here James…" As she watched her husband gulp loudly and look around like a wild (and terrified) animal, she smirked internally. She knew exactly how to make him spill his secrets.

Meanwhile said husband felt like a little kid caught with the hand in the cookie jar. And he hadn't even done anything bad!

"Iwantedtosurpriseyoubyrenova tingthishouse" He muttered in a breath. Lily arched an eyebrow.

"What did you say?"

"I said I wanted to surprise you by renovating this house"

"Oh James… This is so sweet. Thank you! You shouldn't have" She smiled brightly and got on her toes to kiss him.

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?"

"Perhaps."

"Perhaps?"

"Well, you didn't expect me not to make you work a bit more for my pardon, did you?" The witch asked mischievously.

"Depends… What do you want me to do?" James asked lasciviously, kissing the base of her neck.

"Well, you could maybe make me visit our new house…" She said as she slipped away playfully.

"So you want to visit then?"

"Of course"

"Alright" And with that he gathered her up in his arms, ignoring her indignant squeals as he run outside.

"So, do you remember this little pond you saw when we visited? Well it actually belongs to the propriety…"

Her eyes widened in realization. "James… Don't you dare!"

"What? I am absolutely innocent. As innocent as…"

"James, put me down now!"

"Of course my lady" And he let her go. Of course, the fact that he was just in front of said pond made it so she fell in the cold water as he let her go.

"James! I hate you!"

"I love you too, honey. Now, come on, you shouldn't stay in the water, you'll catch a cold." He extended a hand and she took it. However, he didn't expect her to pull him inside the pond along with her instead of trying to get up. He let out a very (un)manly scream as he fell in the cold water.

"Damnit! It's cold!"

"What did you expect? For it to be hot maybe?"

"I'm not stupid"

"Could have fooled me"

And suddenly they shared a look and began to laugh. They couldn't stop, and under the sun of the middle of the afternoon, their laughter was the only sound to be heard.

Yes, they would just fit in there. And later, they could just look back on these days as the best of their lives.