Prologue
Do you ever wonder how your life ended up getting so messed up? I do. All the time. You see, first there was Ron. And I loved him but when we were together we just made each other unhappy. But when we split up after I caught him kissing some skanky girl, it made me even unhappier. And then he starting going out with a pretentious Barbie doll look-alike called Veronique and my unhappiness levels shot right off the scale. I didn't think I'd ever want to get kiss-shaped with another boy, but then there was Draco Malfoy. He's Veronique's cousin-would you believe it? We hated each other to start with, but all that passionate sniping somehow turned into passionate snogging. Draco's a hard boy to pin down, sometimes I fancy him like mad, other times I hate his guts. And Ron's always there in the background. When he and Veronique went through a bad patch, I just wanted to get him back. Of course, it didn't work out. He got back with Veronique who told me in no uncertain terms that she'd have me run out of town if I ever tried it on with Ron again. And Draco was also left with some trust issues. Mainly he doesn't trust me anymore. But he still wants to sleep with me. Typical boy. I fancy him but I don't know if I'm ready to get pelvic with anyone. And as for Ron? Don't even go there.
When I'm not having boy problems, I work at a café in Diagon Alley and worry how my N.E.W.T.s results will turn out. Hopefully fingers crossed. I also play guitar in an all-girl band with my friends Susan, Parvati and Lavender. And try not to trash the house while my 'rents enjoy a second honeymoon on the Florida Keys. But all I really want to do is get through the summer without any major traumas. Which isn't what happened, not even close.
Chapter 1
Monday 17 July
I always have a better time getting ready for a party than I do once I'm actually at the party and trying to be all party-like. And although it was just a graduation bash and Draco was only coming with me 'cause I wore him down through medium of nagging. I was also really excited. So excited I'd spent most of the day looking up some decent spells to change my hair-look (I'm thinking a manicure) and I blew off the emergency money Mum left me for some new clothes and make-up. I don't know what I'm going to do if the water tank suddenly explodes but at least I look good.
This summer was going to be so strange. For starters, the 'rents were away on holiday and I was trying to hold down a full-time job while I waited for the dreaded NEWTs results, and wondered about what I was going to do for, like, the rest of my life. And then there was the whole boy thing, the whole I-really-fancy-Draco-but-I-still-love-Ron nightmare that had been causing me countless sleepless nights. My life was getting way too grown-up for my liking. And as I stroked pink glittery varnish onto my toenails and wondered whether my matching hair slides and my pale pink dress was just a little too pink, I decided that tonight I was going to find my inner child and run with her. Forget being responsible and mature, tonight I was going to be irresponsible and immature.
I glanced at myself in the mirror. The problem was I still looked like a kid. A lanky kid with curly brown hair and a body that still seemed to be waiting for puberty to hit, I mean on a good day I was kinda cute, but I was never going to be, well, sexy.
The doorbell rang as I was sliding on my cork wedgies. I concentrated on walking sedately down the stairs and not breaking my neck (I could of Apparated but I'm haven't got my licence yet, And if you think I'm going to break the law, you must be joking!)
The thought of spending four hours with Draco was doing weird things to my stomach.
He had his hand raised to have another go on the doorbell when I finally managed to let him in. He was wearing narrow-legged trousers and a short- sleeved shirt with little geometric patterns on it. Draco always looked like he'd been born 40 years too late when wearing Muggle clothes. But in a good way.
"You took your time," he complained with a smile, running a hand through his blond quiff, his deep blue glinting.
"I was having trouble negotiating the stairs," I muttered. "I couldn't decide whether to go for functionality or fashion forwardness in my footwear choice."
Sometimes Draco makes me really nervous. Being nervous makes me talk a lot. You do the maths.
Draco looked me up and down. Slowly. I could feel a blush starting at my hairline and travelling all the way down to my newly varnished toes.
"I see fashion forwardness won in the end," he commented archly. "Can you actually walk in those?"
"Kind of."
"So am I coming in or are you actually ready for the first time in our short but eventful relationship?" he asked. "You look nice, by the way. Like a strawberry milkshake."
"Oh thanks, Draco," I said sullenly.
"I love strawberry milkshake!" he protested with a smirk that lit up his angular features. "Stop being so touchy. Now, have you got everything; house-keys, purse, lip-gloss, wand.?"
I rummaged in my bag checking off items as he mentioned them and wishing that he didn't always make me feel like a silly child that he hung out with because it amused him.
"I'm good to go," I said decisively. "Do you have a Portkey?"
"I thought we'd walk or Apparate. I guess I should have checked the footwear situation with you first," he smirked again. "We'll flag down a Portkey once we get onto the main road."
As I wobbled down the street in my wedge heels, Draco took my elbow. He didn't do holding hands. In fact, he scorned all public displays of affection, unlike Ron who'd been happy to snog me when we queued up for class at Hogwarts and in shop doorways in Hogsmeade, and he had always reached for my hand as soon as he saw me. But Ron was the past and Draco was right now, and I didn't want to think about any possible boy-shapes that might be lurking in the future.
The party was being held at a tacky nightclub as Hogwarts was closed over summer and everywhere was booked up in Hogsmeade. So we had to go to the local town area, which of course meant we were in the atmosphere of Muggles, which Draco was trying to get used to. It actually surprised me on how much Draco had changed ever since his father had been locked in Azkaban. Though he still didn't get along with Harry and Ron as much as I would like, but that's the way life is sometimes.
As Draco caught sight of two bouncers on the door and gangs of muggle lads in pastel shirts, reeking of cheap aftershave who were queuing to get in, he shuddered.
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," he said.
"Wait 'til you get inside," I teased. "They have plastic palm trees and a dance floor that lights up."
"One of your regular haunts is it?"
"Italian Tony from work had his birthday party here," I explained. "There was a massive fight and I saw this guy get glassed. It was horrible and his girlfriend was crying because there was blood on her dress."
"Hermione," said Draco. "I'll give it an hour and if it sucks we're off."
The bouncers unclipped the velvet rope and let us through. "You could at least pretend that you wanted to be here." I told him. "Not everyone can be as cool as you are."
"That's for sure." He remarked. "What do you want to drink? One of those disgusting alcopops that you seem to love so much?"
I nodded and he disappeared in the direction of the bar. Standing on my own in a nightclub is not one of my most favourite occupations. I tried to assume a nonchalant I'm-just-waiting-for-50-of-my- best-friends-to-come-back-from-the-loo pose but I was sure everybody was staring at me and thinking that I was a complete loser who had no mates.
Suddenly I felt two hands squeeze my waist and I started in surprise.
"Alright, gorgeous?" enquired Harry, my bestest boy bud, probably because I've been his friend for seven years and we've only been good friends and nothing else, I could trust him more than any other boy.
"You look like a strawberry milkshake."
I turned around and smiled at Harry; with him calling me a strawberry milkshake it didn't make me get all defensive. "I'm so glad you're here. I feel all out of sorts," I said, giving him a friendly hug.
"So which of your many male admirers have you brought tonight?" Harry wanted to know.
"I'm here with Draco," I said darkly. "But I'm not sure it was a good idea. I don't think he's in a party mood and he wants to go in an hour."
"Oh, him." Harry replied, rolling his eyes.
"He's changed a lot since."
"Voldemort was defeated." Harry finished.
"No, I was going to say since his dad was locked up. Since his dad was the one who was teaching him to turn out bad."
"I still think he's bad though anyway."
"He's alright when you get to know him a bit better," I insisted. "He's really funny."
"Yeah, funny peculiar," said Harry. "And what about Ron?"
"What about him? He's going out with Veronique. End of story."
"And he just happens to have a summer job as a short-order cook in the café where you work!" exclaimed Harry. "Can you say coincidence?"
I was just on the verge of opening my mouth to cut him dead with a crushing retort when he took my hand and dragged me towards the lit-up dance-floor that I'd been taunting Draco about. I tried to loosen Harry's grip but he was having none of it.
"Harry!" I hissed. "Draco'll be looking for me."
"But its Horny Horny Horny," protested Harry. "It's out song!"
Harry whirled me round like we were on Come Dancing and I had no choice but to give in. That's the other thing I love about Harry. He's the only boy I can dance with without being afraid about how ridiculous we both looked.
I finally managed to disentangle myself from Harry when I heard the dreaded word, "The Vengabus is coming." My feet were not happy. I was sure there were some blister-type things going on but I was more worried about Draco. I eventually found him slouched against a pillar looking like he was having the worst night of his life. My heart sank; he could get really weird about stuff like this. I hobbled over to him, hoping he wasn't going to be too angry.
"Sorry, I bumped into Harry.," I began, but he smiled and handed me my lukewarm drink.
"It's okay, Herm, you don't have to explain," he shouted above the music. "I like watching you dance. You really should think about going into live entertainment. As long as you don't expect me to join in."
"That's something I'd like to see," I told him. There was a bit of an awkward silence as Draco just looked at me. This always seemed to happen. His conversation tails off and as I desperately think of something to say, Draco looks at me while I get more and more embarrassed. I get so flustered and aware of myself; I start to want him to kiss me more than anything else in the whole world.
I could feel my cheeks flushing and I turned my head away from him. Draco gently grabbed my chin with one hand so he could see my face.
"What do you want?" he enquired throatily.
"I don't know," I said breathlessly. "I want to sit down and I.I'm really hot." Please kiss me, I silently begged him and I was just about to do something incredibly sappy, like plead with him to snog me, when Parvati and Lavender came over to say hello.
"We interrupting anything?" Asked Parvati, sensing the atmosphere.
"Hermione and I were having a moment," Draco said, putting an arm around me and pulling me closer.
"Hi," I managed to get finally out. "I'm just having a bit of a hot flush."
"Hmmmm, you look all weird," commented Lavender. "Like you've been on a cross-country run."
"I've been dancing with Harry," I continued. "Anyway I didn't think you two were coming. It's not really our scene, is it?" They both looked a bit shifty.
"What have I missed?" I said suspiciously.
"We didn't think you were coming either," said Parvati.
"We've come here to get a snog from every wizard we ever fancied at Hogwarts."
"And we're not leaving until we do," finished Lavender fiercely.
I could feel Draco tense up. "I think I'd better get Hermione out of here before you two give her any ideas," he said smoothly. "I hope you've brought some lip balm, it sounds like you're going to need it."
I could tell that Parvati and Lavender weren't sure whether Draco was laughing with them or at them, and to tell you the truth I didn't either.
"Hey, rewind," I said, flashing Draco a warning look.
"We've only just got here. I want to spend some time with my friends."
Draco shrugged in a fairly good impression of someone who was fine with the idea, but I could see a flash of annoyance on his face.
"I'll go and see Matt then while you compare nail varnish or whatever it is you girls talk about," and he sauntered off in the direction of the DJ booth where one of his Slytherin friends from Hogwarts was hanging out.
Parvati and Lavender visibly relaxed. "I'm surprised he doesn't have you magically tagged," sniped Lavender as we grabbed a booth.
"I can't believe I'm seeing a boy who all my mates loathe," I said miserably. "I know he can be sarcastic but he can be really sweet too. Honest."
"Are you trying to convince us or yourself?" asked Lavender as she took a sip of her lurid pink cocktail.
"I'm really confused about the way he makes me feel half the time." I confessed. "When he gets all toxic on me I end up wanting to kiss him."
"Classic evasion tactic," explained Parvati, whose uncles a psychologist. "You think that when he kisses you, he'll stop being all arsy. Whereas he's being arsy 'cause he knows it makes you uncomfortable and then he gets to be the one in control. Do you know what I mean?"
"No, not really," I said, rolling my eyes.
"She means he's a complete control freak, Hermione," said Lavender in an exasperated voice. "You practically had to beg for his permission to spend time with us."
"It's complicated," I said trying to explain. "You know when I had that mini-fling with my ex.,"
"Ron?"
"Yeah, well it left Draco convinced that I wasn't the most trustworthy girl, 'cause I was kinda seeing him at the same time," I finished unhappily. "You must think I'm a terrible person, like, boy-obsessed or something."
"Everyone has boy issues," said Lavender consolingly. "I once had three boys on the go 'cause I couldn't make up my mind which one I fancied."
"But you're with Draco now right?" asked Parvati. "So he should get over it."
I gave a deep sigh. "But he refuses to acknowledge the fact that we're practically going steady. He just says that we should keep it loose, but."
"But?" prompted Parvati.
"He reckons that if we are going out then we should, you know, um, have sex, but I'm not sure," I managed to stammer. "It seems like a lousy reason."
"Right!" agreed Lavender. "It's one thing to have sex 'cause you're in a serious relationship with someone you care about. But to do it with someone in the hope that he might actually admit that you're already having a relationship, well that's just stupid."
"Hermione what the hell are you doing with him?" Parvati demanded.
"I don't know," I moaned. "I know he can be difficult but it's exciting just the same."
"Boys can be such jerks," said Lavender feelingly.
There was a moment's silence as we all contemplated the jerkdom of the male species. I looked up to see Draco looming over me.
"Hermione, please can we go?" he begged. I looked over at Parvati and Lavender. They were no help.
"See you at rehearsal tomorrow then," they both chirped and slid out of the booth. "Right let's find our first victim," Lavender added.
"Good luck!" I called after them.
Which left just me and Draco. He ran a finger down my cheek, "Let's get the hell out of here." We got another Portkey back to my house and the minute I opened the front door I kicked my wedgies off.
"Ow!" I whimpered. "My feet are killing me."
Draco laughed and followed me into the lounge. I made some tea and he dumped all the cushions off the settee so we could sprawl out on the floor and listen to the WWN (Wizarding Wireless Network).
We drank our tea in companionable silence. When there aren't any other people around Draco completely chills out. He's funny and we talk about books and films and play 'Anywhere But Here' which involves describing in great detail where you'd be and what you'd be wearing if you were actually, erm, anywhere but here. Draco's even better at 'Anywhere But Here' than I am. And Draco always strokes Crookshanks, my cat, until she's all purred out and it makes me think I could really love him.
Ok, I can't talk to Draco like I used to talk to Ron. I mean, I could tell Ron anything, all the secret stuff that I'd never tell anyone else and I know that he'd understand and wouldn't judge me. I never go that deep with Draco 'cause on some level I know that the closer I let him get, the more he'll be able to hurt me someday. Could my thought patterns be any skewier?
By that time a classic song by the Weird Sisters had finished, I was stretched out on the carpet while Draco lay over me, his hands gently pinning my arms to my side while he nibbled my bottom lip. He let go of my wrists and trailed a hand down my side until I felt him start to push the skirt of my dress up my leg. I kind of blissed out as he tickled the underside of my knee but when his hand reached mid-thigh I tugged away. Draco behaved himself for a while and concentrated on kissing me until I was gasping for breath but as he reached under me and started to inch my zip down.I sat up and pushed him away.
"No!" I yelped.
"No?" he asked, reaching for me again but I brushed his hands away. Draco got to his feet and gave me an annoyed look.
"I'm not going to wait forever, Hermione," he said. "You have to lose it sometime, you might as well lose it with me."
"It just doesn't seem right," I tried to explain. "I'm not ready, it's too soon."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Is it me?" he wanted to know. "Are you scared?"
"I don't know. I suppose so. Sometimes I think you're only interested in me 'cause, you know, you want to."
"God, you can't even say it," said Draco sounding really impatient. "People have sex, it's no big deal."
"Well, it is to me," I muttered. "I want it to be special. I want to lose my virginity with someone who lo.who really cares for me."
Draco shook his head. "I've gotta go," he said. "I'll owl you."
I scrambled to my feet. "Don't be mad with me," I begged, trying to give him a hug. He gently but firmly held me off.
"I'll owl you," he repeated and he vanished before I could say another word.
Do you ever wonder how your life ended up getting so messed up? I do. All the time. You see, first there was Ron. And I loved him but when we were together we just made each other unhappy. But when we split up after I caught him kissing some skanky girl, it made me even unhappier. And then he starting going out with a pretentious Barbie doll look-alike called Veronique and my unhappiness levels shot right off the scale. I didn't think I'd ever want to get kiss-shaped with another boy, but then there was Draco Malfoy. He's Veronique's cousin-would you believe it? We hated each other to start with, but all that passionate sniping somehow turned into passionate snogging. Draco's a hard boy to pin down, sometimes I fancy him like mad, other times I hate his guts. And Ron's always there in the background. When he and Veronique went through a bad patch, I just wanted to get him back. Of course, it didn't work out. He got back with Veronique who told me in no uncertain terms that she'd have me run out of town if I ever tried it on with Ron again. And Draco was also left with some trust issues. Mainly he doesn't trust me anymore. But he still wants to sleep with me. Typical boy. I fancy him but I don't know if I'm ready to get pelvic with anyone. And as for Ron? Don't even go there.
When I'm not having boy problems, I work at a café in Diagon Alley and worry how my N.E.W.T.s results will turn out. Hopefully fingers crossed. I also play guitar in an all-girl band with my friends Susan, Parvati and Lavender. And try not to trash the house while my 'rents enjoy a second honeymoon on the Florida Keys. But all I really want to do is get through the summer without any major traumas. Which isn't what happened, not even close.
Chapter 1
Monday 17 July
I always have a better time getting ready for a party than I do once I'm actually at the party and trying to be all party-like. And although it was just a graduation bash and Draco was only coming with me 'cause I wore him down through medium of nagging. I was also really excited. So excited I'd spent most of the day looking up some decent spells to change my hair-look (I'm thinking a manicure) and I blew off the emergency money Mum left me for some new clothes and make-up. I don't know what I'm going to do if the water tank suddenly explodes but at least I look good.
This summer was going to be so strange. For starters, the 'rents were away on holiday and I was trying to hold down a full-time job while I waited for the dreaded NEWTs results, and wondered about what I was going to do for, like, the rest of my life. And then there was the whole boy thing, the whole I-really-fancy-Draco-but-I-still-love-Ron nightmare that had been causing me countless sleepless nights. My life was getting way too grown-up for my liking. And as I stroked pink glittery varnish onto my toenails and wondered whether my matching hair slides and my pale pink dress was just a little too pink, I decided that tonight I was going to find my inner child and run with her. Forget being responsible and mature, tonight I was going to be irresponsible and immature.
I glanced at myself in the mirror. The problem was I still looked like a kid. A lanky kid with curly brown hair and a body that still seemed to be waiting for puberty to hit, I mean on a good day I was kinda cute, but I was never going to be, well, sexy.
The doorbell rang as I was sliding on my cork wedgies. I concentrated on walking sedately down the stairs and not breaking my neck (I could of Apparated but I'm haven't got my licence yet, And if you think I'm going to break the law, you must be joking!)
The thought of spending four hours with Draco was doing weird things to my stomach.
He had his hand raised to have another go on the doorbell when I finally managed to let him in. He was wearing narrow-legged trousers and a short- sleeved shirt with little geometric patterns on it. Draco always looked like he'd been born 40 years too late when wearing Muggle clothes. But in a good way.
"You took your time," he complained with a smile, running a hand through his blond quiff, his deep blue glinting.
"I was having trouble negotiating the stairs," I muttered. "I couldn't decide whether to go for functionality or fashion forwardness in my footwear choice."
Sometimes Draco makes me really nervous. Being nervous makes me talk a lot. You do the maths.
Draco looked me up and down. Slowly. I could feel a blush starting at my hairline and travelling all the way down to my newly varnished toes.
"I see fashion forwardness won in the end," he commented archly. "Can you actually walk in those?"
"Kind of."
"So am I coming in or are you actually ready for the first time in our short but eventful relationship?" he asked. "You look nice, by the way. Like a strawberry milkshake."
"Oh thanks, Draco," I said sullenly.
"I love strawberry milkshake!" he protested with a smirk that lit up his angular features. "Stop being so touchy. Now, have you got everything; house-keys, purse, lip-gloss, wand.?"
I rummaged in my bag checking off items as he mentioned them and wishing that he didn't always make me feel like a silly child that he hung out with because it amused him.
"I'm good to go," I said decisively. "Do you have a Portkey?"
"I thought we'd walk or Apparate. I guess I should have checked the footwear situation with you first," he smirked again. "We'll flag down a Portkey once we get onto the main road."
As I wobbled down the street in my wedge heels, Draco took my elbow. He didn't do holding hands. In fact, he scorned all public displays of affection, unlike Ron who'd been happy to snog me when we queued up for class at Hogwarts and in shop doorways in Hogsmeade, and he had always reached for my hand as soon as he saw me. But Ron was the past and Draco was right now, and I didn't want to think about any possible boy-shapes that might be lurking in the future.
The party was being held at a tacky nightclub as Hogwarts was closed over summer and everywhere was booked up in Hogsmeade. So we had to go to the local town area, which of course meant we were in the atmosphere of Muggles, which Draco was trying to get used to. It actually surprised me on how much Draco had changed ever since his father had been locked in Azkaban. Though he still didn't get along with Harry and Ron as much as I would like, but that's the way life is sometimes.
As Draco caught sight of two bouncers on the door and gangs of muggle lads in pastel shirts, reeking of cheap aftershave who were queuing to get in, he shuddered.
"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," he said.
"Wait 'til you get inside," I teased. "They have plastic palm trees and a dance floor that lights up."
"One of your regular haunts is it?"
"Italian Tony from work had his birthday party here," I explained. "There was a massive fight and I saw this guy get glassed. It was horrible and his girlfriend was crying because there was blood on her dress."
"Hermione," said Draco. "I'll give it an hour and if it sucks we're off."
The bouncers unclipped the velvet rope and let us through. "You could at least pretend that you wanted to be here." I told him. "Not everyone can be as cool as you are."
"That's for sure." He remarked. "What do you want to drink? One of those disgusting alcopops that you seem to love so much?"
I nodded and he disappeared in the direction of the bar. Standing on my own in a nightclub is not one of my most favourite occupations. I tried to assume a nonchalant I'm-just-waiting-for-50-of-my- best-friends-to-come-back-from-the-loo pose but I was sure everybody was staring at me and thinking that I was a complete loser who had no mates.
Suddenly I felt two hands squeeze my waist and I started in surprise.
"Alright, gorgeous?" enquired Harry, my bestest boy bud, probably because I've been his friend for seven years and we've only been good friends and nothing else, I could trust him more than any other boy.
"You look like a strawberry milkshake."
I turned around and smiled at Harry; with him calling me a strawberry milkshake it didn't make me get all defensive. "I'm so glad you're here. I feel all out of sorts," I said, giving him a friendly hug.
"So which of your many male admirers have you brought tonight?" Harry wanted to know.
"I'm here with Draco," I said darkly. "But I'm not sure it was a good idea. I don't think he's in a party mood and he wants to go in an hour."
"Oh, him." Harry replied, rolling his eyes.
"He's changed a lot since."
"Voldemort was defeated." Harry finished.
"No, I was going to say since his dad was locked up. Since his dad was the one who was teaching him to turn out bad."
"I still think he's bad though anyway."
"He's alright when you get to know him a bit better," I insisted. "He's really funny."
"Yeah, funny peculiar," said Harry. "And what about Ron?"
"What about him? He's going out with Veronique. End of story."
"And he just happens to have a summer job as a short-order cook in the café where you work!" exclaimed Harry. "Can you say coincidence?"
I was just on the verge of opening my mouth to cut him dead with a crushing retort when he took my hand and dragged me towards the lit-up dance-floor that I'd been taunting Draco about. I tried to loosen Harry's grip but he was having none of it.
"Harry!" I hissed. "Draco'll be looking for me."
"But its Horny Horny Horny," protested Harry. "It's out song!"
Harry whirled me round like we were on Come Dancing and I had no choice but to give in. That's the other thing I love about Harry. He's the only boy I can dance with without being afraid about how ridiculous we both looked.
I finally managed to disentangle myself from Harry when I heard the dreaded word, "The Vengabus is coming." My feet were not happy. I was sure there were some blister-type things going on but I was more worried about Draco. I eventually found him slouched against a pillar looking like he was having the worst night of his life. My heart sank; he could get really weird about stuff like this. I hobbled over to him, hoping he wasn't going to be too angry.
"Sorry, I bumped into Harry.," I began, but he smiled and handed me my lukewarm drink.
"It's okay, Herm, you don't have to explain," he shouted above the music. "I like watching you dance. You really should think about going into live entertainment. As long as you don't expect me to join in."
"That's something I'd like to see," I told him. There was a bit of an awkward silence as Draco just looked at me. This always seemed to happen. His conversation tails off and as I desperately think of something to say, Draco looks at me while I get more and more embarrassed. I get so flustered and aware of myself; I start to want him to kiss me more than anything else in the whole world.
I could feel my cheeks flushing and I turned my head away from him. Draco gently grabbed my chin with one hand so he could see my face.
"What do you want?" he enquired throatily.
"I don't know," I said breathlessly. "I want to sit down and I.I'm really hot." Please kiss me, I silently begged him and I was just about to do something incredibly sappy, like plead with him to snog me, when Parvati and Lavender came over to say hello.
"We interrupting anything?" Asked Parvati, sensing the atmosphere.
"Hermione and I were having a moment," Draco said, putting an arm around me and pulling me closer.
"Hi," I managed to get finally out. "I'm just having a bit of a hot flush."
"Hmmmm, you look all weird," commented Lavender. "Like you've been on a cross-country run."
"I've been dancing with Harry," I continued. "Anyway I didn't think you two were coming. It's not really our scene, is it?" They both looked a bit shifty.
"What have I missed?" I said suspiciously.
"We didn't think you were coming either," said Parvati.
"We've come here to get a snog from every wizard we ever fancied at Hogwarts."
"And we're not leaving until we do," finished Lavender fiercely.
I could feel Draco tense up. "I think I'd better get Hermione out of here before you two give her any ideas," he said smoothly. "I hope you've brought some lip balm, it sounds like you're going to need it."
I could tell that Parvati and Lavender weren't sure whether Draco was laughing with them or at them, and to tell you the truth I didn't either.
"Hey, rewind," I said, flashing Draco a warning look.
"We've only just got here. I want to spend some time with my friends."
Draco shrugged in a fairly good impression of someone who was fine with the idea, but I could see a flash of annoyance on his face.
"I'll go and see Matt then while you compare nail varnish or whatever it is you girls talk about," and he sauntered off in the direction of the DJ booth where one of his Slytherin friends from Hogwarts was hanging out.
Parvati and Lavender visibly relaxed. "I'm surprised he doesn't have you magically tagged," sniped Lavender as we grabbed a booth.
"I can't believe I'm seeing a boy who all my mates loathe," I said miserably. "I know he can be sarcastic but he can be really sweet too. Honest."
"Are you trying to convince us or yourself?" asked Lavender as she took a sip of her lurid pink cocktail.
"I'm really confused about the way he makes me feel half the time." I confessed. "When he gets all toxic on me I end up wanting to kiss him."
"Classic evasion tactic," explained Parvati, whose uncles a psychologist. "You think that when he kisses you, he'll stop being all arsy. Whereas he's being arsy 'cause he knows it makes you uncomfortable and then he gets to be the one in control. Do you know what I mean?"
"No, not really," I said, rolling my eyes.
"She means he's a complete control freak, Hermione," said Lavender in an exasperated voice. "You practically had to beg for his permission to spend time with us."
"It's complicated," I said trying to explain. "You know when I had that mini-fling with my ex.,"
"Ron?"
"Yeah, well it left Draco convinced that I wasn't the most trustworthy girl, 'cause I was kinda seeing him at the same time," I finished unhappily. "You must think I'm a terrible person, like, boy-obsessed or something."
"Everyone has boy issues," said Lavender consolingly. "I once had three boys on the go 'cause I couldn't make up my mind which one I fancied."
"But you're with Draco now right?" asked Parvati. "So he should get over it."
I gave a deep sigh. "But he refuses to acknowledge the fact that we're practically going steady. He just says that we should keep it loose, but."
"But?" prompted Parvati.
"He reckons that if we are going out then we should, you know, um, have sex, but I'm not sure," I managed to stammer. "It seems like a lousy reason."
"Right!" agreed Lavender. "It's one thing to have sex 'cause you're in a serious relationship with someone you care about. But to do it with someone in the hope that he might actually admit that you're already having a relationship, well that's just stupid."
"Hermione what the hell are you doing with him?" Parvati demanded.
"I don't know," I moaned. "I know he can be difficult but it's exciting just the same."
"Boys can be such jerks," said Lavender feelingly.
There was a moment's silence as we all contemplated the jerkdom of the male species. I looked up to see Draco looming over me.
"Hermione, please can we go?" he begged. I looked over at Parvati and Lavender. They were no help.
"See you at rehearsal tomorrow then," they both chirped and slid out of the booth. "Right let's find our first victim," Lavender added.
"Good luck!" I called after them.
Which left just me and Draco. He ran a finger down my cheek, "Let's get the hell out of here." We got another Portkey back to my house and the minute I opened the front door I kicked my wedgies off.
"Ow!" I whimpered. "My feet are killing me."
Draco laughed and followed me into the lounge. I made some tea and he dumped all the cushions off the settee so we could sprawl out on the floor and listen to the WWN (Wizarding Wireless Network).
We drank our tea in companionable silence. When there aren't any other people around Draco completely chills out. He's funny and we talk about books and films and play 'Anywhere But Here' which involves describing in great detail where you'd be and what you'd be wearing if you were actually, erm, anywhere but here. Draco's even better at 'Anywhere But Here' than I am. And Draco always strokes Crookshanks, my cat, until she's all purred out and it makes me think I could really love him.
Ok, I can't talk to Draco like I used to talk to Ron. I mean, I could tell Ron anything, all the secret stuff that I'd never tell anyone else and I know that he'd understand and wouldn't judge me. I never go that deep with Draco 'cause on some level I know that the closer I let him get, the more he'll be able to hurt me someday. Could my thought patterns be any skewier?
By that time a classic song by the Weird Sisters had finished, I was stretched out on the carpet while Draco lay over me, his hands gently pinning my arms to my side while he nibbled my bottom lip. He let go of my wrists and trailed a hand down my side until I felt him start to push the skirt of my dress up my leg. I kind of blissed out as he tickled the underside of my knee but when his hand reached mid-thigh I tugged away. Draco behaved himself for a while and concentrated on kissing me until I was gasping for breath but as he reached under me and started to inch my zip down.I sat up and pushed him away.
"No!" I yelped.
"No?" he asked, reaching for me again but I brushed his hands away. Draco got to his feet and gave me an annoyed look.
"I'm not going to wait forever, Hermione," he said. "You have to lose it sometime, you might as well lose it with me."
"It just doesn't seem right," I tried to explain. "I'm not ready, it's too soon."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Is it me?" he wanted to know. "Are you scared?"
"I don't know. I suppose so. Sometimes I think you're only interested in me 'cause, you know, you want to."
"God, you can't even say it," said Draco sounding really impatient. "People have sex, it's no big deal."
"Well, it is to me," I muttered. "I want it to be special. I want to lose my virginity with someone who lo.who really cares for me."
Draco shook his head. "I've gotta go," he said. "I'll owl you."
I scrambled to my feet. "Don't be mad with me," I begged, trying to give him a hug. He gently but firmly held me off.
"I'll owl you," he repeated and he vanished before I could say another word.