Also, I do no own or claim to own any of the characters in the Shadow Hearts series and am making no profits off of the posting of this story. I do suggest you at the very least play Shadow Hearts Covenant if you haven't played any of the Shadow Hearts games. I'm totally in love with the second game in the series. BTW, this fic is spoiler city!
Chapter One
When you let me go at the end of time I was a little surprized even though I shouldn't have been. What could I have said? Really? When you stood there as I prayed for my perfect world the pieces did come together. It made more sense than you know. I realized that you were truely afraid of the Mistletoe's curse or you missed Alice too much to come with me. Either way I still haven't figured out what the perfect world would be for you. I will probably never know that but what I do know is when you stood there and let me go you took away everything. In that one moment, you know the one where you thanked me and let go, you took away the only thing that was left in this world that mattered to me. In case you missed it... That was you. So I nodded and went on like I understood and could handle it, just like I always do. Unfortunately my perfect world is missing the only person left that really matters to me. I can't deal with it either...
I really have tried to find a reason to go on. Something to make this life worth living. When we were together I always tried to smile and point out the good things in life. We were all faced with so many terrible realities... I tried my hardest to make it easier for all of us to bear but now those good things I spoke of are gone. You kept them with you. I only wish you were here. I really think we could have had the perfect little life we always wanted. I know we could have made it all worth while... Don't you think we could have made this something good? I do. If it's something I did, I'll do whatever I can to make it right. Is it something I didn't do? I'll do it... Or I'll at least try.
Can we start over please? Let's start over Yuri. If not now, maybe in some other life. I promise I'll try to do it right. I will. I can't believe it's over... No, it can't be. It's not. The truth is you kept a piece of me with you and other is dead and buried. So it will never be over...
I found myself here by following you. The same thing you did after losing Alice is what I've done now in my search for you ro happiness or whatever might pass the time. You let a part of you die with her and now I've let part of myself do the same with you. Loving you will be the death of me but you knew that when you let me go, didn't you? The truth is you are the only one I've ever loved and probably the only one I ever will love.
The truth is my heart can't take anymore and neither can the rest of me. It's been almost a year and nothing here is even tolerable. This place is everything I ever wanted the world to be but without you, it's not worth it. I can't wait any longer. This is just a waste of time and life energy. I've tried to be strong for you. I let you go on without knowing how I felt so you wouldn't have to feel guilt over any decision you made. I held on even after you tried to bring her back. I did it all for you. I finally told how you how I felt because I couldn't hold that back but I held on to you because my time with you meant everything, it still does. I won't give up on us. My love, our journey, the perfect world... Everthing was misunderstood but I promise I'll try to do it right this time.
Dead and in the ground... She is. Along with your heart and mine. It's not over. You don't have to forget her but please just let me in. You've been caught up in yourself and the past for way too long.
Killing me... It's not... Is it over?
Never before had the words of any song struck her so deeply but her thoughts poured out with the lyrics as did her tears. Nothing had made her stay in her "perfect world" remotely bearable. In fact, it was made worse by the fact it was so perfect. Sure it had it's flaws but compared to the world she'd left of war, demons, gods possessing humans, and religious fanatics the problems of this world seemed petty. She sobbed into her hands as the darkness of night spread over the land. All her thoughts were of him and she couldn't make them go away no matter how hard she tried. They were there to stay. Even if she did manage to cry herself to sleep that night she knew she'd dream of him once again. All too often she was left with the question of whether or not it was worth it.
"Does it get better or am I left with your fate Yuri?" She asked the question aloud though there was no one to hear it. She'd found herself doing that more and more. With no real friends she spoke to the ones that were no longer by her side. Most of the time she guessed their answers. This time she hoped that her question might reach through time, space, and whatever else separated them for an answer. She sighed heavily realizing her answer may never come from him, instead it would probably come from the cruel beasts of fate and time.
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