Take My Heart Away
by Amithyst Blade
PG-13
Romance/Angst
Note: 'Take my heart away' is a song recorded by JAKE, a trio of Canadian brothers who don't look nor sing all that bad. J
Storyline: What if Ta'a Chume had not been there to spoil Jaina and Jag's little escape?
"Don't worry baby
I won't go away
Can't you feel it in the way that I tell you
That I'm here to say
Don't worry darling
It ain't no lie
Can't you tell by the way that I love you
Love is so alive"
_____
The hall of the Ithorian palace was completely empty, except for the two mischievous pilots who both managed to sneak out of the formal banquet without notice and made their way into a secluded spot in the gardens. Both were grinning from ear to ear like two children about to eat a chocolate treat before dinner.
With his free hand, Jagged Fel lifted it up to her face gently caressing Jaina Solo's soft skin, which was unveiled by the moonlight.
His touch sent shivers of bliss down her spine. Jaina could see the sparkle in his eyes, but prayed he couldn't hear her heart beating so ferociously out of her chest underneath the scarlet gown she wore.
"So where did you say that trophy room was?" Jag allowed his words to slid off his tongue smoothly as ever, but this time let his eagerness fall in them. Did Jaina honestly realize how much his pulse was raging with her so near and close to his body?
Looking up into his green eyes, she smiled openly giving him a knowing ruse of false innocence. "For some reason, the direction to its location evades my memory."
Brushing back a fallen strand of her beautifully done auburn gold hair, Jag
tucked it behind her ear. "Maybe this will help jog your memory a bit." Without
hesitation, the colonel leaned down and kissed her gently, tolerating his lips
to hang on her soft ones for only a few seconds, and then pulled apart. "Did
that help any?"
"It sparked something." Jaina breathed out as her both her eyes and cheeks beamed with a life that Jag had noticed from her only one time before this.
"Hmm… something? Maybe we're going about finding it all wrong."
She disagreed, unused to this sort of thing with anyone but everything seemed to be coming gracefully from her. "Maybe we just weren't looking hard enough." She suggested.
Raising one of his eyebrows at the invitation, Jag smiled that smile of his and hovered his lips inches away from hers as he spoke. "Then what are we waiting for."
With that, he pressed his lips passionately on hers. Snaking his arm around her waist, he pulled her closer to him and deeper into the intimacy they shared. For the first time in months did peace and excitement pass over their hearts.
Only until he kissed her again did he realize how wrong he had been.
_____
I won't take my heart away
Baby I am here to stay
Only want to hear you say
Hear you say
You love me
Don't take your heart away
Tell me everything's ok
Only want you here beside me
_____
It seemed like hours before either of them dared to pull apart, but both needed air.
As she regained her breath and composure, Jaina saw her markings on his face and couldn't help but stifle a laugh.
"What?" Jag asked. He awkwardly felt as if he had done something totally wrong though he couldn't remember what he did. "Did I do something wrong?"
Jaina could only shake her head and cover her mouth from bursting into laughter. If only she had a mirror.
"What is it?"
Lifting up her hand she smiled in humor, and grasped his hand, unable to put to words what was written all over his face. Just as she was about to speak, another voice startled the two pilots.
"It seems as if someone left a few little surprises for you inside that trophy room." The stranger explained noting the lipstick mess on his face.
Spinning frantically around, never in all her life had Jaina felt so invaded. Hurt and betrayal filled her eyes. Once had been enough from the man, but twice… marching towards the stalker, Jaina kept her feelings shielded from Kyp.
"Why you arrogant-ewok-sucking-Hutt-screwing-nerf herder!?!" she screamed in his face.
Kyp made no move at her comment, but the faint line of his half cocky smile began to form at the corners of his mouth. "You look so cute when you someone tempers you in the slightest."
"You were spying on us!"
"I would never spy on someone intentionally. It's not my fault that you two were burning through the Force like a super nova." Kyp retorted. He noticed that a red blush began to take form on the younger Jedi's face. This caused him to grin. "Besides that, you're face is turning the color of that slimming gown you have on. Not that you needed it to show that shapely figure of yours."
Shock paralleled Jaina's face as much as it did Kyp's. He couldn't believe what he just told her. "W-what?" she gapped. Was she dreaming? Or did Kyp just give her a compliment. Jaina could feel Jag come up behind her but she didn't turn to face him. "Did you just give me a compliment?"
Feeling totally out of place, Kyp never in his life would have imagined Jaina be the one making him feel so nervous. Trying to cover up, he shrugged. "It would seem so, now wouldn't it?" Kyp felt her cinnamon honey eyes widen in surprise even more than they had ever been.
He had told the truth. The backless cut ruby dress clung closely to her body. Four ribbons intricately weaved themselves around her waist to her smooth bare back to hold the dress up in place. But the gown wasn't the only thing making his emotions go haywire, it was her face. A little makeup had been applied to her beautiful features, enhancing everything to make her look like a goddess.
Suddenly, he realized his mind wasn't the only thing that was surveying her. Kyp jerked his head to the side and remembered why he had come. "Listen, I needed to find you two and tell you…" His voice went low and Kyp couldn't say it. Why was it always he who had to go and tell her the worse cause scenario realities?
"Tell us what?" For the first time Jag had spoken.
"Anakin's funeral is going to start in an hour. Just thought I'd tell you." With that, he stalked out of the garden, hiding the tears that threatened to come out of his eyes.
***
Anger burned deep inside Jaina's heart. Of all the possible timing, Kyp had too…
No, she reminded herself. He was spying on me, just using my brother as an excuse. The nerfherder! He doesn't care about my feelings. He never will. Her hands began to itch, this time not to slap the Jedi Master but to use the Force on him, but took in a deep breath and thought better not too.
"Are you ok?" Jag's voice questioned affectionately. She had been lost in her fury at Kyp and forgotten Jag was still with her.
Turning around Jag's hand instantly fled to her cheeks. "Jaina, you're crying." His thumb began wiping away the tears. Concern flashed on his handsome face. "Come here, I'll take you."
Without any hesitation, Jaina let Jag wrap his arm around her bare shoulders they walked in silence to a speeder and neither said anything during the drive. Jaina didn't move from the seat once they had stopped. Jag saw her shaking uncontrollably, and took off his jacket and laid it on her shoulders. Jaina turned to look at Jag and smiled with her bloodshot eyes. "Thanks."
Climbing out of the speeder, he helped her out and never left her side as they approached the circle of family and friends. No one spoke for the longest time, but after they all had paid their respects, Luke Skywalker took a torch and lit Anakin's body.
Throughout the entire funeral, Jaina was beginning to think she was going to make it through when her knees suddenly buckled underneath her. Tears streamed down her face and her sobs seemed to numb her grief for her little brother, but when she would stop, the pain would only come back again.
Why, Anakin? Why? Jaina cried. Two arms wrapped themselves around her body. The presence stroked her hair back holding her tighter to his body as if she was going to break if he let go.
***
It seemed like hours till Jaina's sobs slowly diminished and she collapsed into unconciousness. Kyp held the sleeping woman in his arms for a few minutes longer till he knew for sure she was sleeping.
Everyone else had left for bed long ago, and Jag was forced to leave the weeping Jaina with him cause that Chiss gal of his called about something pertaining to a Barron and Wedge Antilles.
Kyp shuddered at the name. Wedge never liked him, and supposed he never would.
Gazing down at Jaina, his heart began to break again. Never in all Kyp's life had his heart shattered when he saw her crying for her brother. For Anakin.
During the funeral, he had rushed to her side barely as her knees hit the ground. At the time, he didn't realize what he was doing and now he looked back on the fact and wondered what everyone thought of him. Death did crazy things to people. Maybe that's what the rest were thinking about him. That he was only doing this because Anakin's death.
They were only partially right if they were thinking that about him. What did that Chiss leader think of him? Jagged Fel? Kyp would probably never know.
Still stroking Jaina's shoulder length cinnamon hair back, Kyp stopped and looked up at the starry night sky.
Up there, somewhere, he could feel Anakin look down at him and his oldest sister and began to speculate what he was thinking about all this. About his feelings towards his sister.
"What?" Kyp spoke to the floating presence. He couldn't see the deceased Jedi, but knew he was there. "What did you expect me to do? Just leave her there crying for you?" He paused. "You would have been a great Jedi, Anakin."
Something suddenly rustled inside the older Jedi's soul. Watch over her for me, the forbidden voice echoed inside him. Then there was nothing.
Studying the nineteen-year old's fair face, Kyp smirked. "You'd think I'd let this creature outside a meter's distant from my own body? You think I ever have?" he paused, "I'll watch over her. I promise."
With that, Kyp lifted Jaina in his arms and began to take her to his speeder.
_____
Listen to me baby
I've got to let you know
Can't you tell by the way that I hold you
Never let you go
Let me tell you darling
This love will survive
Can't you feel it when I say I love you
That it feels right
_____
A kind hand began to rub her sleeping arm gently back to life. The touch of another being in her room startled her, but Jaina didn't resist its relaxing massage. Her grief took too much out of her for Jaina to even move her eyelids.
She tried to recollect what had happened the night before. She had been with Jag last she remembered but it just didn't seem like him to…
Her heart suddenly began to pound furiously.
Just around then, he leaned close to her cheek and in a soft comforting voice began to hum a melody into her ear. At first, Jaina wanted to jolt from him but instead stayed where she was, listening contently to the song he sang her.
It took a moment for Jaina to place the tune. She could feel her eyes water underneath her closed eyelids.
Why is he doing this? she asked herself. It wasn't like anyone to be so caring, in this sort of way, to her.
Then all of it disappeared.
The tune, the feeling… him.
Her eyes flew open and Jaina turned over on her side and neither saw nor felt another presence in the room. Everything seemed to swirl for a moment. Had she just been dreaming? No, she was certain that she had felt someone, felt him.
It hadn't been a dream. Dreams don't leave behind imprints on the bed. She told herself.
Slowly, Jaina got off the bed and nearly found herself on the ground as her legs got tangled up in the satin gown and a cape.
Regaining her balance, Jaina lifted up the black cloak, recognizing it instantly.
Suddenly, a soft knocking came from the door.
Jag! Jaina's heart accelerated. Where was she going to hide Kyp's cape? She could not just have him walk in a see her holding it.
Thinking quick, she stuffed it under the bed and hurried to go open the door.
"Hey, Jaina… did I wake you?"
For the first time since her eyes flew open, she felt a yawn come to her. "No not really. Umm.. you want to come in?"
Jag shook his head declining. "No, I can't. I need to do a few things this morning." Reaching out, he caressed her cheek. "I just came by to tell you thanks for the other night."
His lips landed on hers and she felt a jolt of warmth enter her. When they parted, he gave her that beautiful smile of his. "I better go get dressed. I have something to do too."
"Later Jaina." With that, he strolled down the hall.
She shut the door and
raced to grab the menacing black cape. Her heart flared with anger. If Kyp
thought he could threaten her with this stupid cloak, or even thought about
breaking her and Jag
apart, he was wrong.
He was so wrong.
***
"How does it look, Zero-One?" Kyp asked his droid. They were both fixing his ship. He had taken a few bad hits while trying to bring in the Yuuzhan Vong skip Jaina had been on, down to the surface. With Anakin's funeral and all, there had been no time to fix the damages, and he sure as heck did not want anyone touching his XJX-wing anytime soon.
He head a few faint confirmation beeps. "Say that again? I didn't quite catch that." He called out from under his ship.
"He said that the ship looks fine, but after I get threw with you, not even Jedi Master Skywalker will recognize you through the Force."
Kyp jumped out from under his ship, prepared to vape whomever uttered the very words, but caught himself short when he saw who had spoken them. "Jaina?"
"Who did you expect?"
Running his fingers through his hair, he tried to brush away the shock. Kyp could already feel his hair was greasy and grimy. "Not you, obviously."
She ignored his last comment and threw something in his face. "Next time, you pick up your own dirty clothes."
Yanking off the black garment off his face, Kyp had to pull it away from him to get a better look at it. "Where did y—" then he remembered. When he heard no smart comeback, Kyp saw Jaina's figure stomp off.
An insistent beeping came behind him. "I'll be right back Zero-One…" his voice trailed off.
He began to follow Jaina as he put on his cape. It was soon securely fastened and he noticed that she was just about to lose him in the hypo-lift.
Rushing over to the door, he stopped the door from swishing shut, putting his hand between it and the lock. The emergency lock came on and he slipped into the hold with her. The lift continued to close leaving the two alone.
It did not take a Jedi Knight to know Jaina was mad, only to see her not facing him.
"Stop following me Durron!" she ordered.
He didn't know what to say, only stood in silence waiting for her to look at him.
Just as the lift was almost halfway up when it jolted to a stop, causing Jaina to fall into Kyp's arms.
A cocky smile crossed his face. "Well, I don't know how you managed to get us here like this, but I think I'm already liking it."
She balanced herself back onto her feet and turned towards the Jedi Master in anger. "ME? I did this?" Jaina's voice raised continually as being condemned that she would even desire to have the thought even cross her mind.
"Yes, you."
"You're the one who walked in here. You're the one who snuck into my room while I was sleeping!" she accused.
Shock filled Kyp's face along with that cocky smile of his. "You think, I honestly broke into your room last night?"
"You did!"
"No, I didn't!"
Jaina frowned at him. "Then why was your cloak on m…" She paused as the thought troubled her mind. Rage over took her as well as embarrassment. "Why you Hutt-vaping-Vong! You didn't—"
He took a step towards her and her speaking decreased. He could see her uneasiness of him being so close to her. Her breathing accelerated and her composure was on the edge of breaking apart. As he reached out towards her face, Kyp noticed she was not the only one who was shaking.
"You're right, I didn't. I would never try to get my way with you, Jaina. At least not when you're sleeping." His touch stroked her cheek and brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen during the heat of her anger.
Jaina felt faint. Her brown eyes locked in his fatal green ones. "Why are you doing this?" Her anger was now replaced by uncertainty, something that Kyp never even knew she could possess.
Kyp did not answer right away. Just continued to brush back her hair and stare. "To find out where my heart might lead me."
"That still gives you no right to enter my room."
"I'm so sure you would have loved to wake up in my rooms." Kyp retorted. "It would have delighted me."
The anger returned. "What are you talking about?" His arms enclosed themselves around her and through the Force, he sent a vivid image of the past to her, and her eyes were filled with the night before.
Jag had been standing right next to her when her knees suddenly gave out under her, but he hadn't been the one to catch her. Kyp was standing not far way. And the realization shocked through her body.
It had been his arms that had held her close. His hands that had stroked her hair. His shoulder she had cried on.
Shaking back into reality, she struggled out of his hold to the far end of the lift. Keeping her eyes away from him as tears escaped from her eyes.
"Jaina…" he began. The lift suddenly jerked back to life and intimidated Kyp from speaking again.
Quickly, door swished open and Jaina managed to dash out away from him and down the hall.
***
Lowie watched Jaina hurry down the marble stairs to the Yuuzhan Vong skip he had already begun working on and was startled. Even from a distance, the Wookie could discern the redness in her eyes. It was saddening to see his closest friend crying, but at the same time a relief.
Jaina was not the sort of person to cry out over the little things. He saw her run inside the skip without saying hello. Lowie did not need the Force to tell him she needed time alone. Nor did he need it to see that whatever was causing her so much grief, was something deeper than just a physical pain.
Taking a deep breath, Lowie continued messing with the skips port, trying to figure out how it worked.
***
Jaina tightened her grip on the hypo-tool inside the panel, which was really a elbow deep hole that she could not quite figure out how to work. She had been trying to force the creature to open one of the valve doors to the other part of the skip when suddenly something painful struck her skin inside the hole.
She screamed in agony, doing her best not to cry. She was so sick of crying.
Faintly, she could hear Lowie rushing behind her. He roared something and tried to help her out of the hole, but it was no use.
Lowie whispered something into her ear about getting help before another surge of shock spiraled up her arm. A warmth began to fill the hole and Jaina had a foreboding feeling it was her blood. She could feel it drain from her body into the hole and see it drip onto the cold floor.
All she could do was stare at the red liquid flowing out before her. Jaina had not realized that screams were coming from her lips without her permission until another voice entered the back of her mind accompanied by Lowbacca's. The other being dropped down next to her as Lowie growled an order for her to close her eyes.
Jaina did not argue. She closed her eyes and felt the Wookie's Force presence embrace her, carrying her away from the pain. Then slowly, he brought her back into the present and found herself lying on the ground. Looking up she saw whom Lowie had gotten to help and felt ready to Force-slap her best friend to Tatoonie.
But neither noticed the anger that flooded from her. The both seemed entirely too concerned with something else. Kyp looked almost pale, but seemed focused and in concentration.
***
"Do you have that bacta gel?" Kyp's question was spoken rather as order but the Wookie responded nevertheless.
Lowbacca roared yes, and handed him the tube and a patch as well.
Kyp nodded in gratitude towards Lowbacca. He knew the Wookie was not fond of the Jedi Master, but the fact was of no concern to him at this point and time. His eyes and mind were determined not to become distracted by anything.
Using the Force as a guide, the Jedi Master managed to stop the blood flow and covered the gash with a light film of the gel. Kyp felt his heart twinge when Jaina whimpered in pain from his touch, but continued to put the gel on. When that was finished, he laid the bacta strip on the gash and waited patiently as it fused to her skin.
He sighed in relief. There was a few spines sticking out from her elbow, but he was glad that the major artery that had been punctured had stopped bleeding and was under control.
"Lowbacca, I need you to go get Jag." The Jedi Master remarked as he continued with her wounds.
He barked defensively at Kyp.
"Fine don't do it for me… do it for Jaina."
Lowbacca grumbled.
"You aren't needed here, that's why." Kyp replied in frustration.
The Wookie jumped off his feet and ran out of the skip leaving Kyp to figure out how to extract the spines in Jaina's arm. A low growl echoed throughout the creature.
Lifting his eyes of the comatose Jedi for the first time, Kyp eyed Lowbacca with contempt. Something he knew he would soon regret in the near future. "I don't know where he is! Use the Force to find him. I'm busy with the wounded here. Now may I have some peace and quiet?" Kyp added in agitation.
The Wookie grumbled a few choice comments as he left, but the Jedi Master was not in the mood to be making more smart comebacks.
He glanced back down at Jaina's arm. It was swelling up around the spines. Using the Force, he felt his way around and discovered the spines not to be spines at all, but a living bug of some sort. Taking a deep breath, he prayed Jaina was in a deep enough comatose state not to feel anything. The sight was hurtful in itself.
"Sith-spawn…"
Kyp looked up in shocked to hear the familiar voice so soon. "Well, technically she is…" he joked lightly trying to lighten the outlook of the injury.
Jag was already at her side before he could continue. One of his hands brushed her hair back out of her face, while the other grasped her hand.
"What happened?" the words came out almost systematically as a droid my proclaim them. He knew it was entirely the opposite.
"I don't know exactly, but her arm was locked inside that hole over there. But that hardly matters at this point and time."
Jag nodded incoherently. "Let's get her out of here." Without another word, he picked up Jaina in his arms, Kyp handling the wounded arm with care. When they came out of the skip Lowbacca already had retrieved the royal medics. Before them was a hover gurney to take her over to the medical level for aid.
***
Kyp leaned against the door jam of the waiting room. He contently watched in amusement as Jagged Fel paced the room like a caged animal. Lowbacca, on the other hand, sat in a seat across the room doing his best not to show his emotions, or allow his feelings to be secreted through the Force.
Releasing a grin, the Jedi Master tried to break the silence with conversation.
"So what was so important last night?" Obviously, the question caught the Chiss pilot by surprise.
Jag had nearly tripped over his own two feet as he spun around to face the Jedi Master. "What?"
"Do I need to rephrase myself?"
He took a few steps towards Kyp, eyeing him down with his hard-set eyes. "I think you should, because honestly, I don't know what you are talking about."
Crossing his arms, Kyp kept his composure calm under the younger man's glare. "You should." Again, Jag advanced in slow yet accurately imitating steps, acting once again much older than he should. Kyp relaxed. He had nothing to fear from this guy. "I know you would not have left Jaina with me unless it was important. So what was it?"
"It is none of your business." Jag remarked. "And if I were you, I'd keep your nose out of other people's things."
An insistent growl broke the tension between the two males. Both men turned to see Lowbacca gesturing over to a nurse.
When the two finally strolled over to join the conversation they listened quietly to the woman explain Jaina's condition to them.
"When can we go see her?" the words flew out of Kyp's mouth before realized what he had said.
"Let me go check." She scurried off and came back almost instantly. "She's awake at the moment, but said she wanted to see Lowbacca first." She paused. "I presume since you three have stayed here waiting for over the past twenty-four hours, that you three are close friends."
Both Jag and Kyp opened their mouths to protest, but Lowbacca cut them off. He growled an acknowledgement and left in haste leaving the other two behind to go see Jaina.
***
It seemed like hours before Lowbacca came back from his visit. Neither Kyp nor Jag moved from their seats as his tall hairy form entered the waiting area. Both of them knew Jaina would allow no one to visit her unless called. And she would call them each when she was ready.
At least that's what they were hoping for.
Lowie finally growled at Jag and his head snapped up from his locked stare at the ground.
She wanted to see him, Lowie told him.
Jag blinked back in surprise and jumped to his feet, nearly sprinting in to a mad dash out of the room, but did his best to compose himself. Once his feet left the room though, he continued his jog.
***
The drone hum of machines filled the room, creating a desolate and isolated feeling inside Jaina's heart. Not far away he could see a figure lying in the bed. The room had been darkened, but only a bit so not to cause further pain to her eyes. She hated the fact she was here at all. Her memory of what had happened was dim. The last thing she could remember was a thousand sharp pains jabbing her arm then darkness swelling her vision.
Lowie had explained very little during his visitation. He did, however, keep going on and on, on how he was glad she was still alive and that she was all right.
Jaina was glad too, but her questions were still left unanswered.
Before he had left he had told her Jag was out in the waiting room. His name leaped into her throat once it slipped from the Wookie's lips. She asked Lowie if he could come in. She needed someone.
Someone who could take her mind off what Kyp had told her. That memory still burned in her mind and she wanted to put it out. She needed too. There was no way in Kessel that she…
Her thoughts were interrupted by the soft whoosh of the door opening then shutting again.
His quiet yet accurately timed footsteps comforted Jaina's upset mind. With her eyes still closed, a hand brushed across her forehead gently. It was cool, but sent her hormones ablaze. She did not open her eye immediately, but when she did, she saw him smile.
"How are you feeling?" his voice was full of compassion and sincerity, totally unlike his seriously grim demeanor before.
"My arm feels like it just got pulled out of its socket, smashed into a million pieces, and on fire… but besides that I'm ok." She paused. "Sometimes it hurts to breath though." A smile passed across her face. "Lowie said that you helped get me there before it was too late. Thanks."
A pain crossed Jag's face. Jaina looked up and saw an internal debate going on inside the other pilot's head, but said nothing. Waiting for him to speak first.
"Jaina…"
"Yeah?"
"I wasn't… I'm not the one who saved your life."
The Jedi Knight blinked back in shock. "You're telling me Lowie lied to me? My best friend?"
"No!" Jag defended. "No, Lowbacca was not lying at all. I did help, but only help."
Jaina frowned at him and shook her head in confusion. "Jag, you are putting words together and their making no sense. Just say it!" She was not the type to play word games, and that's all she had been getting out of Lowie.
Grabbing her uninjured hand, Jag bit his bottom lip in thought, keeping his eyes well distanced from hers. Her heart trembled, afraid of what he might say, but it was not fear that startled her the worst, but pride.
***
Now it was Kyp who was pacing the room. Lowbacca still sat contently in his seat, but this time he was laughing. Trying not to fall out of his seat from the hysteria.
"What?" Kyp demanded. This whole thing was quite embarrassing. Ever since Jag had left the room, Lowbacca found it in himself to laugh. It had only taken Kyp a few moments to comprehend that he was laughing at him. "What's you're problem?"
Lowbacca managed to growl something at Kyp about him falling for Jaina in between laughs.
"So what if I have?" Kyp replied in a harsh daring tone.
Obviously, the comment had been meant to tick the Jedi Master off, not a serious question.
Lowbacca jumped to his feet and quickly quieted his laughing, charging at the other. With his huge furry arms, he shoved the man into the wall. He barked a warning in Kyp's face causing him to shudder, but he refused to show it.
The Wookie pulled back and sat back down in his seat, this time eyeing Kyp's every move.
Slowly, Kyp walked away from the wall. "I'm going to go get a drink."
He was out the door before the Wookie realized that the last thing on the Jedi Master's mind was thirst.
***
Jag paused taking a deep breath before he continued with what he was going to say. Tightening his grip on her hand, Jag made up his mind. "Um… well, you see… I didn't exactly—see I wasn't the one who…"
"Jag, JUST SAY IT!"
Under his breath he muttered, "It was Durron."
Neither spoke, both hesitant to break the silence.
"Jaina?" Jag repeated himself. "Did you hear me?"
At that instant she went into a fit of laughter but was quickly reminded by her body as a pain up her arm.
"Jaina, are you ok?"
"I'm sorry… I could have swore you said Durron."
Jag kept his face expressionless. "I wasn't joking."
"You think your gonna fool me with that sort of space talk? After what he did to me?" She grinned at him in amusement. "You know what Jag, even I could have pull off a better gag than that."
"Jaina, I'm serious."
Jaina blinked in shock. "H-he saved me?" Jaina finally responded, still shocked making sure she was hearing what he had said correctly.
"Lowie couldn't find anyone else at the time, but… yes. Kyp also had been the one to ask Lowbacca to call for me."
***
He had been leaning against the door jam, listening in on Jaina and Jag. Kyp nearly choked when he heard Jag back him up in defense. His head began to spin, now in total confusion.
What is he trying to do? Kyp thought. Just minutes before when they had been in the waiting room ready to attack each other for what it was worth, and now… Jag Fel was backing him up.
Stepping back, the Jedi Master backed away from the door as Jagged Fel strolled out and glanced at him. His face showed sympathy.
"She told me you'd be out here." He gave a little jerk with his head to indicate she was waiting for him in the room. "Good luck."
"Like you want me to have it," Kyp retorted in semi amusement.
Jag shrugged. "True, but I feel bad for anyone who has to deal with the wrath of a Solo." The younger man strode off before Kyp could say anything.
Taking a deep breath, Kyp prepared himself for the worst. Then again, how could he. This was Jaina they were talking about here. She was a Solo and he was never certain what she was going to do to him.
So much had happened before the incident, and he was not sure if he was capable of explaining all of it to her. He had been trying while waiting to see her, to figure out something to tell her. Lies were not going to get him anywhere but more trouble, and in his heart, Kyp did not think he could lie to Jaina again. She needed the truth. She deserved it.
Using all the strength he had inside of him, Kyp stepped into her recovery room and shut the door quietly.
It was quiet in the room, but inside his heart was anything but that. Stirring with uncertainly, Kyp continued towards the side of her bed. Someone had opened the blinds slightly allowing the new morning light to filter onto her soft features. Eyes still closed, she looked like an angel in his eyes. His heart fell. She never would be his angel though. Doing his best, he gave Jaina a half smile as she tilted her head slightly at his presence.
Silence hovered between them. He looked into her beautiful brown eyes, which were spotted with golden rays. Kyp could feel the confusion and unrest in her.
Swallowing, Kyp reached out and kindly brushed some fly away hairs from her eyes.
"Thank you," Jaina managed to breath out. Underneath his palm, he could sense the tremor in her.
He nodded and continued to study her face. He understood how hard it had been to let out the gratitude and decided not to push it with words. Silence was fine. Kyp usually would not have preferred it, but right now it was his salvation. He was not ready to tell her anything, but felt the necessity.
He watched her blush when she realized he was looking at her differently. A smile surpassed his face. "Shy, are we?"
Jaina opened her mouth to speak out of wit, but something caught in her throat. She could not speak. Emotions were building up inside her like a wildfire. She felt sick. This was not how it was suppose to be. Quickly, she tore her eyes from his and looked away from him.
Her heart was betraying her. Why? She did not love this man, she loved Jag. He loved her.
Something smoothed against her cheek. Again she could feel the shaking her body was giving into. Stop it! she yelled at herself. It did no good. The tears were already beginning to fall.
_____
I won't take my heart away
Baby I am here to stay
Only want to hear you say
Hear you say
You love me
Don't take your heart away
Tell me everything's okOnly want you here beside me
_____
Jaina could not stop the tears from falling, even with the Force as her aid. They only continued to swarm down her pale face.
Why had she let him in, in the first place? Jaina now regretted letting him enter the room. She hoped he would leave her to her tears, be the insensitive person he always had been and get out of her heart, but he did not.
Softly, Jaina felt him stir in the seat beside her bed.
"I'm sorry." His words stung the silence, but not as much as it did her heart.
Still choked up with her tears, her voice cracked in surprise. "W-what? What do you have to be sorry about?"
"Everything." Kyp answered referring to the past.
"Yeah, well… thanks but it's kind of late for apologies."
"I'm asking you're forgiveness, Jaina."
"And I'm asking myself why in the universe would a Vong-vaping-scum like you be asking me this." She paused and opened her eyes and turned to look at him with her tear stained cheeks still moisten from the pain. "You've always been on your own, not caring what or who got hurt in the process. Now you are asking for mercy? Why?"
For the first time, he did not respond so quickly to her questions. In fact, Jaina was shocked to discover he did not answer her at all.
"Kyp?"
"I love you."
The three words caught Jaina off guard she found herself growing incredibly dizzy, but she kept her voice steady as she spoke.
"Love isn't selfish. Do you even know what your heart wants?"
"No…" Kyp responded quietly. "But I do know what it needs."
Her mouth dropped open at the truth in his voice. She tried to speak but nothing came out. This was coming from Kyp Durron, the wildest Jedi Master in the entire universe. The man who always went by his own rules, and never listened to anyone else's. Moreover, he was telling her that he had fallen for her?
Her heart pounded in rage. Was this just another ploy to use her again? However, she felt no deception through the Force nor through his face.
Trying to calm her heart down she took a few breaths. "You're not lying, are
you?" Her voice hinted of hesitation and lack of confidence.
Lifting his head up, Kyp gave her that impish grin of his. "Unfortunately, I lied to a Solo once… and I learned the hard way."
Something inside of her gave her strength to laugh at his little joke. She was stunned that the laughter had emerged from her, but it did. A light feeling began to settle in her stomach. The only person who had that effect on her had been Jag.
Blinking back in surprise that her mind had thought up such a parallel, Jaina shook off the idea.
"So… am I forgiven?" Kyp's voice seemed to be pleading.
Looking into his green eyes, she replied softly, "I forgave you a long time ago."
***
Relief filled the Jedi Master's soul. It felt as if a great weight had been taken from him. He had not even realized it had been there. Quiet purged the room of a peaceful tranquility Kyp never knew existed.
Suddenly her hand stretched across her body and gripped her injured arm.
The pain startled Kyp. Almost as quick as she had reacted he was on his knees on the bed reached for her arm too.
"G-get off of me," she stuttered as the agony shot her arm.
Kyp did not listen, but gently placed his hand on her injury and let the Force flood through him. He felt something deep in her wound throbbing in a consistent rhythm in her elbow.
His hands carefully unwrapped the bandages around her skin.
"Oh my Force…" Kyp breathed. Something was wrong. Her arm was swelling again.
She must have saw the worry on his face. "K-Kyp? What's wrong?"
"Jaina, there is something wrong with you're arm. The spines that struck you… there still inside of you. The only person who knows as much about the Yuuzhan Vong biological plants and animals is Cilghal."
"And you." The pleading in her voice pulled his eyes to hers again. He saw fear in them. "If you want me to trust you again… help me, please."
A fear jarred through him. She was giving him her faith that he would take care of her. All he had to do was remove whatever was stuck in her elbow, but that required surgery. If she died why he was doing surgery there was no way he could live with himself again. Then again, this was his only chance to show her he really changed.
"It might hurt a bit." He warned.
***
The surgery had not taken long. Kyp had locked the door so no one would have came in and found him working on her. He had used the Force to pull the six tiny spine tips from her arm. They were now sitting on the table at the far end of the room, still contracting like cardiac muscle. She had been awake for the full time. Now all Kyp was doing was stitching her back up.
She whimpered for the first time.
His hands stopped to glance up into her eyes. "All done."
Tears of joy that the pain that had been there before was finally gone. Jaina smiled at him. "Kyp, what do you want… I'll do anything."
A light sparkled in his jaded eyes. Realizing his position on the bed he gave her a half cocky and serious grin. "Anything?"
"Anything." she replied.
"Your trust is more than enough." Kyp answered. *Do you honestly trust me that much? * he added.
Jaina heard his little add on and smiled. "I do."
A blush heated on his cheeks.
Through the Force, Jaina could feel he wanted more. He deserved it and was so bad at hiding the fact from her. "Come here."
"What?"
"Kiss me. You're so bad at hiding it."
He gapped at her.
"You better hurry before I realize what I just said."
Kyp did not need any more persuasion. His lips locked with hers. At first the kiss had only been meant to be friendly, nothing more than a sweet kiss, but vibrations spiraled down both of their spines like electric shocks.
Slowly, Jaina felt Kyp's hand slide around the back of her neck. Her stomach did flips and she felt lightheaded.
Feeling her dizziness, Kyp pulled back, only to have her bring his lips back down to hers with a small Force tug. The pull caused him to fall and loose his balance. He landed with her on the bed and broke the connection.
Both were breathing hard.
Kyp moved back to his feet. The kiss had been more than he ever expected from her. "You better get some sleep."
"I think you could use a nap as well." Jaina added.
"After what I just experienced, I think I'll be taking quite a long one." He caught her eye and smiled. "Sweet dreams Jaina."
She did not answer him. Already she was sleeping. He laughed lightly then left.
***
"Well, look who's up!"
The voice startled Jaina as she looked up from the book she had been reading. Her eyes were filled with the older man's silhouette as her eyes quickly adjusted to the shift of light.
"Wedge? What are you doing here?"
"I came to see how you were doing. The nurse told me you had been sleeping each time I've tried to come and see how you were doing, but she would not let me in."
"I'm glad she did not. I look horrible."
Smiling, Wedge crossed the room and sat on Jaina's bedside next to her. His happiness faded from his face almost as quickly as it had come. Something to her inside, what he was going to say was not what she wanted to hear.
Jaina set the book down on the blanket. "How long have you been here?"
He grasped her hand squeezing it in reassurance. "I entered the atmosphere the day of Anakin's funeral." Wedge paused trying to find the words. "Jaina, the reason why I'm here is cause Luke sent me."
Jaina only frowned.
"Barron Fel is here as well."
"The Barron? Jag's father?" Jaina replied shocked. "Why? W-what's going on? How come all of you are here?" She asked worriedly.
Taking in a deep breath, Wedge did his best to relax and break the news to her, but surprising information to a Solo was fatal. It always deepened on how one presented the facts, on the reaction. Wedge had to choose his words carefully. "Jaina, there was a transmission from Coruscant for you."
"Me?" Jaina was confused. Coruscant had fallen to the Yuuzhan Vong control months ago. "Why me? From who?"
"Jacen."
Her heart felt like it was going to shatter. "Jacen? He's alive?"
"Well…" pulling out a small round disk he set it in her palm. "I recommend that you watch this with someone you trust and not after you've ate." She was staring at the metal chip in shock. Wedge opened his mouth to speak again, but nothing would come out. What could he say to her? She had already been through more than enough for the millions who had died. Obviously, life was not that satisfied yet. "If you need to talk about anything, call."
Fear rose in her eyes. Lifting her head up she looked as if she were going to cry, but the water disappeared. "Tell me something Wedge… do you honestly believe my brother is alive?"
"Yes, I want to believe that. I do not see how the Yuuzhan Vong could kill him when they want the two of you. Your brother is strong, and he will not give up on you. His life here in the universe is not finished yet."
"Then tell me… how are you so sure of this? Without proof?" Jaina was sick of the constant emptiness inside of her. She missed the constant touch of her brother's presence in her soul. He always had been there with her, even though far away, she always could reach out and feel the glimmer of his heart. Now, she felt nothing and felt so lost.
"Jaina, you have to trust in your heart. Have faith and pray." Wisdom flooded from the old Rebellion pilot's lips.
"You act like a prophet."
"And yet, you're the one who's been through hell and back."
"Prayer is just a fancy word for a significant cry of help to the air."
"Luck has not done you any good so far. Why not trusting in something a bit more tangible than chance." Wedge countered. "I always said Solo luck is would not last forever."
"Anakin's didn't…" she breathed out in a shaky and soft voice.
Wedge cringed. "I did not mean anything of the sort. Anakin died doing his heart's work."
Disbelief filled Jaina's face. Looking Wedge dead in the eye she looked as if she was going to cry again. "How can you say that? His death broke Tahiri's heart."
Raising his eyebrows, he shook his head. "I doubt that. It may have hurt to see him go, but it gave her strength to live. Tahiri is now more involved in aiding refugees and others during this time of conflict. Yeah her heart was broken, but instead of going into a long period of obsolete grief, she now uses her heart in what she is doing giving courage to the younger Jedi and others whom look up to her. She even now is not so afraid of using the memories that the Yuuzhan Vong planted in her memory for good." He paused. "Jaina, life does not end with you when another dies. They usually die when their time is gone and their mission in life is completed."
"I never got to say goodbye…" she began to cry.
Breathing in, Wedge felt a tear trail down his face. Before him the strongest Solo he had ever known was breaking before him. Breaking down in grief. He had realized for some time now that it had been eating at her, but now he actually saw how deeply and bad it had gotten.
"Jaina, there is something else." He waited until her red eyes caught his. "The Barron, Jag and I will be gone for a few days. We should be back in two weeks at tops."
"Two weeks?"
"We leave soon, so forgive me for parting."
She waved off his apology. "You have no need to apologize. You're the war hero."
"Can there ever be any one with such a title? It's such an oxymoron. Plus, I'm not the only one whose made a name for myself." He grinned and heard her laugh. Squeezing her hand he nodded. "I better go. Don't get down Sticks. We need you."
Jaina watched the older man exit her room. She saluted him. "May the Force be with you."
"You too, Jaina." Her eyes watched him leave her door. It had been opened the whole time. Taking in a deep breath she stared at it for a while. Her eyes finally fell upon the disk in her palm. She had forgotten it was there.
Setting the disk aside she reached with her good arm to the side of the bed and grabbed her comlink but instead found herself grasping a note beside her bed she had not noticed before.
***
Her hands grasped the piece of flimsy. Sitting up, she carefully opened it up and saw it as a note.
Taking in a deep breath she read it.
Jaina-
A lot of things have happened and are going to happen. I love you more than life itself, yet I have a funny feeling about this mission. You know how sometimes you have a gut feeling about some things, and… I don't know. Maybe it's just not from flying in a while. You're probably laughing at me. Sometimes I lead you to believe I'm a better pilot than you, yet right now I am doubting everything. I wish we had more time together before I go back out into space, but I need to go. You understand. I don't know when the next time we'll see each other. Maybe when I get back, but the way this war goes you probably will be flying off to another part of this universe to aid in the effort. Wherever you fly to, I know you are presence will be positive. I better get packing. The Barron does not like it when I'm late. Forgive me for not saying goodbye in person, but we will be leaving soon once you read this note. If you ever need to contact me for help, type in the code 1295-392355. It will connect you to my personal line. Use only for emergencies though.
Sincerely,
JagJaina smiled at the note. Of course she understood. That is what came with the flying license; to be transported whenever and wherever someone need you to go.
Folding the note back up, she set it aside next to her bed for safekeeping. She would definitely keep it close by her.
A soft knocking interrupted her focus.
She lifted her head and saw Kyp leaning on the door jam giving her a once over.
Jaina rolled her eyes. "Stop it, Durron."
"You're looking sexy as ever." The Jedi Master commented as he made his way into the room wearing that roguish grin of his.
"Yeah, through the eyes of a Hutt." She paused for a second. "Don't let one measly kiss get to your head."
"It didn't…"
"Good. Keep it that way."
"It got to my heart."
Jaina shook her head. He took a seat next to her on the bed and saw the silver chip on her lap. Stretching over her he grabbed it and held it up. "What's this?"
Seeing the disk in his hand stung her deeply causing her to remember what reality it held inside it's casing.
Kyp frowned when she did not answer. "Jaina? You ok?"
Shaking herself back into the present, she tried to reach for it and was unsuccessful. "Come on Kyp, give it back."
"Not until you tell me what's in it."
"Kyp!" she scolded in a warning tone. Patience was not with her, and this was personal.
He took in a deep breath and handed the piece of metal and gave it to her.
"Thank you," Jaina replied briskly.
"You going to tell me what's on the disk?" Kyp probed. Whatever was encoded on it troubled her deeply. She seemed more hostile that before. When she did not answer he wrapped an arm around her. "I'll be here when you want to tell me," he whispered into her ear.
Without thinking, she nodded.
Kyp slowly got up from her side and began to make his way towards the door when she stopped him.
"Jacen."
The name took Kyp by surprise and he spun around to face her. "What?"
"It's Jacen. That's who is on the disk." She told him. "I haven't seen it yet to know what is on it. Wedge told me to watch it with someone I trust."
Taking aback by her words, Kyp did not know what to say. He could not watch this with her. He never really like Jacen all that much and he did not know if he could handle seeing her twin's recorded Holo. Surely, it portrayed him captured, or worse.
"Jaina, I didn't know. I don't have to be the one—"
"Please stay," she begged.
He opened his mouth but changed what he was going to say. Her voice seemed to be crying out for someone to stand by her and not leave her forever.
*Watch over her for me. * the familiar voice echoed through his mind.
Breathing out, Kyp nodded. "I'm here for you Jaina."
***
Jaina trembled as she picked up the data pad and tried to put the disk in it but failed.
Kyp, who was again sitting beside her on the bed, noticed her dilemma and helped her. A faint smile pierced her lips. "Thanks."
"No problem."
Kyp watched Jaina from the corner of his eye as he got the disk to work in the datapad. He could tell she was nervous not just about what information might be on the recording, but having him around. She was opening her trust to him, allowing him to be in her personal life. One that involved her twin brother, Jacen.
He could not help but frown at the reality of the moment. He never really liked Jacen; in fact the two were practically enemies. They were total opposites, and argued over everything at the meetings Master Skywalker held for the Jedi when they were together.
Finally, the device rumbled on and light flooded from the top of it.
Turning to Jaina, he asked. "You ready to see this? We can wait you know."
"He's my brother, Kyp. Waiting will only cause him more suffering." Jaina concluded. Her hand crossed over to his that held the datapad. With a shaky hand she click the play button.
***
The Holo was clear. Images of everything that it had recorded had been so vivid Jaina thought she was there with her brother. She watched and listened to the Holo as her heart began to break.
"This message has been encrypted for you Jaina Solo. I assume you know why," hissed Tsavong Lah, the Warmaster of the Yuuzhan Vong. Jaina eyed the image with fear and anger. The alien's face had been horrible scarred and tattooed, enough one would look and be shocked that it was actually a living being. Dark blue sacs hung low underneath his hollow sockets. Something that always crept her out. She would never admit to that fact to anyone. To give into the invader's attempts at fear was the first step into defeat.
He continued. "There has been a rumor that you felt your sibling die in the Force. I don't know what that means exactly, but it does prove the experiments by Priestess Nen Yim to be working sufficiently. One thing is clear though, if you keep to hiding like a fool, Jacen will no longer be obliged by our hands to stay alive. I, honestly, could care less if you come or not. The gods have entrusted me to oversee what his future will be. Now it's your turn. Come and fight your twin, or let him die alone."
Abruptly the Holo of the ugly creature faded into a vision of Jacen.
Jaina could hardly recognize him, but she did. All bloodied and horribly scarred, but it was Jacen alright. Something stick in his side as he lay on his back. Faintly his eyes opened and she saw him look at the screen. His face was saltly from the tears he had cried before. He had no more to release.
Then it happened.
The screams of pain from the torture. Cruel horrible as it was, Jaina could not bring herself to look away. She longed so much to reach out and take his pain away, but it was only a Holo. He had already undergone the torment possibly weeks before, but nothing inside Jaina made herself wish that it had been her instead.
Suddenly, the floating image disappeared from her sight. Shocked and afraid something was wrong she went to grab the datapad to fix it, but already Kyp had set it aside on the nightstand.
"W-what do you think you're d—" but she never was able to finish her sentence.
His lips landed on hers. Surprise did not kick into her till seconds later, and only then had he pulled away from hers. Kyp looked into her eyes but said nothing.
"What was that for?" she managed to speak.
Again, he did not answer, and thumbed away a tear she had not realized that had been there. He pulled her close and held her. Jaina never realized that she had given in so easily, or that she was crying on his shoulder.
***
Her chest hurt, or felt like it. Groaning, Jaina rolled off her stomach and onto her back. She stretched out, yawning a bit and felt her hand push on something warm next to her.
Startled, Jaina screamed but only to have her cry muffled by a muscular hand. She shook and fought, struggling to break the hold.
Her heart raced like thunder. Using the Force she pushed the figure off her, but it was only a nudge. The next thing she knew, he was on her. Now with her arms pinned up above her head, she lay vulnerable still with her mouth covered.
"Jaina, breath… you're ok… it's just me."
Something brushed lightly across her cheek as the grip on her mouth lifted and her eyes opened.
Her vision flooded with the features of Kyp. His face stunned her. "W… why were you laying next to… I mean on me? Why are you even here?" she ordered.
"Don't give me that! I wasn't going to leave you crying alone for your brother."
Jaina opened her mouth but her memory triggered and she remembered what had transpired the night before. Vivid images of the Holo and her nightmare flashed into her mind. Again her chest burst in pain. Violently she began to gag and cough.
Kyp released her, helping her sit up seeing her discomfort and stress.
"Jaina?" He asked calmly, already knowing the answer. With a comforting hand, he rubbed her back as her coughing fit continued. Before he had fallen asleep the night before, he had made it a point to become in tune with her pain, so that if anything was to go wrong he would wake up to feel it.
Finally, her fit ceased. Continuing to rub her back, he let the silence linger.
"Oh, Kyp…" Jaina groaned in pain. "I'm sorry I snapped… it's just—"
"Don't apologize. It was mostly my fault for staying." He opened his mouth again to say something but nothing came, almost like something was caught in his throat.
"You ok, Kyp?"
"Y-yeah. I just was thinking..." he lied. Kyp felt the soreness inside of her swelling. Her body was still healing from the trauma she had gone through a few days before, but she needed to get out and walk around.
"Are you up for a walk? We both could use the fresh air." He poised.
Jaina nodded. "It would be good to get out for a bit. Wait outside, while I get dressed."
***
Kyp helped Jaina through the palace gardens not realizing that they were leading themselves into the same area Kyp had found them before. At first neither of them noticed until Jaina lifted her head up and stopped suddenly.
"Jaina? Are you alright?" he asked, concerned if it was the memory that caused her to halt.
She read his mind almost in her own. "No, Kyp. I overreacted, but that's not it." Suddenly, her legs buckled under her.
Following her drop, Kyp held her and stroked her hair.
Taking a deep break, Jaina waved off his assistance. "I'm ok. My legs just gave out that's all." Feeling a bit uncomfortable, she refused to look at the Jedi Master.
"Jaina… stop this… please. You're scaring me."
Without another answer she jolted from his side and ran as fast as she could away from him.
Stunned by her action, Kyp got to his feet and jogged after her, using the Force to aid him in which direction she had taken. He tried his best but her presence diminished from his Force touch. He stopped as he approached outside the gardens. Taking a deep breath he glanced both ways and saw no sign of her.
"Hutt-slime!" he cursed. He did not know what Jaina had planned in store, but this was hardly the time he wanted surprises. She was just healing over whatever had implanted itself in her arm.
His comlink immediately rang at his side.
"Durron, here."
"Hey, kid." The familiar voice of Han Solo entered his ears.
"Han! Hi, how's it going?"
"Pretty good, as much as can be expected during this time. I called to check up on my little princess. Last I heard, she got hurt pretty bad. Mind filling me in?" Han asked in concerned.
Taking his free hand, Kyp ran his fingers through his hair as if it would take away the reality. "Han, I have something to tell you… promise you won't blow up at me… or kill me…"
"Kid, if something happened to my little princess… you're a dead man." Han threatened over the comlink. Even across a vast distance of light years, Kyp still felt as nervous as he would have been in the presence of the great hero.
"Han…" he began to explain carefully."
***
Jaina was already changed into her comfortable orange flight suit when Lowie had found her in her rooms.
He growled something about her needing to be in bed resting.
"Lowie, stop. There's no way I'm staying still in a bed resting for any longer."
Lowbacca moaned out a question.
"I'm going to go help a friend, and find my brother."
He growled at her again, but this time blocked her way to get out of the door by using his tall muscular body.
"Don't give me that! I need to go Lowie… I have too." She begged her closest friend. "I've seen him suffer through a Holo message… and now I am feeling his pain again. It's been so long. If I wait any longer, he'll die. And so might Jag."
She listened at his reaction.
"NO! You can't come. You have to keep Kyp from following me. Please, Lowie. Do me this one favor, please?"
Silence stung between the two as Jaina waited for an answer. The next thing she knew she was in a heart wretching hug. She hugged Lowie back as tears fell down her face.
"I'll come back. I promise."
He growled something that sounded muffled in his fur. She laughed. Pulling back she looked up at him and gave him the infamous Solo half grin. He mumbled something.
"May the Force be with you too." With that she picked up the small bag that had been laying across her bed and jolted out of the door, too afraid if she turned back she would not be able to continue.