A/N: #TeamMellie. This is a one-shot as of now and it is an alternative ending to 5x6 – one where Mellie doesn't let Eli Pope out of prison. If people like it, I may write more. Let me know what you think. If you don't like Mellie, I wouldn't read it. Also, this is currently not Mellitz because I'm not a huge Fitz fan right now.
Xx Kate
Mellie was out. Olivia was in. It was done, final, definitive. The Grant's were officially divorced, and there was no going back. Mellie should have been devastated, she should have been reeling in anger, she should have been screaming at the top of her lungs demanding her own justice. And she had been, just an hour ago, in fact. But now, Mellie Grant was none of those things. Mellie Grant was nothing but numb. After signing the papers and saying her final words to her husband, the fight had drained quickly from her body. It had been a long time coming after all, 15 plus years in the making, and the moment had finally come. She shouldn't have been surprised really, what did she expect Fitz to do? He no longer loved her and he hadn't for a very long time. "Olivia…the only woman I've ever loved." That's what Fitz had said just an hour earlier. Mellie couldn't blame the man. She could understand Olivia's appeal. She was the real deal. Too good to pass up. Olivia Pope was loving and generous and kind – things that Mellie used to be, but no longer was. Things she hadn't been since that night 15 years ago in the Governor's Mansion...That night she had allowed Fitz' father take everything from her. Looking back, she wished she could turn back the clocks – push Big Jerry a little harder, scream a little louder, be a little stronger. Perhaps things would have been different. Perhaps she would have been able to love her husband like she wanted so badly to. Maybe she would have been able to stomach the sight of herself in the mirror. She probably would have been a better mother, a better friend, a better wife…But there was no point in wallowing in what could have been. She had let it happen and then she had let herself push her emotions so far and so deep inside herself that nothing was left but a cold, outer shell of a woman, a woman that could not and would not let herself love. Mellie had nothing left. Being married to Fitz had been the last shred of her former self – the last bit of hope she had been holding onto– and now he was gone and she didn't really know who she was without him. The Mellie that Fitz had married was gone. She was completely empty now.
The moment she had stepped into her make-shift room in the Blair House, her red jacket and matching skirt had been discarded haphazardly to the floor, she couldn't even stand the feeling of that unyielding fabric touching her skin one moment longer – those stiff clothes, clothes that represented the last decade and a half of her fabricated, contemptible, horrid existence. She had been building Fitz up for so long, sacrificing everything for him; she had forgotten what it was like to feel human. She had turned herself into a machine for him… a cold, hard, mechanical beast. And what did she have to show for it? She didn't like the woman she had become and she despised what her life was now. The only thing that was keeping her from taking the razor blade from her shower and slitting her wrists right there and then was Teddy. That baby boy represented the worst moment in her life but somehow he was everything to her. He had been a pawn – having a baby to hide a lie, to prevent a scandal. It had been a low point for her – one of those moments you look back on and can clearly say with absolute certainty That's where I went wrong. Yet every time she looked into his cerulean eyes she saw hope. Teddy was America's baby, but more importantly he was Mellie's baby. After Jerry died, Mellie had vowed to protect the only son she had left with everything she had in her. I get Teddy she had told Fitz. She hadn't meant it, really. She wanted Teddy to grow up with his father too, for Teddy to know he had two parents who loved him dearly. But in that moment, she had been feeling defensive, empty and territorial – Teddy was all she had left.
Mellie now stood in front her mirror, clad in only a black matching set of lace undergarments, which she now looked at in disgust. Who was she trying to impress? Her husband hadn't seen her naked body in months and he hadn't truly seen it in years. With two aggressive movements, Mellie pulled those from her body too. Still though, even naked, she still felt too bogged down; something was still on her, something that made her feel heavy and chained. She looked down at her left hand, her wedding ring still glistening in its perfect simplicity. She twisted it around her finger slowly and then without a second thought pulled it loose and let it drop at her side. It made no sound as it hit the carpet.
"I'm going to be better," she said to her reflection. "I'm going to be better for Teddy."
This Mellie was gone – Fitz' Mellie – Smelly Mellie, Crazy Mellie, whatever Mellie that used to be there – she was going to erase those Mellie's. She was going to start fresh.