Of Fluffy Dragons and Gut Bombs

By: ChaosTheory89

Rating: PG

Part: 1/1

Author's Notes:  I am writing way too many shorts right now, but this is the only one I'm not stuck on. I'm not sure where this falls, timestream wise, but it's before HeX Factor and after Joyride. Not my best work, but I think it is fairly cute for those of you who like fluffy Lancitty.

Summery: [season two] [Lancitty] Lance and Kitty fight, make up, and have all the cute moments that go along with it.

Disclaimer: Lance "Avalanche" Alvers, Kitty "Shadowcat" Pryde, the X-Men, the Brotherhood of [Evil] Mutants, and all related characters and ideas are the sole property of Marvel Comics & X-Men: Evolution is produced by Kids' WB. While I am making no profit off of this innocent use of said characters, I do own this story & ideas contained therein.

* * *

Kitty glanced, horrified, around her. "Lance, why is it so cold in here?" She asked, rubbing her arms. It had been decided that she should meet him here, at the Brotherhood Boarding House, instead of at the Institute because of the entire X-Men team ― and especially one Scott Summers ― opposing the relationship entirely.

"City cut off the heat last week. I paid the bill, but they say I didn't, and I tried to tell 'em …" Lance launched into a tirade, regarding the city's utilities and the irresponsibly of workers as well as a few derogatory remarks about the secretary's mother. Kitty stifled a laugh, at the same time dizzily shocked at the state of affairs the Brotherhood ― Lance especially ― found themselves in.

While Lance rummaged in the kitchen for his keys, she decided to sit down. This was always a difficult operation in the boarding house, because one could never be too careful about what sort of things they were sitting on. For example, the last time she had visited, she had planted herself smack-dab in the middle of a weeks-old anchovy pizza; when she had exclaimed her disgust, Blob had picked up the pizza, sniffed it delicately and promptly devoured the rancid food in question.

She eyed the lumpy sofa, satisfied herself that rotting food was not present, and sat down. Of course, when said sofa moved under her, she was so shocked that she phased right through to the basement.

A loud, angry shriek could be heard issuing from there, followed by a rapid series of curses and Kitty phasing rapidly back through the floorboards.

Lance came in the living room casually, regarding a startled and somewhat squished Toad and a livid Kitty.


"Pietro shouldn't be so touchy! He, like, totally went nuts when I phased down there."

"What was he doing?" Avalanche asked, suddenly alarmed.

"Not sure. He did say something like 'mutant washing machines' or something." Lance rolled his eyes.

"Oh, lord." He disappeared in the direction of the stairs with Kitty staring curiously after him. "… mutant washing machines?" She repeated, not believing what she had just related.

Toad nodded sagely and said from under several layers of blankets, quilts, and long underwear, "Pietro's always messing with the washing machine. He wants to turn 'em into some kinda deranged robot army, yo." Kitty stared at him, and back in the direction of Lance's back, in disbelief. This was udder absurdity; on top of its ridiculousness, it was treated as a common, everyday occurrence.

Both teenagers started when loud rumbling noises, a string of rather proficient curses from both Lance and Pietro, and a small explosion issued forth from the lower level.

"Are they all right?" Kitty asked Toad, who seemed to be the veteran of these sorts of things.

"They're fine. Pietro was probably trying to test his Washers o' War on Lance again. It never works out very well; he can make them do is spit soap. And sometimes, when he gets lucky, they implode."

Kitty nodded. "Where does he get all these washers?"

Toad looked up at her like she had just asked why the sky was blue. "From the Laundromat, of course."

"Oh." Kitty felt distinctly like an outside observer in a strange, savage culture. She didn't like the feeling.

After she reflected on this idea for a few moments, Pietro made his grand entrance and Lance followed behind him, looking ragged and covered in bubbles.

"Washers 'o War are getting better, yo," Toad said ominously. Lance nodded, panting for breath.

"Be right back, Kitty. Gotta go change." Lance waved off her protest, and she rolled her shoulders in resignation.

The two Brotherhood members stared at her curiously, and then an evil idea apparently sparked in the pair's shared brain cell*.

"Hey, Kitty?" Toad asked innocently, feigning shyness. Pietro fidgeted and produced a fierce blush which convinced Kitty that he had caused all his blood to flow to his face's surface capillaries.

"What?" She asked warily.

"Where do babies come from?" Pietro blurted. Kitty's eyes became round, and her cheeks turned an interesting shade of pink which has yet to be captured by Crayola. Then, her eyes narrowed down to slits.

"I think you of all people should know, Pietro!" She said, poking him in the chest. The implication should have made him blush, but he nodded sagely.

"Yup. My little girl, Luna, will be nine this summer…**" He said.

"Don't listen to him. He hadn't even hit puberty nine years ago," Lance said casually as he took the stairs two at a time.

Toad stared after them as they left. "But I really wanted to know…" He muttered sadly.

* * *

On the drive to Gut Bombs, it was unusually silent. Lance found this unnerving, because it was never silent when one was with Kitty. This seemed to be one of the natural laws of the universe.

First he turned on the radio, to a rock station he knew she'd object to. She didn't. Then he swerved around on the road, to see if she was awake. She didn't say anything, just continued staring out the window. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Kitty?" 

She looked up sharply. "Huh? What?" She looked around, startled to see that they were already in the parking lot.

"Kitty, what's the matter?" He turned in his seat, drawing one leg under himself in an Indian manner.

"I was just thinking. I mean … you know … I can't believe you guys go without stuff like … well, like heat." She stared at him through wet eyes.

"Kitty … Look, I just … it's hard, OK? After Mystique left … none of us had jobs or anything. We're OK now, we know how to do stuff. I paid that bill, I really did." Lance took Kitty by the shoulders. She sank against him, breathing hard and holding back tears of pity. Lance closed his eyes tightly, warding back his own tears. Sometimes, he just didn't know.

He rocked her carefully back and forth, then leaned her up and wiped her face with his vest.

"C'mon, Kitty, stop it. You're depressing me. Let's go eat something; you'll feel better." He said firmly. She smiled softly, nodding.

"I just thought, y'know, well, I never really thought… I just assumed… that you had money and stuff. Couldn't you… well… ask the professor for something like a loan?" She physically trembled when the words slipped from her mouth. Lance's brows furrowed angrily.

"Sorry, Kitty, but charity from some self-righteous, hypocritical … I don't even know what to say about him! He just sits there in that office of his, looking down on everyone else --" He stopped when he saw the look on Kitty's face.

"Lance, that's not true! He cares about us!"

"Yeah, those of you with good enough powers or backgrounds or whatever!" Lance shouted. Several people turned to stare. Lance lowered his voice cautiously, and they went back to their business, disappointed.

"What do you mean by that?" She hissed.

"Think about it, Kitty! Did Kurt Wagner have to take any tests when he came to the Institute? No! He just waltzed right in! And Toad's told me about the stunts they pulled when he came! And what about Blob? It doesn't take some great leap of the intellect to figure out he's a mutant! But does anyone try to recruit him? Uh-uh."


Kitty's face was contorted with different emotions. At first, she was angry, but then things started to make more and more sense. No one had tried really hard with the Brotherhood, had they?

"Not to mention Pietro… did anyone at the Institute give a care about him? No. You know it took Magneto breaking him out of jail and bringing him to Bayville? Yeah. Magneto. The one that takes second-rate mutants!" Tears streamed down Kitty's face, but Lance didn't care. "Thee only reason Evan got into the X-Men is because of his stupid aunt that can control the weather!" Kitty jerked desperately at the door handle, trying to escape the jeep.

"And another thing! Why do you think they tried so hard to get you, Kitty, and not me? Was it because I was from a foster home or because I had a record? Did the professor think I was too much trouble to bother with? If he cared, we wouldn't be rotting across town!" Lance yelled the last sentence. Kitty finally got the door open, running into the snowy evening.

Lance revved the jeep angrily, glaring at the people who were staring again. He jerked into reverse, swerving around and pushing the gas. Kitty was just one less thing he had to worry about.

* * *

"The earth shall be mine!" Neither of the two roommates noticed when Jamies flew by, followed shortly by Sam and Roberto.

Kitty sank down into her bed, tired of school and friends and pointless gestures. Rogue glanced in her direction.

"What's your problem?" The older girl asked, settling at her desk.

"Lance. Fight. Urg."

"The answer to all questions," Rogue joked.

"Die, alien scum!" Neither of them looked up as Bobby and Sam were chased by a stampeding heard of Jamies.

"I've said it once and I'll say it again: Shut up, Rogue," Kitty rolled over, burying her face in the stuffed dragon Lance won her at the carnival -- that is, before she had to fight him because the Brotherhood was trying to steal the same money as Tabitha Smith's father.

She sat up suddenly. "Oh my gosh…" She muttered, then flopped back down. Rogue watched curiously.

"They really needed that money, didn't they?" She mused. She flopped over on her bed, trying to decide if she should call or not…

She dialed the number only to hear it ring three times and then a female voice inform her, "The number you have dialed has been disconnected. Please hang up and try again." She threw the phone at the wall. It bounced.

"Free the rebels!" No one looked up as Jamies were chased by Sam and Bobby.

"That must have been some fight."

"Yeah. He was talking about the Professor and how he didn't try very hard to recruit any of the Brotherhood…"

"Well, you have to admit, he has a point." At this implication, Kitty turned over and screamed into her pillow.

"We must close the portal to the netherworld!" Jamie shrieked. Several more copies of him resulted when Rogue's history book met its target.

* * *

Kitty's dreams hadn't exactly left her feeling so great. She sat up in bed, looking to the window. The moon was full, shining above Bayville. She sighed again, standing up and making her bed, knowing that she wouldn't sleep again.

She walked over her bookshelf, hoping to find something productive to do in the time between twelve 'o clock and the five 'o clock Danger Room session. Her hands were attracted to her scrapbook immediately. She sighed, shaking her head and getting the book. It was time for another good cry.

She looked at pages from her old life in Illinois, before she had become a mutant. Pictures from her Bat Mitzvah, school stuff, her blue-ribbon science fair project. Then she flipped the page and took a deep breath.

Here was a page of the X-Men, in a photo taken shortly after the team had been assembled. It had all of them, sitting on the front steps, surrounding her. Being with her, her type of people.

And then she flipped another page and stared at the carefully decorated first of the "Lance" pages. It had his school picture -- which she had begged Jean to steal from the school office, where she worked -- and a snapshot that she had taken when Lance had a cold.

It was one of her favorites; he was all curled up on the sofa, and the picture was slightly out of focus, and he looked so calm… it could have been the Nyquil, but she thought it was innocence***.

She flipped to the next page, where she had cut out a picture of a wedding dress and pasted her face on top. She had a picture of Lance from the dance next to it, and little flowers and a cake all around. If only.

She held the book close to her heart, looking at the movie tickets from their first 'date', a picture of Lance in his New Mutants uniform, and a picture of him in his regular uniform, complete with gel penned fish floating around in his helmet. She shed a silent tear, wishing that they wouldn't fight anymore.

It wasn't exactly like she didn't try, she really did. It was hard, though. They were on different sides of a war -- Or, at least, what Lance thought was a war. Professor Xavier was one of her heroes, and Lance though he was a stuffed-shirt hypocrite. Kitty enjoyed J. Lo movies and Lance thought obsessing over Beniffer was insane***.

She sighed, wishing that her obsession with tabloid stars was the least of her problems with Lance. But it wasn't. And she couldn't fix all of those problems. She knew that he wasn't the only cause of them, either. They were different -- so different. Kitty lived a sheltered life; her parents were affluent, she spent most of her childhood in the suburbs, and now she was on the cushier of the two mutant teams. Lance was … rough, but not as much as he pretended sometimes. She guessed the reason he was nuts about her was because he hadn't ever been loved.

She leaned back on her bed, sighing. She was so lucky. She didn't have any problems; she hadn't been abandoned, never in a foster home, never had to take responsibility for much of anything. Lance, he knew about Things, in his great worldly way. He knew that dreams didn't pay rents, and that love couldn't buy food. He knew and worked hard to change things. He didn't have to take care of the Brotherhood; he didn't have to care.

But he did. And that was why she loved him. That and those dimples…

She was jerked out of her reverie when she heard a faint 'ping'. She was still, and listened for another few moments. She had almost dismissed it as wishful thinking when two more soft 'pings' echoed through the room. She bounced off her bed and threw open the window joyously.


"Lance!" She called, surprised.

"Kitty … I … I, uh…" Lance didn't know what to say.

"Hold on a minute, I'll be right down!" Kitty changed into her clothes quickly, and then phased herself out the window and falling squarely in Lance's waiting arms.

"I'm sorry."

"I am, too, Lance. I just wasn't… I mean, I know…" She stopped when his finger tapped her lips. He shook his head faintly, pushing up her chin and letting his lips touch hers softly. A dreamy smile spread over her face.

"Let's not fight, Kitty," He whispered, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She wrapped her own around his waist.

"OK." She leaned into him, causing him to sway off the path slightly.

"Hey!" He whispered.

"You still owe me a salad at Gut Bomb's!" They grinned and she climbed into the jeep happily.

"You've got to teach me to drive one day, Lance," She said. He looked at her, raising an eyebrow.


"We'll see about that. From what I hear, you aren't too great with the X-Jet." She pushed him gently, causing him to steer the car off the road. Kitty phased them through a row of mailboxes and their laughter could be heard into the night.

* * *

* Not that I think that Toad and Pietro have only one brain cell. I think Toad is a little cutie (if only he bathed!) and Pietro is my true love (My computer is named after him) but since this story is sort of heavily toned by Kitty (most of the narrative follows either her or Lance's train of thought) it was really a stylistic decision. That and it earned a few laughs before things got serious.

** Don't get your hopes up. Though I love Luna (I hate Crystal, for the most part, but love Luna) and the angst she brings out in Pie, dearest Quicksilver is, as mentioned, too young. Though it wouldn't surprised me if she popped up somewhere in a story soon … along with Rachel Summers… And Talia Wagner (?) … hmm…

*** My personal favorite line in this entire fic. I just love it. It's part of my crusade against Nyquil, I suppose. Did you know Dayquil is for hangovers? Yeah, thought I'd let everyone know.

Please tell me what you think -- any feedback is appreciated! Even the flames!