A/N I figured that I had two options. 1) Write a depressing story again in which Marissa attempts to kill herself a variety of different ways and then realizes before Ryan can save her, she must first save herself 2) Write this story. I think all in all, you guys would prefer this one much better. The idea was inspired by a line that popped into my head, "I don't know, putting them back together makes me feel like maybe I can piece something together about my life." I was walking along the beach, my feet in the water, and then it just suddenly hit me and I wanted to write it. This is set in season one after the New Years episode, but obviously before the whole Oliver thing became crazy. Well anyways, R/R please!
Marissa Cooper walked into the pool house, her eyes directly falling on her boyfriend, Ryan's, body. He looked up the minute the door opened and smiled crookedly at her from where he was sitting. "Hey…" he said out of the corner of his mouth, standing up to come meet her halfway to the bed. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him lean in and move his lips over her for a minute before pulling back, her eyes sparkling with an idea. "So what do you want to do today?" he asked, already knowing she had some master plan worked out.
"Well…I was thinking we could go to the beach.." She started, a smile on her face.
"Mhmm, because we haven't done that before…" He said sarcastically.
She didn't seem to notice he'd spoken at all. "Please?" She asked, her bottom lip sticking out slightly. "Do this one thing for me, and I'll make it up to you…" She looked down at his lips and licked her own slowly, then watched him gulp and smirked, knowing she got what she wanted.
"Fine," he said, giving in. She squealed with delight and his smile widened. He loved to make her happy.
When they arrived at the beach, she took his hand and dragged him around the sand, handing him a Ziploc baggy. "What do I need this for?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
"We are going to look for seashells," She declared, a smile on her face as she searched the sand with her eyes.
"Seashells?" He asked skeptically, staring at her as if she'd gone crazy.
"Yes, seashells," She affirmed after rolling her eyes.
"No offense, but don't you think that's a little…" He trailed off, seeing her finally look at him. "Childish?" He finished, rubbing the back of his neck, hoping he didn't offend her.
She shrugged and said, "Sometimes it's good to let go and be free."
"And the perfect way to do that is by looking for seashells," he said, a smirk on his face.
"Exactly," she said, giggling a little. He laughed too and started looking around. She held onto his hand the whole time, their fingers laced together. All in all they found about twenty shells that were in decent shape and a bunch of broken ones. They took it back to the pool house and cleaned them off and he stared as she started reconstructing some of them, or at least attempting to.
"What are you doing?" He asked, staring at her from the place he was sitting with curiosity.
She shrugged and said, "You can see what I'm doing…trying to make this seashell be whole again."
"But why?" He asked softly, his gaze burning into her. She lifted her eyes to meet his and he saw them a rare color that he'd only seen a couple of times in them; gray.
She shrugged and said, "I don't know…" She trailed off and sighed, staring at the seashells. He instantly sensed that she was about to cry and went over to her, wrapping his arms around her. "Sometimes I feel like my life is falling apart," She admitted quietly, silent tears falling down her face. He tucked a strand of her bangs behind her ears. "It feels like everyone leaves me…"
He shook his head and murmured, "You'll always have me." It wasn't until later that he registered the word, 'always,' and how permanent it sounded. Almost as if they'd be together forever. Looking back at it years later, he wished it could've been forever.
She nodded and said, "I know you're there for me but it feels like everything I used to have is gone, and I love you and everything, but sometimes I miss my old life, you know?" She looked into his eyes, having to blink rapidly to be able to see him clearly.
He nodded and said, "I can understand that. You had this great life without me, and I know that things aren't that great now…but we can make it through together right?"
She shrugged and said, "I don't know…there's a lot of stuff going on. My parents apart, the whole thing with Luke last year, moving to a different place with my dad, my mom dating Caleb, therapy…it just feels like so much is happening…"
He shook his head and framed her face with his fingers tenderly, holding her as if she was the most precious thing he'd ever laid his eyes upon. "I know a lot has happened, and I know that things will probably be rough sometimes…but we can make it through it." He gave her a smile that he hoped reassured her. It must have worked because she leaned in softly to kiss him.
"I love you," She murmured, pulling back and searching his eyes.
He decided to lighten the moment. "Thank you." She playfully hit his chest and rolled her eyes, but he could tell she knew that he loved her just as much as she loved him. "So you never answered me about the seashells," He pointed out.
She shrugged a little again and said, "Well, as I said, it feels sometimes like my life is falling apart, and I don't know…" She drifted off, staring at the shells in front of her. "I don't know, putting them back together makes me feel like maybe I can piece something together about my life."
"What about when you don't have the right pieces?" He asked.
She shrugged once again. "That's life. Sometimes you don't have all the pieces you need to solve the puzzle, and sometimes you can't save everything…" She threw down the shells and sighed. "But it's worth a shot. Because even if you don't have the right pieces, you know you tried, and that's got t mean something right?" He just nodded, bewildered by how wise her comment was. Who knew she was capable of it? She smiled widely and said, "I'm in the mood for a balboa bar."
He rolled his eyes and said, "You could've thought of that while we were at the beach."
She stuck out her bottom lip. "But I really, really want a balboa bar…" He rolled his eyes and smiled, taking her hand and leading her to the car. With her, he could never say no.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sailaway: I figured I'd answer your question now before I forgot from your review on "To A Friend." I was loosely writing about myself. I've never attempted suicide, but I've thought about it a whole lot, cut myself, and I've burned myself pretty badly also. I had this horrible feeling the other day and couldn't get thoughts of the butcher knife in the kitchen cutting deep into my skin off my mind, so instead of actually fulfilling my small fantasy, I wrote about it instead. I'm still pretty upset, but good enough to write something happy. My dad's goal in life is to piss me off. He's flat out told me that before. And he calls me bad names sometimes, and he gives me stuff that could potentially kill me, and he's done things that make me hold a grudge against him…things before I was born, but bad things regardless. I can't really explain why I don't like him in a way for people to understand, but I can't stand the guy sometimes. If you really want to read something that's based off of me, read my story, "Stand By Me."
