For the prompt on the castlefanficprompts page: Kate gets drunk, and wakes up with a tattoo of Rick's name. Post or pre, either's fine.
Disclaimer: I think Alex and Steph have the permission to kick me hypothetically now. So no.
"You're freaking out," Castle says calmly and she fights the urge to throw something at him, because yes, she is freaking out and how dare he be the one not freaking out.
"No, I'm not," Kate hisses, tugging wildly at the sheet she has wrapped around her, still struggling to get out of the bed (the bed she just woke up in with her partner oh god).
(All she can remember is their case had led them to Vegas, to a club, where they had to poise as a couple undercover. She remembers catching the guy, the police cuffing him and then thanking them for their help. And then she and Castle… went to the hotel? Had a few drinks… Oh no.)
"You are," he counters in that same, aggravating tone. He jerks firmly on the sheet that she is clutching to her body, prompting a squawk and a slap on the hand from her.
"Would you stop it, I'm naked under here!" Kate snaps, yanking again on the sheet.
"Yeah, well, I'm naked under here!" Rick growls back, finally obtaining the sheet, and he covers his lap. "Would you just stay where you are?"
"Oh," Kate mutters lamely. "Sorry. I just, I-" And he can probably see that Kate is blushing from head to toe, uncomfortable and uncertain like she almost never is – usually too poised and too calm to be anything but rational and self-aware.
(And she's about to die from embarrassment.)
"I know," Rick says, trying to appease her worry. "But you need to stop freaking out."
"Castle," Kate answers, "Rick, we got drunken married and we had drunken sex – and absolutely none of this worries you? What about this, this tattoo?" She points to the tattoo on her ankle, the black ink forming a picture of a castle, with his name inside it. She notices that he has a matching one on his ankle too. Just with her name.
Great.
What about our friendship? She wants to ask. Doesn't it matter to you? Aren't you terrified this will ruin everything? That it will ruin us? What she has had with Rick Castle for the past year or so has been the most rewarding, wonderful, ridiculous thing in all of creation.
(Not that she'd admit that to anyone but herself.)
In the beginning, he and his wild, outrageous stories had irked her soul, making her bitter and angry until she started to accept the fact that Castle was not going to leave anytime soon.
And then suddenly, the moment everything turned to absolute shit, all Kate had to do was turn around and Rick would be there, a cup of coffee in hand and that stupid, puppy dog smile quirked across his lips that always made her stupid heart flutter.
"Why would it worry me?" Rick demands suddenly, twisting to stare Kate in the eye, the sheet on his lap dipping down distractingly low as he moved. "What's wrong with being married to me?"
Nothing. Everything. The fact I care about you more than you do me. The fact I don't want to be one of your failed marriages. The fact that I somehow fell in love with you from the beginning.
She's trying to not say all of that. But then it spills out.
"Castle," Kate says, trying to sound patient but failing miserably, "You don't love me." And wasn't that just the worst part? She's tried to bite down on the growing feelings over the past few months, has tried to pretend like falling for Castle isn't the worst thing she's ever done – but she knows she hasn't managed it in the slightest. Waking up this morning, aching in all the right places, curled up in strong arms, ring on her finger – it had been something out of a dream. But it had all come crashing down rather suddenly and now, it's all she can do not to hide away in the bathroom, breathing ragged breaths, trying to stomp down on the panic attack she knows is hovering just around the corner.
The utter hurt that crosses Rick's face makes it difficult for Kate to breathe.
"Of course I love you," he says, his tone wounded. "How could you say something like that?" He looks so devastated at the thought that before Kate can even think twice, she's crawling back across the bed to settle in front of Castle, their knees brushing.
Kate says, "But not romantically. Not the way a husband loves a wife – the way two people need to be if they're going to be married. To want to wake up next to someone for the rest of your life, to want to make all their favorite foods, to curl up next to while watching crappy sci-fi movies, to go to games and make fun of each other's teams, to wear each other's clothes around the house, to take care of – for forever."
And damn it if Kate hasn't just described everything she's ever wanted with Rick. She wonders if there's a bridge nearby she can throw herself off of, because knowing that this thing with Castle will end, Kate's not sure if she can go back to pretending that she doesn't know how Rick's body feels beneath her hands, how his mouth tastes against hers. Her gaze falls to her hands and she tries to force himself to breathe.
But when she looks up, the way Castle is staring at her makes her mouth go dry, his hands clenching and unclenching mindlessly on the sheet in their grip. "Why wouldn't I want that?" Rick asks quietly. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Kate, other than my daughter. Why wouldn't I want all of that with you?" He tries to smile, but she sees the fear and hesitance behind it. "I mean, I know why you wouldn't want all that with me, but to me you're almost perfect. You're so far out of my league, it isn't even funny." He reaches out, as if to brush a strand of hair from Kate's eyes, but pulls back at the last moment, uncertainty written in every movement.
"Shut up," Kate demands, snatching up Rick's hand in her own and pressing her palm to his cheek, holding it there. "Don't talk about yourself like that. Not ever." She closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. "I could only do this if I knew you meant it. If I knew you could love me the way I need you to. Because honestly, you idiot," Kate says, huffing out a wet laugh, "No one could ever love you as much as I do." Rick's whole face lights up.
"I can," he promises, eager like a puppy as usual. "I already love you more than anyone else and I want this, I've wanted this for so long. I'm sorry it happened this way I wish you'd had more than a drunken Vegas wedding night. Just give me a chance, Kate. Let me be your husband, I promise you won't regret it."
She knows that this could ruin everything, that this could turn messy and horrible in a blink of an eye – but she can't possibly think with Castle looking at her like that – like she's hung the moon and lit the stars all at once. All she can see is a distant, fuzzy future of the two of them holding hands, rings warm from their bodies, their smiles soft as they look at one another.
"I won't," Kate promises, knowing full well that having Rick Castle as her own could never be something to regret.
(Now on to figure out how to explain to their friends and family how they went from hating each other to getting married.)
I JUST STUDIED 7 HOURS FOR MY BIO EXAM ON MONDAY.
(I am also sort of 797 miles away from home.)
So can you all be darlings and review for me :)
(And I hope to continue this when I get back from exams. Now seriously. Au revoir.)