A/N: This was co-written by myself and Dani-Carip in four minutes of cracktastic fantasticality. This is not to be read by Handy (Doctor 10.5) lovers. Requires artistic interpretation on the part of the readers. Please ignore spellnge erog. Dani Carip taking over because Opulent was seized in the terrible clutches of a foot cramp. While I've got the mic (...keyboard) I'd like to note that I am indeed a Handy lover, as evidenced by the two Handy fics on MY account, which I unsportingly did not want to disgrace with this much crack. PANGOLINS. Allons-y!
"Why, yes, I will marry you Doctah!"
THE END
Epilogue:
"But, Rose—I thought we had something special!"
"Sorry, Handy, but you're no Doctah!"
"D:"
"That's my wife! :D"
"Yes I am Doctah! :DDDDDDDD"
"AUGUUUUUGH WHY ARE YOU ZAPPING ME WITH THAT LASER BEAM ROSE AUGH MAKE THE BURNING STOopp…"
"no."
"yis."
"whehrz the tahhhhdis—AUGH AGAIN ROSE WHY?!?!?"
"Because you are the hostess with the mostess and therefore you must be cartamelized and served with whip cream at tea, which is innnn…Doctah?"
"Two minutes! Keep browning, Handy, you're looking delicious!"
"Martha would be proud."
"Jones?"
"Nah, Stewart."
"*FLAMES*"
"Ooh, 'e looks lahvely Doctah!! Can I 'ave a bite of 'im?"
"Mum, what're you doin' here?"
"Jackie—whot? How did you get—whot?!?!"
"You look like Richard Gere, mum, put some clothes on!"
"Ah, darling, you've never lost tha' high 'n mighty attitude o' yours. You know Doctah she's 'ad it since nursery school, always yammin' on about 'ow 'er ol' mum needed moah of this or o' tha'.."
"D:"
"Well, Rose, your mum certainly does have one point—he is browning up nicely. Another few seconds, and I think we can start sprinkling on the powdered sugar!"
"It'll be almost like snow, Doctah—you do love the snow! :D"
"New newn nenwnennenwnw "
"Ah, I think he's done! Here, Mum, go get the plates out of the TARDIS—second cupboard to your left."
"No, I moved them since you left. Third—wait, no, still the second."
"Would you like the honors, Doctah?"
"Love to! *SLICE*"
VWORP VWORP VWORP
"Oo's that, then?"
"HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
"Ooh, look, tha' one wif the glasses looks a bit like you Doctah!"
"Meeehhhh… dunno, maybe with a bit of hair gel…"
"Doctah, don't be silly, wif a LOT of hair gel."
"And tha' blondie is tha' spittin' image of yeh, Rose darling."
"Wellll…*SPLATTER* There! Bit of makeup, right as rain."\
"Yeehhh,,, yeah, tha's exactly right, just a bit of makeup… just a bit, tha's all………….."
"And WHOT d'you mean by tha', Doctah?"
"Eer…I loveyou?"
"And?"
"More than Handy?"
"Thaaa's what I wanted to hear."
"Oh God! You two are worse than your father and I were, Rosie! Ge' a room or somefing!"
"WE WILL COME WITH YOU."
"AND BRING PIE."
~*~ the end ~*~