AN: I wrote this because I really needed something to not only explain why Jo decided not to go to Titan but also I needed her to not be quite as blasé about her decision as she appeared on screen.
Jo hurried into her office after her final interview with Senator Wen. She was feeling slightly panicked and breathing heavily. "What did I just do? Did I really just give up a chance to go to Titan?" The decision felt right but Jo was starting to second guess herself a little.
She felt agitated and restless. She began wandering around her office straightening up items here and there, items that were already perfectly in place. "I just gave up a chance to be an astronaut, good Lord I wonder what Rico would say about that. Ha, I know exactly what he'd say. Girl you're a Lupo and Lupo's Don't back away from a challenge." He'd be right of course, and he'd probably shake his head at her telling her she was crazy, but she didn't feel crazy. "Maybe I am though… Maybe I've just completely lost my mind."
Realizing that she was in the middle of making a third round of cleaning her already pristine office Jo forced herself to sit down at her desk. "I worked really hard for this. The isolation chamber fiasco, the increase to the amount of time I spend working out, all that time I spent studying with Zane, all that work and I just threw it away."
Jo thought about Zane and how much time he'd devoted to making sure she would pass her test. How hard he'd worked to prove to everyone that he deserved a chance. She closed her eyes and an imagine of Zane talking about the Titan mission swam before her. His face so animated, excited and his gorgeous blue eyes lit up like a little kids on Christmas morning.
She sent up a small prayer "Thank you God for letting him get selected for this. He's earned this. He worked harder than anyone else just too even be considered. If anyone really wants this it's him, so Thank you for giving him that chance. Amen."
Jo thought about the memory she'd shared with the selection committee. She could still remember how much it had hurt to break her arm and how she'd taken that pain and focused it on a goal. The sibling rivalry between her and her brothers had started long before that day. But that day had been when she had started not only trying to keep up with her brothers but to best them at everything.
Senator Wen had been right, it was exhausting to keep doing things to match or beat what her brothers had already done. They went to West Point so she had not only gone to West Point, but graduated at the top of her class. Rico had become an Army Ranger so she had become an Army Ranger. Mike Had earned top honors in marksmanship so she had earned top honors in marksmanship. Lucas had gone the Army's flight school and yep shocker Jo went too, graduating top of that class as well.
On and on it went, the boxing, the missions in Afghanistan. Jo realized she was actually the most highly trained and decorated member of her family. Each one of her brothers had chosen their own individual path in the Army. But her…No, she had followed not just the same path as one of them but of all of them. "Christ, any accomplishment any of them succeeded at I saw as a challenge. I'm pretty damn sure someone would tell me that's not exactly healthy."
Jo didn't regret a minute that she had spent in the Amy and she didn't regret any of the decisions she had made. But she was beginning to wonder if she had made them for the right reasons. She'd loved being in the Army. It was not just in her blood, it was who she was and had always been. "But there had been other options in the Army, other career choices that I didn't even consider. All because I needed to keep up with my brothers instead of doing something just for me."
Jo felt restless again. She stood up and started idly wandering around her office. "I was doing the same thing all over again trying to be part of the Astraeous mission. Only difference was that this time I was competing against the scientist and my friends not my brothers. This was my chance to prove that I was smart enough to go with them and I took it. This really was just another challenge for me, not something that I wanted for myself. "
Feeling a little calmer Jo sat back down. "Have I ever actually done anything just because it was what I wanted?" She knew the answer immediately "Yes, I came here to Eureka and I love it here. This, this is my path and my path alone."
Jo opened a drawer and pulled out a photo Fargo had given her after Zane had burned her house down. The picture of was of her and Fargo at one of Grace and Henry's barbeques and as she stared at it she realized something. She had been keeping a scoreboard in her head since she'd been a teenager of all the accomplishments she had matched with her brothers and she didn't want to start doing that with her friends as well. It was time to get rid of that board and just be happy for them and proud of everything they achieved.
Jo spoke quietly to the picture "I'm very proud of you, of you and Zane for making it this far in the selection process. I'm also very proud of my brothers and everything they are doing."
Jo now felt completely at peace with the decision she'd made today. "Right here in Eureka, this is where I want to be not Titan."
Smiling Jo got up and headed out to Café Diem to wait with her friends for the list of selectee's to be announced.
AN: I haven't marked this complete yet because I may continue it if I get some inspiration. Please review and let me know what you think of it so far :)