Author Note: Hello everyone! This is CrazyAce with her trusty sidekick, PokerFace, adding to the wonderfulness that is HitsuKarin fanfiction. This story is set six or so years in the future, after Aizen's been defeated and when Karin is 17. We do hope you give this story a chance, and join us for the ride through our insane imaginations. Thanks for reading!

Normal = prose, italics = thoughts or inner conversations

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. They belong solely to Tite Kubo. However, if there was an alternate universe where I do own Bleach, I will promptly give my left arm to switch with my other self. I also do not own any of the chapter titles. Cookies for anyone who guesses which poems they're from.

Chapter 1: Do I Wake or Sleep?

i.

She dreamed of midnight snow and icy darkness, of deadened silence and endless night. She knew she dreamed, and yet the dreams seemed more real than waking life, like right now as she felt the beating of her heart, the shudder of every breath, vibrantly aware, aware, aware. Of what she wasn't sure, but she closed her eyes for a moment, then kept on walking.

She walked the halls of a castle made of silver and ice and black marble, and knew from previous travels through this strange dream-world (or was it a nightmare realm?) that it was vast and grand and impenetrable. And inescapable, too, she supposed, but then she'd never tried to actually leave, so she couldn't be certain. Telling herself to wake up didn't count in her opinion because it never worked anyway, and a wry smile twisted her mouth at this thought. Maybe she was a prisoner of this dark and mysterious place, like some captive princess languishing away in a fairy tale.

She frowned as this occurred to her, then shrugged and decided that couldn't be it, because she'd always dreamt of being the dragon-riding knight rather than the helpless heroine. She was positive her subconscious would respect that and leave her some dignity. But then again, if her mind would behave and listen to her, she wouldn't be here in the first place, and she certainly wouldn't be wearing a flimsy black nightgown. Looking down at herself, she frowned yet again. At least no one else would see her. She was alone here, the only living presence in this castle. She didn't know how she knew this, as the castle was far from fully explored, but if she had to explain why she knew she'd blame a sense of emptiness, like a darkness broken only by the light of her flickering life.

Catching her reflection in a mirror down the hall, she walked forward, her hand outstretched until it reached cold glass. She surveyed her reflection, tracing over barely shoulder-length black hair, finely arched brows, and a generously full mouth, which she abruptly thinned into a scowl. Her pale skin glowed in the moonlight streaming through the windows, and her eyes were thrown into sharp contrast, a smoky gray the shade of stormy thunderclouds.

She looked like a girly-girl, she thought in disgust. She was glad Yuzu wasn't present in this dream, or worse, her idiotic Goat-chin of a father. They'd be ecstatic at her feminine appearance, so far removed from her usual ragged t-shirts, scruffy shorts, and unmade-up face. Well, at least they accepted her the way she was, and never pushed her to be any different, unless there was some formal function or other such event. She wondered if this dream would count as one. Shrugging, she decided not to worry about it.

She went on her way, climbing up a flight of elegant, winding stairs until she found herself on a balcony that faced westwards over an icy plain devoid of wind, surrounded by a ring of imposing mountains. Standing there, she thought back again to the image of a fair princess locked up in a tower, and once more rejected it. When she walked the castle, it didn't feel threatening or lonely, but welcoming and accepting instead. She was the master, the one in control, a battle-proven queen rather than a princess. She smirked at that image, and idly wondered when her dragon would appear. It always did, after all.

Ah, there. She could hear it now, a distant whispering that drew closer and grew louder, until the sound resembled the howling winds of a storm, the thundering roar of lightning breaking open the sky. Here and now, suddenly, startlingly, the world was filled to bursting, the empty void filled with an immense, uncontainable presence. She stood there and threw her arms open wide, face raised in defiance to this force of nature.

"I AM KARIN!" she screamed. "I am not afraid of you!"

And she looked directly into the eyes of a dragon made of clouds and air, its scales the soft, muted black of twilight, its winding body moving with sinuous grace, its cold breath hissing out, its teeth bared in a fierce grin. It was coming closer, closer, closer, until it faced her directly and—

She woke up.

She was staring up at a plain white ceiling, lying on a narrow twin bed with black sheets pooled at her feet, kicked there haphazardly some point during yet another restless night. Sitting up, she wiped a hand over her face and sighed, then reached over and smacked the "off" button of her alarm clock before it could go off and make her even more annoyed than she felt now (Karin never depended on the alarm to wake her up, but rather the threat of it interrupting her sleep, so she always woke up before the set time).

Grumbling, she got up and started her morning ritual, the same at age seventeen as it was when she was ten, going over to the bathroom and brushing her teeth, then yanking a comb carelessly through her hair before covering it with her signature baseball cap. She picked out a suitably boyish outfit from her surprisingly neat closet (it came from years of living with Yuzu), threw it on, grabbed her backpack, and instinctively looked to the right side of the room, a habit that remained from when she and Yuzu still shared living quarters, before she'd moved into Ichigo's old bedroom. Seeing only posters of soccer teams, rock bands, and diagrams of human hearts, she went and kicked open the door and walked out, holding out a fist to deflect the oncoming affection-attack from Goat-chin.

"Karin-chaaaan! My lovely—oof!" went her father before collapsing into a pile at the other end of the hallway. Idiot father, what is he doing over there? I didn't hit him that hard, she thought, shaking her head.

Pausing for a moment to survey her handiwork, she shrugged and went on her way, stopping by the kitchen to grab a plate of breakfast from Yuzu. Her gentle, beautiful twin, who'd probably been up since dawn doing chores, gave her a happy smile and wished her a cheerful good morning. Karin smiled half-heartedly in return and picked through her breakfast, not really hungry but not wanting to make her sister worry either.

The morning was reasonably quiet, like any other in their household now that Ichi-nii was attending college in Tokyo and Goat-chin was thoughtfully refraining from abusing his daughters in his son's stead, channeling his pent-up energy into gardening as a substitute, if that was what you could call the grotesque tree-sculptures in their back yard. Leaning up against the kitchen counter, she watched as Yuzu started to clean up, and after a moment she pushed her plate to the side and took the dirty pans out of her sister's hands, ignoring the protests that inevitably came, warding them off by saying that it was only fair that she do the washing of dishes, and besides, she liked doing it (both of which were true).

Yuzu gave in and went to sit at the table, and chatted away about how Miyazaku-chan and Andou-kun had finally started going out, how she wanted to go shopping at that new clothing boutique this weekend, and how she hoped Jinta-kun liked the sweater she knitted him for his birthday. Karin nodded and made short, teasing remarks at the appropriate places. She laughed at Yuzu's last topic, and said simply, "To that idiot, an ounce of dirt from you would be worth as much as a mountain of gold." Yuzu blushed and laughed, but Karin noticed how her eyes had softened and grown dreamy, no doubt thinking about her red-headed boyfriend. In the lull of comfortable silence that followed, Karin finished up the dishes and wiped her hands on a towel, stopping to stare out the window at the sight of the sleepy small town of Karakura coming to life.

At no point during any of this did she think of black castles or cloud dragons. Nope, not at all. She certainly didn't wonder why on earth she had kept dreaming the same dream again and again and again, until she thought she'd go crazy from frustration. She didn't wonder what would happen if her dreams actually progressed any further, because she didn't want them to at all; she just wanted them to stop, like any other normal person would. She wasn't the least bit curious about what would happen next. No, she had her feet firmly on the ground, with her future planned out and her goals set. She was not distracted by freaky, mysterious dreams. She wasn't. Not. At. All. And that was final.

"Umm, Karin-chan?" Yuzu asked, tentatively.

"Yeah, Yuzu? Something up?" Karin asked, distractedly.

"Nothing. It's just…you were muttering again. About a castle? And a dragon? And I was wondering…are you having trouble with your dreams again?" Yuzu said in a worried tone.

"No, Yuzu, it's nothing big. Don't worry about it, I'm sure it's just a phase," Karin answered. She'd told Yuzu about the dreams two months ago, when they'd first begun. She'd given her a vague description, as they hadn't yet become incredibly vivid, so Yuzu knew the general gist of it. Empty castle, lots of moonlight, a feeling of expectation. No mentions of a dragon until about a month ago, when it—no, she, Karin was sure the dragon was female—finally made her appearance.

But soon afterwards, Karin stopped sharing her dreams with Yuzu, partly because she hoped they'd go away if she didn't talk about them, and partly because there was something private about them. Something that made her think she couldn't share it with anyone, not even her twin. It wasn't the first time she'd ever kept a secret from Yuzu, but it still made her slightly uncomfortable and guilty, so she avoided her sister's gaze.

"All right, Karin. If you say so," Yuzu said, disbelievingly.

Uh-oh. That wasn't good. At this rate, Yuzu would say something to Goat-chin, who'd probably drag her to some weird psychiatrist friend of his who'd try and hypnotize her and get her to probe deeply into her subconscious to connect with the inner "feminine mystique," which would, of course, urge her to get married straight out of college and promptly start providing her father with beloved grandchildren. Or maybe he'd try to fix the problem himself with the "power of fatherly love" and "Kurosaki filial devotion" or some other such nonsense. Karin shuddered at the thought. Either way, she had to distract Yuzu from her own problems and get her sister to focus on something else.

"Hey, Yuzu, why don't I drive us to that clothing store you were talking about after school today, instead of on the weekend? There'll probably less people, so you can take your time and browse a little longer," Karin oh-so-very-casually suggested.

Yuzu's face instantly brightened, and she happily agreed, all thoughts of Karin's dilemma forgotten. Karin breathed an inner sigh of relief, squashing the faint sense of guilt at manipulating her sister so underhandedly, and pushing back the dread at the thought of more than five seconds in a place that could only be described as "girly."

It's for the greater good, she told herself, the greater good. Hopefully I get the boys to see it that way when I drag them along with me. There is NO way I'm letting them enjoy a perfectly sunny day playing soccer without me. I suffer, they suffer.

With that cheerful thought, she followed Yuzu out the door to the car, and drove them both to another ordinary day as high school seniors.

ii.

Hitsugaya Toushirou, Taichou of the Tenth Division, glared menacingly at the pile of paperwork in front of him, and then raised a brow at his once-again hung-over fukutaichou.

"I'm going to assume you have a decent excuse for why our division's budget receipts are covered in what appear to be Yachiru's…unique…artwork?"

"Taichoooouuu!" wailed Matsumoto. "It's not my fault! I swear! It's Yumichika-kun's and Ikkaku-san's! They're the ones who brought her along! I was trying to do my work, just like you told me to, when they barged in and invited me out for a night of drinking with Kira-kun, Abarai-kun, and Iba-san. How could I have refused them?"

"By saying 'no.' It's not that difficult to do. And why on earth did they let Yachiru have access to alcohol? Never mind, don't answer that question. This is Kenpachi's adopted daughter we're talking about. But I still don't understand why you brought the paperwork with you to the bar. It's a miracle that all of you didn't have the brilliant idea to start a bonfire with them, or something to that effect," Hitsugaya grumbled in an aggrieved, long-suffering tone.

A guilty silence met his statement.

"No…you didn't! Matsumoto, tell me you did not set fire to our paperwork! We need it!" Hitsugaya yelled, sorting through the pile in front of him and belatedly noticing it was half the size of the one he left on Matsumoto's desk the day before. With a groan, he leaned back against his seat, hands covering his face in a rare show of exasperation.

"I give up. I swear, this time, I am really giving up on you, Matsumoto. I do not have the time or inclination to deal with this anymore," he groaned.

Slightly concerned at her captain's characteristic response but uncharacteristic mood, Matsumoto leaned forward. "Is something wrong, Taichou? You seem a little off today."

Blearily looking over at her with shadows under his normally clear turquoise eyes, Hitsugaya sighed and simply stated, "Nothing more than usual. You can get back to work now. And no more saké until all of your paperwork is finished."

Ignoring his lieutenant's cry of dismay, he turned his attention back to the daily reports that made up such a large portion of his work as a Taichou. Soon, he was completely engrossed in the details and routine of the day, never noticing the worried looks Matsumoto continued to shoot him from across the room.

Hours later, as the sun began to set and darkness began to creep in, he reminded himself to light a lamp and decided to stretch a little before he did so, shrugging his shoulders and working the kinks out of his neck. Sighing quietly, he turned back to the page in front of him, noting a little groggily how the words seemed to float off the page. Assessing how much work he had left, he figured that he had enough time to take a quick break. After all, it wouldn't do if he made a careless mistake just because he was too tired to concentrate. So laying his head on his folded arms, he closed his eyes, thinking, Just fifteen minutes and—

—He woke at the edge of an ice-covered plain, carrying nothing but his unsheathed sword, and dressed in a shikahusho as black as obsidian. His unruly white hair matched the color of the arctic frost around him, and he turned his sea-green eyes upwards. Above him stretched an expanse of clear, pure blue that went on and on forever, unbroken by clouds or heavenly bodies. There was no sun in this world, nor stars nor moon nor anything else beyond the ground, the mountains, and the penetrating cold. Always, there was the cold: a freezing chill which reached out with tender hands and turned everything to ice, even the air itself. He breathed it in and closed his eyes, feeling its familiar power.

He was home.

Here in this forbidding place of endless white and winter brightness, he was home. Here in this world of unchanging ice and desperate extremes, he was home. Here, here, here, he belonged, the chaotic calm in his war-filled existence.

Sometimes, he wondered what it said about him, that his inner world was so inhospitable, so difficult to survive; but mostly he shrugged it off, knowing instinctively that it was a self-imposed test, a test to determine how strong he truly was. And he took a fierce pride in knowing also that he was strong enough to not just survive, but thrive here, here in the place that would have killed off all but the most powerful of warriors. He smiled bitterly, speculating if his old neighbors had sensed this empty wasteland inside him. He knew they'd sensed something, something that had scared them off, but he doubted they could have realized the depth of his abilities. He'd yet to fully explore this world himself, and he lived here.

Standing still for a moment, he gazed across the icy plain, getting ready for yet another journey. Eternity stretched behind him, and infinity called to him ahead. So he placed his sword across his back (a habit he'd kept even though he'd grown tall enough now to wear it at his side) and began walking forward. Ever forward, always moving, senses vibrantly aware, waiting, waiting, waiting for…

Ah, there he was. Hyourinmaru. Hitsugaya smiled once more, this time only with joy, and began running forward. Faster, faster, faster, until it seemed that the wind itself was pushing him forward, that the ice was lending swiftness to his feet, and he met his dragon head on, almost laughing in exhilaration at reuniting with his one companion in this frozen wilderness.

But Hyourinmaru would not speak to him, instead staring intently at something far to the east. And Hitsugaya, face set in his usual scowl, turned to see what had so enraptured his zanpakutou.

And saw a castle jutting defiantly from the face of the edge-most mountain. A castle made of night-black stone and shining silver, surrounded by dark winds and storm clouds. It was shadowy, forbidding, and at once both foreign and frighteningly…familiar. It looked like it belonged there, sitting at the end of his inner world. And something about it called to him, beckoned temptingly, whispered of secrets and sorcery and silence. It was mystery incarnate, and for the first time in his life, Hitsugaya Toushirou had a definite end to his journey, an end to his world. And he wasn't sure he wanted to find out what was there.

He turned to Hyourinmaru to ask once more why that thing was there, but before he could open his mouth, a terrifying roar split the heavens open, sent his world spinning into broken chaos, summoned storms and lightning and thunder strong enough to tear his soul to pieces. Yet somehow in the midst of this maelstrom, he could nearly make out a voice, saying—

And once more he awoke.

Hitsugaya bolted upright, catapulted straight out of his dream world and back into reality. He looked around at his now dark and empty office, and scowled in frustration. This…hallucination had been haunting him for nearly two months now, depriving him of sleep and constantly consuming his thoughts. He was tired of it, tired of these pointless visions. Letting his breath out in a disgruntled his, he looked up at the ceiling, wondering if tonight he would dream again of a dark castle at the edge of his icy plain, a strange addition to his inner world.

Perhaps you will, Hyourinmaru whispered. Perhaps she will visit once more.

Startled, Hitsugaya asked, Who will visit?

You know of whom I speak, his zanpakutou replied enigmatically.

No, I don't. If you would just explain why I keep having these dreams, maybe I'd understand better, Hitsugaya angrily replied.

But this time, only silence met his words.

Exasperated, Hitsugaya returned to his work, grumbling under his breath about cryptic answers and useless dragons. And never did he acknowledge the thought that lingered in the back of his mind.

Will I dream again tonight?

Endnote: Once again, thank you for reading, and please review if you can. :)