The Wand Chooses the Wizard

by MagicalMysteryPhantom

"The wand chooses the wizard, Harry Potter. Though it is not always clear why." Mr. Ollivander said. Harry sputtered in outrage. "But- but- this isn't a wand! Everyone else I've seen have wands that look like carved sticks! This looks like something Cinderella's Godmother would have!" Crack fic I guess

1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

THE WAND CHOOSES THE WIZARD

"No." Harry said. "I won't. I just won't."

"The wand chooses the wizard, Harry Potter. Though it is not always clear why." Mr. Ollivander said.

Harry sputtered in outrage. "But – but – this isn't a wand! Everyone else I've seen have wands that look like carved sticks! This looks like something Cinderella's Godmother would have!"

Mr. Ollivander tried his best to hide a smile. "I'll give you a discount, Mr. Potter."

Harry glared at him. "No."

The wand in question was pink and sparkly. At the top was a purple star with multicolored ribbons hanging down.

"Let me try another one."

Mr. Ollivander shook his head. "You've already tried all of them, Mr. Potter."

"No – this can't be!" Harry said.

"It is," Mr. Ollivander replied.

"I refuse!"

"You can't."

"I just did!"

"Very well, Mr. Potter, you may go and find a different wand maker." Mr. Ollivander said.

"I believe Kaman is still in business."

Harry left the shop.

Ollivander walked into his backroom, chuckling. He packaged the gaudy wand and enclosed a note to Kaman, then threw it into the fire with some Floo Powder. Who knew that tormenting costumers could be so much fun?