I still don't own Chuck. I'm not sure who does at this point.

I've been toying with this idea for a while. And okay, this is pure silliness. Not to be taken seriously. Or is it?

We're at the beginning of Season 5. Chuck needs the Buy More to be profitable to fund the struggling Carmichael Industries. Having a Jeffster concert might be a draw. The one problem, Jeffster is not really a draw. Every rock band needs a draw, right? And what better draw than a half dressed smoking hot blonde playing the tambourine and bouncing around the stage. I mean, look what it did for Brittney Spears.

I would still appreciate your comments. The worst thing for an author is silence. You can't tell if you're connecting with your readers, if they're getting where you think the story is going or not. And those comments don't have to be praise. Of course, I'd be lying if I tried to say that I don't enjoy the praise. But I actually learn more from the critical comments. Just as long as you're respectful and allow me to respond, you can say anything.

Sarah vs Jeffster

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"So what are we going to do?"

Sarah looked at her husband carefully. She hadn't seen him this depressed in a long, long time, certainly not since they had been officially together. So she reached over and grabbed one of the hands he had his face buried in. "Don't worry, Chuck," she said soothingly. "We'll figure something out. We've been in a lot worse spots."

"The CIA freezing our assets has us in a very bad situation," Chuck sighed. "We need for the Buy More to become more profitable. That would take the pressure off of C.I. for a while until we become more established and can compete head on with Verbanski."

Sarah smiled at her husband. "That's a good idea," she said. "The problem is that the Buy More barely breaks even. They've always made a small profit, but certainly not enough to fund Carmichael Industries. That's been true for years. We knew that when we bought it. We'd have to increase sales. Any ideas on how we do that?"

Finally Chuck's eyes got back a little of their normal twinkle. "Not really," he said. "We have to do something to drive traffic to the store. Jeff keeps bugging me about doing a promotional Jeffster concert. That normally would be a good idea. The problem is that they… they…"

"They suck?" Sarah finished his thought. "I know that maybe I'm not an expert on music. But…"

"They really suck," Chuck agreed sadly. "You're right about that. It wouldn't be much of a promotion. We need a gimmick."

"A gimmick?" Sarah asked. "What kind of gimmick? Maybe we could sell earplugs. That might turn a profit."

That didn't get the laugh Sarah expected. "Lot's of rock bands suck," Chuck said. "Well maybe not as bad as Jeffster. But historically they all came up with some other reason to draw people. Kiss painted their faces. Alice Cooper dressed up like some goth version of a woman. Britney Spears…"

Seeing Chuck trail off in thought suddenly had Sarah interested. "Okay," she said. "Who is Britney Spears and what did she do?"

Chuck didn't answer. He just pushed a few keys on his laptop and a video started playing. "She did this," he said with a smile.

Now Sarah understood. "Ah," she said. "I get it. Sex. I should have known. This looks like a scene right out of 'Inducement of Enemy Personnel' training."

"Exactly," Chuck said, his smile turning into a growing grin.

Sarah locked eyes with him. "Chuck," she said in horror. "No way. Come on. I don't know a thing about music."

"Listen closely for a minute," Chuck said. "Tell me. Does she know a thing about music? All you can hear has been electronically altered. And she was a huge, huge star. The truth is that you're much prettier than she is. You're ten times a much better dancer. I've heard you sing. You actually have a nice voice. Whatever notes you can't hit, we can always alter. And not to be indelicate, but who would care anyway? They'd be too busy watching you dance around the stage. You can't claim to be shy. You're already used to wearing skimpy outfits in public. I'm telling you, this would work."

Sarah was clearly not convinced. "You know that I would do anything to help," she said. "Are you sure you'd be okay with this? It might get pretty wild."

"I'm okay with you being in the band," Chuck said. "By definition, it's a performance. If you actually do get famous, we'll have to talk about the whole sex, drugs, and rock and roll thing. But I can't ever picture you getting sucked into that culture."

"You're right about that," Sarah sighed. "Okay. What exactly would I have to do?"

Chuck had already retrieved his guitar from the bedroom. "Let's work on some things," he said. "I'll pretend that I'm Lester."

That got Sarah laughing. At least Chuck was in a better mood. That had to be a good thing, right? "Lester, huh?" she asked. "I'll pretend I just took a shower."

That got Chuck laughing helplessly as well. Clearly he was in a much, much better mood. At least the twinkle in his eyes said so. "Maybe we should work on your appearance first," he said. "I've heard that it helps performing in front of a large crowd if you practice naked."

Chuck was teasing her. Sarah knew that. And normally she would have made fun of the lame attempt to get her naked. Not this time. They had been spending all of their time since getting back from their honeymoon trying to get Carmichael Industries off the ground. That combined with the financial tension of the past few weeks had made quite a dent in their sex life, a sex life that Sarah had grown completely dependant on. Truth be told, if she could parlay this practice time into a trip to the bedroom, well she was going to be totally prepared to take full advantage. "I have heard that," she agreed.

Sarah had no choice but to grin at his wide surprised eyes seeing her clothes quickly hit the floor. "Understand something," she said as soon as she was wearing only the grin.

"I'm not pretending that you're Lester anymore."

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Chuck and Sarah stood outside listening while Jeff and Lester were just finishing up a song. Morgan had obtained permission from Chuck to allow them to use the employee break room to practice after the store closed.

"Oh my God," Sarah giggled. "Is this a good idea? Will anybody come to listen to those guys?"

"Of course not," Chuck agreed. "Don't underestimate yourself. They are going to come to see and listen to you. I can't believe how well you did. Right now, you could be the headliner. We'll have to find a solo for you to sing."

"You're a much better singer than any of us," Sarah said. "Maybe you should join the band."

"Nobody would come to see me," Chuck said. "You were amazing. Besides, I'll be busy doing the electronics."

"You were pretty amazing too, stud," Sarah teased. "Unfortunately, I think you were talking about the singing. Or maybe not. Was your performance in bed this afternoon what I can expect from all of my groupies? Or just you? I think I'm going to like being a rock star."

That got them both laughing. "Yeah," Chuck said. "About that. I think you probably know my position on groupies. We probably should limit this particular discussion to just band type stuff. Once he sees how you're barely dressed, Lester is going to be even more impossible to control than he already is."

Sarah just grinned at him. "Don't worry about controlling Lester," she said.

"I've got this one."

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"What are you talking about?" Lester asked, like only Lester could. "We're in the middle of rehearsing."

"Actually, you haven't started yet," Chuck said. "That was the old band. We've decided you need some help. Meet your new backup vocalist."

Jeff and Lester both looked at each other in confusion. "Backup vocalist?" Jeff finally asked. "Can she sing?"

"She's amazing," Chuck said. "Besides, look at her. Does it really matter?"

For the first time the guys realized how Sarah was dressed. Lester looked at her much like a hungry wolf would look at a wounded deer. "This might be interesting," he said with a smirk. "Tell me, what's in this for me?"

Suddenly Lester found himself pressed against the wall with Sarah's left forearm across his throat. Sarah grabbed her left wrist with her right hand and used it as leverage to press even harder for a moment, just to prove to him that she had total control. Not that any proof was needed. Lester's wide eyes indicated his total surrender.

"What's in this for you?" Sarah asked sarcastically. "How about the privilege of keeping both of your testicles? I've seen how you two walk over everybody. I'm not blind. Let's get something straight. I'm not Chuck. I'm not Morgan. I'm not even Big Mike. Those guys were far too nice to deal with you effectively. Trust me, that's not at all how anybody would ever describe me. I may look like the girl next door, but if you mess with me, even a little bit, it'll be the biggest mistake of your pathetic life. We are now the new Jeffster. You're the lead vocalist. Chuck is our manager and Technical Director. But make no mistake. When we're together, I'm completely in charge. When I tell you to jump, I don't want you to pause to ask how high. To sell this, you and I are going to have to interact on stage quite a lot and somewhat intimately. That might give the impression to some that we are developing a romantic relationship. In fact, Chuck tells me that illusion would be good publicity for us. But if you ever, and I mean literally ever, take advantage of that and do anything that approaches inappropriate, your going to wake up some morning and discover that your left testicle has somehow become detached from your body and has mysteriously found it's way into my purse. If you think that was hyperbole in any way or an idle threat, you're ever stupider than I thought. Tell me, Lester, do we fully understand each other?"

Lester was far too frightened to do anything except nod… as much as Sarah's arm across his throat would allow anyway.

Sarah turned her angry glare towards Jeff, who was standing there in shock with his mouth hanging open. "You?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Jeff said, his voice no more than a whisper.

It was like someone turned on a light switch. "Good," Sarah said as she smiled and gently helped Lester to a seat.

"This isn't all bad," Chuck said soothingly. "Sarah has a real chance to make you successful. Think about it. Imagine Sarah as your wingman. If she wants to, she could really help you out with the ladies."

Lester finally had recovered his wits enough to speak. "You'd do that?" he asked.

Sarah's smile simply lit up the room. "Maybe," she said. "If you behave I might be talked into rewarding you. Let's face some facts. I can get you women that you would normally never have a chance with. And I can make those groupies frantic to please you in any way you would choose, if you know what I mean."

In negotiations there is a point where the offer is great and it's time to close. Jeff and Lester locked eyes. The sparkle said that point had clearly been left standing in the dust. It was Jeff who formalized it. "Deal," he said. "What do we do now?"

"We practice," Chuck said. "Let's take our first set from the top. Lester, sing the songs just like you normally do. Sarah will join in on some of the choruses. If it doesn't work, we'll stop and figure it out." Chuck grinned at the eager looks.

"Welcome to the new Jeffster."

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A/N: If you're a Kiss or Alice Cooper fan, I didn't mean to imply that they aren't talented. Britney Spears fans… deal with it, lol.

I planned on this being a one shot. But there is some more story to possibly tell. Can Sarah make the band popular? Does she like being a rock star? Can she really get hot women for Jeff and Lester? Does their success alter the plans for Carmichael Industries? Does it affect their marriage? Plans for a family?

I don't know the answers, lol.

If there is enough interest, maybe we'll find out together.

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