Extra: Faith, Love and that other thing

Kaylee was sat on the bench at the Sunnydale bus depot kicking her feet in the dirt and watching her breath mist in front of her eyes. It was a cold night and was snowing for the first time in years; in fact Kaylee could only remember it snowing on that one Christmas years ago. It was nearly midnight and there was no one else around as expected since Oz wouldn't answer the phone and no one else would want to get up this late just to meet Emily as she got back into town. It had been 5 years since anyone had heard from her and then out of nowhere she comes home. Kaylee looked at her watch and sighed, "Waited so long. Few minutes don't mean much in the end." Her words came out in her heavy Texas drawl.


The two of them met in high school, freshman year, Kaylee and Oz were childhood friends and were sitting in the school cafeteria with the other two members of Oz's band 'dingoes ate my baby' after the last bell. They needed a bassist and were holding auditions till late so Kaylee had decided to stay and keep them company and provide moral support. "So when does this thing go down? If it's a while coming I'm going to get me some grub"

Oz was his normal calm self, his voice steady and measured. "Yeah, we said to be here at like four so there's plenty of time."

"Shiny. Be right back." Someone had once had the bright idea of putting the vending machines nowhere near the eating areas and no one ever got round to doing anything about it, it took about ten minutes to get there and back. Once there Kaylee pulled a dollar from her pocket and fed it into the machine, hitting the button for animal crackers. Walking back she pulled at the bag till it suddenly split and dropped its contents on the ground. "Ugh that was my last money and I'm going to goram eat you critters no matter how unclean the floor is." She scrambled on the floor picking them up and stuffing then into the box.

A hand reached out and grabbed the last one before Kaylee could reach it but only just so that her fingers curled round the newcomer's hand. "All this hassle just for a lion cracker, it's not worth it." The two girls looked up at each other's face, the new girl stood out from most residents of Sunnydale with darker skin then most and had the most amazing eyes Kaylee had ever seen, they were deep brown and reflected the light at seemingly random intervals following no rhyme or reason. "Name's Emily Young and you?" She moved her fist, still enclosed in Kaylee's, up and down; effectively shaking hands before both girls retracted their limbs.

"I'm Kaywinnet Lee Frye; yeah my parents were real nice in the naming department. Most people who aint fixin' for some pain call me Kaylee."

"Well I'll be sure to do that then. See you around." And with that the new girl was gone down the hallway.

As Kaylee walked back she ran in to a boy who looked very lost. "Er, hey I'm looking for the auditions for 'Dingoes ate my baby' I'm Xander." She rolled her eyes at the kid in front of her; the flier they had handed out had said bassist and he had a guitar with him. Kaylee knew they had said that since she had built the computer that Oz had typed them on and she and the whole band had checked them over twice, there was no room for error and yet here was a fool with a guitar.

"And that's the look you're going for?" He was dressed in a trying to be cool kind of way; the kind of style that looked very uncool. Kaylee guessed he had spent longer in front of the mirror that morning than she had.

The kid threw up his hands. "Oh what did you expect? A cool looking eye patch?" Did the guy know nothing about what was and wasn't cool?

Kaylee sighed and turned to leave. "I'm headin' there myself, follow along if you want." He did and was the first one there and so auditioned. Badly. This went on for half an hour before a break in the auditions was called. There were still plenty of people waiting outside and it looked like they would be here long after dark.

Oz slumped down next to Kaylee. "Hey animal crackers." He picked up the last remaining cracker and twiddled it between his hands. "Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants."

"Yeah, I see."

"The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!' And you know the monkey's just, 'I mock you with my monkey pants!' And there's a big coup in the zoo."

"The monkey's French?" Kaylee commented on the accent Oz had used.

"All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?"

"No." Kaylee said with a giggle.

Oz looked at his childhood friend carefully for a few moments and saw the sparkle in her eyes. "You seem unusually happy, even for you."

"Yeah I made a new friend."


"Come on Oz pick up, this is important." Kaylee glanced at the computer that still displayed the E-mail. She couldn't sleep and so decided to surf the net for a while but when she had loaded up her E-mail account she had seen something she never thought she would see, an E-mail from WolfGirl91; Emily. The shock had knocked Kaylee off her chair, it had been five years since anyone had heard from Emily and suddenly she gave Kaylee a message.

Oz's number was dialled into the phone before the E-mail was finished loading, it was short but said all it needed to. Hey long time no see. Gonna be coming home, bus gets in bout midnight. Explain it all when I see you tomorrow. Kaylee wasn't going to have that; she was going to have it explained as soon as Emily was in town. The last contact she had got was just a letter with the words I have decided to live in the UK for now. See you around scrawled on it. All that Emily meant to Kaylee, all that she thought she had meant to Emily, and this was all she got.

When Oz still hadn't picked up the phone she hung up and looked at the clock. "Guess he's sleeping then." It was eleven at night after all. "If I hurry I c'n make it, just abouts."

On the way Kaylee kept trying to get mad at Emily for being AWOL for so long but found herself just glad she was home and maybe after all this time she would get to say the three words she had all ways wanted to. So much had got in her way in the past but no it would just be the two of them, no distractions.


Kaylee was pacing at the front of the class. "I can't get her out. My head is full of her and nothing else." She had been ranting at the almost empty room for a full hour and the only other occupant had yet to speak. Oz had sat and patiently listened to Kaylee soap boxing about her feelings, they were confusing to her thanks to a lifetime of social conditioning.

Kaylee took a deep breath and looked to Oz urgently. He offered his advice. "Could be love." This didn't help her expression at all.

"But isn't it wrong? Man and woman and all of that?" Her hands were floundering around as if she was grasping for some kind of rock in the sea of confusion.

"How can love be wrong? How does she make you feel?"

The memory of Emily's smiling face was all Kaylee needed to answer that question; she leaned back against the teachers desk and looked at the ceiling. "Warm, warm right inside myself. I just want to be with her."

"Be with her or be with her?"

Kaylee looked Oz right in the eyes; she had not expected him to come out with that. "You mean to say as in sex?" It was so out of character for him that she had to clarify what he had meant.

"I mean to say." He said with a slight nod.

This question was nowhere near as easy as the last one, what did she want from this? Was it love or was it just curiosity? Did she just want a lesbian experience? No it wasn't that, Kaylee shut her eyes and all she saw was Emily just standing there in front of her. "Well I guess that would be a bonus. Kinda like winning the lottery and the getting to have sex with the money, wait that makes no sense."

"Metaphors aren't your strong point it's true." They both shared a small laugh at Kaylee's sheer lack of skill when it came to this sort of thing.

Then after a moment Kaylee was gripped with panic. She sat down on the chair next to Oz before voicing her fears. "But how do I say it to her? What if she says no? What if she doesn't want to be friends afterwards? What if she thinks I'm a freak?"

"Pointless questions going nowhere fast. Just tell her what you told me."

"Right, Ok, I'm going to go find her now"

"Good luck."

The girl was hardly out of the door when a pair of hands covered her eyes. "Hey Kaylee, guess who."

"E-Emily?"

The hands were replaced by the view of Emily's face twisted in a pout. "Spoil my fun. Oh I came to tell you, that England trip I didn't get to go on, they had a cancelation and now I get to go, it leaves tomorrow." It was all she had been talking about for weeks since it had been announced that a few students would be going on a weeklong trip to London.

"Oh. Well I had somein' to say but..." Anything would sound stupid now and Kaylee couldn't stand to ruin the trip for her.

"What? Come on tell me." Even Emily's pleading face could convince her to spill.

"This weekend I was wondering if you wanted to come round for dinner or something but I guess you can't" the lie was unbelievable really when you thought about it but Emily seamed to swallow it. That night they said good bye for a week and Emily was gone for five years.


Kaylee was almost falling asleep in her morning English class since the auditions had gone on for hours and she didn't get much sleep as a result. The home work was to pick a poem to read out and say why they like it and luckily she could recite hers backwards. "OK Emily how about you recite the poem you picked?" Kaylee's head shot up and around to see the girl that had stood up. Emily had been in the same class all year and she had never noticed it, well it gives them something to talk about to break the ice next time they met.

"I picked "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening", by Robert Frost." Emily read the poem in such a way the Kaylee could clearly see in her mind's eye the image of a knight and his horse stood in the snow covered woods looking down on the quiet village below. "I picked it because it is hauntingly beautiful. Someone that is tired of life but still has stuff to do in the world of the living."

"Thank you Emily, next how about you Kaywinnit?"

She grumbled about the use of her full name but got up anyway. "Fine, my poem is "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll." It was a nonsense poem with half the words being made up. "I picked it cause it means somein' different to each an' everyone that hears it."


"And then she came out with it, and I quote, 'I think she likes someone'." Oz was telling Kaylee about his conversation with Emily. "I personally don't see it."

Before Kaylle could stammer out an expression of shock the girl in question joined the pair walking down the hall. "So Oz told you what I told him yet?" Kaylee just nodded vigorously. "So who is it? Bet it's one of the teachers."

Kaylee looked around for a suitable scapegoat and spotted the biology teacher. "Him, Dr. Tam" He was good enough looking if you were into y chromosomes and had a likeable personality, perfect for the job.

"Good choice, you should confess right now!" And without getting a chance to protest Kaylee suddenly found herself face to face with the handsome doctor.

"Yes? Did you want something Miss Frye?" He was always so polite and Kaylee could see why most of Sunnydale high's straight population had fallen for him.

"Well my friends have got it into their heads that I have a crush on you and I was wondering if you could pretend to let me down easy."

"Why can't you just tell them?" Kaylee glanced back at Emily and then back to Dr. Tam. "Oh I see, well then in that case." He spoke up so that Emily and Oz would be able to hear. "I'm sorry Miss Frye but students and teachers are prohibited from dating so we can't."

Emily at once stomped up to them and slapped the teacher in the face. "Bastard." Before leading Kaylee, who was trying to make her laughter look like she was crying, away. "He was just hiding behind those rules."


Kaylee was bundled up in her blankets, the room in complete darkness. She had been there for several days the tear stained note from Emily lying on the floor next to her bed. She would accept the food and water her mum brought her but would only pick at it. Every so often her mum would try to find out what was upsetting her. "Hey Kay what's wrong?"

"Mum I... I was in love with someone and they left me all alone." Kaylee's voice was croaky from lack of use and she was not ready to tell her mother that she was in love with a girl, she would probably understand since she was very tolerant of that sort of thing but there was always the worry that she would disown her.

Kaylee's mum had always been a romantic at heart and that showed in her advice. "Was or are in love with them? Cause if you still are then have faith that they will come back to you."

"But they..."

"No buts. Do you think that they love you back? Then if you give up on them then isn't that a betrayal of their love?" A very good question that took Kaylee by surprise. She had thought Emily had loved her or at least cared for her deeply but... But nothing this wasn't healthy and if Emily did come back, seeing Kaylee like this would just upset her and that was something Kaylee would avoid with every fibre of her being.

"I guess so, thanks mum" And with that she smiled for the first time in days


The girl's lockers were nearly empty but Kaylee was in no rush. Gym was her last class of the day so she took her time getting changed. She was tying her shoes when someone sat down on the bench in front of her. "Yo Kaylee isn't it? Mind giving me a foot rub?" And before Kaylee could protest she found a set of toes wiggling in her face.

She flushed a light pink and stammered. "F-feet right in m-my face?"

"Oh do you have a problem with feet?" Emily pulled the leg back as Kaylee nodded vigorously although it wasn't a problem in the way Emily thought it was.


It was ten minutes into the new day when the bus headlights cut through the swirling snow and the bus pulled into Sunnydale. It only carried the one passenger by this point but that was all that mattered to Kaylee. Over the years she had decided a million times on how the greet her when she finally came back. But now all she could think of was one thing.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Why did you come back?" This wasn't going how Kaylee had thought it would.

"What? I thought you would be glad."

"No. No you had a chance to get out of this place and find a home and make a life for yourself. You could have been a real person not just a bunch of carbon and oxygen going round and round this small place never making an impact on the world. You could be someone, unlike me."

Before Kaylee could react she found Emily's arms around her. "Find a home? Why would I need to do that? Now I'm home, right here in your arms and I'm never going to leave again." She did return her feelings. Kaylee blinked back her tears and tried to think straight.

"Why did you decide to love me?"

"You never mentioned my scars." Kaylee hadn't even seen them.


the sections in chronological order are 2 5 7 4 6 3 1 8

Yeah Oz, Xander and Sunnydale are from Buffy but the two main characters are Kaylee and Emily so I decided to list this as a firefly/twilight crossover.

Xander's mentioning having an eye patch and the animal crackers dialog reference Buffy (Xander gets an eye patch at one point. Oz and Willow have almost the same conversation) and the "You mean to say as in sex?" "I mean to say." Exchange is straight out of Serenity.

Kawinnet Lee Frye is indeed Kaylee's full name

The bulk of the story takes place 5 years before my other story 'we are nothing if not human' but the reunion scenes are set just afterward. Oh and Emily got her scars in the five years she was gone.

This was going to feature Leah and Seth but I changed the plot and there was no place for them.

My arc words are in this by proxy since they appear in the poem stopping by woods on a snowy evening.

Coming soon is and Avatar/Dollhouse crossover that is set in the same universe, see my profile for more details.

Edit: added a scene (6) that goes between 4 and 7 chronologicly.