This is a story about every pairing, obscene or otherwise, of every character we could come up with (Sorry for the dangling preposition, we hope it doesn't offend). The story is driven by the force of a zombie apocalypse, caused by the teleportation of, subsequent mutation of, and consumption of an ordinary hamburger.
Our main protagonist is a character named Kyon, who you may recognize from a little something called the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and its sequels.
Kyon has been affected by the zombie apocalypse in one significant way: he almost got eaten. After a zombie stumbled, moaning, into his classroom during lunch, he was unfortunate enough to trip over Taniguchi, his very best friend SARCASM, and has fallen face first into a desk. Needless to say, it hurt.
Though this is our first fanfic, we beg no sympathy. Grammar should not be an issue, though flames are encouraged if the reader feels so inclined. Though we are fully aware that this is an abomination against nature, god, or the celestial entity of your choice (Haruhi-sama excluded of course; she would enjoy it); we aren't prejudiced, it was fun to write.