Hello there everyone! If you read the original, thank you a million times over! But after my computer died for numerous months, I lost all my documents. But my rewrites are better anyway so yeah. Well, I apologize if anyone is out of character. Also please please please review, or how will I know I have a reader?

Oh yeah, warnings: cursing, "dirty" words, masturbation, fantasizing, being descriptive, and of course the best warning ever, YAOI! (If you don't like it the leave. No one is forcing you to stay)

Enjoy, my lovelies.

Kyouya Ootori's Point Of View

You saw past every shield, every wall, and every mask of composure I wore even in while I slept, dreaming about you, and straight into a place even I was not well acquainted with: my soul. And I did the same to you. It seemed like in those split seconds when our eyes would catch, nothing else around us was real. But I wasn't quite sure if I like what was going on. We were so different. And maybe that was the reason I loved you. Or maybe that was the reason I couldn't stand to look at you.

You pulled your gaze from mine, because I did not have enough strength to do so myself, and turned back to Hikaru to perform your "brotherly love" act. I couldn't even stand to watch; I always got knots in my stomach. I turned my back to you. I knew it was wrong, those feelings I had for him. But I could deny them. I opened my notebook and pretended to be busy,

"Kyouya? Kyouya, you look kinda spacey…You alright?" I heard Tamaki's voice moving closer to me.

I turned around, smiling at him, "Perfectly fine," I looked back down at my notebook and pushed my glasses higher up on my nose, "Now you best get back to your guest. You are the king, aren't you?"

"I am!" the blonde turned away from my and started back to his customers, where he too would put on a fake face.

"Fake," I thought closing my notebook, "Just like everyone else here."

I stole a quick glance at Hikaru and Kaoru. Their noses were brushing, the older of the two cradling the others face in his hands while the other forced a blush to appear on his cheeks. All fake. But even knowing this, it never failed to trigger feelings nausea and disgust in the very pit of my stomach. I hated even seeing them while we had guest: draped all over each other, whispering words of nonsense and lies of things that never happened. After club, if they kept their distance from each other, it was fine. But watching another man touch Kaoru, it was just plain unacceptable. I told myself to give it up. That he wasn't worth anything. And most days I would remind myself of how stupid I was. Stupid for being gay. Stupid for loving Kaoru. Stupid for thinking I ever had a chance. Generally I was much too smart to act purely on emotions or to blindly put all my faith in a single person. But he was just so special. He held my heart without the slightest clue.

I looked over at Haruhi, the natural type, who was probably telling her customers another story about her mother. A story they'd probably all heard a million times. Honey-senpai was stuffing his face with cake while Mori-senpai took the time between the childish teen's bites to wipe his mouth. Tamaki was playing his prince character as always. Everything was completely normal at the host club. This meant that I too had to be normal.

I plastered a fake smile on my face, held back the vomit, and approached the twins, magazines in my hand.

"And now you, young ladies, can witness all the beautiful forbidden moments that place after visiting hours for only…"

I detested having to do this with every fiber of my body. It was all so fake; we were all so fake. It was nothing but a lie put on for the pleasure of others. It was all just a sick twisted game that so many had fallen for.

By the end of the day, I was thanking everything that was holy that the school day was almost over. Tamaki relaxed back into an armchair as the last guest exited.

"This day was so uneventful," the blonde complained.

"I agree," Hikaru draped one arm across Kaoru's shoulders.

I ducked my head, hiding my hatred and pushing my glasses further up on my nose, "I'll be the first to take my leave today," I grabbed my bag and stormed out of the room, everyone to afraid to ask why. (a/n: this is where it starts to change)

I couldn't even begin to sleep that night. My eyelids were heavy I was laying in my bed, my limbs tired, my brain wanting to shut down, but I couldn't. Because the only thing I wanted more than sleep at that moment was Kaoru. I bit down on my bottom lip as I reached down, grasping my already semi-erect member.

"Oh fuck…Kaoru…" I whispered as I began to stroke myself to thoughts of him.

I was sick. I was a sick disgusting pervert. Why the hell couldn't I just give up? I was a horrendous person, I thought.

I rolled onto my side and brought my knees closer to my chest as my pace quickened. I dug my other hand through my hair and called out his name again. I knew I wasn't going to last long.

"Kyouya~" I could practically hear the soft whimper of the red-head's voice in my ears.

In my mind, he was nude, wet, and reaching down to touch his beautiful throbbing cock I studied every inch of his perfect body. He then reached down further, beginning to stroke himself.

"This you're fault Kyouya-senpai~"

He dropped to the ground, chest and face resting there, but ass still sticking up. While pleasuring himself with one hand, he reached around to his ass and spread his cheeks apart, revealing his entrance.

"Put it in me Kyouya~" he moaned, "I can't wait!"

That image as enough to make me cum into my own hand.

"I am repulsive," was the only thing that ran through my mind.

I wiped my hand on the sheet and prayed that maybe I could get some sleep.

Well? What do you all think? And are you going to kill me for leaving it like that?

~fall4themusic