Hello Everyone! This story is being reposted from my original piece Learning to Live Our Lives. I had to repost because I couldn't get my account to let me revise chapters or even rewrite to repost it. I will be editing all my chapters before I post now so that this doesn't happen again. I hope you guys enjoy! Please R&R.

Chapter 1: Scream

I sighed as I watched Xion spin in her blue sundress, ready for her first day of school.

"You look beautiful dear," I said. "Sora and Riku would be proud." The word 'would' stung. I fought back tears. My brother should be here to see this, so should Riku. It's unfair.

"Do we have time to go see them, Uncle Roxas?" Her eyes were wide.

I glanced at my watch, looked back up and smiled at my niece. "Sure." She bolted out of the door with her Mickey Mouse backpack on her shoulder. I followed close behind and got in the car making sure she put her seatbelt on. I sighed again as I saw my brother's key blade keychain hanging from the rearview mirror. Xion was excited now but I wasn't so sure seeing Sora and Riku would be the best thing for her before she started school, but I knew it would mean so much to her, and it would mean the world to them if they could see her, so I agreed.

The drive was a fairly short one. All the while Xion was excitedly jabbering about her new dress and what she would do at school on her first day. I made a mental note to speak to Xion's teacher about her situation. I'm almost sure she'll have a breakdown. It's to be expected.

I stopped the car. Xion was out before me. Unlike her, my face grew more and more sorrowed as we approached their tombstones. This wasn't right. I knew Xion missed them, but it seemed I was affected by their loss more than anyone else in the family. Hell, even their own daughter handled their loss better than me.

"Daddy Sora!" Daddy Riku!" See my new dress?" She said enthusiastically as she stood in front of the graves. The wind blew gently through her hair. I couldn't help but allow the small smile that wanted to cross my lips. I knew it was Sora and Riku saying that they saw her.

I stood back and watched her speak to her parents.

"I start school today! I'm going to make so many friends." Xion giggled as she told her Fathers about how school was going to be.

I hated telling her we had to go. I watched her tell them goodbye, before we headed silently back to the car. This time she was uncharacteristically quiet.

"Hey," I said snapping her out of her trance. "They're excited for you. That's why the wind is blowing today." I gave her a toothy grin to make her laugh. I didn't want her dwelling on their absence on this special day, but I had a feeling that despite my successes at making her laugh, she would still think about them.

When we pulled up to the school her demeanor changed completely as she grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. I managed to free my hand and push my wristband down before I pulled her classroom information from my wallet and took the lead.

"Miss Gainsburough?" I asked as I opened the door. I was greeted by a young woman with chocolate brown hair and a genuine motherly smile. "My name is Roxas Strife. This is Xion. She'll be in your class this year." I ushered Xion forward to let them speak.

"Hello, Xion. I'm Miss Gainsburough. I'm thrilled to have you in my class this year. Why don't you put your backpack in this cubby here and go play with the other children." She coaxed.

I smiled at Xion and kissed her on the cheek as I encouraged her to have fun.

"Ma'am can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Of course, Mr. Strife."

She led us into the hallway.

"I just wanted to let you know of Xion's situation." I paused. I didn't quite know how to explain the situation. "I'm Xion's godfather. Her adoptive parents, my brother and his husband, died a year and a half ago. She is still sensitive about it. I'm afraid she might have a breakdown. If she does, please don't hesitate to call me."

"Of course, Mr. Strife. I have another student in a similar situation. Please, don't worry about a thing." Her smile was heartwarming. Somehow, I felt assured.

"Thank you."

I was relieved to know that Xion wasn't the only one. I turned to see that she looked comfortable before leaving the school. Miss Gainsburough gave me yet another reassuring look as I left. I wonder if this is how a parent feels when they leave a child for the first time. I guess it is. I'm Xion's 'father' now.

I drove back to the cemetery and sat between Sora and Riku's graves. I tried to speak. To tell them how angry I still was that they left me. I couldn't. All I could do was scream. It was the first time since the initial accident that I truly lost it. I stayed strong for Xion. I had to. She can't see me like this. I don't know how much time passed before I regained my composure enough to attempt to speak to my older brother and his lover.

"She started school today. I know you saw her, wherever you are. She looked beautiful didn't she?" I tried to speak of happy things and keep my cool. I simply couldn't do it anymore. "Why did you leave me!" It's not fucking fair. Why did you rush home? You knew I'd be fucking fine! I always am! What made that night different? Now, because of you I'm all alone. I'm all alone with a child I wasn't prepared to raise! Dammit! Fuck this! I have no one Sora! And it's all my fault…if I hadn't called you crying because of my stupid problems. I should've just sucked it up like every other damn time!"

I started crying again. Everyone had told me not to blame myself for their death. They had always said it wasn't my fault. But it was. It was my fault. I had called Sora that evening crying because my depression had gotten so bad I was on the verge of suicide. Sora being who he was, told Riku to hurry back because he was worried about me. A truck driver wasn't paying attention; he hit their car head on. The police told us they had died on impact. Like that fucking helped me any that they didn't suffer. They still fucking died. And it's all my fault. That night shouldn't have been any different. I was depressed as usual. Nothing unusual. Why did Sora rush? He knew didn't he? He knew that night was different. I was going to finally put my thoughts into my reality. I was holding a knife in my hand when I called him.

"Dammit Sora!"

Here I was a twenty-one year old man crying to my dead older brother who was no longer able to comfort me. How pathetic. Nothing new.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" I was so wrapped up in my profanities that I didn't notice that someone was standing behind me.

"You alright kid?"

I looked up at the source of the voice only to be captivated by the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were green. Not an ordinary green but a bright acidic green. I swear he saw into my mind with them. It was then his red hair caught my attention, my first though was flames. His hair reminded me of fire.

"Kid?" he said again. His voice was like silk. Had I not been sitting I would have dropped to my knees.

"Sorry," I said as I examined the black tear drop tattoos below each of his eyes. What did he have those for? Didn't it hurt like hell?

"Are you alright? I heard you screaming." He seemed genuinely concerned.

"Yeah. Sorry. I got a bit out of hand. I'm just really stressed out."

He held out his hand. It took me a moment to realize he was offering to help me up. I took his hand after a bit of contemplation. I felt a slight shock run through my spine. I quickly pulled my hand away.

"Must be if you're screaming at the dead."

I turned to the graves. "My brother and his husband." I gestured to each.

"What happened?"

"Car accident." I knew my voice was clipped, sharp. I didn't want to relive those memories, never again. Especially, not after remembering not twenty minutes ago.

"Sorry to hear that."

"I'll be fine."

My cell phone rang. I noticed it was Xion's school. Of course.

"Hello?" I knew what was coming.

"Hello, Mr. Strife. It's Miss Gainsburough. Xion is in tears and keeps asking for you."

"I understand. Please, let her know I'll be there as soon as I can." I hung up my phone. I knew this was going to happen. Not only am I fucked up from my brother's death, but I have a five year old who is emotionally scarred from her Parent's deaths.

"I'm sorry… ummm." I realized I didn't know his name. Shit. "I'm Roxas Strife."

"Axel. Axel Flurry."

His name is Axel? Seriously? Strange name for a fascinating man. "Axel. I need to head to the school to pick up my goddaughter.

"It's no problem." His phone rang. "'Scuse me a minute."

He sighed. He seemed frustrated. "I'll be there soon."

"Seems like we both have upset kids at school." He smiled. "Which school are you headed to?"

"Radiant Garden Elementary."

"Same place." Axel smiled. It was truly dazzling. Wait, what am I thinking? Roxas, stop being stupid.

"I felt the sudden urge to offer this man a ride. It sounds stupid. Okay, it is stupid. I've known him for all of five minutes and I want to offer him rides. I must be losing it. Or I just want to end up on an episode of Cold Cases. "Axel? You want a ride to the school?" There I did it, despite my insanity.

"You'd really do that?" He seemed shocked. "I don't have a car, so it'd be great to get to the school sooner."

"Come on then." I laughed.

"So how old is your kid?" I asked as I turned out of the cemetery.

"Little sister actually, and she's five. Just started kindergarten today. Yours?"

"Xion? Same." I smiled. "Maybe they're in the same class. Miss Gainsburough is her teacher."

"It's a small world, Roxy." I froze at the nickname. No one has called me that since…

"Hey, you alright?"

"Yeah, sorry. It's just no one ever called me that except Sora." I started breathing normally again.

"Your brother?" He whispered to himself. He seemed upset that he'd brought up bad memories. "Sorry, man. I shoulda thought."

"It's alright Axel; you had no way of knowing." I changed the subject "Who were you visiting today?"

It took him a minute to realize I meant the cemetery. "Oh, my mom."

I was going to ask another question, but he seemed to anticipate my next question and filled me in before I asked.

"She died a about a year after my sister, Paige was born. My dad left when she was pregnant with her. I've been raising her ever since. I'm all she knows really."

I was surprised. He didn't seem fazed much at all. I'd be devastated.

"I loved my mom. She'd been sick for a while, even during the pregnancy. I miss her, but I know she's there." He smiled. I wasn't sure if it was real.

I pulled into the school. "Guess we should do this together." He wasn't asking a question. He was telling me.