A/N: This is my 2nd fanfiction. I'm also working on my other story The Maruders vs. The NewMs so check it out. Enjoy!
101 Ways to Get Ron and Hermione Together
By Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley (featuring Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinett, and Colin Creevy)
1. "Ron!"
"Yeah, Harry?"
"Come quick. Ginny has fainted!"
"Is Ginny alright Harry?"
"Ask Hermione. She's tending to her."
"Mione' is Ginny alright?"
"Yeah she's fine now."
(Ginny wakes up, pretending that she has no idea what just happened.)
"What happened?"
"You fainted and Hermione helped revive you."
"Well, Ron maybe you should do something nice in return as thanks. After all if Hermione hadn't helped me I could have a concussion right now."
"Okay, Hermione you don't have to help me with my HW tonight."
2. "I wonder if Hermione has gotten a letter from Krum today."
"Why do you say that Harry?"
"Because she seems to be in a daze and she's always like that when she gets a letter from Krum."
"They're still writing to each other? She told me that they had stopped."
"Er, no she was lying. She just didn't want you to get jealous again."
"Jealous, who's jealous? Not me!" crack
'Ron, you just smashed that cup. If you're mad about it then why don't you do something about it?"
"I will. Hey Hermione I thought you stopped writing to that git!"
3. "Hi Fred. Hi George."
"Hi Hermione. What say you play a game with us?"
"Yeah Hermione, play a game!"
"What game?"
"Why Christmas time of course!"
"How do you play that?"
"Well you stand here and whoever happens to pass through under the mistletoe you have to kiss them."
"Yeah, for example our dear brother Ronald. In fact I have it on a very good source that he needs to come in here and play chess with Harry."
"How about no. Goodbye Fred, goodbye George."
4. "Ron, I think we should have a nice sister to brother friendly chat."
"About what Ginny?"
"About how you seem to be in absence of a girlfriend. You seem quite lonely these days and I think it might be because everyone else is paired off; Harry and me, Fred and Angelina, George and Alicia. You should go find a nice girl, who's smart, pretty, nice, and has brown hair and brown eyes."
"Good idea!"
"Really?"
"Yeah. Hey Christine? Want to go to Hogsmeade with me?"
Bang Bang Bang
"Ginny, why are you banging your head against the table?"
5. "Hermione, you should get a boyfriend."
"What makes you say that Harry?"
"Because I know someone who's very interested in you, but is too shy to show it."
"Who?"
"Just someone."
"Well I don't want a boyfriend. I have you, Ron, and Ginny, my best friends ever."
"But I really think that you should get a boyfriend."
"Why is it such a big deal to you? Are you interested in me Harry? Do you not love Ginny any more?"
"No! I'm still going out with Ginny! I'm just concerned about your welfare that's all."
"Stop then. Go take care of Ron or something. I have Transfigurations HW to finish."
6. "Ginny, someone sent me a love letter!"
"Who's it from?"
"I don't know. All it says is 'To my dearest; Love R.W.' I wonder what R.W. stands for."
"You know a lot of people whose initials are R.W."
"Of course! It could be Reggie Winston, Ricardo Winthrop, Ralph Wenderston, Richard Watts, Renaldo We---"
"Arrgh!"
7. "I think I'm catching a cold Harry. Can you take me to the Hospital Wing?"
"Okay Ginny. Will you two be okay here?"
"Yeah mate. We're in the common room. We can't get any safer then this."
"Speaking of safe I don't really think this room is all that safe after all. Why don't you and Hermione go someplace even safer. Follow me."
(They follow Harry to a door and he opens the door.)
"In here Harry? Are you nutters?"
"No. I'm only concerned for you and Ron's safety. You never know when Voldemort might show up and the last place he would check is in a broom closet."
(He pretends to trip and knocks both Ron and Hermione into the broom closet.)
"Hey Harry let us out!!! Bang"
"Harry, Ginny this isn't funny. Listen to Ron and let us out please."
"I think they've actually went to the hospital wing."
"Even if they have they shouldn't lock us in a broom closet. Don't they know what usually happens in a broom closet?"
"…………"
"Stop it! That's not what I meant. Besides maybe this is one of Harry and Ginny's favorites."
"HARRY! GINNY! LET US OUT RIGHT NOW OR DIE!"
8. "Hi Forge."
"Hi Gred."
"It seems like our dear brother Ronald is a bit down in the dumps."
"Yes indeed."
"I'm right here you know."
(Fred and George ignore him.)
"Do you think we should tell him?"
"I don't know it might be harder to believe if we actually say it out loud."
"What is it???!!"
"Oh hello Ron."
"What do you know that's so hard to believe?"
"Well someone fancies you and we can't figure out for the lives of us why someone would be that crazy."
"Who is it?"
"Well her initials are H.G."
"You should ask her out Ron, so that you don't hurt her feelings."
"Okay I'll go find Helen Ginarte. Her initials are 'H.G.' and she's hot too."
"That's not what we----"
"Too late Forge; he's already talking to Helen."
9. "Hermione I need help with a math problem."
"Okay what is it Harry?"
"So you have 6 people; 2 girls, 4 boys. 1 of the boys and 1 of the girls are in love with each other, but they're too timid to admit it. The other 4 are trying to get the pair together, but so far they've tried 8 different times, all of them ending in failure. How many more times do think the 4 friends will have to try and get the boy and girl to admit their love for each other?"
"The answer should be 2 more times making it 10 times before the boy and girl gets together. It's very logical."
"That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?"
"Oh never mind."
10. "I have a great idea for a rainy day!"
"What is it Ginny?"
"We can practice for the play Romea and Julie."
"You mean Romeo and Juliet, Ginny?"
"That's what I meant Hermione. What do the rest of you think? Ron? Harry? Fred? George?"
"What would we be practicing this for Ginny?"
"For the talent show at the end of the year, duh Ron!"
"And you and Hermione can be Romeo and Juliet. Right Gred?"
"Right Forge."
"That means that you two have to spend every minute with each other. 24/7 you two are in character. That means that you both have to hold hands, kiss, cuddle, etc." said Harry.
"Cool! I get to murder that prince dude!"
"Um, that's not the point Ron. The point is that you two are supposed to be secret lovers."
"Oh. Then I don't want to play Romeo. Why don't you and Harry play Romeo and Juliet? You guys are already a couple."
"Boy is he dense Forge."
"You got that right Gred."
11. "Aaagh spider!"
"So?"
"It's gigantic!"
"Harry, I don't think that anything can get bigger than Aragog. Nice try."
"No really it's gigantic and it has two beady black eyes and there's blood dripping from it!"
"Really?! Aaagh, Hermione help me!"
"Ron, it's just a spider."
"Just a spider?! Harry said that it was gigantic, had beady black eyes and that there was blood dripping from it!"
"There's no such thing. Harry was lying to you. I wonder why though…"
"Yeah, me too."
"Ron, shouldn't you thank Hermione for telling you the truth? I mean otherwise you probably would have run into a wall or something."
"Okay, thanks Mione'."
"That's it?" (Harry face changes to disappointment.)
"Yes it is Harry. Now I don't know what you're on lately, but you should stop taking it. Maybe you'll stop lying to us."
"But, but…"
"Goodbye Harry; see you later."
12. "Ron guess what just happened!!"
"What Ginny?"
"I just found out that you got an 'A' on your Transfiguration paper."
"Really?! That's wonderful."
"Yeah, it must be due to all of the help you've been receiving from Hermione."
"Probably."
"You know you should go over there and show her your gratitude."
"That's a good idea Ginny. Oi Hermione!"
"What do you want Ron?"
"You're the best tutor ever. Thanks!"
"Your welcome!"
"Happy now Ginny?"
"Er, sure…"
13. "I'm bored."
"Me too."
"Well Ron and Hermione, Fred and I have a solution to your bordomness. We will tell you a story!!"
"Aren't stories for babies?"
"Be quiet brother! Anyways there once were two teenagers, one boy and one girl."
"They cared for each other very deeply, but neither of them decide to acknowledge it."
"But then came along two dashing young twin men who told them a story. Finally when the story was over, the two teenagers kissed and became a couple."
"They then lived happily ever after. The end."
"…………"
"That was a stupid story."
14. "Hermione!"
"Yeah, Ginny?"
"Look Ron is hanging out with Lavender Brown again!"
"I thought that he broke up with her."
"He did. Why, are you jealous? Aren't you going to try and do something about it?"
"Maybe…hey what are you getting at Ginny?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are you trying to start a fight between me and Ron? Because if you are then you aren't being a very good friend or sister."
"Well my scheme did involve you and Ron, only not exactly in the terms you're thinking about…"
"Well just leave us out of you schemes from now on."
smack, smack, smack
15. "Oh, look the post is here!"
"Do you have any interesting news Harry?"
"Yeah Ginny. In this letter from anonymous it says that my two best friends will become a couple."
(Ron and Hermione interrupt)
"It says what?!"
"That's such a ludicrous idea Harry. Be serious now. Because of you-know-who and all I wouldn't go listening to random letters, especially if they sign it anonymous."
"But it would be perfect to fool Voldemort! I mean the last thing he expects is for two people who 'hate' each other to all of a sudden be a couple!"
"I agree with Harry. It's an ideal trick!"
"Harry, I know that you and Ginny influence each other as a couple, but do you by any means have her under the influence? I mean Ron and I have already caught you on something already; you don't need to be forcing your bad habits onto your girlfriend."
"Now who's coming up with the ludicrous ideas?"
16. "Congratulations!"
"For what?" (Ron)
"You are the lucky winner of an all-expense paid trip to the Room of Requirement, where one pretty girl will be waiting for you to complete the evening. It's all there: a girl, i.e. your date, food, and a movie to hold hands and cuddle during!"
"Okay, Angelina. I know that you didn't come up with this on your own. Did Fred put you up to this?"
"Yes. Anyways do you accept your prize? All you have to do is sign right here to guarantee that you'll be there."
"Nice try. I'll guess for tonight I'll have to be an unlucky loser because I won an all-expense paid trip to the bathroom. Bye!"
(Meanwhile…)
17. "Gosh, you're so lucky Hermione!"
"What? Oh hello Alicia what's up?"
"Nothing except for my contemplation over how lucky you are!"
"And how exactly am I lucky?"
"A 'mysterious' guy wants to have a date with you tonight in the Room of Requirement. All you have to do is show up. There'll be food, a movie, and the boy of your dreams!"
"Did George put you up to this?"
"Well yes, but that's beside the point. So will you be going?"
"No I refuse to participate in anything that your prankster boyfriend has come up with. Knowing him I'll end up with a fake clone of a boy just to fool me."
18. "Ron guess what?!"
"What Harry?"
"Fred, George, and I have come up with the perfect strategy for the next game!"
"Oh cool. What is it?"
"Okay so this blue dot is the girl. This red dot is the boy. The green dot is the boy's best friend respectively and the yellow dot is the girl's best friend and the boy's sister respectively. So the yellow dot stands next to the red dot, while the green dot stands with the red dot. Eventually a purple dot, unknown male, comes along and flirts with the blue dot. The red dot get jealous and moves in to rescue the blue dot. The blue dot is so appreciative that the blue dot and the red dot become a couple, while the purple dot disappears and the green and yellow dots go off to snog in a corner."
"…………"
"Er, Harry?
"Yeah?"
"What does that strategy have to do with Quidditch?"
"Who said anything about Quidditch?"
"Oh."
19. "Excuse me? Hermione I think it is?"
"Yes, Colin? What would you like?"
"Can I take a picture of you and Ron?"
"I don't see why not. Hey Ron get over here! Colin wants to take our picture together."
( Ron comes over and stands at least a foot away from Hermione.)
"My camera isn't that wide. Can you move a little closer? Hmm, no that's still to far apart. Okay I'll tell you went to stop moving. Closer, closer, closer, closer, closer, perfect!"
"How is this perfect?! I'm basically in Ron's lap!"
"Well excuse me for not having a camera with the right width lens. I just wanted to get a picture of the boy-who-lives best friends."
"Fine, fine just snap the picture already!"
Snap
"Thanks! Bye!"
"That was weird Hermione. If I didn't know any better I might think that he was working for Harry…"
20. "Hermione! Why didn't you tell me?"
"I have a feeling I'm missing something here Ginny. What didn't I tell you?"
"That you had a one night stand with Ron and that now you're expecting his child? You guys will make the cutest couple!"
"WHAT?! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THIS?!"
"The grapevine of course. It's all over school. No need to be ashamed Hermione. I've always wanted you in the family."
"NO WAY IN HELL DID THAT HAPPEN! I AM NOT PREGGERS!"
"Oh well it was worth a shot anyways…"
"What was that Ginny?"
"Nothing, nothing at all."
A/N: Please review! If you happen to have any ideas for upcoming chapters then tell me.