Savior
Disclaimer: Legacy of Kain belongs to Edios and Crystal Dynamics, not me. I am making £0.00 out of this fic, it is written purely because I have a burning need to create. Although I would like to own Vorador . . . then he'd be mine.
Rating: PG-13
Setting: Alternate universe, sort of the SR2 time frame.
Summery: Janos Audron is the last surviving ancient; he makes a request of the one who would save him.
Authoress note: I'm not sure what inspired this one, it just kind of happened.
Italics mean either flashbacks or thoughts
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"Stay with me."
Those were the words Janos had used. Simple words, devoid of any ulterior motive. Those words coupled with the expression on his face when he had whispered them took away any lingering doubt I may or may not have had. I knew then that I could not refuse him anything. If Janos Audron had asked for my head I would have looked for a tool with which to remove it for him. Much the same as I had with Kain. It felt terrifying to have that kind of trust in someone I barely knew. A trust that I had thought I could never hold again, not after Kain had torn my wings from me.
"Stay with me."
All thoughts of everything went out of my mind; I no longer cared what mystery Kain had been trying to divulge to me. I no longer had any interest in false revenge. It no longer mattered what Moebius had been trying to trick me into. For this was truly what I had been made for. I had not been made for great quests and grand betrayals, I had been made for Janos.
"Stay with me."
When he spoke to me my past life seemed to run away like melting snow; my anger faded and left me feeling powerless, and very, very young.
"Yes." I reached out to him, "yes I will stay with you."
His smile was blinding.
"I thought maybe this one might suit you," Janos said, opening a door to a bedroom.
The ancient vampire looked uncomfortable, his movements were abrupt jerks and fidgeting, now that his moment of desperation had passed. His wings constantly ruffled, the sound unfamiliar to me yet comforting all at once. Janos' claws playing about the ends of his robe and he could not meet my eyes. I would have laughed if I hadn't been feeling something similar.
"Its fine," I said, watching Janos and not looking at the room.
It was impossible not to feel awkward when I stood next to such a creature as Janos. He was effortlessly graceful and beautiful, even in his discomfort. Standing next to him I truly felt like a shadow of my former glory. I felt small, broken and ugly. I snorted to myself, even when I had been beautiful I would have felt like an awkward gangly teenager in front of Janos.
"I . . . would you like to see the rest of the aerie?" Janos asked, he straightened and pushed his wings down behind his back. He watched as I nodded and managed to meet my eyes for the first time since he'd asked me to stay. "This place was once a stronghold for our race, it used to house over fifty of our kind." Janos smiled, as we moved through the arie together. "But now it holds only two."
"Only two," I repeated, the sadness in my voice made Janos wince. But the expression of pain was only momentary and Janos smiled soon after and turned placing a claw on what was left of my shoulder. I looked down, it was my turn now not to be able to meet my new mentors eyes. A claw touched on my cowl, trying to tip my chin but not finding one. Instead, it found the roof of my mouth through the cloth and tipped it up, forcing eyes to meet.
"It matters not, child." Janos smiled and I felt warmth rush through me, "as long as a single one of us stands we are legion." The words made me take a step back, the lights in my eyes flickering. Janos looked distraught. "What?" he questioned, obviously fearful at my reaction to his words. But I calmed quickly.
"It's nothing," I muttered fixing my cowl, which had started to losen when Janos touched it, "it's just someone I once knew said the same to me a very long time ago." I paused, "or perhaps not so long ago, I get so confused lately." Janos stepped forward, steering me down the corridor.
"Come I shall show you the gallery."
The gallery was not as large as I had expected I had assumed from the murals I had seen that Janos' ancient race had a love of art, but Janos' gallery was modest. I looked at paintings so lifelike it made me want to weep, something I wasn't even sure I could do anymore. Great creatures armed with spears, standing or in flight all looking regal and noble.
A few of the paintings were different, different style and subject. No longer focusing on the ancient race at war, but rather a newer race of vampire, simple fledglings dressed modestly, holding more brutal and less graceful weapons, looking for all the world like lost children.
"Vorador." Janos breathed, "he painted these, in life he was a blacksmith, but he always wished to paint." He smiled at me and I felt something in me melt. "He liked to paint. I am glad the gift of unlife gave him that opportunity." He laughed lightly, "he was . . . pleased when I gave him a room here full of paper and gave him recipes for different colors."
"Why tell me this?" I asked frowning.
"I tell you because, when many look at Vorador, they see the muscle, the sword, the fangs, and the anger. They rarely see his love for fine art or his enjoyment of music. They rarely see the man he is, only the monster he can be." The ancient looked to me with a purpose. "Appearances can be very deceiving."
"It is a lesson I have been taught many times," I nodded, "but one that still I have not learned properly." Janos shrugged a graceful gesture; a few small black feathers fell from his wings as he did so. I watched them fall struck for a moment at their fragility and caught a strong urge to catch them in my claws. "I am in constant need of a teacher."
"You seem to already have had one." Janos raised an eyebrow, I nodded.
"I did not listen, my trust for him was shattered a long time ago and since then I have never listened to him. But you and he say much of the same things and now I wonder if perhaps I should have given him the benefit of the doubt. If I had then maybe, none of this would have happened." I swallowed and looked again at the floor at the fallen feathers.
Janos' and Kain's words were frighteningly similar, yet they themselves were almost polar opposites. Janos had a calmness that Kain lacked; he had a patience that Kain lacked. I paused at that thought and took it back, it wasn't true Kain had always had a patience for me, for my brothers, it was others Kain was impatient with. I smiled at the memory of times before I had been cast down away from my father by my father.
I had never felt so loved, so protected than when I was with Kain. Even when I was old and strong enough to defend myself, Kain has always been subtly hovering somewhere, just keeping a quiet eye on me. I was hit with a sudden feeling of guilt, for a moment it felt like it was I who had betrayed Kain, not the other way around. I was so confused. My love for my father had never really died, no matter what I said but something had been destroyed between us. Something Kain had destroyed when he cast me into the abyss. I felt my anger fading and I was left only with grief. But when I looked up at Janos my grief started to fade and was replaced by a strange quiet contentment.
Yes, I mourned my past, but I had a future here, and a good one too. A future greater than my past.
It was refreshing, I found, to be able to see a softer side to someone by just talking with them. I had always known Kain had emotions, I knew Kain felt grief and fear the same as everyone else, but it was frustrating to have to beat down his defenses every time something of that nature needed to be dealt with. In fact it was more than frustrating, it was insane, which made me think of one of the biggest difference between my sire and my new companion. Something Janos had that Kain did not, sanity.
Janos was calm and in control of everything around himself, Kain could barely control his own mind.
It was heartbreaking and frightening to watch your own father go slowly more and madder each day. It had frightened me as a fledgling when Kain had had these episodes. Days or weeks where he could fall into silence or near uncontrollable rages. Although now, he seemed calm on the exterior, the things he said, the actions he preformed gave me no doubt Kain was hanging on to rationality by a single thread. I swallowed at this thought, I knew I would rather see my father dead than see that thread snap, for when it did nothing would be safe.
That was why I had perused him. The real reason, not a lie or false revenge.
Janos moved forwards to stand next to me, his expression concerned; his wings twitched suddenly and as he did so a single lose feather lifted into the air. Again I watched it fall, it looked delicate, but the wings themselves seemed powerful, powerful enough to lift the ancient vampire.
I was stung by the memory of my own wings and grief welled up inside of me. Turning to Janos I breathed soft words of rest, of wanting sleep and I turned and walked back down towards the first room Janos had shown me. A cloven claw grabbed my shoulder.
"You do not need to be alone," Janos spoke softly "I . . . I am here, talk to me, be with me." I turned to look at the ancient, eye lights flickering in the dim light.
"I am here now," I said softly. "But I have responsibilities, I have someone who needs to be dealt with." I cringed at the words as they came and watched Janos' face fall.
I hated myself with renewed vigor now, this beautiful, gentle creature had offered me sanctuary with him. He had offered me open-hearted companionship which was something I had craved all my life, even in my years spent with Kain I had craved it.
"You have responsibilities." Janos repeated softly, I snapped my head back up to look to the ancient.
"I wish to remain," I felt my voice crack with grief. "But if I do he will break and the consequences of such a break would destroy us all." I felt warm arms wrap around me, cloven claws pricked at my worn skin, digging in gently. I was hit with the soft scent of the ancient, subtle and comforting, it filled me with a warmth that had been absent for far too long and I felt my arms wind around Janos, claws becoming buried in dark feathers.
"It is your decision, whatever you decide I will respect, but please do not make this decision alone." The ancient swallowed loudly. "You are welcome here, I want you to remain here with me."
The soft words were made all the more wrenching by the grip I was held in, I tried to pull back but the grip tightened and Janos would not release me. "But I know who you are and what you are called for and I will not be the one who doomed us for selfish reasons." I pulled away and this time Janos let me go.
"Janos," I started but couldn't bring myself to say more.
"Please just come to me when you want to make a decision." Janos looked desperate, so I nodded, turned and walked away.
I walked down the corridor, my mind reeling from what Janos had said. I had assumed that due to my current 'condition' that I would never be looked at anyway but fearfully ever again. I certainly had never expected to be viewed as a friend. It was true that Kain did not fear me and showed no disgust when with me. But Kain more than likely saw me as little more than a tool now, you were hardly disgusted by your hammer. Yet even although Kain saw me as little more than a tool he was still the only one who had not been afraid of me. But that was no longer the way of it, Janos not only lacked fear but he actually wanted me here. Janos had shown no revulsion at touching me, had even held me, and I had let myself be touched in return. It was an intimacy I had thought was now and forever beyond me. I shivered at the memory of clawed hands on what was left of my wings. It was strange, I thought, the touch had been pleasant, I had thought after the last time my wings were touched I would never want contact there again.
I stopped outside the room which had been given to me, for a daemon who's only physical contact with people was when I tore them apart, or when they tried to tear me apart, it was a lot to take in. Entering the room I sighed to myself and moved over to the bed and lay on top of the blankets. I lay there wondering for a few moments if sleep would be a good idea. I had slept since my rebirth, usually cramped into some foul hole; someplace no one would come looking, somewhere safe. It felt so strange now to be lying on such smooth sheets. I snorted to myself, in my time as Kain's lieutenant; I would have turned my nose up at cotton sheets. Now it felt wonderful but alien, good but in a strange foreign way.
But that alone was not only part of what made this strange, the fact that the bed was large didn't help, I was so used to those little cubby holes, small, dank and usually damp and foul-smelling; but they had one great redeeming feature, they were safe. Nothing could get in them save one way, and those who came in were usually too small to be a real threat. This was such a big open place, shivering to myself and pulling the thin blanket tight I shut my eyes and tired to sleep.
Three hours later I was still awake and I had my answer to Janos' question.
I could not stay here. I needed to go back to whatever it was Moebius and Kain had been pushing me towards, for if I didn't Moebius would try something else.
I doubted Kain would be able to survive if something fundamental was to happen. His mind was fractured at the best of times and now he seemed to be becoming worse, his wild and random actions spoke volumes concerning his instability.
Also, Moebius would likely try to get me to return, he would come after Janos, Janos could be hurt. I knew I would protect the ancient but with the amount of men Moebius controlled only one would need to be lucky enough to land a blow to the ancient.
Janos who was so openly fragile and Kain, who denied any kind of vulnerability, but he was perhaps more brittle than any of them. They both needed me to protect them.
I had to go.
End Fic
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My first Novel, Grey Wings has now been released!
GREY WINGS
Jason is stranded in a dark city, and is in desperate need of help when he has no idea how he will get home.
So, when he collides with Aurelius, an Angel only in the mildest sense of the word – who has committed a crime worthy of great punishment, but has been handed a rare chance at redemption – Jason can see a way home.
However, their journey will be hampered by Fallen Angels, Earth Spirits, and Griffons – and none can say if everyone will make it home.
