A/N - Eh, I got bored. And I've gotta wake up in six hours, so of course tonights the night when I've got a bunch of useless energy.
Disclaimer - All belongs to Square, blah blah, EXCEPT Rikku's line about her exit. That's from Drake and Josh. xDD
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He was always there, just on the other side of my wall. I could press my ear against it and imagine I heard him in his room, walking around, sometimes fiddling with things - he moved his furniture a LOT. I figured it was just a weird thing he did, like how I have my personal 'My Little Shoopuf' collection.
Uh… you can ignore that last part.
So one night I decided to watch him. And no, it is so not stalking. It's just watching someone repeatedly and often without their expressed permission.
Okay, okay, I decided to stalk him.
I planted myself in the closet, which I knew he never opened because the door squeaks and I would've heard it. (Hee.) And then I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
The plan had been to jump out, scare the daylights out of him, and then run away. Just for fun. Just to see him. Just to get in his hair.
And now he wasn't showing up.
I paced in the closet - which wasn't easy because it was only about two feet wide. Why wasn't he coming?
Eventually, I must have fallen asleep in there - he was gone that long. Because the next thing I knew, someone was shaking me and calling my name. I opened my eyes and blinked stupidly in the light, gazing up at someone's hazy figure.
HIS hazy figure.
"CRAP!" I shouted. I jumped up, only to smash my head against the little rod-thingy that the clothes hang on. That led to me cursing feverishly in Al Bhed, rubbing my forehead and glaring at him.
"WHAT?" I demanded. "I was sleeping!"
"In my closet?" he asked. "You like me that much?"
Oopsie. "It's not YOUR closet, it's mine! You're just… using it temporarily!" Oh yes, what a fantastic reply. Just stunning.
"Geez, I come back and search the place frantically for you only to find you asleep in my closet." He shook his head, his hair bouncing. Then he suddenly looked very serious and leaned in toward me.
I couldn't believe it. HE was making a move? On ME?
Well, I take it back, I believed it, but I couldn't have been more excited.
I leaned in slowly…
He kept coming toward me…
And then he whispered in my ear, "You snore."
"OOOH!" And without further ado, I kneed him in the happy spot.
"Oof!" He fell over and I walked triumphantly across the room, headed toward the door, confident there would be no other questions about why I'd been in his closet.
And then, of course, I tripped over his shoes by the doorway and fell flat on my face.
Even in pain, he managed a sort of grunt-chuckle-groan. I turned red and pushed myself up, turning to stare at him, still lying on the floor. "I may have tripped, but that does NOT diminish the impact of this exit!"
I left him looking startled at my sentence - maybe because I'd sounded so confident in myself, maybe because I've never used the words "diminish" and "impact" successfully in a sentence before. At least, not in Spiran, and not during a grand exit.
But I walked in circles in my room, determined to spy on him again. Because I knew, now that I'd been in his closet, I'd find him in mine soon enough.
So on that note, the next day I put double-sided tape all over the floor in the closet, on the inside of the door, and I put Clasko's Never-Dry Clear Glue on the walls. (He had to do SOMETHING before he raised the chocobos, eh?)
If he was gonna spy on me, I'd like to see him get stuck in there.