Disclaimer: I do not own TDI/TDA/TDWT/TDR. It belongs to Teletoon, as does all of the characters.
Warning: Contains gross content, involving Chef and his bathroom troubles.
Dedicated to: Kobold Necromancer and Frank 15- My two favorite TD authors, who probably won't read this, but I still want to give them a shout-out.
The Reunion
It has been over a month since Total Drama World Tour has ended and everyone is excited to finally be done with Chris's torture, but what they didn't know was that Chris made copies of their contracts before they fell out of the plane into the ocean.
It all happened at the finale. Heather and Cody were doing their best to walk the tightrope over the volcano, each holding onto a case, which may or may not contain the million dollars. Heather crossed the volcano first and wrenched open her case to discover that her case contained the million dollars. Cody thought that his was empty, so he through it into the volcano.
"Dangit!" he screamed. What he didn't know was that Chris had decided to put ten million into one case and only one million in another. When Cody heard the news he freaked! He tried to throw Chris into the volcano, but Chef stopped him. From then on everyone knew that Heather had won, yes, the evil villain had won a season.
Now Chris has them back for a new season. The original twenty-two contestants will again face each other to win five million, while Sierra and Alejandro host the aftermath.
Chris stood on the docks, once again, for another season of Total Drama. Total Drama Return!
"Welcome, viewers, to Total! Drama! Return! This season the original twenty-two campers will once again face off, love, lose, and one lucky person, will win!"
There was a loud noise, like a foghorn, and a boat pulled up to the dock.
"If you think I'm going to be here for another freaking season, you're way off!" screamed Eva.
"Ah, Eva, our most popular fan favorite."
"Don't pull that because I know that you're just saying that so I won't kill you, and right now, your chances are real low of you living!"
Chris grinned. "It's funny you should say that! Chef, come over here! And bring the tranquilizer gun!"
Chef ran over, carrying what looked like and handgun and fired at Eva. She immediately fell to the ground, a crumpled mess.
Chris, making sure she was knocked out, poked her with a stick. "Well, that should do it. Here's our next contestant, everyone!"
Another boat pulled up, this time carrying everyone's favorite guy, Ezekiel. "Yo, yo! What up, my homie?"
"Nothin, playa! What 'bout you?"
"What, eh?"
"You really are stupid, aren't you?"
"Nope, eh, just misunderstood."
Chris just stood there and sighed. "You're a lost cause, unlike my hair. Let's here from our next contestant then, before we lose all our viewers because of you!"
Up came the next boat, this time sporting, well, the sporto himself. Tyler, still in his trademarked red jumpsuit tried to do a somersault off the boat, but realized at the last second Lindsay wasn't there, stopped mid-jump, and slammed face-first into the wooden dock.
"Ow," he moaned. He got back up, fell down again, and got back up. "I still can't believe I'm here for another season! I'm so psyched! Woohoo!"
Chris stared at him in disbelief. "Let's see how far you make."
"Oh, I know how far I'm going! I'm going all the way!" He tries to get into a heroic pose, but falls. "Ouch."
"EEEEEEEIIIIIII!"
"And there goes my ear drums," Chris groaned.
"Like, oh my God, I can't believe we're in another season!" Sade screeched to her BFFFL.
"I like, so can't believe it either!" her BFFFL replied.
"And I so can't believe that your parents can tolerate you," Noah snapped as he walked onto the island.
"Oh, they don't!" squeaked Katie.
"Yeah! They both us both apartments and told us we were ready for the world!"1
"How so very happy for you."
"Why thank you!" replied Katie, not seeing his sarcasm. "You're like so nice!"
"Oh life, why do you hate me so?"
"Because you're annoying as Chris," a certain raven-haired villainess shot at him as she walked off her boat. "Probably even more annoying."
"Hey!" Katie shouted. "I thought you were getting nicer over the season, but ever since you won, you've been acted all mean!"
"Please, that was just an act! And it worked!"
By now, these two girls' faces were inches away from each other, staring the other down.
"It did not work. The only person who fell for it was Sierra, and that didn't last long!"
"I'm sure about that! Considering she helped me get to the end!"
"She didn't help you! Nobody helped you because no one likes you!"
"Your just mad because of what I did to Sadie!" For all those readers out there, after Heather had won, Sadie ran up to congratulate her, but Heather didn't see it as a nice gesture. She pushed her away and Sadie almost fell into the volcano. Luckily, DJ was there to catch her, and two then had an everlasting friendship.
"Of course I am! You could've killed her!"
"And what a shame that would have been!" By this time, both Katie and Heather were slapping each, but failing to hit.
"Stop it, now!" Sadie screamed as she stepped in between the two, pushing them apart.
"Why should I listen to you?" Heather spat.
"Because either you stop it or I'll get Eva on your case!"
Heather glared at her. "You couldn't."
"Oh, but I can. You see, over the course of the two seasons me and Eva weren't in, we both grew very close. Now, she's my friend. And will help me!"
Noah shook his head. "And I always thought you were the weird, happy type."
"Oh, I am happy, but I've been taking lessons from Eva. And I'm also mad because Heather almost killed me. But other than that, I'm fine!"
For a while, everyone just stared at the camera, but then a hand off-camera motioned to move towards it. "Now that that's over, let's get back to the other contestants! Just arrived on the dock, here right now, is Beth!"
"Hey, guys! I can't believe I get another chance at winning! Although, it sucks to be here without my boyfriend, Brady."
"Oh, give it a rest!" Heather shot at her. "We all know he's fake."
"He's not fake! You saw him!"
"The only person I saw was your cousin!"
"What!" Beth gasped. She stared at her, tears storming from her eyes. "Nobody was supposed to know that!"
"Well guess what? I know it! And you just admitted I was right!"
"But-I!"
"Save it!"
Noah looked up from his book and grinned. "You know, it's legal to marry your cousin in some countries."
Beth looked appalled. "I would never… Ever dream of marrying my cousin."
"Don't worry about, it Beth. They don't know a beautiful girl you are," Justin said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "They're just jealous."
"Why, thank you, Justin!" Beth said, seductively.
Justin looked away awkwardly, avoiding her gaze. "I think I'm going to go talk to Tyler."
"Okay!" Beth said, oblivious to the fact Justin was freaked out.
"Next up is Trent! The guy who loved, lost, and played music through it all. So Trent, how are things between you and Gwen?" Chris announced.
Trent had obviously hesitated, but he still answered. "Well, uh, I guess you could still call us friends?"
"So even though she was all over Duncan, you still forgive her?"
"I'd rather not talk about this."
"And I rather would, so answer or you're out of here!"
"To be honest, I was jealous and mad, but don't tell Gwen that!"
"Don't have to," snickered Chris.
Trent turned around and saw Gwen standing on the dock, holding hands with Duncan.
"Stay away from her," Duncan growled.
"Trent, I-"
"I gotta go! Bye!" With those words, Trent sped off in the opposite direction to have a somewhat, very, long conversation with Ezekiel.
"I can't believe that dork thinks he still has a shot with you."
"I happen to be friends with that 'dork'." Gwen said as she put air quotes around dork.
"Well than dump him as a friend." Duncan looked around the dock, looking for something that must have been important. At last, he smiled. "And speaking of dorks."
Harold had just walked onto the dock, and immediately was given a wedgie by Duncan. "What a dweeb!" he scoffed.
"Duncan, listen! I don't know why Courtney allowed you to do these things, but some of these people are my friends!"
"God, fine. I was only trying to have fun."
"Well then try and behave and you may get something later on!"
Duncan flashed his signature eyebrow wiggle and grin and was about to kiss Gwen, when onto the dock stomped, the evil CIT, Courtney.
"DUNCAN!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "YOU BETTER HOPE I DON'T KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME! I WILL SUE YOU, AND YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FIGHT BACK! YOU WILL PAY!"
"Chill, Courtney. I'm with Gwen now."
"YOU ARE NOT WITH GWEN! I AM YOUR PRINCESS AND YOU MUST ACCEPT THAT!"
"Courtney, I do not if you understood or not, but we broke up."
"WE DID NOT BREAK UP! YOU CHEATED ON ME!"
"It's called exploring all options."
"WELL I'M AN OPTION AREN'T I? APPEARENTLY NOT!"
"Courtney, relax!"
"I WILL NOT RELAX! I WILL HAVE VENGEANCE! I WILL BE VICTORIOUS!"
"Chef, we're gonna need another dart!"
Chef walked onto the dock, once again, and grumbled, "I don't get paid enough for this." He shot Courtney with the tranquilizer gun and she fell onto the dock, her arm dangling over the edge.
"Now that that's taken care of, let's say hello to Cody!"
Cody walked on the dock, with a hint of hysteria in his eyes. It was most likely there because of his recent loss on Total Drama World Tour. He flashed his famous gap-toothed grin at Gwen and said, "Hey babe, how's it going over there?"
"Cody, you have to remember I'm dating Duncan now."
"I know, but that still doesn't mean we can't be friends."
"Well then think again," said a chilling voice from behind Cody. He turned around and became face to face with Duncan. "I'm dating her now, and I decide who's here friend, and who's not. You're a dweeb anyway, so I don't even have to make the decision for her."
"Gwen?" Cody asked with a puppy-dog face.
"I-I'm sorry, Cody."
Cody walked away, head down, hurt beyond belief. "I understand."
Chris grinned to the camera. "And next up we have-!" But his next words were not spoken because before he could finish his sentence a green blur jumped on his back and the jumped off, finally revealing itself.
"Izzy!" screamed Izzy, continuing Chris's sentence. "Izzy is here and happy to be so! Especially since she is here with her friend, Zekey!"
As she ranted on she jumped onto Ezekiel's back and started patting him on the head. "Good, Zekey," she cooed. "Good Zekey."
"Uh, Izzy. I'm no expert or anything, but that looks wrong, eh."
"Oh, Zekey. That's what they all say. That's what they all say."
Ezekiel stared at her, freaked out and speechless, but still a little happy that Izzy forgave him after everything. "I'm just glad you forgave me."
"Oh Zeke, no one would ever forgive you for what you said. Your just a great for cuddling." Izzy began nuzzling her head into his toque, much to Ezekiel's fear.
"What in the name of Zeus are you doing Izzy?" shouted Owen has he ran down to point of the dock where Izzy and Ezekiel were. "I thought we had something special."
Izzy gave a thumbs up sign towards Owen. "Don't worry, Big-O. Zekey here was just keeping me company before you came."
"But Izzy," Ezekiel complained, "you're the one that jumped on my head, eh."
"How dare you!" Izzy screamed. "Don't believe him Big-O. He's just jealous." Izzy began to walk away, but then turned around and slapped Ezekiel across the face. "Never lie about something like that again."
"What, eh?" Zeke said as Izzy walked away, her head held high.
"Just relax, young one," said Harold, placing a hand on Ezekiel's shoulder. "That's just the way women are." Harold looked around for a bit, then screamed, "Why Leshawna? Why!"
"C'mon String Bean, that was a year ago," said a voice from the boat that just pulled in. Leshawna stepped off, carrying her cheetah skin bags behind her. "You gotta let it go."
"I will never forget the love that we shared."
Heather heard the whole conversation and decided to step in. "Love? More like pity."
Harold took no notice of her snarky remark, but did take the time to reply. "Don't be jealous, Milady. There's plenty of Harold to go around."
"Agh! No way, in Hell or Heaven, would I go out with you."
"That's just competition talking," said Harold, cleaning up his fogged up glasses.
"Please, go nerd up someone else's life." Heather walked away to go talk to Justin, who was doing his best to keep away from Beth. Who, I might add, was watching him from behind a bush.
(Confessional Cam)
Beth: Well of course I like Justin! I was just pretending not to like him in Total Drama Action so he would notice me. I love playing hard to get.
Harold: Oh who to choose, who to choose? Milady Heather or Milady Leshawna? Why must this be so hard?
Owen: I'm so glad to be with Izzy again! It was so hard during those days we were separated because of the government. What really scared me was when she said our relationship was illogical.
Ezekiel: I'm in oot to win oot this season! I'm going to win this season even if it kills me, eh! Well not really, but you goot, the point.
Heather: Me date that dork? Puh-lease! That would never happen! –Looks left and right- Not possible!
Cody: It kinda sucks that Gwen can't be my friend anymore. It's all because of Duncan! What a freaking jerk face!
Gwen: I feel so bad for what I did to Cody! It's just that Duncan's my boyfriend, and, well, I don't really want to break up with him.
Courtney: Duncan is such a (bleeping), (bleeping), freaking, (bleeping)-
Duncan: Yeah, I'm over Courtney. To be honest, I don't know what I ever saw in her. I guess she's kinda hot when she's mad, but don't tell Gwen that.
Gwen: -Watches a video of Duncan's confession- Nice to know that.
Katie and Sadie: (Katie) I can't believe we're going to be competing again!
(Sadie) I know! I still can't believe it either!
(Katie) I hope you win this season!
(Sadie) And I hope you win this season, too.
(Katie and Sadie) We can both win! EEEEIIII!
Izzy: -Cackling madly- I will win! Woohoo! –Izzy started coughing, and finally spit something up- Oops. Hairball.
Leshawna: Listen, I know that Harold still hasen't gotten over me. And while I respect him, I just can't see us going out again. I just can't figure out how to get it through his tiny, little head.
Tyler: I can't wait for Lindsay to come! She'll be so proud that I was able to go halfway through a somersault!
Trent: I really do miss Gwen, even after everything what happened. It just won't be the same ever again wit Duncan around.
(End of Confessional Cam)
DJ walked up onto the dock, holding Bunny. "Hi everyone! I'm so happy I'm not cursed anymore, so now I have a chance to win!
"Didn't we already cover this?" Bridgette said as she walked on the dock. "You were never cursed!"
"I know, I know, but it still feels great to know that I can start anew."
"That's the way, Deej! You can win this thing! Well, if I don't." Geoff had just walked onto the dock, but instead of making out with Bridgette, he decided to strike up a conversation with DJ. This is happening because on the last aftermath before the finale, Bridgette and Geoff got into a fight because Bridgette felt they spent too much time making out. Now, they barely make out anymore.
"Hey!" screamed Chris. "Too much time focused on you guys! Back to me! We're down to our final contestant, Lindsay!"
Lindsay stepped onto the dock, carrying her purse, make-up bag, and luggage, smiling broadly towards her fellow campers. "Tyler! We're going to together again! Yipee!"
"I know, Linds! C'mon over here!"
Lindsay walked over to to Tyler and kissed him, then palced her arm around his waist. "I missed you so much.
"I missed you, too. And do you want to know what my hockey team said when they saw me with you?"
"Ooh, what?"
Tyler started to blush. "Well, they sort of beat me up and said that you were and idiot for liking me. But then I told them, 'She's anything, but an idiot!"
"Aww, Tyler, that was so sweet of you. You're like the best boyfriend ever!"
"And now that everyone is here," Chris began, "we're going to be getting on with the first challenge!"
"And what is this oh, so mystical challenge, great one?" spat Noah in his usual sarcastic tone.
"The usual. You're going to be diving into a giant toilet bowl, grabbing two medals form each side. One side will determine your team, and the other will be determining if you're safe or not. Whichever team has the losing medal, has to vote someone off."
Heather stared at him, speechless at his words. "Giant? Toilet Bowl?"
"Yep! Recently broken in by Chef!"
"What!" exclaimed Trent.
"Don't worry, he flushed."
(Confession Cam)
Gwen: -Pointing at camera- Chris! If you think I'm going to do this, you have got another thing coming!
Trent: A giant toilet? Really? This is worse than all of the three season combined.
Beth: I'm not too scared of this, really. I've played in the mud with Big Bertha all the time. Who says that this would be any worse?
Ezekiel: Maybe I don't want to win, eh.
Chris: Did I mention five million dollars? Oh yes, these guys would do anything for five million.
And there's the first chapter of Total Drama Return. I hope you enjoyed, and please, feel free to read the next chapters once they are uploaded.