For Once

She says she's tired of waiting and he says he doesn't care. That pilot got married some years ago and had twin baby boys. The Commission settled down with a pretty woman with chesnut brown hair. And, against all odds, that ninja convinced that gunslinger to marry her. She's expecting a baby.

But the swordsman and brawler can't find it. That other friend found his little girl a mother but then again, who could deny Marlene.

Cloud Strife is a man of few words and even fewer when it came to a certain Tifa Lockhart. Everyone thought the Remnant incident would relieve him of his infinite grief but they were wrong. One year later, Deepground rekindled a sort of panic in the ex-SOLDIER. He wasted no time in getting the kids and Tifa to safety as he stormed off into battle to get himself killed. He didn't die but he came back...haunted.

He started mumbling about Zack and Shinra soldiers; Tifa thanked Minerva that Sephiroth wasn't on his mind anymore. But Cloud started locking himself in their room, sometimes screaming at an unknown intruder or crying himself into a restless slumber. Tifa didn't know what to do. What could she?

Aerith was a forbidden topic and Zack was even worse. Vincent attempted to put Cloud straight, Tifa didn't know what was said but ten minutes later Chaos's host came down looking more morose than usual. Cloud remained upstairs.

Denzel wanted to ask about his sword training but Cloud snapped at him, taking the make-shift wooden blade and throwing it across the room. It had a large crack down its center and split in two when Denzel touched it. Tifa sent the kids to Rocket Town to help Shera babysit Cid Jr. and Shalua while Cid Sr. started building another spaceship.

Cloud steadily got worse. He refused food and drink, wouldn't speak to anyone but Tifa and eventually went to live in Aerith's Church.

Tifa decided this was the final straw. After the whole Remnant fiasco, Tifa proposed to Cloud. He didn't say yes or no, in fact; he took a knee and asked her the exact same thing. Tifa wore the engagement ring with pride...

"I'm done with you."

"What?"

"I realize I can't possibly understand your feelings but I missed Aerith too, you know?" Strike 1. "That doesn't give you the right to scare Denzel shitless and destroy his vision of you! God, Cloud, you were his hero, for Gaia's sake!"

The spiky-haired swordsman bowed his head and murmured something under his breath, running a hand through his hair.

"I wish you'd just talk to me. Tell me what's wrong for once. Is this about Zack? Let me help." Strike 2.

"You can't. No one can."

"Bullshit." He'd never heard Tifa swear before not even when she was dealing with perverts in the bar. The brawler stared down at her hand and pulled off the ring, Cloud's eyes got very wide as she let it slip from her fingers and let it drop to the floor. It rolled around to face him, glittered in the sun, and Tifa wiped her eyes.

"I can't do this Cloud." Strike 3 "I can't be expected to take care of you. I just-I just want..." how he got up from the floor so fast she didn't know, she was a little more interested with the fact that his lips were on hers and his tongue was moving around in her mouth. He knew she needed it. The kiss was his apology. It said everything he couldn't.

I'm afraid, Tifa. I don't want to lose you and I don't want Denzel to be like me. Don't want to build his faith in an idol that could fall like Zack. I miss Aerith, maybe I loved her but...I think Zack's taking care of her now. I don't want Marlene and Denzel to end up like Shelke...I want to protect you all but sometimes I know I'm not strong enough. And then there are times when I know I don't deserve you. I can't help but be alone or push you away because I've grown used to being on my own. You give me everything I could want even when I'm drowning in ghosts of the past. You took a chance on me when I wouldn't even dare-

"You're worth everything." Tifa said, pulling away from him and smiling despite tears. "I would never give up on you. I just need some assurance."

"Assurance? I think I've got that covered." Cloud pressed his lips against hers again and slowly both sunk to their knees, Cloud eased Tifa onto her back and put his hands on her hips. Tifa wrapped an arm around his neck and buried a hand in his hair.

For once, Tifa felt that all the trials and tribulations were worth it. Her body was an outlet for their shared pains over the years; her lips were the instrument of their health.

For once, Cloud Strife didn't think or dwell on past mistakes. For the first time in years, Cloud felt...whole.

Author's Notes: I'm feeling rather depressed as of late so I wrote this. It's raining (which isn't bad), and I guess school's stressing and...there are things going on with me that I can't tell anyone.

I thought Cloud would be a perfect outlet for my brooding...I just wish I had someone like Tifa.