Author: Kate Anderson
Email: sam_loves_jack@yahoo.ca
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine! They belong to Edward Allen Bernero and John Wells and um, some other people. No money is being made from this work. Don't sue, I have nothing you'd want.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Faith develops a rather unusual ability.
"Nice ass!"
Faith looked around, part of her hoping to find this marvelous bottom her partner had just spoken so highly of. A dog nearby had its head stuck into a trash can and Faith fervently hoped it wasn't the dog's ass he had been admiring. For all she knew, he could have been referring to himself. Not that she thought he had a nice ass.
"I'd love to get me some of that!"
Nope, definitely not talking about himself. The dog had shifted positions and had his? - Faith squinted - yup his, rear pointed directly at them. She looked around hoping desperately to locate a female, preferably human.
"Damn, that's fine!"
Faith finally had enough. She spun around and faced her partner. "Would you cut it out already?" Faith asked. "I can only take so much of your chauvinistic crap!"
Bosco looked perplexed. "What? I didn't say anything!"
Faith rolled her eyes. "Sure you didn't Bos."
She turned away from him again. The dog pulled its head from the trash can and snarled in their general direction before running down the alley.
"Geez, wonder who pissed in her cornflakes this morning. Maybe Fred couldn't get it up last night. Oh ewww, don't even think about Fred getting it up!"
Faith turned to look at Bosco, disbelief written all over her face. She opened her mouth to say something but then chose to ignore his rude comment and go back to doing whatever it was they were doing.
"Uh oh, she looked pissed. What did I do now?"
Faith pondered why it seemed that Bosco speaking as though she weren't there. It was as if he was suddenly unable to simply think things. There were a lot of things that Bosco couldn't do, she reasoned, but keeping an inner monologue wasn't one of them.
"I'm hungry."
Faith turned to Bosco and checked her watch. "We could probably call in for a dinner break now." she said.
Bosco smiled happily. "I was just thinking about that!" he said happily.
"She and I are so in tune sometimes it scares me!"
Faith stared at Bosco, wondering if he'd taken up ventriloquism as a new hobby. She'd definitely heard his voice, but his lips hadn't moved. Maybe she could use him as entertainment for Charlie's birthday party.
"Where do you want to eat?" Bosco asked. His lips were moving now.
Faith shrugged and accidentally dropped the keys on the ground. She bent over to pick them up.
"Oh yeah, definitely a nice ass!"
Faith's eyes practically ejected themselves from her skull. Didn't he realize she could hear him? She stood up and straightened her shirt. "Ummm, Chinese?" she asked.
Bosco grinned. "Chinese sounds perfect!" he said and hopped into the car. Faith opened the driver's door and got in.
"Call us in?" Faith said. Bosco activated his radio and they received permission to go 10-63.
______________
"This restaurant always smells like cat piss."
Faith had to laugh. "Is that something you smell often Bos?"
Bosco looked confused. "What?" he asked. "Is what something I smell often?"
"Cat piss. You just said that this restaurant always smells like cat piss!"
"No I didn't."
"Yes, you did!"
Faith stared at Bosco. He looked a bit worried as they sat down at a small table along the wall. Faith felt a bit worried herself.
"Oh man, I gotta take a leak."
Bosco shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Could you order me one of those sweet and sour combos with a coke? I gotta visit the little boy's room."
Faith nodded and Bosco took off down the hall. She placed their orders and soon Bosco returned looking much relieved.
"I wonder if she'll know that I didn't wash my hands."
Faith looked at Bosco with disgust, wondering why he felt he had to share that with her. She made a mental note not to let Bosco touch her food.
"The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain. The rine in Spine falls minely on the pline!"
Faith glanced over at Bosco who had what could only be described as a dopey grin on his face.
"You say potato, I say potahto!"
Faith decided that he must be practicing his ventriloquism again.
"Why does Faith keep looking at me? Is there something on my face? Is my fly done up? Oh wait, she couldn't know about that. Maybe my hair is sticking up funny?"
Faith furrowed her brow and watched as Bosco ran a hand over his hair.
_____________
"This sucks."
Faith, not having seen Bosco's lips move, kept her mouth shut.
"Faith keeps staring at me. Stop staring at me! It's startin' to creep me out!"
Faith jerked her head forward and pretended to be engrossed in watching the buildings pass by. She had, by this time, decided that Bos hadn't taken up ventriloquism. That meant two things. One, she'd have to find someone else for Charlie's party and two, she was somehow picking up Bosco's thoughts. To be honest, the second one was a bit more worrisome.
"I really shouldn't have had that fourth coke with dinner."
Faith snickered and then covered her mouth with her hand so Bosco wouldn't see her smile.
"I wonder if Faith knows she sounds like a donkey when she laughs."
Faith looked insulted but decided to humour him. "Hey Bos, you think we could stop off at a gas station or somethin'? I gotta pee."
Bosco rolled his eyes. "I swear to God, you must have a bladder the size of pea." he said out loud.
"Oh thank God, thank God!" was what Faith heard.
Bosco pulled into a gas station parking lot and shut off the car. "You waiting out here?" Faith asked. Bosco squirmed a bit.
"No, uh, actually, I think I'll come in." he said. "You know, might as well use the facilities while I'm here."
Faith nodded. "I'll lock my door then."
Bosco got out of the car and began to make his way towards the building. They grabbed the washroom keys and headed back outside and around the back to where the washrooms were. Faith didn't really have to go but as she shut herself in the room, she was relieved to find out that Bosco's thoughts stopped broadcasting. She really didn't need to know what he thought about while taking a piss.
When Faith stepped out of the bathroom she found Bosco waiting outside the door. "I hope she'll think it's just water."
Faith glanced down and noticed a medium sized wet spot on Bosco's thigh. "Get a little wild with the tap in there Bos?" she asked.
"Uh yeah, that thing was spraying in all directions." he replied.
Faith snorted and hurried back towards the main gas station door to return her key.
_____________
"Wow, she really looks nice in the moonlight."
Faith smiled to herself. She didn't mind hearing Bosco's thoughts as long as they were complimentary.
"I wish she'd let her hair down more often."
Faith had resigned herself hours ago to knowing that it appeared that Bosco had a bit of a crush on her. Then she'd resigned herself to knowing that she was talking like Emily. Since when did she use the word crush?
"I don't think we're gonna find this guy Bos." Faith said, referring to the guy they had been chasing after he knocked down an old lady and took her purse.
Bosco shone his flashlight into the back of a cargo van. "Probably not." he said. "Shift's almost over anyway."
"You wanna head in?"
Bosco nodded. "Sure beats standing around out here looking for some guy who could be over in Queens by now."
Faith holstered her nightstick and shut off her flashlight. The RMP was parked a couple blocks over and they walked that distance in silence. Well, silence as far as anyone else was concerned. Bosco's mind was going a mile a minute.
"I need new shoes."
"Wonder if Davis is up for a trip to the bar tonight."
"Wonder if Davis is still banging Taylor."
"Maybe Faith wants to go?"
They reached the car and Faith tossed Bosco the keys. "You can drive." she said. "My eyes don't feel up to it right now."
Bosco caught the keys. "Did Faith hurt her eyes? She never said anything before!" Bosco looked over at Faith with a concerned expression on his face.
"It's nothing Bos." Faith said. "Don't worry about it. It's just a headache." From listening to you all day, she added silently.
"You're probably not up for a trip to the bar tonight then are you." Bosco said.
Faith shook her head. "No thanks, I think I'll pass. Maybe Davis or Sully will go."
"Sully?"
"Sure, why not Sully?"
Bosco sighed. "That guy, he's just a total chick deterrent or something."
Faith laughed. "Chick deterrent? He's not that bad!"
Bosco started the car and turned on the headlights. "Not that bad?"
Faith shrugged. "He's a nice guy." she said. Bosco scoffed and shifted the car to drive.
"She finds Sully attractive? First Fred and now Sully? What does she see in those guys?"
Faith buried her head in her hands hoping to drown Bosco out. It didn't work. "Do you mind if I turn on the radio?" she asked.
"I thought you had a headache? You want to listen to music?"
"Nothing loud, maybe just a nice easy listening station."
"Sure, go ahead." Bosco said. "It just better not be Elton John or anything because otherwise, you're walking."
Faith scanned through the channels and settled on one with nice acoustic music. She could still hear Bosco, but at least there was something else to concentrate on now. Whatever strange thing had happened to cause her to be reading Bosco's mind, Faith hoped that a good night's rest would reverse it.
"Faith looks really exhausted. Maybe I'll offer to give her a ride home."
Nooooo! Faith wanted to scream out. She was more than happy to go home alone, on the subway like she usually did. At least then she wouldn't have to listen to Bosco.
Bosco pulled the squad into a parking space outside the precinct. He and Faith grabbed their various personal articles and headed inside. Sully and Davis were already in and heading for the locker room.
"You look beat Faith." Bosco said quietly as he and Faith turned in their radios. "Want me to give you a ride home?"
Faith shook her head. "And deprive you of all those hot chicks? I'll be fine on my own."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
Bosco shrugged. "Something's definitely up with Faith. Or maybe not up with Fred. Oh eww! Stop thinking about that!"
Faith sighed and headed for the locker room. Bosco followed her, still berating himself for thinking about Fred again. Sully and Davis were already in their civvies. Davis was just buttoning up his shirt.
"Davis!" Bosco called out. Ty looked up and nodded at Bosco. "You up for the bar tonight?"
"I don't think so man. There's something I gotta take care of at home."
Sully glanced over in Bosco's direction. "I wouldn't mind a beer or two." he said.
Bosco threw his jacket into his locker. "Don't you have a wife at home Sul?" he asked. Faith could hear him practically screaming in his mind.
"Tatiana's out of town for a few days." Sully replied. "Nothing at home but my tv set."
"Great." Bosco said, his lack of enthusiasm duly noted, by Faith at least.
"I'm outta here." Davis said. "Have fun tonight you two!"
Faith pulled her blouse from her locker and put it on. Bosco was debating with himself whether or not to suddenly come down the flu. Faith imagined an angel Bosco sitting one shoulder and a devil Bosco sitting on the other. In the end, the angel Bosco won out and Bosco grudgingly left for the bar with Sully in tow.
_____________
Faith sat on the subway, staring intently at her fellow passengers. She didn't understand it. Why could she hear Bosco's thoughts but no one else's? The man on her left coughed and flipped a page in his book.
She wondered if she'd be able to hear Fred's thoughts. Maybe it would only work with people she was close to. Not that she really wanted to know what Fred was thinking, but it could help explain a few things.
Her stop came up and Faith exited the train, keeping a close eye on her surroundings. There was a young woman who got off and an older man, who looked as though he could be a stockbroker or have some other high stress career. His suit was wrinkled and he looked ready to collapse right then and there in the station. Faith hurried along, wanting to get away from him before he did collapse and she'd be forced to help him.
It was a short walk to her apartment and Faith arrived home shortly before midnight. She unlocked the door and found Fred sitting on the couch, staring at the television set. She held her breath and listened. Either Fred wasn't thinking anything, which was highly unlikely, or it was only Bosco.
"Hey babe." Fred said, finally noticing that his wife was home. "How was your day?"
"Fine." Faith said and shrugged noncommittally. "I have a headache, I'm going to bed."
Fred mumbled something that Faith couldn't make out and turned his gaze back towards the tv. He appeared to be watching infomercials. Faith hoped that in 6 to 8 weeks she wouldn't be receiving knives, ab-rollers and hair removal cream in the mail.
After brushing her teeth, Faith collapsed on the bed. All she wanted to do was get some sleep and wake up the next morning, preferably without her new ability. She wasn't sure that she could put up with another day of Bosco's thoughts assaulting her mind.
She pulled the covers up, over her head and closed her eyes. When Fred joined her in bed an hour later, Faith didn't even move.