Disclaimer: I do not own Meteor Garden (I wish!!) and its characters. This
is just pure fiction. Won't get money writing this.
Orayt. I'm back again. The year had almost come to an end. wow!! So fast!! I can't believe this is my fifth fic already!! It seems just like yesterday I was still writing Hua ze Lei's Confessions!! Hhhhmmmm.. So who's this gonna be about this time around?? Well, for sure it won't be about my fave MG character since I absolutely think I won't be writing about him anymore (I've said everything that I wanted to say!!).
It took me a while to write this partly because I've been busy but mainly because something's holding me back- the fear that despite all my efforts, no one will read (and like) this!! Why say that, you ask?? 'Coz it's about Dao Ming Si only through the POV of the much hated. YESHA!!! Yup!! You read it right, the Bhutan Princess.
And why did I even bother to write about her, about them?? Because I like the character and pities her that she is despised by the fans. So my goal is that in the end, you'd see her in a different light. If it bores you in the middle, just please proceed on reading. its essence is in the last lines (no cheating!!). And of course, I've never read anything about her yet so I'd like to make history and be the first to make her the star of a story (if you know of any, just inform me, ayt??)
If you notice some similarities with a certain movie, it's because I was inspired by it. (just guess what it is) Also, I used a song (which I fell in love with) by R.E.M. to set the mood and give the readers an idea of what the story is gonna be about. Is it sad again?? See for yourself! Still, I'm crossing my fingers that you'd like it. Again, do not expect much and PLEASE READ THIS WITH AN OPEN MIND!!!!!!!
Before I end this verrryyy long foreword, I'd like to thank some people who have been such an inspiration for me and who continue to be supportive. To Kaieka and Sunshine- you guys rock!! Thanks for the pressure (hehehehe.) To whoah_eureka, chelle, cuz, oct23ria and the Faithful 4ever forum (and its woners/ moderators)- what can I say?? Big Thanks!! *hugs 'em* Mwah!! To Serena Li, stonesour_addict and all the other Vic fans who had been truly great- Hands down to you guys!! To the people who take time to read (and comment on) my fics- I wouldn't be writing without you.
And last but not the least, to my baby, Zaizai- I love you dearly. you bring me so much joy. Thank you.
red_star
Tears for the Ocean
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone.
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, 'coz everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone (hold on)
if you feel like letting go, (hold on)
if you're sure you've had too much of this life to hang on.
Everybody hurts sometimes. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don't blow your hand. Oh, no. Don't blow your hands.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone.
If you're on your own in this life, and the days and nights are long,
if you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
everybody cries. Everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.
(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)
Knock, knock, knock. No answer. Three more knocks again and still no one answered the door. "Princess!! Your breakfast is ready!!" called out the servant. "Do you want me to bring it inside your room?"
Usually, a giddy young woman would answer the servant with a smile and a good morning greeting, but not that time. No one seemed to be in the room and she had been waiting outside for about 15 minutes already. The helpers were given the permission to go inside in case they sense something is wrong and that was exactly what she did.
The huge room, painted with mixed colors of lavender, rose pink, sky blue and sunny yellow was unusually still. The sheets were perfectly tucked to the side of the bed, as if no one slept there the night before. The slippers were placed beneath the coffee table and the hamper was full of used clothing.
She slowly went further inside and carefully checked the other things. The owner's closet didn't appear too messy, with just a few hangers empty. She found the bathroom dry, without a trace of anyone taking a shower within the past 12 hours. She opened the cabinet mirror and gasped to see so many medication bottles, most of the names, she could not even understand.
On the table that faced the sliding door to the veranda, there was a cone- shaped lamp studded with stars. She was drawn to the white paper folded underneath it and looking around to see if anybody was watching her, opened the note where it read:
Sorry papa, sorry mama. but I have to free myself. I have to be brave. Do not be mad, you'd always be in my heart. Take care of yourself. I love you. Your daughter, Yesha.
By instinct, the servant rushed to the adjacent room, which houses the princess' works and serves as her art room. She was dumbfounded to find the frames of varied sizes that once hung on the walls scattered on the floor, its paintings and sketches missing. In full view however, was a finished painting of the palace. She wanted to scream, to somehow inform her masters of what she uncovered but her voice was caught in her throat for it was the only time it dawned on her- Princess Yesha ran away. Again.
Somewhere in Southwest Thailand.
It has been three days since she escaped her prison, since she left their palace in Bhutan. Yesha found herself in a remote province in Thailand, with only a bag with her. All of her possessions she abandoned back home, bringing only a few cash, some clothes and her passport. Before reaching the airport, she had already mailed her beloved paintings to Sage, together with a letter that requests him to give those to her beloved...
The sun had just risen, it's magnificent rays stretching at the horizon. She had been to many different places all over the world but Yesha could attest that that was perhaps the most picturesque location she'd ever been to. The sand was as white as powder, as fine as the sugar that they serve in coffee houses. Her feet would burrow through whenever she took a step but Yesha couldn't care less.
There were also shells, of various shapes and colors, many of which are remnants of bigger corals from which they have been separated and ended up being washed to the shore. She could hear the dancing of the palm leaves whenever the wind blew, a blend of warm and cool air enveloping her. There was not a single person within half a kilometer from where Yesha stood so she immersed herself in the silence that she was surrounded with. It was not deafening. just natural and right.
But what she found most breathtaking was the water that presented itself before her. It was exceptionally clear, almost the color of the sky, which at that very hour did not exhibit even a streak of cloud. The sea, so vast, yet so clear and humble for there were no huge waves that came rushing to the coast. Only little ones that crawled to the shore, as if to brush its lips on the sand. The picture she was a part of was truly spectacular.
Yesha was in disbelief that such a wonderful site existed and silently told herself off why it was only then that she learned about the place. Why only then when she was about to die.
The princess moved farther and sat beside a reclining palm tree, and leaned her upper body against its hard trunk. About two months before, the torturing pain in her bones returned and was admitted to the hospital once again. She was informed of the terrible news- that the transplant, which was deemed successful, was a failure afterall. The cancer cells they thought had dissipated actually did not totally dissolve. What's worse was the fact that they had been immuned of the medications and had been resistant to possible chemotherapy.
She was given less than 5 months to live.
For a while she refused to accept her fate, refused to believe that she will no longer be able to continue with the life she thought had already been extended. She was so mad that the gods even gave her hope of a longer future when in the end, she will still face an early death.
For a time, she dwelled within a shell of self-pity and grief, depriving herself of joy and love. She vowed to stop painting and hardly gave out a smile. But due to some realizations, she forced herself to crack open the shell and spend her remaining days with much gratitude and contentment, without hatred or bitterness in her heart. She wanted it to be worth it.
That's the reason why she was there, why she ran away again and flew to Thailand. She recalled hearing a story about a certain far-flung area in a province. According to legend, one can say a prayer at the shore and offer it to the god but it can only come true if that person is brave and strong enough to swim to an island at the middle of the sea and reach it.. Many among the folks there believe the legend true for the prayers were always answered, according to them. However, none of those who did so ever returned because they chose to stay in the island, a paradise, they said.
Yesha saw some fallen coconuts near where she sat and they reminded her of Dao Ming Si. She picked one up and stared at it for a long time, memories of Ah Xing flooding her mind..
It had been a year since they parted ways. Yesha could only sigh, recalling the many things she and Ah Xing had shared at a very short period of time. Two very different individuals meeting through a tragic incident, almost as if their souls were destined to cross paths. Never in a million years did she think of entering somebody else's life when she was still preoccupied fulfilling her dreams.
Yesha was the reason why Dao Ming Si lost his memories, why he lost his past. As she later found out, he is the only son of the most powerful business tycoon in Taipei who owns a billion-dollar company. The leader of the exclusive yet notorious group F4, he used to roam around Ying De University, with much conceitedness and arrogance. Together with his 3 bestfriends Hua Ze Lei, Ximen and Meizhuo, he didn't give a damn if people hated or feared him for he had more than enough money and that's all there was to it.
But that fateful day at Barcelona changed it all. I could have been somewhere else, doing something different. Why did I have to be there?? She and Ah Xing figured in an accident which caused blood to clot in his brain, thus resulting to amnesia. and because she felt tremendous guilt for what had happened, she vowed to help him find his way back home and put together the shattered pieces of his past.
Yesha carelessly laid her head on the wood, creating a little thud, which made her giggle. It's so funny. this life. One moment you are trying to search for who you are and the next minute, you find yourself doing it for someone else. He was so frustrated to have forgotten his name so I called him Ah Xing. just like my brave little star.
Yesha stayed with Ah Xing in Taipei with hopes of finding his identity, his beginnings. They searched high and low for possible clues of his history and were fortunate enough to get hold of some vital information. To survive daily, they were both forced to work, Ah Xing as a waiter in a small canteen and she as a waitress in a bakeshop. There, she met her only friend besides Ah Xing and Sage. A feisty lass named San Cai.
Eventually, she found herself falling for him. and though it was terribly difficult, she fought for her feelings to diminish for she knew that the real master was searching for her "lost puppy". and ultimately, she would have to give him up.
Yesha took a handful of the fine sand and slowly observed how each grain fell from her grasp, like magical dusts that could cast spell upon her and drain away the immobilizing pain that engulf her bones. Sometimes I wonder what was it that I've done wrong. All my life I've respected the will of my elders. I merely followed my heart, was that a sin?? And if this is my punishment for loving someone who already belonged to another person, then I take all of these with open arms.
Saying those words to herself brought her back in time when she learned that it was San Cai, her trusted friend that wrote that message of devotion on the wall. that it was her that Ah Xing loved with all of his being, afterall. It was hard to explain. the jumbled emotions that swirled inside her chest. For a moment she thought the world has stopped spinning and all her senses disappeared.
She couldn't comprehend any longer the words that the person on the other line were saying, couldn't properly respond to his queries for her tongue was tied. Her cheeks were burning, her pulse pounding strong yet slowly like the beat of the drums in a melancholic song. As much as she would like to be angered, she knew she couldn't. She had no right to. for she was the one who crossed the scene, the girl who caused the blurring of Dao Ming Si and San Cai's picture.
That was very the reason why she consented with the deal. Somehow, she knew that she owed Ah Xing much and her pact with his mother was her only way of giving him back his past. his San Cai. But every night, in her cold room, the princess would curl up in her bed, warm tears wetting her plush pillows. Being alone was terrible. Her marrows were screaming to burst out of the bones, she knew her days were nearing its end and she could not even express her real feelings to the man she loved. I did not mean to take Ah Xing away from San Cai. it was the least of my desires. And no matter how much he asks me if I do love him, I can never say it to his face. for he belonged not to me. I guess I will have these sentiments buried with me to my grave.
But she was compelled to reveal her love when one unfortunate day, Ah Xing almost lost his life. When she saw him floating on the water, no other thoughts came to her mind but that of saving him. And seeing him unconscious was just too much for her. She remembered trying so hard to revive him, to bring him back to life. Memories of an incident in her childhood kept flashing through her head but she fought to dismiss them and focus only on bringing him back. So glad was she when her efforts were not left futile.
And she knew then that he had to know.
Yesha stood up and walked further towards the sea, settling about 5 meters away from the water. She sat on the sand, embracing her knees close to her chest and felt the wind blow, with eyes closed. Dao Ming Si. He is the most amazing man I've ever known. And eventhough it was clear that it was San Cai that occupied that special place in his heart, he still agreed to accompany me in fulfilling my utmost dream- to see and travel the world, at least before I get blind or paralyzed. Whether he did it out of affection or out of pity, I couldn't care less. that was more than enough for me.
And the princess knew that the three months she was able to spend with Ah Xing touring the world were the best times in her life. Bringing only 2 bags full of clothes, loads of money, their passports and her sketchpad with them, the two set out to conquer the world. together.
From Taiwan, their first stop was Japan, a country which truly fascinated Yesha. The merging of ancient culture as well as modern technology was evident throughout the land, something distinctly Japanese.
After spending more than a week there, they flew to their next destination which was Australia. She was in disbelief as to how much she could do in such little time!! For it was a first for her to go snorkeling at the Great Reef, paragliding from the top of the mountains with Dao Ming Si at her back, feeding the ferocious crocodiles and watching a world-renowned opera artist perform.
Their third stop in Chicago, Illinois proved to be unforgettable. She remembered it all too clearly. It was autumn then and she was surrounded with nothing else but the calming hues of salmon red and coral orange from the leaves that were scattered on the pavement and the brick-tiled street. The city indeed live up to its name for the wind was blowing so strong and the chilly breeze was raging against her body that it had almost gone numb. But she enjoyed that feeling, or more appropriately, the lack of it.
The princess was sitting on a park bench, observing the people who walked past her. People of different colors and ages. Each face with a story to tell, a reason to live, a history to reminisce upon. She caught sight of two sisters about the age of 6 and 10, playing with some pigeons and hurriedly took out her sketchpad to capture that moment. Though Yesha was so engrossed in creating the perfect strokes, she noticed her nose becoming acid, her eyes starting to sting. She did try to control her emotions, biting her lips and looking at the sky, but all was in vain. Warm fluid began to run down her cheeks, a contrast to her seemingly frosty skin.
"Yesha." A man carrying some bread and coffee from her right side called out. She quickly wiped her tears away and but it was too late for Dao Ming Si had seen her cry. She didn't realize that he'd been watching her silently for quite some time already, amazed at how innocent and serene she looked from a distance.
"What's wrong?" he asked with genuine concern. "Nothing!" she answered, giving out a smile to conceal her true emotions. But Ah Xing did not accept her reply and slowly came near and sat beside her. He saw the drawing and understood right then that it was what evoked her to burst into tears. Dao Ming Si somehow realized that she was hiding a painful memory.
"Yesha, we've been through so much and I have entrusted my whole life to you. You helped in ways you cannot even imagine especially with searching for my past.", he said looking at the princess who immediately busied herself with her sketch, still smiling, still pretending. "I know that something about the two girls bothered you though I have no idea what. If you choose not to share it with me, it is alright. I'd just wait until you are ready. But please, I don't want to see you aching right now."
With that, the glee on her face swiftly disappeared while bit by bit she glanced at Dao Ming Si. Those eyes, staring back at her, so intense yet so tranquil at the same time. She didn't know why but his very gaze cracked open her shell of despair and made her bury her face against his chest and ultimately breakdown. For a long time, she stayed in that position, shaking in utter misery, for it was only then that she was to tell someone else of a memory she had desperately tried to erase from her mind.
It overwhelmed her. the sudden outburst of sentiments from within her soul like a dike of water that had been punctured with a small hole, its contents furiously rushing out in a flood. It took her some time before she was able to collect herself and quietly rest her head on Dao Ming Si's left shoulder.
"It's not unknown to you that I came from a noble family in Bhutan. My papa, my mama, they are all there." the princess narrated, eyes fixed on absolute nothingness. "But I haven't mentioned that I had a sister whose name is Lili. She was 4 years older than I but we were very close." She paused for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing. "I was nine then and she was thirteen. She asked our parents if we could go swimming at the river but we were refused permission so we had to escape one afternoon and there, enjoyed the water the best we could. Both of us were having such a blast when all of a sudden she started to frantically wave her arms and struggled to stay afloat." The Princess' eyes were cloudy as if she literally was reliving that horrible event.
"Yesha!! Yesha!! She was calling my name but I was very little then and couldn't get to her, couldn't help her out. I was in a state of shock and was not able to move a limb!!!! Everything was a blur after that and all I recall is seeing men carry her lifeless body, seeing her pale, bloated face!!!" With that she sobbed once more. "I never wanted her to die but I was a coward!!! I caused her death Ah Xing!!! I should be blamed for her demise!!!!"
"Sshhh." Dao Ming Si tried to calm her down, stroking hair. "It's not your fault, you were young then." "But if I was just strong enough, I could've saved her. That's why. that's why when I saw you floating unconscious at the pool, I just jumped into the water and didn't have any other thoughts. I knew that if I were to lose you like I did my sister, I would have no way to forgive myself." Yesha answered gently, weak from all the weeping. Still, she was staring at space and never once did she glance at Dao Ming Si. "And that's also the reason why I choose not to draw people facing me because images of Lili's lifeless body keep flashing in my head."
Hours passed and they remained where they seated, in that very same position, never to utter a single word. The princess was emotionally beaten but the clog in her heart seemed to have been eliminated. Dao Ming Si kept silent, both to join Yesha in her gloomy calmness and because he was deeply affected by the story as well. They didn't even notice the clear blue sky slowly changing its color to silky cherry then transforming to a black canvass speckled with millions of golden dots. The topic was never brought up again since then.
After Chicago, they immediately proceeded to Havana, Cuba where they visited the various world-class cafés and watched the wonderful musicians perform and after that flew over to Brazil, a land filled with electrifying colors and lively festivities. There, they indulged in the exotic dishes as well as participated in the many street parties the country is known for. It astounded Yesha to see again the different side of Dao Ming Si, the playful, cheery side of him she had first fallen in love with.
Their next destination was Europe and their first stop was Germany, notorious for the historic holocaust event. Aside from trying out its famed beers and sausages and in addition to visiting the museums, Yesha also insisted on going to the monumental locations such as the WWII concentration camps and the Berlin Wall.
After touring the country, they then advanced to their seventh stop, Italy, a land where the princess had always wanted to stay. The delicious cuisine was truly satisfying for the both of them, having to gobble up every dish that caught their interest. As much as they would have liked to buy the superbly crafted leather goods, they kept themselves from giving in to temptations for they still had 3 more countries to visit.
One sunny afternoon, they agreed to take a boat ride and watch the city from the canals. Venice was just fabulous!!! It had a perfect weather, not too warm yet not too cold and had the most romantic mood she had ever experienced. They did not take the gondolas and instead, rode a bigger one which can accommodate about 20 people.
It was a remarkably scenic sight. Cafes align the streets on their left and right side and statues made by famous as well as unknown artists are everywhere!!! In the center of plazas, there are spectacular fountains where one can throw a coin then make a wish and street performers are prevalent throughout the city, entertaining both the tourists and the locals.
Yesha was sitting at the right part, marveling at the wonderful view that contained her. She was smiling, tremendously glad that she finally was able to do something she had aspired of since she was little. This is magnificentl. the gentle breeze touching my skin. If only this won't have an end. Then out of the blue, Dao Ming Si laid down and rested his head on her lap.
"Ah Xing!!" she yelled a bit, surprised by his action. "Just stay there. I'm going to take a rest." he teasingly answered. "But you're supposed to watch the view!! Stand up!!" "Ssshhh."
Yesha kept silent as Dao Ming Si closed his eyes tried to take a nap. However, she caught herself staring at his face. Its meekness and beauty was simply captivating and for a moment, she was unable to breathe. She dissected every single detail of his angelic visage and committed it to memory for she was aware that in time she will have to let it go.
His brows, bushy as ever, yet perfectly shaped and proportioned to his face. The lashes of his eyes are unusually long for a man and even slightly curl at the ends. His nose resembles that of the ideal noses of the ancient Greek sculptures, strong but not immense. And his lips. his slightly parted lips are that of a god's, so soft and succulent, the color of strawberry. If only this won't have an end.
For a while she forgot who she was and solely admired the awe-inspiring vision before her. But she was distracted by a sudden whimper of a young boy to her far right who accidentally freed the colorful balloons from his grasp. She saw it. The round objects floating in the air like magical beings that had been liberated, waltzing their way to the sky in pure joy. I offer you my happiness.
It saddened her to think that it was not hers. The balloons were something special Dao Ming Si and San Cai had shared. She looked down on him again and was shocked to see him awake and staring back at her, a single tear flowing down his left cheek. Only it was not Ah Xing's but her very own.
Dao Ming Si did not bother utter a word. he merely waited for Yesha to reveal whatever it was that made her shed tears. "I'm sorry. For coming into your life." she spoke. "Don't be silly!! You d-" he was cut short as Yesha placed her forefinger on his lips to make him stop. "A few weeks from now we'd have to part ways. And though it may be tough for me, I know we have to move on.."
Her chin started to tremble and her breathing became heavy. "I never liked goodbyes. My life had been full of it... It came to a point when even I considered not having relations with other people anymore, to not be close to someone else. What's the point, anyway?? You'd share wonderful memories with them only to bid farewell in the end." She continued, trying hard to keep a straight face though her tears never stopped from streaming down...
"But one thing I learned while I was in Taipei and though we never got to converse, this I realized because of the actions your friend Hua Ze Lei. That what's important is the now, how you relish your moments together. It doesn't matter what the future may bring as long as you're aware that at that very instance, you gave it your all."
"Yesha." Dao Ming Si serenely said, wetting his lips. "I. I was a broken man when you found me and you helped put my pieces back together. You have such a pure spirit and never once did you yearn for others' misery. If. if I may have caused you pain in any way, please accept my apologies. In all my times with you, keep in mind that I do not regret anything. "
She was greatly moved by the sincerity of his words and was filled with sudden joy. "Me too."
That's all she was able to utter, nodding with a little smile on her face for it was more than enough for her. She held his left hand and gripped it tight as if to assure him that she'd be there for him come what may.
From Italy they proceeded to Egypt where they visited the historic pyramids and examined the preserved ancient artifacts such as the sacred relics and mummies. After that, their next stop was Kenya, a land famous for its safari. It delighted the princess so much to see all the animals she only got to watch on television run and hunt freely in the wild such as the cheetahs, giraffes, hyenas, lions and elephants. Being able to eat with the natives was also an exciting experience for her.
Their last stop was India, a country beside that of her homeland, Bhutan. There, she tried to enjoy everything she possibly could. the food, the people, the festivals, the adventures. She was in absolute disbelief that the whole three months had passed already and that their memorable trip had come to an end.
It was their last day together, at the train station in the province that borders Bhutan and India. Everything was so surreal, even the scene that besieged them. Being in a countryside, the roads were not cemented nor asphalted, thus dusty, the color of clay pots and this added to the rustic ambiance. The meadows that surrounded them were sprinkled with delicate balls of white weed flowers that separate from the stalks whenever the wind blows strong.
Yesha and Dao Ming Si were walking towards the train side by side but they took their time and savored that moment. For a long time they kept quiet and merely stared at the road they were walking on until Yesha broke the silence.
"I knew." she spoke. "I knew that after you drowned, your past came back to you." Dao Ming Si was shocked and stopped a bit but the princess continued walking. "Why, why did you still come with me here?? Is it because you pitied me for I was dying??"
"Do not say that!!!" Ah Xing said, angered by her comment. "I accompanied you because I wanted to see you fulfill your goals!!! And I do not want to hear from you again that you're dying!! You had the transplant and you're undergoing medications. YOU WILL BE CURED!! YOU SHALL LIVE ON!!"
Yesha took a deep breath to somehow alleviate the tightness in her chest. "Ah Xing, I was aware from the very beginning that you do not belong to me. you and San Cai were destined to be together. I was merely a channel that the heavens used for you to realize how much you love each other." Her words were broken as she explained for she was trying to swallow her cries. "And though I've come to. I've come to love you too, I must give way and hand my lost puppy back to its rightful owner."
"Yesha." Dao Ming Si tried to speak but to no avail. He was at loss for words, partly because of the profundity of the princess' words and mainly because he believed them true...
"I do not think I can thank you enough for the amazing experiences you've shared with me. Be good always and whenever you're weary, remember to look at the stars. Brave Yesha will be watching over you." She still hasn't glanced at Dao Ming Si, still fixated at the path before her. "I am now about to ride the train that will take me back to Bhutan. Listen to what to what your heart says. If you know you are to spend your life not with me but with somebody more special, then stop strolling with me now and head back to Taiwan. I don't want to see you go away."
She was walking slightly ahead of Dao Ming Si and after a few more strides, she heard his footsteps no more. Ah Xing finally chose to go back to where he belonged and be with his San Cai. And it was the last she would see of him.
As the train started to move, Yesha looked outside the window and saw the white balls of weed flowers floating in the air, like little fairies that bid her farewell and wished her much luck. Do not worry, I have faith. Saying this made her mutely breakdown.
The wind was blowing strong once more, this time accompanied by the overwhelming saltiness of the ocean, just like the taste of the warm fluid that never ceased from running down her cheeks. Yesha had stood from where she seated and was walking along the shore, feeling the coolness of the sea touch her skin.
She saw her tear fall onto the water and imagined the little ripple creating a big wave. Who is to blame me if my tears will stream down and every single drop shall be one with the massive ocean???
I came here solely to make a little prayer and offer it to the god of the sea with the hope that he might remark the sincerity of my desires. I can ask for my sickness to disappear, for my cancer to vanish. But I do not see the point anymore. I'm doing this not for my own sake but for Ah Xing's happiness with his one true love, San Cai.
This is for their blissful life together. for three more months, for three more years, for thirty more years, for three hundred more years, for three thousand more years. For I may die tomorrow but Dao Ming Si shall live happily forever.
With that, Yesha took her shirt off and got into the water. With a contented smile, she rested her head back, closed her eyes and floated her way through the sea.
The End.
Orayt. I'm back again. The year had almost come to an end. wow!! So fast!! I can't believe this is my fifth fic already!! It seems just like yesterday I was still writing Hua ze Lei's Confessions!! Hhhhmmmm.. So who's this gonna be about this time around?? Well, for sure it won't be about my fave MG character since I absolutely think I won't be writing about him anymore (I've said everything that I wanted to say!!).
It took me a while to write this partly because I've been busy but mainly because something's holding me back- the fear that despite all my efforts, no one will read (and like) this!! Why say that, you ask?? 'Coz it's about Dao Ming Si only through the POV of the much hated. YESHA!!! Yup!! You read it right, the Bhutan Princess.
And why did I even bother to write about her, about them?? Because I like the character and pities her that she is despised by the fans. So my goal is that in the end, you'd see her in a different light. If it bores you in the middle, just please proceed on reading. its essence is in the last lines (no cheating!!). And of course, I've never read anything about her yet so I'd like to make history and be the first to make her the star of a story (if you know of any, just inform me, ayt??)
If you notice some similarities with a certain movie, it's because I was inspired by it. (just guess what it is) Also, I used a song (which I fell in love with) by R.E.M. to set the mood and give the readers an idea of what the story is gonna be about. Is it sad again?? See for yourself! Still, I'm crossing my fingers that you'd like it. Again, do not expect much and PLEASE READ THIS WITH AN OPEN MIND!!!!!!!
Before I end this verrryyy long foreword, I'd like to thank some people who have been such an inspiration for me and who continue to be supportive. To Kaieka and Sunshine- you guys rock!! Thanks for the pressure (hehehehe.) To whoah_eureka, chelle, cuz, oct23ria and the Faithful 4ever forum (and its woners/ moderators)- what can I say?? Big Thanks!! *hugs 'em* Mwah!! To Serena Li, stonesour_addict and all the other Vic fans who had been truly great- Hands down to you guys!! To the people who take time to read (and comment on) my fics- I wouldn't be writing without you.
And last but not the least, to my baby, Zaizai- I love you dearly. you bring me so much joy. Thank you.
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Tears for the Ocean
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone.
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, 'coz everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone (hold on)
if you feel like letting go, (hold on)
if you're sure you've had too much of this life to hang on.
Everybody hurts sometimes. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don't blow your hand. Oh, no. Don't blow your hands.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone.
If you're on your own in this life, and the days and nights are long,
if you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
everybody cries. Everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.
(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)
Knock, knock, knock. No answer. Three more knocks again and still no one answered the door. "Princess!! Your breakfast is ready!!" called out the servant. "Do you want me to bring it inside your room?"
Usually, a giddy young woman would answer the servant with a smile and a good morning greeting, but not that time. No one seemed to be in the room and she had been waiting outside for about 15 minutes already. The helpers were given the permission to go inside in case they sense something is wrong and that was exactly what she did.
The huge room, painted with mixed colors of lavender, rose pink, sky blue and sunny yellow was unusually still. The sheets were perfectly tucked to the side of the bed, as if no one slept there the night before. The slippers were placed beneath the coffee table and the hamper was full of used clothing.
She slowly went further inside and carefully checked the other things. The owner's closet didn't appear too messy, with just a few hangers empty. She found the bathroom dry, without a trace of anyone taking a shower within the past 12 hours. She opened the cabinet mirror and gasped to see so many medication bottles, most of the names, she could not even understand.
On the table that faced the sliding door to the veranda, there was a cone- shaped lamp studded with stars. She was drawn to the white paper folded underneath it and looking around to see if anybody was watching her, opened the note where it read:
Sorry papa, sorry mama. but I have to free myself. I have to be brave. Do not be mad, you'd always be in my heart. Take care of yourself. I love you. Your daughter, Yesha.
By instinct, the servant rushed to the adjacent room, which houses the princess' works and serves as her art room. She was dumbfounded to find the frames of varied sizes that once hung on the walls scattered on the floor, its paintings and sketches missing. In full view however, was a finished painting of the palace. She wanted to scream, to somehow inform her masters of what she uncovered but her voice was caught in her throat for it was the only time it dawned on her- Princess Yesha ran away. Again.
Somewhere in Southwest Thailand.
It has been three days since she escaped her prison, since she left their palace in Bhutan. Yesha found herself in a remote province in Thailand, with only a bag with her. All of her possessions she abandoned back home, bringing only a few cash, some clothes and her passport. Before reaching the airport, she had already mailed her beloved paintings to Sage, together with a letter that requests him to give those to her beloved...
The sun had just risen, it's magnificent rays stretching at the horizon. She had been to many different places all over the world but Yesha could attest that that was perhaps the most picturesque location she'd ever been to. The sand was as white as powder, as fine as the sugar that they serve in coffee houses. Her feet would burrow through whenever she took a step but Yesha couldn't care less.
There were also shells, of various shapes and colors, many of which are remnants of bigger corals from which they have been separated and ended up being washed to the shore. She could hear the dancing of the palm leaves whenever the wind blew, a blend of warm and cool air enveloping her. There was not a single person within half a kilometer from where Yesha stood so she immersed herself in the silence that she was surrounded with. It was not deafening. just natural and right.
But what she found most breathtaking was the water that presented itself before her. It was exceptionally clear, almost the color of the sky, which at that very hour did not exhibit even a streak of cloud. The sea, so vast, yet so clear and humble for there were no huge waves that came rushing to the coast. Only little ones that crawled to the shore, as if to brush its lips on the sand. The picture she was a part of was truly spectacular.
Yesha was in disbelief that such a wonderful site existed and silently told herself off why it was only then that she learned about the place. Why only then when she was about to die.
The princess moved farther and sat beside a reclining palm tree, and leaned her upper body against its hard trunk. About two months before, the torturing pain in her bones returned and was admitted to the hospital once again. She was informed of the terrible news- that the transplant, which was deemed successful, was a failure afterall. The cancer cells they thought had dissipated actually did not totally dissolve. What's worse was the fact that they had been immuned of the medications and had been resistant to possible chemotherapy.
She was given less than 5 months to live.
For a while she refused to accept her fate, refused to believe that she will no longer be able to continue with the life she thought had already been extended. She was so mad that the gods even gave her hope of a longer future when in the end, she will still face an early death.
For a time, she dwelled within a shell of self-pity and grief, depriving herself of joy and love. She vowed to stop painting and hardly gave out a smile. But due to some realizations, she forced herself to crack open the shell and spend her remaining days with much gratitude and contentment, without hatred or bitterness in her heart. She wanted it to be worth it.
That's the reason why she was there, why she ran away again and flew to Thailand. She recalled hearing a story about a certain far-flung area in a province. According to legend, one can say a prayer at the shore and offer it to the god but it can only come true if that person is brave and strong enough to swim to an island at the middle of the sea and reach it.. Many among the folks there believe the legend true for the prayers were always answered, according to them. However, none of those who did so ever returned because they chose to stay in the island, a paradise, they said.
Yesha saw some fallen coconuts near where she sat and they reminded her of Dao Ming Si. She picked one up and stared at it for a long time, memories of Ah Xing flooding her mind..
It had been a year since they parted ways. Yesha could only sigh, recalling the many things she and Ah Xing had shared at a very short period of time. Two very different individuals meeting through a tragic incident, almost as if their souls were destined to cross paths. Never in a million years did she think of entering somebody else's life when she was still preoccupied fulfilling her dreams.
Yesha was the reason why Dao Ming Si lost his memories, why he lost his past. As she later found out, he is the only son of the most powerful business tycoon in Taipei who owns a billion-dollar company. The leader of the exclusive yet notorious group F4, he used to roam around Ying De University, with much conceitedness and arrogance. Together with his 3 bestfriends Hua Ze Lei, Ximen and Meizhuo, he didn't give a damn if people hated or feared him for he had more than enough money and that's all there was to it.
But that fateful day at Barcelona changed it all. I could have been somewhere else, doing something different. Why did I have to be there?? She and Ah Xing figured in an accident which caused blood to clot in his brain, thus resulting to amnesia. and because she felt tremendous guilt for what had happened, she vowed to help him find his way back home and put together the shattered pieces of his past.
Yesha carelessly laid her head on the wood, creating a little thud, which made her giggle. It's so funny. this life. One moment you are trying to search for who you are and the next minute, you find yourself doing it for someone else. He was so frustrated to have forgotten his name so I called him Ah Xing. just like my brave little star.
Yesha stayed with Ah Xing in Taipei with hopes of finding his identity, his beginnings. They searched high and low for possible clues of his history and were fortunate enough to get hold of some vital information. To survive daily, they were both forced to work, Ah Xing as a waiter in a small canteen and she as a waitress in a bakeshop. There, she met her only friend besides Ah Xing and Sage. A feisty lass named San Cai.
Eventually, she found herself falling for him. and though it was terribly difficult, she fought for her feelings to diminish for she knew that the real master was searching for her "lost puppy". and ultimately, she would have to give him up.
Yesha took a handful of the fine sand and slowly observed how each grain fell from her grasp, like magical dusts that could cast spell upon her and drain away the immobilizing pain that engulf her bones. Sometimes I wonder what was it that I've done wrong. All my life I've respected the will of my elders. I merely followed my heart, was that a sin?? And if this is my punishment for loving someone who already belonged to another person, then I take all of these with open arms.
Saying those words to herself brought her back in time when she learned that it was San Cai, her trusted friend that wrote that message of devotion on the wall. that it was her that Ah Xing loved with all of his being, afterall. It was hard to explain. the jumbled emotions that swirled inside her chest. For a moment she thought the world has stopped spinning and all her senses disappeared.
She couldn't comprehend any longer the words that the person on the other line were saying, couldn't properly respond to his queries for her tongue was tied. Her cheeks were burning, her pulse pounding strong yet slowly like the beat of the drums in a melancholic song. As much as she would like to be angered, she knew she couldn't. She had no right to. for she was the one who crossed the scene, the girl who caused the blurring of Dao Ming Si and San Cai's picture.
That was very the reason why she consented with the deal. Somehow, she knew that she owed Ah Xing much and her pact with his mother was her only way of giving him back his past. his San Cai. But every night, in her cold room, the princess would curl up in her bed, warm tears wetting her plush pillows. Being alone was terrible. Her marrows were screaming to burst out of the bones, she knew her days were nearing its end and she could not even express her real feelings to the man she loved. I did not mean to take Ah Xing away from San Cai. it was the least of my desires. And no matter how much he asks me if I do love him, I can never say it to his face. for he belonged not to me. I guess I will have these sentiments buried with me to my grave.
But she was compelled to reveal her love when one unfortunate day, Ah Xing almost lost his life. When she saw him floating on the water, no other thoughts came to her mind but that of saving him. And seeing him unconscious was just too much for her. She remembered trying so hard to revive him, to bring him back to life. Memories of an incident in her childhood kept flashing through her head but she fought to dismiss them and focus only on bringing him back. So glad was she when her efforts were not left futile.
And she knew then that he had to know.
Yesha stood up and walked further towards the sea, settling about 5 meters away from the water. She sat on the sand, embracing her knees close to her chest and felt the wind blow, with eyes closed. Dao Ming Si. He is the most amazing man I've ever known. And eventhough it was clear that it was San Cai that occupied that special place in his heart, he still agreed to accompany me in fulfilling my utmost dream- to see and travel the world, at least before I get blind or paralyzed. Whether he did it out of affection or out of pity, I couldn't care less. that was more than enough for me.
And the princess knew that the three months she was able to spend with Ah Xing touring the world were the best times in her life. Bringing only 2 bags full of clothes, loads of money, their passports and her sketchpad with them, the two set out to conquer the world. together.
From Taiwan, their first stop was Japan, a country which truly fascinated Yesha. The merging of ancient culture as well as modern technology was evident throughout the land, something distinctly Japanese.
After spending more than a week there, they flew to their next destination which was Australia. She was in disbelief as to how much she could do in such little time!! For it was a first for her to go snorkeling at the Great Reef, paragliding from the top of the mountains with Dao Ming Si at her back, feeding the ferocious crocodiles and watching a world-renowned opera artist perform.
Their third stop in Chicago, Illinois proved to be unforgettable. She remembered it all too clearly. It was autumn then and she was surrounded with nothing else but the calming hues of salmon red and coral orange from the leaves that were scattered on the pavement and the brick-tiled street. The city indeed live up to its name for the wind was blowing so strong and the chilly breeze was raging against her body that it had almost gone numb. But she enjoyed that feeling, or more appropriately, the lack of it.
The princess was sitting on a park bench, observing the people who walked past her. People of different colors and ages. Each face with a story to tell, a reason to live, a history to reminisce upon. She caught sight of two sisters about the age of 6 and 10, playing with some pigeons and hurriedly took out her sketchpad to capture that moment. Though Yesha was so engrossed in creating the perfect strokes, she noticed her nose becoming acid, her eyes starting to sting. She did try to control her emotions, biting her lips and looking at the sky, but all was in vain. Warm fluid began to run down her cheeks, a contrast to her seemingly frosty skin.
"Yesha." A man carrying some bread and coffee from her right side called out. She quickly wiped her tears away and but it was too late for Dao Ming Si had seen her cry. She didn't realize that he'd been watching her silently for quite some time already, amazed at how innocent and serene she looked from a distance.
"What's wrong?" he asked with genuine concern. "Nothing!" she answered, giving out a smile to conceal her true emotions. But Ah Xing did not accept her reply and slowly came near and sat beside her. He saw the drawing and understood right then that it was what evoked her to burst into tears. Dao Ming Si somehow realized that she was hiding a painful memory.
"Yesha, we've been through so much and I have entrusted my whole life to you. You helped in ways you cannot even imagine especially with searching for my past.", he said looking at the princess who immediately busied herself with her sketch, still smiling, still pretending. "I know that something about the two girls bothered you though I have no idea what. If you choose not to share it with me, it is alright. I'd just wait until you are ready. But please, I don't want to see you aching right now."
With that, the glee on her face swiftly disappeared while bit by bit she glanced at Dao Ming Si. Those eyes, staring back at her, so intense yet so tranquil at the same time. She didn't know why but his very gaze cracked open her shell of despair and made her bury her face against his chest and ultimately breakdown. For a long time, she stayed in that position, shaking in utter misery, for it was only then that she was to tell someone else of a memory she had desperately tried to erase from her mind.
It overwhelmed her. the sudden outburst of sentiments from within her soul like a dike of water that had been punctured with a small hole, its contents furiously rushing out in a flood. It took her some time before she was able to collect herself and quietly rest her head on Dao Ming Si's left shoulder.
"It's not unknown to you that I came from a noble family in Bhutan. My papa, my mama, they are all there." the princess narrated, eyes fixed on absolute nothingness. "But I haven't mentioned that I had a sister whose name is Lili. She was 4 years older than I but we were very close." She paused for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing. "I was nine then and she was thirteen. She asked our parents if we could go swimming at the river but we were refused permission so we had to escape one afternoon and there, enjoyed the water the best we could. Both of us were having such a blast when all of a sudden she started to frantically wave her arms and struggled to stay afloat." The Princess' eyes were cloudy as if she literally was reliving that horrible event.
"Yesha!! Yesha!! She was calling my name but I was very little then and couldn't get to her, couldn't help her out. I was in a state of shock and was not able to move a limb!!!! Everything was a blur after that and all I recall is seeing men carry her lifeless body, seeing her pale, bloated face!!!" With that she sobbed once more. "I never wanted her to die but I was a coward!!! I caused her death Ah Xing!!! I should be blamed for her demise!!!!"
"Sshhh." Dao Ming Si tried to calm her down, stroking hair. "It's not your fault, you were young then." "But if I was just strong enough, I could've saved her. That's why. that's why when I saw you floating unconscious at the pool, I just jumped into the water and didn't have any other thoughts. I knew that if I were to lose you like I did my sister, I would have no way to forgive myself." Yesha answered gently, weak from all the weeping. Still, she was staring at space and never once did she glance at Dao Ming Si. "And that's also the reason why I choose not to draw people facing me because images of Lili's lifeless body keep flashing in my head."
Hours passed and they remained where they seated, in that very same position, never to utter a single word. The princess was emotionally beaten but the clog in her heart seemed to have been eliminated. Dao Ming Si kept silent, both to join Yesha in her gloomy calmness and because he was deeply affected by the story as well. They didn't even notice the clear blue sky slowly changing its color to silky cherry then transforming to a black canvass speckled with millions of golden dots. The topic was never brought up again since then.
After Chicago, they immediately proceeded to Havana, Cuba where they visited the various world-class cafés and watched the wonderful musicians perform and after that flew over to Brazil, a land filled with electrifying colors and lively festivities. There, they indulged in the exotic dishes as well as participated in the many street parties the country is known for. It astounded Yesha to see again the different side of Dao Ming Si, the playful, cheery side of him she had first fallen in love with.
Their next destination was Europe and their first stop was Germany, notorious for the historic holocaust event. Aside from trying out its famed beers and sausages and in addition to visiting the museums, Yesha also insisted on going to the monumental locations such as the WWII concentration camps and the Berlin Wall.
After touring the country, they then advanced to their seventh stop, Italy, a land where the princess had always wanted to stay. The delicious cuisine was truly satisfying for the both of them, having to gobble up every dish that caught their interest. As much as they would have liked to buy the superbly crafted leather goods, they kept themselves from giving in to temptations for they still had 3 more countries to visit.
One sunny afternoon, they agreed to take a boat ride and watch the city from the canals. Venice was just fabulous!!! It had a perfect weather, not too warm yet not too cold and had the most romantic mood she had ever experienced. They did not take the gondolas and instead, rode a bigger one which can accommodate about 20 people.
It was a remarkably scenic sight. Cafes align the streets on their left and right side and statues made by famous as well as unknown artists are everywhere!!! In the center of plazas, there are spectacular fountains where one can throw a coin then make a wish and street performers are prevalent throughout the city, entertaining both the tourists and the locals.
Yesha was sitting at the right part, marveling at the wonderful view that contained her. She was smiling, tremendously glad that she finally was able to do something she had aspired of since she was little. This is magnificentl. the gentle breeze touching my skin. If only this won't have an end. Then out of the blue, Dao Ming Si laid down and rested his head on her lap.
"Ah Xing!!" she yelled a bit, surprised by his action. "Just stay there. I'm going to take a rest." he teasingly answered. "But you're supposed to watch the view!! Stand up!!" "Ssshhh."
Yesha kept silent as Dao Ming Si closed his eyes tried to take a nap. However, she caught herself staring at his face. Its meekness and beauty was simply captivating and for a moment, she was unable to breathe. She dissected every single detail of his angelic visage and committed it to memory for she was aware that in time she will have to let it go.
His brows, bushy as ever, yet perfectly shaped and proportioned to his face. The lashes of his eyes are unusually long for a man and even slightly curl at the ends. His nose resembles that of the ideal noses of the ancient Greek sculptures, strong but not immense. And his lips. his slightly parted lips are that of a god's, so soft and succulent, the color of strawberry. If only this won't have an end.
For a while she forgot who she was and solely admired the awe-inspiring vision before her. But she was distracted by a sudden whimper of a young boy to her far right who accidentally freed the colorful balloons from his grasp. She saw it. The round objects floating in the air like magical beings that had been liberated, waltzing their way to the sky in pure joy. I offer you my happiness.
It saddened her to think that it was not hers. The balloons were something special Dao Ming Si and San Cai had shared. She looked down on him again and was shocked to see him awake and staring back at her, a single tear flowing down his left cheek. Only it was not Ah Xing's but her very own.
Dao Ming Si did not bother utter a word. he merely waited for Yesha to reveal whatever it was that made her shed tears. "I'm sorry. For coming into your life." she spoke. "Don't be silly!! You d-" he was cut short as Yesha placed her forefinger on his lips to make him stop. "A few weeks from now we'd have to part ways. And though it may be tough for me, I know we have to move on.."
Her chin started to tremble and her breathing became heavy. "I never liked goodbyes. My life had been full of it... It came to a point when even I considered not having relations with other people anymore, to not be close to someone else. What's the point, anyway?? You'd share wonderful memories with them only to bid farewell in the end." She continued, trying hard to keep a straight face though her tears never stopped from streaming down...
"But one thing I learned while I was in Taipei and though we never got to converse, this I realized because of the actions your friend Hua Ze Lei. That what's important is the now, how you relish your moments together. It doesn't matter what the future may bring as long as you're aware that at that very instance, you gave it your all."
"Yesha." Dao Ming Si serenely said, wetting his lips. "I. I was a broken man when you found me and you helped put my pieces back together. You have such a pure spirit and never once did you yearn for others' misery. If. if I may have caused you pain in any way, please accept my apologies. In all my times with you, keep in mind that I do not regret anything. "
She was greatly moved by the sincerity of his words and was filled with sudden joy. "Me too."
That's all she was able to utter, nodding with a little smile on her face for it was more than enough for her. She held his left hand and gripped it tight as if to assure him that she'd be there for him come what may.
From Italy they proceeded to Egypt where they visited the historic pyramids and examined the preserved ancient artifacts such as the sacred relics and mummies. After that, their next stop was Kenya, a land famous for its safari. It delighted the princess so much to see all the animals she only got to watch on television run and hunt freely in the wild such as the cheetahs, giraffes, hyenas, lions and elephants. Being able to eat with the natives was also an exciting experience for her.
Their last stop was India, a country beside that of her homeland, Bhutan. There, she tried to enjoy everything she possibly could. the food, the people, the festivals, the adventures. She was in absolute disbelief that the whole three months had passed already and that their memorable trip had come to an end.
It was their last day together, at the train station in the province that borders Bhutan and India. Everything was so surreal, even the scene that besieged them. Being in a countryside, the roads were not cemented nor asphalted, thus dusty, the color of clay pots and this added to the rustic ambiance. The meadows that surrounded them were sprinkled with delicate balls of white weed flowers that separate from the stalks whenever the wind blows strong.
Yesha and Dao Ming Si were walking towards the train side by side but they took their time and savored that moment. For a long time they kept quiet and merely stared at the road they were walking on until Yesha broke the silence.
"I knew." she spoke. "I knew that after you drowned, your past came back to you." Dao Ming Si was shocked and stopped a bit but the princess continued walking. "Why, why did you still come with me here?? Is it because you pitied me for I was dying??"
"Do not say that!!!" Ah Xing said, angered by her comment. "I accompanied you because I wanted to see you fulfill your goals!!! And I do not want to hear from you again that you're dying!! You had the transplant and you're undergoing medications. YOU WILL BE CURED!! YOU SHALL LIVE ON!!"
Yesha took a deep breath to somehow alleviate the tightness in her chest. "Ah Xing, I was aware from the very beginning that you do not belong to me. you and San Cai were destined to be together. I was merely a channel that the heavens used for you to realize how much you love each other." Her words were broken as she explained for she was trying to swallow her cries. "And though I've come to. I've come to love you too, I must give way and hand my lost puppy back to its rightful owner."
"Yesha." Dao Ming Si tried to speak but to no avail. He was at loss for words, partly because of the profundity of the princess' words and mainly because he believed them true...
"I do not think I can thank you enough for the amazing experiences you've shared with me. Be good always and whenever you're weary, remember to look at the stars. Brave Yesha will be watching over you." She still hasn't glanced at Dao Ming Si, still fixated at the path before her. "I am now about to ride the train that will take me back to Bhutan. Listen to what to what your heart says. If you know you are to spend your life not with me but with somebody more special, then stop strolling with me now and head back to Taiwan. I don't want to see you go away."
She was walking slightly ahead of Dao Ming Si and after a few more strides, she heard his footsteps no more. Ah Xing finally chose to go back to where he belonged and be with his San Cai. And it was the last she would see of him.
As the train started to move, Yesha looked outside the window and saw the white balls of weed flowers floating in the air, like little fairies that bid her farewell and wished her much luck. Do not worry, I have faith. Saying this made her mutely breakdown.
The wind was blowing strong once more, this time accompanied by the overwhelming saltiness of the ocean, just like the taste of the warm fluid that never ceased from running down her cheeks. Yesha had stood from where she seated and was walking along the shore, feeling the coolness of the sea touch her skin.
She saw her tear fall onto the water and imagined the little ripple creating a big wave. Who is to blame me if my tears will stream down and every single drop shall be one with the massive ocean???
I came here solely to make a little prayer and offer it to the god of the sea with the hope that he might remark the sincerity of my desires. I can ask for my sickness to disappear, for my cancer to vanish. But I do not see the point anymore. I'm doing this not for my own sake but for Ah Xing's happiness with his one true love, San Cai.
This is for their blissful life together. for three more months, for three more years, for thirty more years, for three hundred more years, for three thousand more years. For I may die tomorrow but Dao Ming Si shall live happily forever.
With that, Yesha took her shirt off and got into the water. With a contented smile, she rested her head back, closed her eyes and floated her way through the sea.
The End.