Of Secret Admirers
Miyagi knew the secretary was new when she asked, "does Kamijou-sensei have a girlfriend?"
It was a tough question to answer -- Kamijou did not, technically, have a girlfriend; would probably fight tooth and nail to deny that assertion. Certainly that kid Kamijou did have was nowhere near being a girl. At the same time, the sentiment of the question ("is Kamijou-sensei single so I can start hitting on him") probably required he make mentions of a lover.
In light of that, Miyagi replied, "No, he doesn't have a girlfriend. I think his attitude scares most women off."
He could see the secretary's smile widen a bit. "He's not that bad. I mean, I heard he yells a lot, but I haven't really experienced it myself? Ah, but then, I tend to get things done on time for him."
Just for that, Miyagi was going to be a nice guy and help her out. "Oh, you're right. Kamijou-sensei is generally a nice person, deep down inside. It's just very, very, very deep inside. It takes a lot of effort to get his real self to show."
As expected, it made the woman -- Tachibana, right, that was her name -- more determined. "I'm sure he's only hesitant around strange older men."
They both laughed awkwardly, and Miyagi decided he was definitely going to cheer her on now. "I assure you, Kamijou's students feel his wrath more often than I do."
"Well, he doesn't seem to like incompetence. Thank you for your time, Professor." She left his office, taking the empty coffee mugs with her. Miyagi lit a cigarette once she was out of the room.
Well, it looked like he'd found his entertainment for the next week.
It was a little bit sad to see how hard Tachibana was trying, and how absolutely oblivious Kamijou was to it all. She brought them both coffee or tea during breaks, although Miyagi was sure if he weren't sharing an office with Kamijou he'd be excluded from her coffee run. She would try to chit-chat with Kamijou, who answered nonchalantly and had half of his attention elsewhere.
The only minor breakthrough was when she mentioned liking Usami Akihiko books. Miyagi wondered who had told her that little tip -- as usual, Kamijou's attitude did a one-eighty as he started gushing about Usami's "masterpieces."
"Kamijou-sensei, you almost sound like you know Usami-sensei personally," she remarked after one particularly long explanation. Miyagi had to stifle a laugh, though it didn't stop Tachibana from shooting a glare at him.
"Oh, I do know him. Akihiko and I are childhood friends," Kamijou said casually. Not wasting the opportunity, Tachibana immediately started acting surprised.
"Really? What sort of person is he? He must be amazing, to write such wonderful works. Do you think you could--"
A loud cell phone tone interrupted her. She immediately glared at Miyagi again, to which he could only shrug his shoulders. His cell phone didn't have a cutesy ring tone. That honor belonged to Kamijou, who had given him a long and hard explanation as to why he couldn't change it (it basically boiled down to "Nowaki set it like this"). Kamijou was now fumbling desperately to get the phone answered.
"Ah, hello -- yeah, hi." Bowing his head lightly in apology to Tachibana, Kamijou let himself out of the office.
With an audible sigh, Tachibana sat down in Kamijou's now vacant seat. "I wonder who that was."
Miyagi lit a cigarette and took a long drag before answering, "It might be his family? They call a lot." If you considered lovers as part of your family, which he was pretty sure Kamijou did.
She hmmed loudly and didn't say anymore. Miyagi was glad for it; he could finally get back to doing his work -- it currently consisted of doodles on the margins of cabbage getting mutilated.
When Kamijou entered the office again, he was slightly red in the face and quite obviously excited about something. Obvious to him, anyway -- Tachibana stood up to get a closer look at him and asked, concerned, "Are you all right? You look flushed."
That only made Kamijou blush harder. "No, ah, it's all right." Turning to Miyagi, he added, "I'm going home early today. Finish grading your papers, Professor!"
"Such a slave-driver, Kamijou!"
No reaction. Kamijou was already packing his things, probably looking forward to whatever date he had set up. Tachibana looked on in confusion. "You're leaving already?"
"Ah, um, yeah. Something came up." Miyagi could see Kamijou trying very hard to suppress his smile. Ah, how nice it must be to be young and in love.
Tachibana tried to hint that Kamijou should stay, but he either didn't get it or was just brushing her off. Miyagi wondered how long she'd put up with that kind of reaction, and how much it would take to get her to give up. He had bet at least a week, but she seemed tenacious enough to possibly keep wooing Kamijou for two or three.
"He's a little bit dense," she stated after he'd gone.
Miyagi couldn't suppress his laughter anymore. "Just a little bit? You have to spell it out before he notices anything."
He expected her to leave now, since Kamijou was gone, but she turned to him instead. "It's Kamijou-sensei's birthday in a couple of days. What do you think he'd like to have?"
He probably wanted everybody to forget about his birthday and spend a quiet night at home with his big scary lover. "Well, he loves novels, but trust me when I say that he already has almost everything he'd want to read. The other thing... he likes good alcohol."
She raised her eyebrows. "Really? He doesn't seem like the drinking type."
"Oh, yeah, definitely. If the sake's good, he won't stop drinking. Actually, yeah, we should invite him out for drinks! You should see him loosen up when he's drunk."
This seemed to pique her interest; she immediately grinned. "I'll ask him out for drinks on Friday."
"Hmm... Friday's no good. He always has plans on Friday. You should ask on Thursday, Kamijou never refuses to go out on Thursdays." Miyagi thought it was maybe a bit sad that he knew not only Kamijou's schedule, but Kamijou's boyfriend's schedule like this. Still, if Kamijou wanted to make it that easy to figure out, it was his own problem.
Tachibana appeared satisfied, as she picked up the empty mugs and left the office. Oh, this was going to be interesting.
Thursday came, and Kamijou accepted the invitation to go drinking with the literature department. Tachibana even made a big show of Kamijou's birthday, which made Kamijou blush terribly. He couldn't refuse the gift though, and Miyagi doubted he wanted to -- it was good Choya-brand plum wine, and Miyagi wished he had not-so-secret admirers who would give him nice gifts.
Tonight was the night Tachibana was going to give up though, Miyagi bet to himself. Kamijou was already slightly tipsy, and hanging all over one of the other assistant professors. Kobayashi was tall with a broad frame, and if you were very drunk he could sort of pass for Nowaki.
"Kobayashi, your hands are kind of cold," Kamijou said, making Kobayashi extremely uncomfortable. He only chuckled and tried to push Kamijou off, while everybody else around the table had a loud laugh.
Miyagi felt a bit sorry for the guy though. "Here, pass Kamijou to me. I know how to keep my sweet little assistant in line~"
Kamijou glared. "You are sexually harassing me, Professor. Don't touch me, or I'll tell on you."
"Yes, yes. I don't want to get beat up by your massive lover."
Somebody punched Miyagi in the arm; Tachibana looked shocked. Kamijou didn't notice any of this and started saying, "Ohhh, my lover's the best. Could beat you up any time. Like that one time. Stupid doctor work shift.... "
And so it started. No matter how much anybody else tried to change the subject, Kamijou just somehow related it back to his lover. Miyagi had to give him a bit of credit for being able to, even when drunk, not once mention the man's name or gender.
"What's going on?" Tachibana whispered, extremely confused.
"Oh, right, you're new. Kamijou-sensei gets like this," Kobayashi told her. "We've never met this woman, but she is apparently the best person in the world. A cross between a cat and a St. Bernard, apparently."
Miyagi didn't bother hiding his laugh when Tachibana shot him a look that said she wanted to murder him. He was right, this had been fun.
Two weeks later, Shinobu was waiting for him in his office.
"What's this?" Shinobu demanded, pointing at a small gift-wrapped box lying on Miyagi's table.
"I, er, don't know. I haven't opened it yet."
Wrong answer. Shinobu threw the box at Miyagi and stormed out, yelling, "Don't even bother coming over tonight!"
Kamijou came in as Miyagi was unwrapping the present. "Did the dean's son find you? I thought he might be interested to know you were receiving presents from random people."
The box was empty, with just a note, "thanks for everything," written inside. Miyagi sent a glance at Kamijou -- maybe he was a little bit more clever than Miyagi gave him credit for.
C&C appreciated!