AS LOVERS GO;
By Jewell21
It happened accidentally, in a heartbeat.
The events that follow the path of two allies who become lovers, and a man, who desperately tries to deny himself his greatest desire.
Zutara.
Chapter 1: Letters and Arrivals
If you are dying, you feel weightless. The world you know doesn't exist anymore. It's just you and your weightlessness. That is what they always say it's like.
They lie.
The blood was a dark red, almost black, so like the colors of this nation. Why would they say that death was so wonderful if he felt so terrible? At this moment he had never hated his sister so much. And yet, he still pitied her. She would never know.
It was strange how she hired people to do her dirty work for her. In all the sixteen years that he had known her, she always loved to do things herself especially if it was at the suffering of another. For he had known, the moment his sister was born, that she would forever change his life. It wasn't until lately that he realized she could end it.
He smiled as he lay there, drenched in his own blood and blinded by pain. It was funny how at his final moments in life, he felt his happiest and most self-accomplished. Even when Azula though that she had beaten her brother at the game she played so well, she didn't realize that his death would cause an uprising and her demise was inevitable.
She would never know.
Carefully, Katara picked up the silken fabric and felt it between her hands. It was much too different from the clothing of her home tribe, but even between her fingers it felt familiar. She could not decide what to wear. Fire Lord Zuko was set to arrive to the Southern Water Tribe today and as so called "princess" of said tribe, she would have to participate in the welcoming festivities. She grimaced. All this princess stuff was getting on her nerves. The Southern Tribe had just started to gain back some infrastructure. It was nowhere near what the North was and Katara felt that the hierarchy was not needed.
Sighing, she selected her warmest red robes. Her father had asked her if she would wear the Fire Nation colors and be a symbol of welcome and familiarity to the Fire Lord and his entourage. To please her father, she painfully agreed, but of course she knew that Zuko wouldn't care in the slightest what everyone wore. This was a large diplomatic stride for him. Making a friendly connection with the Water Tribes would show the Earth Kingdom what kind of ruler the young man had become. Treaties could only go so far.
Katara wondered idly if he was very much different. It had been almost a year since she had last seen him, and yet they had surprisingly remained good friends. She often had to scold herself because she wrote more letters to Zuko than she did Aang. It wasn't necessarily her fault though. Aang was often unpredictable and traveled throughout the Earth Kingdom and Air Temples sporadically with Toph. And Zuko was her closest confident. But Aang did often visit Zuko in the Fire Nation.
He had never mentioned if Aang had said anything about their relationship, so she just assumed it was over. Even Zuko admitted to relationship troubles a few months ago. He and Mai were in the break-up stage again. Katara walked to her desk that was a present from Haru that he picked up in Omashu. Pulling a key on a chain from around her neck, she opened a draw and retrieved all of Zuko's letters. She laughed a bit at that as she remembered their seemingly pointless conversations.
To The Mighty Fire Lord Zuko,
Are you so unfortunately busy that you cannot make time for a common Water Tribe peasant like me? (I hope by now you realize that you should be kicking yourself for ignoring me.) My lovely father says that I shouldn't be bothering a busy man like you, and I tell him that if I don't, no one else besides Uncle will. I do worry that you have found yourself trapped in a mound of papers that your nobles just love to surround you in. Perhaps Mai could save you?
All kidding aside, I hope things are well. Things have been hectic here. Waterbenders from the North have done a spectacular job of rebuilding the South. It's nowhere near close to what it could be, but it's a start. Father says that Sokka will have to start working on becoming the new Chief. He says it's high time he learned to close his mouth and be responsible. I don't know, I still see Sokka as a bottomless pit, not a leader. Suki is still here, and wouldn't you know, she's pregnant. Sokka doesn't know yet because she just missed one cycle but it will be enjoyable to watch how he deals with knocking up his girlfriend.
I am bored as usual, trapped on this block of ice with nothing to do but look pretty. Being a princess is rotten Zuko, I don't know how you stand being 'royal'. I wish I could ask you to spring me from this place a bit earlier than intended; I'm not sure how much longer I will last.
I wish for you to respond Zuko, I hate not hearing from you.
Katara
Most Gracious Princess Katara,
As much as you find it amusing for me to be trapped in a mess of my own work, it was not the case. My well-meaning clerk cleaned my study and misplaced your last letter, I do apologize. And as for Mai saving me, I doubt she would ever look me in the face again. Apparently, she feels like I should commit more to her. The Council has been pushing me to marry her, but I always find a reason to push it off. Is that so wrong of me? The nobles think that my marriage will make the Fire Nation stronger, but I disagree.
As your tribe is, my country is as well rebuilding. Most of the palace was destroyed when we fought Azula, but it was fixable. Teo and Haru were kind enough to help, as you are well aware. I am pleased that the renovations are almost complete and the palace should be ready when you arrive with the Water Tribe delegation for the Summit.
Concerning Sokka, I am not that much surprised. But, this could be a benefit to him. He will gain the responsibility your father desires him to have in no time. Though he is sometimes bumbling, I do respect his opinion and I have often written to him asking what I should do for my nation. He knows much of your people and cares for them greatly. Send my congratulations to Suki.
And while I cannot, exactly "spring you from that block of ice" as you so eloquently say, your father has offered me the chance to visit and oversee his tribe. I have graciously accepted. Though, I do not know when I will arrive. I believe your birthday is next month? Perhaps I will stay until then.
Always, Zuko
Humble Fire Lord,
I congratulate your clerk on successfully freaking me out for a month.
I am sorry for you and Mai. Though honestly, I am not thoroughly surprised. You two seemed up and down for so long. Do you have any news of Aang? I sent him a letter but it was returned, saying he already passed through. Maybe I should just tell him that this isn't going to work if he's gone and I'm here and can't reach him. Please inform me if he does arrive in the Fire Nation.
I am excited however to see your home. I honestly miss the Fire Nation more than I thought I would. I miss you as well. Suki thanks you for her congratulations though she burst into tears when I read that part to her. Hormones are a bitch. She would like me to ask you if it would be all right if she had the baby at the palace. She says that she will not give birth in a 'frozen hellhole'. Or something along those lines. She could come with me in two months for the Summit and I would stay with her. I hope you say yes, it will be good for her, and I could escape this princess nonsense. I'm a Master Waterbender for La's sake.
I do hope you come to visit my small tribe. You might like it better now, but I don't think you'll be allowed to crash your ship into our walls this time. We have a palace of our own you know, but I'm sure it isn't like the grandeur that you are accustomed to. At least it is warm on the inside. Also, I cannot BELIEVE father didn't tell me he had invited you to come. It seems he forgets that I am your friend.
Don't you dare make a fuss of my birthday. My father wants to throw me a big celebration for my seventeenth birthday, but I'd rather he not. We'll see.
Oh well, I plan to escape soon; once Sokka and Suki have their baby, I won't be needed here as royalty. Perhaps I could come stay with you? I think you need someone to beat those nobles off with a stick. Or a water whip. Whichever you prefer, Fire Lord.
Love, Katara
To The Lovely Princess of the Southern Water Tribes,
Do not apologize about Mai. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Thankfully sooner. She never really understood that I basically had to rebuild our nation from the ground up. I was surprised that my ancestors didn't completely deplete our treasury. It seems as though they liked to live the extravagant lifestyle and wanted to keep it that way.
I do have news of Aang. He arrived here just days after your letter. The poor boy was completely exhausted. He did manage to make Toph laugh when he fell asleep into his dinner though. Much is to be expected of a fourteen year old boy. He does not say anything of your relationship, he didn't stay long. He said I was just a stop on the way to the Western Air Temple. How comforting. Toph is well.
Suki is more than welcome to stay. Our royal physicians are well trained for delivering. It is but an added bonus that you will come as well. I'm afraid I have lost myself a bit, being unaccompanied as I am. I put a new arena in (per request of Toph) and it has some pools of water, perhaps we could spar? I would like to have a challenging opponent again.
And I do prefer water whips, Master. You are as much welcome to stay as Suki is. Needless to say, the staff misses you dearly. Apparently you made an impression on them when you were here nine months ago for my 18th birthday.
I shall be arriving to the South hopefully a week after you receive this. I must prepare for travel. Uncle says he wishes he could join me, but I asked him to watch over the palace in my absence. My nation is still in a fragile state.
Looking forward to seeing you, Zuko
Katara smiled faintly at the letters she held. After the war, she and Zuko were always able to talk comfortably to one another. It surprised everyone else how well they got along, even two years later. She couldn't help it. He was a caring man, and he had really changed; she could finally see it.
There was a knock at her door and she shoved the letters back into the drawer and closed it just as her brother walked in.
"Hey," He smiled. "You look good. I wonder why Fire Nation colors look best on you."
Katara rolled her eyes. "I'm just doing what father says." Sokka held an arm out to escort her, and she took it.
"Sure you are," He agreed. "Or you could be secretly hoping to impress our dear friend the Fire Lord." He laughed a bit at her shocked expression. "Don't worry sis, I'm only joking. Well, let's get this show on the road, he's just arrived."
Zuko inhaled heavily as he stepped off of his ship. The Southern Tribe was colder than he remembered, though Katara had not lied when she said the waterbenders had done a good job. It wasn't as extravagant as the North, but it still had a sense of familiarity from his last visit. He frowned at the memory. If only my father could see me now, visiting the Water Tribes instead of invading them.
"Ah, Fire Lord!" He turned to see Katara's father Hakoda walking towards him, smiling. "I hope your trip was well?" Hakoda held out an arm.
Zuko gripped the Chief's outstretched forearm, greeting him in the traditional Water Tribe way. "As well as it could be on a Fire Nation ship," He replied, smiling in return.
Hakoda clapped him on the shoulder and released him. "A man after my own heart. Now, may I introduce you to my tribe?" Hakoda tuned to the side revealing the people who stood behind him. "You'll remember my mother perhaps? She told me that you met. And of course my son Sokka, and my lovely daughter Katara." He grinned gesturing to them.
Instantly, he recognized Sokka and…Katara. She was so different than he remembered, but still exactly the same. Perhaps more beautiful. Yes, that was what it was. The older woman to Katara's right was looking at him in a sort of embarrassing way.
The Chief studied the Fire Lord's face intently. "I believe they have changed much since you last saw them?"
Zuko nodded. "Time, however short, can cause many changes in people you miss."
Sokka was a bit taller and more muscular, even under his parka. His hair was also longer and he was developing facial hair. He looked like a younger version of his father. It was all there in his beaded hair, jaw line, and crooked smile. Katara on the other hand had smoothed out. No longer was the scrawny girl fifteen year old girl, but a grown, sixteen year old woman. She had lost the baby fat in her face; her cheekbones were prominent under her tanned skin. Her eyes were smaller, framed by long brown lashes. And lips that were full and finally equally matched. Her hair was in somewhat of a mixture of Water Tribe and her Fire Nation style. Her red robes hugged her nicely, but had distinct Water Tribe qualities.
The young Fire Lord stepped forward to Sokka, as was customary to greet the older men first. "Master Swordsman and Prince of the Southern Water Tribe," He gripped Sokka's forearm, just like his father's.
The Water Tribe boy burst out laughing. "Oh don't be so ridiculous Zuko! You're like family!" He pulled Zuko closer and grasped him in a quick hug. "Good to see you brother. And in the Southern Water Tribe no less!"
Zuko smiled at him. "Always good to be at your home, brother." He finally turned towards Katara. She stood at her brother's right, her head bowed slightly in respect. Who was this calm and graceful woman before him? "Princess Katara…"
Katara looked up into his face, her oceanic eyes meeting his. "Most esteemed Fire Lord," She bowed quickly. "Welcome to our tribe."
He only laughed at her and pulled her into a hug. It was something they both enjoyed, creating the most ridiculous titles for each other that they could. It had started in their letters.
Katara laughed as well, but it was muffled by Zuko's neck. "Oh Zuko, it really is good to see you," she held onto his arms as he released her. "You look so different."
He smiled. "As do you, Princess. I can't help but notice that you grow more beautiful every time I see you."
Katara blushed. "Stop, you old softy. But what about you?" She asked. "You're so tall. Are your nobles afraid of you yet?"
"Unfortunately, no. But, they have been getting better." He looked around at her growing village. "Your home has prospered greatly since my last visit," he complimented.
Hakoda stepped in. "Perhaps you'd like to see our lodge Fire Lord? I'm sure you are tired from being on a Fire Nation boat," he joked. "Come, it has grown cold out here. I think a warm room and a meal sounds good, don't you agree?"
Zuko bowed politely. "It would be much appreciated Chief Hakoda."
The Fire Lord held out an arm to Katara to escort her back to the lodge. "You know," he said, leaning to whisper in her ear, "It's much better to speak to you in person. Though I do enjoy your letters. They are comforting in an empty palace."
Katara patted his arm. "How sad for you. Hold long will Uncle be staying in the Fire Nation? I wanted to spend time with him at the Summit."
"And here I thought you were coming to see me. He said that he would stay for the Summit and then however long I needed him afterwards. He told me he wished he could have come for your birthday, but I needed him to watch over things," Zuko replied.
Katara nodded. "Hm, yes that's what you said in your letter. As much as I miss him, I'm glad he isn't here for my birthday," she frowned, a crease appearing between her eyebrows. "He would just make the festivities grander, and Agni knows I've tried to keep it small. Seventeen isn't that important."
Sokka, who had slowed down to join them, interrupted. "It's only important for you Katara. You'll be seventeen and you're still unmarried. Sometimes I think father wants some Water Tribe man to sweep you off your feet and marry you."
Katara groaned lightly. "Why Dad would want that for me is something I cannot understand."
Zuko smiled at her. "Is there something about marriage to a Water Tribe man that you are opposed to?"
"Are you kidding Zuko?" Sokka laughed, "Katara's an independent girl. I don't think that anyone in our tribe could handle her."
Katara rolled her eyes. "Thanks Sokka. The thing about marriage is that I don't want to be told who to love. I learned well from Gran Gran that I should marry for love. I'm surprised father would think I should marry. Marriages aren't arranged in the South, and he shouldn't interfere. I can handle it on my own."
"Perhaps your father is just worried about you. Maybe he doesn't want you to be stuck here as much as you don't want to. Sokka has a future as Chief. Maybe he is trying to help you find your place in a world that doesn't have war. You don't necessarily have a role that will directly impact your tribe," Zuko reasoned.
Katara chewed on her lip. "That makes sense. You are the Fire Lord, and you have a country to look after. Sokka will be Chief and have new responsibilities for our tribe. And Aang is always traveling around with Toph, spreading the peace. I just don't want to commit to settling down and having kids. I am young, and it seems too early."
Zuko scoffed. "Try telling that to the nobles. They say I need to find 'a lovely girl to marry and produce heirs with'. That just makes it seem like it's a job and it shouldn't be. I'm sure they will force someone on me sooner or later."
"That's rough, buddy," Sokka said.
"Yeah, tell me about it," Zuko agreed.
The Water Tribe feast that was held in his honor was not as Zuko thought it would be. The food was rich and thick, typical of living in such a cold region. It had a variety of flavors and textures and even contained dishes from the Earth Kingdom and one from his nation. He suspected that his friends had set that up for him. They all sat on a low dais with many of the tribesmen around them. Katara had explained that if one wanted, they could dine with the royal family.
"I understand," he had said. "The Water Tribes are communal. Your people have a deep sense of unity and love."
The Fire Lord sat to Chief Hakoda's left with Katara to his. Sokka was on his father's right with a man named Bato next to him. It was very unusual to Zuko for the family to interact and joke with each other. As a child, dinner with his parents was eaten in silence. Only precious time during the day was allowed for the family to be together. Spending time with the Avatar's group had shown him the true meaning of family. Ones who sit and actually enjoy each other. It was much the same with the tribesmen. He enjoyed a particular story that the elderly grandmother told about when Sokka and Katara were children and they had run out into the snow, naked. Sokka of course found it to be amusing and manly, but Katara's face had flushed a light pink and she became very interested in her dinner plate.
Zuko smirked at her reaction. "Don't worry," he told her. "When you see Uncle again, get him to tell you embarrassing stories about Azula and I. You'll feel better."
She smiled back, but didn't say anything, which made him slightly nervous about what she would try and find out. As the meal finally began to end, Katara turned towards her father for the first time.
"Dad?" she asked. "I believe the Fire Lord may need his rest. The cold is not an easy place to be for a firebender. Shall I show him to his room?"
Hakoda appraised his daughter. "That would be very kind Katara," he looked to Zuko. "She will show you to your room. It may not be as big as you are accustomed to, but we are still expanding," he smiled. "Tomorrow if you would like, Sokka, Bato and I are going ice dodging. It's a sport particularly reserved for men. Would you like to come?"
Sokka leaned forward around his father to speak to Zuko. "Yeah, you should come, Fire Lord. It's the Water Tribe's test of manhood. Young boys are taken by their fathers or elders when they come of age. You can't marry a Water Tribe woman without doing it."
Zuko's face pinched oddly at Sokka's words. He looked back to Hakoda, straight into his eyes. "I am much obliged to join you."
"Fantastic my boy!" Hakoda clapped him on the shoulder. "I shall have Sokka get you in the morning. Sleep well Fire Lord, and goodnight Katara."
A/N: The tenses in this chapter might be confusing. I do apologize. If you didn't get it, it starts out with a dream of Zuko's, jumps to the present, which is with Katara in the South and then she remembers the letters. Then it comes back to the present.
Another matter that I think may be confusing is the timeline. This is roughly 2 years since the end of the war. The next summer after the war is when the Gaang is last together completely at Zuko's 18th birthday. Then it's about 3 months into the next year and it will be Katara's birthday. I don't imagine Zuko being exactly 2 years older than Katara. Perhaps more like a year and a half. SO, it's winter when Zuko arrives in the South for Katara's birthday and in the spring, the Summit will begin, where delegates and leaders from all four nations meet in the Fire Nation.
Also, the relationship between Zuko and Katara thus far is platonic. That's how it was in the series and that's how I'm starting this out. But, it will change quickly.
Hope there weren't any misconceptions!
Thanks for reading.