"Sorry? You're sorry?" The burning anger was evident in Sam's voice.
The sadness in Dean's face deepened. His eyes liquefied and he turned his face away to hide the tears. What he had feared the most was coming true and wasn't able to do anything about it. Sam was leaving him and he had all the right to do it. He had deceived his little brother, knew he shouldn't have made promises he wouldn't be able to keep. No, even worse, he knew that he wouldn't keep his promise, still he had lied on purpose, but he was a hunter and he couldn't let her go. What if Amy slipped again, he couldn't live with the death of another innocent. It was his responsibility to make sure that it couldn't occur ever again.
But maybe he knew he was a hypocrite. In the same line of thoughts he had to kill the little boy, her son, but he didn't. He challenged him to come after him when the boy was ready, ready to be killed or ready to kill. Yeah, he was a hypocrite. Sam had all the rights to leave him.
Dean heard the heavy breathing of his little brother, so he hadn't taken off yet. There was still time, time to glance at the beloved face. He almost immediate turned his eyes away. The anger on Sam's face was complete. It was scary and heartbreaking. There was no way his little brother would change his mind and stay.
"I'm sorry," Dean mumbled softly and peaked from under his lashes at Sam.
Sam must have super-hearing, because his eyes grew wide and the fire was almost shooting out of them. In an movement too fast to be seen he threw his duffels down and was right in Dean's face. Long fingers curled in the collars of Dean's jacket and pulled him up at eye-level.
"Uh," Dean grunted in surprise and balanced on tip-toes. His hands wrapped around the fingers pulling him up. His eyes looked startled into the murderous eyes of his little brother
Sam was majorly pissed off. His glare was physically hurting Dean so he turned his eyes away from the heat that was directed towards him.
"You fucking say I'm sorry one more time and I will fucking kill you." Pulling Dean closer to him Sam hissed the words in his face.
Dean felt a cramp forming in his foot and tried to pry Sam's fingers from his collar.
"Stop that! I'm not done with you." Sam clasped his finger stronger in the fabric.
" What now Sam? Do you want to take a swing at me? Do it! Take a swing, take two. Hell, beat me up if that what you want, but…" Dean raised his eyes to meet those of Sam's, but the blazing fire was only getting supernova quality and it was too much to process and he allowed his eyes to drop to Sam's chin.
"But what Dean? Don't be mad? Forgive me?" The warm breath of Sam ghosted over Dean's face.
Dean knew he was being pathetic, but he rather had this angry Sam, than no Sam. Every second Sam stayed, Dean could breath and his heart would beat.
"I didn't think. I shouldn't have lied to you. I should have trusted you. I messed up." Dean's whispered word died away.
"Yes, you messed up and yes you lied to me and yes you didn't trust me, but I don't care about that all." Sam kept breathing in and out in deep inhale and exhales to keep control of his anger.
Dean looked up curious.
Sam couldn't keep his anger in check. Every time he looked at Dean's pale face he felt his blood boil. "All I fucking care about is how stupid you are." He forcefully shook Dean back and forth.
Dean put his hand on Sam's shoulder to steady himself and prevent his head to swivel like that of a ragdoll. "I'll make it up to you Sam. Please I won't do it again. I'll change. I'll have more trust in you. Please don't leave me. I can't… I can't live without you."
Abruptly the shaking stopped, but if Dean thought that he had pacified Sam, he was dead wrong. If Sam was angry earlier than he was furious now. His voice was as cold as ice when he began to speak.
"You can't live without me? And what about me, Dean? Do you think I can?" Sam shook Dean again. "You were going to let you get killed by that Osiris god, just because you was what? Proud to admit you had mislead me? What the fuck Dean? Why would you willingly leave me? Tell me Dean! Tell me fucking why you were so eager to leave me. I would fucking die without you." Tears gathered in Sam's eyes. They weren't tears of anger, but tears of grief.
Dean was too shocked to fight Sam off and stop the maddening shaking. His teeth began to clatter against each other, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered, not even the sudden stop of his heartbeat. The only thing that mattered was the pain in Sam's eyes. He had to take care of that. That look shouldn't be in Sam's eyes.
"You could go on hunting. Or even better stop hunting and live a normal life. Without me you could leave all this behind, leave hell behind." Dean felt his little brother shiver and the shaking stopped.
Sam slowly lowered Dean to the ground, down on his feet. He didn't let go of the collar. Dean steadied himself and carefully stretched the cramp out his foot. Sam pulled Dean closer and rest his forehead against Dean's. Dean tried not to look in Sam's eyes, but a huff of hot air against his lips made his eyes shoot up and connect with the golden green orbs of his little brother.
"I don't now if you are truly ignorant or jack ass pretending to be ignorant. Do you know why I cope with hell and all the guilt I carry? It's all because of you. I couldn't watch how it was killing you that I was hurting. Every pain I felt you claimed as your responsibility. I had to deal with it, so you could loose the guilt trip. But you." Sam poked in Dean's chest to emphasize his point. "You almost destroyed my efforts, by feeling guilty to have mislead me and willingly let you be killed by a fucking god. You know, I can handle hell. I can even handle fucking Lucifer and his constant mocking presence, but I can't handle loosing you. So man up and for once choose yourself above me and live. And if not for yourself do it for me. It's easy enough to remember. If you die, I die. So fucking never think of dying again, even if you think it will somehow save me."
Sam stepped forward right into Dean. Dean moved back and felt the door handle dig in his back. He was trapped, but hell if he cared. His heart was racing. He felt his body come alive and wanted to reach out and grab the only reason he was still alive and never let go, Sam, his Sammy.
So he did. He pulled Sam towards him and wrapped him in a tight hug. "You are my everything, my always. My past, my present and my tomorrow." Dean whispered the words in Sam's hair.
Sam returned the hug in equal strength. Dean allowed himself to bask in this moment of complete love. It was strange, but he didn't feel awkward after all the sappy declarations. In fact, he felt quite good. Too good in fact.
Certain body parts began to get hard, pressed all up against a warm, no hot body. Those parts were getting all exited in this chick flick moment.
"Hey, Sammy. Maybe you can allow me some breathing space?" Dean was sort of glad that his manly parts were getting aroused, because for a while he was getting really worried that he was loosing a major ability. When he had been waiting for his date behind the bar, just before he was kidnapped by Osiris, he had to remind himself that he was Dean Winchester, the walking, talking sex god. Maybe with the stress gone he could function again. But why now? Why with his little brother? His cock twitched in interest. Okay, definitely time to create some space between them. "Sammy?"
"Shut up Dean. You owe me this." Sam strengthened his hold on Dean and even rearranged their bodies to get closer.
O, this was so not good. His cock was between Sam's thighs and feeling o so snug. He was getting harder. Oh god, he had to move away, but now not only his manhood was interested, but his whole body felt good and wanted more. His heart was beating in the same pace as Sam's and wasn't that a little too fast and getting faster?
"Sam?" He definitely didn't sound whiny. It sounded like an urging to get his little brother to end this before he would to something stupid like rubbing against the wonderful hot body against his or even worse grab his little brother's not so little hardness, that was poking in his abdomen.
"Dean!" breathed Sam out and god have mercy, Sam rubbed up against him. All those lean muscles sliding over his.
"Uh-uh," came the articulated response of the older brother, rubbing back once, or maybe twice, oh god he couldn't stop.
Sam's body felt good against his. So good, but it had to stop. Dean grabbed Sam's face between his two hands and pulled it up to look into his eyes, to get his attention.
"Sam, Sammy we have to stop this." Dean rubbed again against the hardness digging in his belly to make his point or was it to contradict his point. Never mind!
"No, why?" Sam moved down a little to line up their cocks.
"Aaah, because we are brothers." Dean's hip couldn't help to rock against his little brother's hard body with a even harder centre.
Sam fixed his eyes hungrily on Dean's lips and Dean couldn't help to lick them. Not to invite Sam, no way. Just because they had gone dry.
Sam made a point of his own. "Brothers are supposed to share. I want to share this with my big brother. Please let me."
And that was that. Dean was checkmate. He couldn't and wouldn't ever refuse his Sammy anything, not even himself and especially not if he wanted the same. With a deep groan he pulled Sam's face towards him and with their lips almost touching he breathed a few times in and out before he sighed, "Fuck, yes."
Sam's eyes lighted up. "Yeah." He growled victorious and pressed their lips together, exploring new grounds and when Dean opened up for his prodding tongue he almost came right there and then.
The taste of Dean was overwhelming. It was pure love, pure sex. No way he was ever to run away.