Well, here I am.... Again...
This time, our victim is dear Sam Merlotte. He is less likely to kill you, but don't expect him to ever talk to you again.
Godricdammit. He is alive and well, trapped in my basement, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
20 Ways To Annoy Sam Merlotte.
(You should be well aware he could turn into a bull and rip your heart out your chest.)
1) Whenever you need him, yell "HERE LASSIE!"
2) When he's trying to talk, say over and over, "What is it Lassie? Is Timmy in the well, Lassie?!?!"
3) Convince everyone that getting him a taxidermy-ed animal for Christmas is a good idea.
4) Buy him dog biscuits as a 'thank you' gift.
5) When waiting tables, inform everyone that sleeping with Sam is the only way you can get a raise.
6) Get him a little glass figurine of a doe, and affectionately call it Daphene.
7) Ask him if watching Bambi makes him cry.
8) Call the stray dog outside the bar 'Son of Sam.'
9) Tell him you are his biological twin... And that Lafayette is his father.
10) Inquire if his fleas have gotten better, then buy him a flea collar for his birthday. Make sure you seem to have the best intentions in the world.
11) Ask him to shape-shift into a celebrity of your choice.
12) Proclaim his powers utterly-useless when he is unable to.
13) Hold a V.A. (Vampires Anonymous) meeting in the bar, then tell him it's going to be your monthly meeting place.
14) Ask him how his relationship with Tara is going.
15) Make him join a boy-band.
16) Buy him a Jonas Brothers C.D., hand it to him in public, and make sure to mention that they're his favorite.
17) Make fun of him when he is delighted with the above C.D.
18) Demand that the men of the bar also wear the white-shirt/black short-shorts uniform.
19) Whenever he makes a request of you, yell 'Sexual Harassment!' and tell that whatever he wants from you he could get without making you a sexual object.
20) Ask if dead-woman-from-the-freezer is on the menu.
Bonus:
Buy him a shock collar and insist he wear it at special occasions. Feel free to abuse at will.
Additional Instructions:
Prepare to be fired.
YES! (Dances in a circle) I did it! In one day! Can a get a CHOCOLATE BAR!?!? ... No? ... Dammit.
Next is Jason and Stan. Any other requests?
GODRIC LIVES! He's going to those V.A. meetings I mentioned. XD The motto? Let Go And Let Godric! Gah! I crack myself up!