Perfect
Song: Perfect by P!nk
~Samurai n Binna~
BOLDIFIED: Song lyrics
UNBOLDIFIED: Story
Made a wrong turn once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
I woke up today with a throbbing pain in my left wrist. What the… oh yeah… I almost forgot that yesterday I burned myself for the first time in two years. Why did I burn myself? Nah, it's not the usual family shit. I'm not heartbroken. Give up? Well, I'm, Oh, god. How do I say this? I'm an FTM. If you're as clueless as Eli and Clare were, I'll be a little clearer. I'm trans.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss, "No way, it's all good."
It didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second-guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around
You'll probably say it's stupid. Everyone does. That includes my mom. She can't get it through her head that I'm a guy between the ears. And then there are people like Bianca. Not only did she look down on me because of it, she outed me to the entire FUH-REAKING school! That's right, she tore my shirt open in the middle of the hallway! God, I hate her…
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you are perfect to me
But not everyone's like Bianca. I've got Clare, who helps me through everything. I must have been high or something one day, cuz I went to school dressed as Gracie. I can't believe I forgot had fourth period with Bianca! (Ballroom dancing- blech…) She said I made one ugly girl. And that's what made me burn again. Luckily, Clare came before it got too bad. "What are you doing?" And that's when I spilled. I'd never, EVER told anyone what I told her. She made me realize something: burning couldn't help my problem. It would only make things worse.
You're so mean when you talk about yourself
You were wrong
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead
Eli's the one who made me realize I was being WAAAAY too hard on myself, and that I was letting the jerks get to my head. They called me names like Tranny. They said I was a joke, a freak. And I was starting to believe them. I hated myself. But then Eli and I talked and I realized that I'm really no different than him. Some say he's a freak. He knows, but he doesn't care. So why should I?
So complicated
Look what we are makin'
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
Why? I just want to know. Why do people hate me? Why am I both physically and emotionally abused at school? Why won't my mom accept me? Why couldn't I have been born 100% dude?
It's enough, I've done all I can thing of
Chased down all my demons
I've seen you do the same
Oh-whoa!
I'm through. I'm sick of all their crap. I've tried everything -EVERYTHING- to fit in. So I give up with trying to win them over. I'm just going to live my life with what I've got and forget about what I don't. It's too complicated! So from now on, I'm me. Not Gracie. Me. Adam Torres. And I think that's pretty god-damn perfect.