Hey guys! So I wrote this about a month ago, but I was debating about posting it because I didn't know if I'd have enough time to update it along with my other two fics. Also, I have another fic that's pretty similar to this - Lydia harboring this secret crush on Stiles when he's with Malia - so I wasn't sure if I wanted to just merge the two or keep them separate. I know that I want the other one to have multiple chapters. So please let me know what you think and review this! Thanks for reading :)

Ever since I found out that I was a banshee my feeling for Stiles have been growing if not evident. He's always been obsessively annoying growing up, and when I found out about Jackson and everyone else's supernatural involvement I realized that I had no other choice but to interact with him.

Why this happened? I don't know. I didn't want to fall in love anymore. I mean, not this soon. When Aiden came around I obviously wanted a distraction, and he gave me that. He distracted me from reality for moments at a time, which was great. Until I was with Stiles and he brought me back to life. I know that sounds cliché and it makes me the stupid girl who fell in love with the guy too late.

That's why this was so hard to deal with. I knew that Stiles had moved on. Malia was obviously into him, and he was clearly attracted to her. They spent time together, they smiled at each other a lot, sat really close together at lunch, and sucked each other's faces off in between classes. It's safe to say they were a thing.

So why was I here in his drive way? Why was I telling myself that he'd be excited to see me? And why was I thinking when I left that things would be different between us?

Before I totally chickened out I rang the doorbell. A few moments passed and the door opened. "Lydia," The Sheriff smiled. "Haven't seen you here in a while." He motioned for me to step inside.

I shrugged as I did so. "You know…"

To my surprise he knew exactly why I hadn't been around. Honestly, it probably wasn't that hard to guess why. "Hopefully things will be back to normal soon. I miss having you around."

"I miss being around."

He gave me a small smile. "He's upstairs. I'm on my way out. Headed to the station. I'll see you later, hopefully?" He stepped out of the door.

"Maybe." I tucked my hair behind my ear.

He gave me a full smile before leaving.

As I headed upstairs I wondered how long the Sheriff suspected that I had feelings for his son. What if Stiles wasn't alone? John would've told me if he wasn't. That's if Malia comes through the front door. If even heard a female voice I was bolting.

Childish Gambino was playing in the background. The door was open as I approached his room. There he was. A spike of fear jolted through my body at the sight of him. What I wasn't prepared to see was him towel drying his dark brown hair as water dripped down his surprisingly muscular chest. I was thankful that he had on a pair of lacrosse shorts. If I had the opportunity to see water dripping down his entire body I would probably jump on that like a fat kid at a buffet. No offense to fat kids and all, but my sexual attraction to Stiles has been ravenous lately. I think about him when I'm with Aiden, I think about him when I'm in by myself and in the shower. Basically, I think about him in any and all sexual situations.

"Lydia?"

My eyes focused on Stiles, who was starting at me with surprised eyes.

"Are you okay?"

I stepped in the room. "Yeah, I just…" My eyes went to his bare chest.

He came at me, wrapping me into his tight embrace. His muscles contracted around me, his tight abs pressed against my stomach.

I tried my best to suppress a moan as I hugged him back. His body wash hit me like a brick. It should be called, Make Lydia Ready To Go instead of whatever it was.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

He pulled away first, which was a first. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded unable to use my words.

"So you're just here to see me?" He asked, surprised.

I smiled as I headed for his bed, then remembered the activities that took place on the sheets, I stood awkwardly by it.

He laughed. "Their clean, I promise." He smiled in a charming way.

This was what I was talking about. Stiles didn't seem like the hyperactive teen with a decade long crush on me anymore. He was a man. A confident and sexy man. An example would be how he didn't rush to put on his shirt after I sat down. Maybe he was used to be naked around Malia. No complaints came from me, but it was hard to think.

He searched through his closet for a shirt after I averted my eyes for a few awkward moments.

I bit my bottom lip as water ran down his back. I wanted to lick my way up his muscular back. I wanted to run my hands down his abs and into-

"Lydia," He called loudly.

"What?" I met his whiskey eyes. He now had on a black shirt.

"What are you doing?"

Could he read my mind? I've always wondered how far our emotional tether connection went. If he could I'd be thoroughly embarrassed. "What do you mean?"

He rolled his eyes. "Nevermind."

I didn't want him to be annoyed with me. I wanted him to be happy with me, so I reached for conversation. "How are things with Malia?"

He shrugged. "They're okay." He picked a book off the floor and placed it on his desk.

"So you really like her, huh?"

He focused on something far away before answering after a few long moments. "I'm not sure. She's great and we have fun, but…"

I felt a shortness of breath. "But?"

He wouldn't meet my eyes. "I just don't see myself really loving her. At least, not being in love with her."

My breath came back. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"I guess that means Aiden's still not doing right by you?" He sat the edge of his desk, looking naughty in an innocent way.

Aiden was complicated. He knew full well of my feelings for Stiles, he just could tell. He didn't care because he didn't really love me, which I was okay with. He would never be good enough. Not when I had my standards set to Stiles Stilinski.

A bittersweet smile broke onto my lips. "It's only a matter of time before we stop whatever it is we're doing. I'm ready for something serious." I met his eyes. "Just not with him."

His brow lifted. "That's great."

I gave a clipped laugh. "I wish I didn't go for the assholes. What's wrong with me?" Before I knew it tears were spilling over my eyes.

Stiles brought his computer chair over and sat in front of me. He handed me a tissue. "Don't cry. There's nothing wrong with you, Lydia." His whiskey eyes gazed into mine. "I would know because I was kind of obsessed with you since third grade."

I laughed.

"Do you remember that?"

I smiled as I started at him.

"I would've known if there was something wrong with you. You're perfect."

My heart was on the verge of leaping out of my chest as I huffed. "Why are you so nice to me? I was really mean to you. I don 't deserve you're friendship."

He looked shocked or maybe he was upset. "You were worth it."

I knew what he saw in me. I knew that he liked that I was smarter than a lot of people, that I was girly and feminine, that I had high expectations for myself. What I didn't understand was why he didn't move on when I didn't express my interest. Why wait for someone for eight years just to have their rejection as a constant reminder?

My hand reached out for his. "You've always been too good for me."

He was silent for several moments before asking, "Do you want to go somewhere with me?"

"What are you saying? I looked at Lydia like she had two heads. There was no way what she said was possible. "I didn't know you felt that way."

She laughed as she playfully bumped into me. "It's just that it's so greasy and unhealthy. There's no way I'm touching those curly fries." She pushed my hand away.

"No way."

"Can you break loose just once?"

She looked at me with some confusing expression. "I have fun."

I'm sure she did.

"I mean, I'm not boring." She said as more of a question. "Am I?"

I smirked, inserting a curly fry into my mouth and looking the other way. I found that being nonchalant with Lydia made her less closed off from me. She didn't see me as the nerd kid with a massive and slightly obsessively crush on her anymore, but rather a friend who she could go out in public with and talk to. At least that's how I felt she saw me as. Otherwise, she wouldn't be here with me.

Her forehead was crinkled and she had this faraway look in her eyes when I turned back to her. "If you feel like you're boring then why don't you change that? Have some fun. "I offered her the plate of curly fries. To my surprise, she actually ate one. There was a really off-putting expression on her face that I've never seen before. "Geez, don't look so excited about it." I cracked a smile.

She gave me a look of distain, which was equally as funny as the previous look. "I could taste the grease more than anything else. Stiles, how can you eat that?"

"Years of dedication and practice." I deadpanned.

She tried to hide her smile, but it was so bright that it couldn't be dimmed. Moments like this was what made me it all worth it. All that pining and longing. All that frustration. All that lusting. It didn't matter if she never wanted to be with me, this was enough because I liked to think very few people ever see this side of Lydia.

"I'm sorry." She muttered.

"What are you talking about?" As far as I knew she had nothing to apologize for.

She wouldn't meet my eyes. "I should've been there for you after everything that happened with the Nogitsune and Allison."

How was she feeling guilty for that?

"I wanted to be there for you, but I didn't know how. I'm sorry."

I could hear the genuine sadness in her voice, as a result I wanted to comfort her, but her words were bringing up my guilt. "I understand. If I was you I wouldn't want to be around me either. Not after everything I did."

She stopped walking as she looked at me with sad eyes. "Stiles, I never blamed you for that." Her green eyes bore into mine. "You have to know that."

There was so much intensity in them that I had to look away. I didn't deserve their forgiveness. I wanted it, but I hadn't expected it.

"These last few weeks have been hard without you." She slowly started down the boardwalk.

I followed at the same pace. "Really?" I didn't mean to sound desperate, but it came out that way.

She nodded, her strawberry blonde hair hide her face from my view. "You must think I take you for granted." She met my eyes. There was that intensity again. "But I don't. I'm sorry if I made you think that I don't care or appreciate you because I did. I mean, I do." She averted her eyes toward the dark ocean. "Sometimes, I wonder where I would be if I didn't know about any of this, if I didn't have any of you in my life. Especially you."

"Me?"

She crossed her arms, but didn't shiver. "It was a combination of you and Allison that humbled me."

My brow furrowed. "How did I humble you? I'm pretty sure that I followed you around like a lost puppy for most of my life. Or did you think that was me playing hard to get?"

She cracked a smile as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I was referring to when you saved me at the dance."

It was my turn to stop. "You know about that? Why didn't you say anything?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I thought it was sweet." She sighed. "I heard everything you said to Peter. I pretended not to because I wasn't ready to believe."

I wasn't quite sure where she was going with this, so I just let her talk.

"When I did believe it wasn't on option that I could rely on you. I just did. After a while, I didn't even think about it, you were just the person I went to when things went wrong. Besides Allison."

A warm feeling flooded me. I felt honored. "To be fair, I didn't really give you much of a choice, did I?"

She started walking backwards. "Well, I'm glad that you didn't."

My lips still held traces of a smile. "Why are you telling me this?"

Her smile fell as she hesitated about answering. She turned around and lowered her head, her hair hide her from me. "I'm scared."

Instinct kicked in and I wanted to hug her and comfort her. "Of what?"

My hand was almost on her shoulder when she said, "Of losing you."

I took a few steps back to take in what she said. "Why would you lose me?"

She was shaking. I took off my jacket and gave it to her even though she already had one on. She wrapped my jacket around her tightly. "You spend all of you time with Malia. I know I don't have a place to say something without sounding like a jealous ex-girlfriend."

I was a loss for words. Was she jealous? It didn't matter if she was, it just mattered that she felt left out, which was not my intention.

My hand tugged on hers, pulling her back to me. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me closer than I ever thought possible without some supernatural interference. "You're not losing me." I whispered into her ear as I hugged her back.

This time I let her break away from me. She looked up at me with wet green eyes. I couldn't believe I was having this effect on her.

"Why are you crying?"

She wiped at her eyes, her cheeks flushed. "I'm just relieved." She gave me a half smile.

I didn't like her being this upset over me. I felt extremely guilty for feeling happy. "You know, I hear that ice cream makes you feel better when you're emotional."

A hint of a smile played on her lips. "I think it's frozen yogurt you're talking about."

"What happened to having fun?"

A few minutes later we had ice cream as we talked about Scott and Kira. "I'm sure if we force them together they'll talk it out."

"Yeah. He's just nervous around her now. He doesn't know what to say." I explained.

She sighed. "Kira's no better. She's all butterflies in the stomach when she sees him. Not that I blame her. Sometimes you can't help who you like."

"Tell me about it."

She looked at me like a kicked puppy.

Shit. "That's not what I meant."

What did I mean?

She let it go as she checked her phone. I saw Aiden's name. He was asking her to come over. She replied that she couldn't, which made me smile. She started licking her chocolate ice cream, and I had to turn away because it shamefully turned me on.

I paid attention to my strawberry ice cream cone. "Are you ignoring Aiden?"

She texted him another protest. "Yeah, you would think he would get that I have feelings for someone else, but-" She abruptly stopped talking as she looked t me.

Was she talking about me? It was stupid to think that, but her oddly shy behavior was now making sense.

"I mean…"

Instead of making her feel awkward about it like a dick I acted nonchalant. "It's not me, is it?"

Her deafening silence became awkward.

I stopped walking. "Is it?"

Despite myself I laughed because the damn near impossible proved to be possible.

"It's not funny, Stiles." She blushed beet red as she playfully shoved me.

"I'm sorry I laughed." I looked at her with traces of a smile on my lips. "You just caught me off guard."

There was that intensity in the way she looked at me that now made sense. She was so beautiful as she stared at me. "Is it so unbelievable that I'd have feelings for you?"

How was I supposed to answer that? She knew as well as I did that I retired my ten year plan after Allison died. As soon as Malia came into the picture it was easier to be without Lydia, it was easier to feel pleasure. With Lydia, my feelings were never reciprocated.

I sighed as I looked straight ahead. "Yeah, it is. I let you go because I knew that you didn't want me. I accepted that."

She looked sad.

"We have school tomorrow. Let's head back."

"Okay."

The car ride back to Stiles' house was quiet, but not awkward. I think we were both thinking about the ramifications of tonight's events and how tomorrow we will be different. Maybe he'll still feel the same about wanting to stay with Malia. Maybe he won't. I don't even know what I want. Just because I had feelings for Stiles doesn't mean that we should be together. Would we even work out? Stiles built up these expectations about me, about who he thought I was, and a part of me was afraid that the real thing wouldn't be half as good for him.

We pulled in front of his house. Silence ensued.

"How do you feel about things staying the same between us?" Stiles asked. "As friends?"

I turned toward him and nodded. "I don't want to lose what we have. I don't want us to go there and jeopardize everything. You mean so much to me, much more than Jackson ever did." It was the truth. Stiles touched my heart like a soft caress. Now I was afraid that if he held it in his hands he'd want to give it back.

He nodded in agreement. "Will it bother you to see me with Malia?"

I looked down at my hands, wanting to tell him of course it would, but that wouldn't do me any good. He'd just feel sorry for me. "Not if you're happy with her, and you look happy with her." I couldn't hide the twinge of sadness in my voice. Now that he knew I liked him he could probably hear it and recognize it for what it was.

His warm hand took mine as he scooted closer to me. His cinnamon eyes caught mine. "She's not the only person that makes me happy. I'll always have time for you." He noticed the worried look on my face. "What?"

I huffed. "You say that now. What if you and Malia do get serious? Or you find some other girl?" My mind thought of the worse possible scenarios. I gasped. "What if you get married?"

A tiny hint of a smile graced his lips. "When have I never had time for you?"

"There was that one time I was crying. You said that you talk with me, but then you never came back."

He huffed. "Your lizard boyfriend paralyzed Derek. He fell into the pool, I had to hold him up. We were trapped for like two hours."

Oh. I always thought he forgot.

Besides that, I've always been there for you, haven't I?"

I nodded. "Even when I didn't deserve it." I tucked my hair behind my ear to look at him. "You don't understand that I didn't deserve you. I don't deserve you."

He looked really uncomfortable. I didn't blame him. What was he going to say to that? He didn't want to argue with me.

He huffed before meeting my eyes. "Lydia, what do you want me to say, that I agree with you?" Because I don't and you know that."

My heart skipped a beat. "You didn't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know how I felt." My hand wrapped around the door handle.

He tightened his grip on my hand, causing me to look at him. "Wait." His eyes dropped to my lips. "I need to know."

"Need to know-"

His lips fiercely pulled at mine. There was no amount of time that could've prepared me for the intensity of our union. I fell prey to the hand that cupped my cheek, the lips that caressed my own, and then tongue that controlled mine. It's cliché to say that this was the kiss that turned my world upside down, and it wasn't, but it felt pretty life-changing. This was a million times better than our locker room kiss.

When he pulled away all I couldn't do was stare at him in awe. He, on the other hand, looked surprised, like he hadn't thought my feelings for him to true until now. The hand that cupped my face stroked my cheek lightly as his brow furrowed.

A blush reddened my cheeks as I looked down. "I'm going to go." I pulled away from his warm hand.

As I headed down his drive way he called out to me. "Lydia-"

I turned back to him. "If we're going to be just friends you can't kiss me and expect things to stay the same.

His eyes looked sad. "You're right." He nodded. "I just…had to know it was real."

"Now you do." I headed for my car, which I parked on the side of the street.

He caught my wrist, before I could get in the car. "Did you like it?" His voice sincere.

A smile perched on my lips as I rubbed my lipstick off of his lips. "What do you think?"

His lips turned up at the corner. He did another thing that took me off guard. He hugged me.

SO what did you guys think? Please review and let me know if you want more chapters! Feel free to suggest things or criticize my writing. Anything helps. Thanks for reading!