This is a song fic about our dear old Comrade . I couldn't resist…. I have to give him something so I figured Tomorrow by Chris Young could fit him. Since he's trying so desperately to let her go but he still has his moments…of TLC for her… haha. Trying to channel Dimitri…. It's my first try so be nice! Hahaha. I'm better with Rose, I can relate more with her than Dimitri.

Disclaimer: Me NO Own Vampire Academy!

Any mistakes are my own or Midnights haha…. Enjoy!

I had to be the most ungrateful bastard in the world. I just ripped out the heart of the woman who crossed oceans to save me from my damnation. I tore it out with my sharp tongue and watched as it stopped beating. I watched the life leave her beautiful chocolate eyes as my words sank in.

It was rather simple and logical to do it. I don't deserve her love, I don't deserve her kindness, and I sure as hell don't deserve her.

I tortured her, I used her, I drank from her, and I toyed with her . I, Dimitri Belikov, am a monster. Lissa should have never saved me from my damnation. Rose shouldn't have come up with the idea to bring me back. I don't want to be alive. I've murdered innocent people. I've bleed children dry. I've ripped innocent bystander's throats out because they pissed me off.

But none of that can compare to what I did to my Roza… She had been so beautiful and avenging standing there. Her beautiful dark brown locks flowed in the wind as she met my crimson eyes with her beautiful chocolate. I seen the shock and the horror blossom to the surface as her eyes widened.

On the inside I was screaming at her to run, to not hesitate. But on the outside,, the dark..Dark outside…..I wanted Rose. She would be a perfect queen. A loyal fighter and a great leader, after all, I'm the one who trained her. I've trained her well, she's killed at least 20 of our kind while she's been here. She's lethal, a woman on a mission… I knew I shouldn't have, but some small part of me, was fascinated by the extremes that woman would go for me.

I felt a sob rising up from my chest as I wrapped my arms around my knees. Visions of what I did to Rose danced behind my eyelids. Mocking me. I remembered the feel of my fangs sinking into her neck. The sweet taste of her blood as it rushed down my throat replenishing my thirst.

The moans she would release, I remember the rush I had felt. The burning hunger I had for her. She was just one simple dhampir but I still desired her.

If I knew no one would have caught us, I would have taken her. She was so desirable to me, Dhampir or Strigoi. It didn't matter to me, Rose was beautiful. Every man wanted her, everyone desired her. It's both a blessing and a curse that she wants me. She loves me, I can see it as plain as day. The way her eyes used to lighten up when she was around me. That playful smile she wore , the way her chocolate hair swayed in the sunlight as she snuck out almost every day.

I remembered her passion, the love, and the sheer determination that filled my Roza. She would never back down for what she believed in. She protected the weak and helped the strong. She didn't put up with shit from anybody. She would never give in willingly. Rose had a special take on life and it attracted people to her. She was the sun and we were her planets orbiting around her.

I saw everything within Rose. I know her strengths and her weaknesses. I know her fears and I know her loves. I know Rose more than I know myself.

Which is why I can't be with her, I don't know myself when I'm around her. I'm different, it's like how I used to be when I was younger and I can't be that way. I'm terrified that I'll hurt her again, I can't stand the thought of causing my Rose anymore physical pain. I can't be like my father.

Being a constant reminder of my father was what disgusted me the most while being a strigoi. Every time I would kill someone, the image of my father doing that to my mother burned its way into my sane mind. The insane, the strigoi part liked the angry emotions…I couldn't take it. I'd treated Rose the same way that ..That …bastard had my mother… I'm more of a monster than he could ever be…

Right now I'm sitting in the back of the church. I'd just torn Rose apart. But she would heal, Rose was tough. She can heal from anything.

After all, She's Rose Hathaway..

A few days later…

I haven't seen Rose since the church. Lissa hasn't seen much of her either. I know she' s strong. I know she will heal. Rose is tough and she's just that good. She's so strong and a force to be reckoned with. I'm in the small Café they have at church.

Even though I'm surrounded by people, the noise is welcoming. It's not so quiet I'm going insane and it's easy to drown out if I get into my book good enough.

The Wild West is a fascinating world. Bank robbers, saloon fights, sheriffs, Life would be so much easier if we settled things the way they did in the west. If they had a fight, they'd battle it out with their pistols. Good vs. Evil. There was no gray just black and white. The west was untamed and wild and …just so appealing.

I felt her before I seen her. Rose and I always knew where each other was. I don't know how but I knew it was her before she walked into the café. I looked up and met her eyes for a moment. She looked horrible, there were bags underneath her tired brown eyes. Her usual beautiful hair was pulled back in a messy bun. She looked away heading to place her order.

Her movements weren't as graceful as they used to be and her pants seemed loose. She's lost at least 15 pounds. Usually Rose wore her pants skin tight to show off the beautiful curves she had but now…She seemed to be hiding.

I stuck my nose back into my book. She didn't need to know I had been watching her. I felt her walking away to the other table when one of my guardians asked her a question.

She didn't get the chance to answer because the Queens guards came to take her away.

Rage filled me at the way they tried to touch her. Rose was mine, no one could touch her. She wasn't meant to be hurt and I'll be damned if I let them take her from me.

I jumped to my feet and grabbed the first guard. To be the Guardians of the Queen they weren't very competent or skilled. I moved onto the next one as quickly as I defeated the first.

I was ready to defend Roza, to at least let her escape and let them take me instead.

I grabbed the third before I felt her touch me. Her soft hands gripped my skin and filled me with so many emotions. Want, need, and love burned through me before I remembered the pain I inflicted her, the disgust returned with a vengeance as I gazed into her brown eyes as she told me to stop.

I didn't understand at first but then it hit me as I let the guard go, they would take me away.

"Rose Hathaway you are under arrest for high treason" the guard holding her spoke as he secured the handcuffs on her wrists.

" What kind of treason" I heard her soft voice question as I felt a rush of fear burning through me. A dark feeling came over me and I knew this couldn't be god.

" The murder of Her Royal Majesty, Queen Tatiana" He voiced before they took her away leaving the café in an array of disaster.

I was stunned, shocked, and scared. Rose….kill the queen? I vacated the café before the guards took me away.

I needed time to think, I needed time to breath, and realize what was happening to me.

These emotions poured through me as I returned to my room. Rose would be killed if the real killer wasn't arrested. I knew my Roza wasn't capable of murder. ..She wasn't my Roza anymore though…She was his. I desperately needed to let go of her.

I made it to my room without interruption. Maybe it was the solemn look on my face or maybe the post strigoi status I still held above my head that made people wary of me.

I don't care about any of that right now, Rose needs to be freed. Her spirit is to wild to even be able to stay in a prison cell for even an hour. She's untamed and needs to stay that way.

I turned my radio on and listened to the soothing sounds of country as I tried to clear my head to think of what I could do for Roza….

Tomorrow I'm gonna leave here.
I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would.
And tomorrow, I'm gonna listen.
To that voice of reason inside my head telling me that we're no good.

I need to let Rose go, I love her so much and I need to help her but she deserves so much more than what I can give. I'm a monster, I'm exactly like my father, and I drank from her. I held her hostage…. I can't feel this way about her anymore….

As soon as I help the others figure out a way to save Rose, I'll leave. It will be the best for her and for Vasalisa. I know I swore that I'd do anything for her and this is it. I'll leave her with Rose. Rose is the best option.

But tonight I'm gonna give in one last time.
Rock you strong in these arms of mine.
Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow.

I remembered all the times I've shared with Rose…my chest felt heavy as I remembered the cabin. She'd been so scared of herself. So shocked that she could lose control like that. That something could control her so strongly and she couldn't do anything about it. She didn't know that I was as scared as she was. I was terrified, Rose was everything to me. She understood me, she listened to me, she KNEW me..I could never lose her without her knowing how special she was to me. How much I truly loved her and how desperately I needed her….

We're like fire and gasoline.
I'm no good for you.
You're no good for me.
We only bring each other tears and sorrow.
But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow.

I will help them save her. After all, Rose is the only woman I've ever truly loved. She's the reason behind so many things for me. I can't be with her anymore. I can't.

Tomorrow I'll be stronger.
I'm not gonna break down and call you up when my heart cries out for you.
And tomorrow, you won't believe it,
but when I pass your house,
I won't stop no matter how bad I want to.

Rose is too passionate while I can't show it to her, I'm not capable of expressing it anymore. She's fearless and I'm terrified of hurting her. I'm scared of the monster I became with her. She's like a hurricane and I'm a shaky frameless building in her wake. I can't be with her anymore. No matter how much I want to be with her I can't. She doesn't deserve a damaged man who can't love her like she deserves...

Baby when we're good, you know we're great.
But there's too much bad for us to think, that there's anything worth trying to save.

When we were together I felt happiness beyond words. I had felt complete, whole, and loved. I felt like I was home with my family again. I felt the warmth she held within her. The love for me burned so bright it could consume me forever. The way we were together was astonishing. She believed we were soul mates and at one time I did too.

But how can you be soul mates with someone you've tortured? With someone you've taken blood from? With someone you turned into a bloodwhore for your own sick sadistic pleasure?

Rose is pure, no matter what anyone says. She has a kind heart with a stubborn protective personality. Rose is all things good and honest. She has her little problems but Rosemarie Hathaway is a good woman, a beautiful and powerful woman.

I, on the other hand, am tainted. I've murdered hundreds of people. I've killed little children…I got off on tearing them apart watching as blood dripped down their bodies as the others licked them clean. I've drank from pregnant women and left them to die. I've ripped babies from inside of them and fed them to the others... I've torn people apart just because they tasted wrong. I've….tortured and tormented so many innocents that I'll never get a decent night of sleep again. There is nothing I can do to fix the damaged goods inside of me.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna leave here.
I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would.

I have to leave Rose, after all this is done, I have to leave. I have to get away. She's a storm and I'm too wrapped up. No matter what I've told her, no matter how I feel right now or in the future. No matter what I think or say, I will always love Rose. After all, she's my Roza…

One day she will thank me for what I'm doing. She will understand…. I have to help her right now but when it's over….I'll be away from her and I'll never hurt her again….

Well my hand at trying to vent Dimitri, I don't think it turned out well because its kind of scatterbrained but then again he's not thinking straight at the moment any who. With the kind of stress that poor man has went through…. I hope it's not too horrible. I felt like he deserved something from me if you guys like it let me know, I'll try another one later on… this song has just stuck with me and there's another one I have in my head for him but it will be a happier songfic….

Reviews are nice!

Four Little Words will be updated soon! I'm halfway through the next update! so either late tonight or tomorrow!