Dear Ms. Rowling,
I hope this finds you well and enjoying life. I was delighted to hear you had a son recently, and I must give my congratulations on that as well. This newest addition to your family must have brought you and your husband much joy.
I suppose you are wondering why I am writing this missive. I have been a fan of yours for quite some time now. I find myself waiting on pins and needles to see what adventures you will come up with next, You might even say my life hangs in the balance some days.
To cut to the chase, I need your help. It's gotten rather desperate, here in the last few months. The situations I find myself in are becoming increasingly. . . abnormal. . .. and quite frequently, I feel as though I am no longer myself. It is beginning to worry me greatly.
Of course, I am speaking of Fan Fiction. Through this medium, I have found myself in countless odd situations with even stranger outcomes. In the past week alone, I have aged well beyond my years, regressed into infancy, visited numerous places, saved the world, cheated death, faced down Voldemort more times than I can count and fallen in love with about 90% of the people I am acquainted with.
This last bit is the most disturbing to me. You would not believe me if I told you some of the things I have been compelled to do recently with Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Cho, Draco, Professor Lupin, Snape, and even Professor Dumbledore. While some of these weren't so bad at the time, all are beyond my control and must be stopped for the sake of my sanity.
This is where you can help me. I have heard that you are writing the next volume in my series, and I must ask you, for the love of everything good and holy, FINISH IT.
I noticed when the last tome (I believe you titled it "Order of the Phoenix." Rather catchy, I thought.) was set before your readers, my friends and I were given a respite while they devoured your novel. It was a breath of fresh air, and I think I speak for everyone when I say it was greatly needed and appreciated.
Since that time, however, the Fan Fiction has become even more prolific, sending me on more dangerous missions, placing me in more dire straits, and inserting me into more, how shall I say it. . . delicate situations. I don't know how much more I can take.
On behalf of everyone here, I would like to urge you to finish the next installment as quickly as humanly possible. Quite honestly, I am at wits' end about the whole situation and can no longer hold myself responsible for my actions.
Thank you for your time and consideration on this matter. I shall leave you now to continue your work.
Best Regards,
Harry Potter
I hope this finds you well and enjoying life. I was delighted to hear you had a son recently, and I must give my congratulations on that as well. This newest addition to your family must have brought you and your husband much joy.
I suppose you are wondering why I am writing this missive. I have been a fan of yours for quite some time now. I find myself waiting on pins and needles to see what adventures you will come up with next, You might even say my life hangs in the balance some days.
To cut to the chase, I need your help. It's gotten rather desperate, here in the last few months. The situations I find myself in are becoming increasingly. . . abnormal. . .. and quite frequently, I feel as though I am no longer myself. It is beginning to worry me greatly.
Of course, I am speaking of Fan Fiction. Through this medium, I have found myself in countless odd situations with even stranger outcomes. In the past week alone, I have aged well beyond my years, regressed into infancy, visited numerous places, saved the world, cheated death, faced down Voldemort more times than I can count and fallen in love with about 90% of the people I am acquainted with.
This last bit is the most disturbing to me. You would not believe me if I told you some of the things I have been compelled to do recently with Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Cho, Draco, Professor Lupin, Snape, and even Professor Dumbledore. While some of these weren't so bad at the time, all are beyond my control and must be stopped for the sake of my sanity.
This is where you can help me. I have heard that you are writing the next volume in my series, and I must ask you, for the love of everything good and holy, FINISH IT.
I noticed when the last tome (I believe you titled it "Order of the Phoenix." Rather catchy, I thought.) was set before your readers, my friends and I were given a respite while they devoured your novel. It was a breath of fresh air, and I think I speak for everyone when I say it was greatly needed and appreciated.
Since that time, however, the Fan Fiction has become even more prolific, sending me on more dangerous missions, placing me in more dire straits, and inserting me into more, how shall I say it. . . delicate situations. I don't know how much more I can take.
On behalf of everyone here, I would like to urge you to finish the next installment as quickly as humanly possible. Quite honestly, I am at wits' end about the whole situation and can no longer hold myself responsible for my actions.
Thank you for your time and consideration on this matter. I shall leave you now to continue your work.
Best Regards,
Harry Potter