Pokémon Ed Version Reginald Edition
Chapter One "Challenge of the Samurai Ed"
Written by thebestkindofstupid (A.K.A. Reginald Konga)
Author's Notes: Before we begin, I would like to express special thanks to the people who helped me brainstorm for this series. I don't want to go too in-depth with what's going to happen in the story, but this story is set eight years after the events of Pokémon Sapphire Version which, in my head, is the canon version (not that Game Freak will ever acknowledge something like that). Be sure to leave a review if you enjoyed this story as it's always appreciated. Without further ado, here is the story.
One of the Team Tenebrous Administrators was performing his usual check of the facility when he walked past the two young grunts standing guard over the most important prize in the entire building.. The Administrator turned to his right to face the two soldiers. He looked at the solider on the left, then to the one on the right, then to the left.
"Sir," spoke the one on the right, "is there something about the other grunt that has captured your attention, sir?"
The Administrator then said, "Yes, there is, private."
The grunt on the left seemed a bit nervous. He was only about twelve years old, and he was short even for his age. His regular black and red uniform was just a tad big on him.
"Sir, is it because he's a little young to be working for Team Tenebrous, sir?" asked the grunt on the right.
"Actually, it's because his skin is pink," the administrator answered without looking back at the grunt. He continued to look at the twelve-year-old member and said to him, "Do you have any sort of fungal infection or other such disease I should be aware of?"
The young grunt responded, "Not that I'm aware of, sir."
"Go see the doctor about that tomorrow."
"Yes, sir," responded the younger of the two grunts, obviously a bit relieved.
The administrator then made his exit. "Is he gone?" asked the older grunt.
"Yeah, I think so," said the younger grunt.
"Good. Hey, I could really use a bathroom break. You think you could cover for me?"
"Sure, thing," the younger grunt said.
"Thanks, Eddy," said the older grunt.
"No problem, Tim," said Eddy.
The older grunt then said, "Actually, that's not my name, but I'm in a bit of a bind, so I'll take it." The older grunt then rushed away.
Eddy looked around to make sure no one was looking. "Phew," he said, "I thought he'd never leave." He then checked the radar to see if there were any other grunts or administrators nearby. "The coast is clear. Heheheh."
He turned around and opened the steel-enforced door behind him. He then walked up to his prize. He carefully cut a hole out of the glass box, then he grabbed the bright blue and yellow sphere Eddy then decided to make a break for it.
Within three minutes, the alarm went off. Everyone was on the lookout for whomever stole their big catch.
Eddy had run a few hundred yards away from the premises on a motorbike. When he had made it far enough, he changed into his normal clothes––a yellow bowling shirt with a red stripe and purple collar and some baby blue pants. He put his Team Tenebrous outfit on the motorbike before setting it on autopilot in a different direction. Eddy put the sphere in his pocket, and began walking rather casually.
"Hey, you!" Eddy stopped in his tracks. He turned and saw a man in a fedora who then said, "Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle."
"Um, yeah, sparkle, sparkle, sparkle," Eddy repeated.
"Wow, I've been trying to get someone to say it back for nine years. Thank you so much!" the man said.
"No problem," Eddy said before continuing his way towards his getaway vehicle: a small motorboat fit for only one person.
An older voice appeared to be snoring. "Zurgh, huh? What? I fell asleep. What time is it?"
"I'm afraid you've slept all day and night. It's Tuesday now."
"Yeah, dork, it's 6 in the morning."
The owner of the older voice was surprised. "How many minutes?"
"What the––?! It's 6:23 a.m. What difference does it make?"
The older voice was now amazed. "Wow, 6:23 a.m.?"
"I'm afraid so."
"You woke me up early … twice … for this clown?"
The owner of the older voice then said, "No wonder it's so dark. The sun's just rising."
"Yeah, dork. Can we get this show on the road?"
A light came on in the room revealing a man who had brown hair and a beard and appeared to be in his forties.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," said the man. "Welcome to the world of Pokémon. My name is Birch, but everyone calls me the Pokémon Professor." Professor Birch then threw a PokéBall, a perfectly spherical device––the top half red and the lower half white––which comfortably encapsulates Pokémon. When it hit the ground, it revealed a Taillow––a dual-type Normal/Flying Pokémon. "As you know, we humans live alongside Pokémon, at times as friendly playmates and at times cooperative workmates, and sometimes we band together and battle others like us."
As he was speaking, a monitor nearby showcased a Pokémon battle being fought between the Grass-Type Pokémon Bellossom fighting the Water-Type Pokémon Poliwhirl. Bellossom seemed to have the upperhand at first, but Poliwhirl quickly turned the tides of battle by using Ice Beam, which was super effective against Grass-Types. Bellossom fainted and returned to her PokéBall.
Professor Birch continued, "However, there are still many things we don't know about Pokémon. To unravel Pokémon mysteries, I have been undertaking Pokémon research for roughly two decades. You'll be helping me quite a bit, but first thing's first. What is your name?"
The light came on over a tall boy who was also around twelve years old. He wore an orange shirt and purple pants. On his head sat a black hat resembling a sock. He said, "My name is Eddward, but people call me Double D to differentiate me from my two companions who are also named Ed."
"Ah," said Professor Birch, "I see." He turned around to face the other figure. Another light came on revealing another boy around the same age. He had a green shirt, black pants, and a red hat. He was often slouching for some reason. "This is my eighth cousin. I'm sure you're already well acquainted. From what I've heard, he's been your rival since you were a baby. Euh, what is his name again?!"
"Oh! My name is Kevin, and you know it's Kevin!" exclaimed the boy in the green shirt. "Stop being ridiculous and get on with it!"
"Very well, then," Professor Birch said, trying to wrap things up. "It's about time you––"
Just then, a very tall boy in a green jacket burst into the room through the ceiling. "Do it again!" he exclaimed upon reaching the ground.
"Ed, where on Earth have you been?" Double D asked.
"I was trying to catch a Pidgey. It's a lot harder than it looks."
"Ed, you're supposed to weaken it with a starter, and then throw a Pokéball to catch it. It's no wonder you couldn't get your Trainer's Licensse. Wait, where's Eddy?"
"No clue," said Ed. "I thought he was with me."
Double D said, "Ed, I don't understa––"
Suddenly, Eddy burst through the doors and ran up to his two comrades. "Guys, check out what I just got!" He held up the same Quick Ball from earlier.
"Oh, boy, JAWBREAKER!" Ed exclaimed. He then closed his eyes to take a bite, but Eddy quickly replaced it with a wad of vines with numerous thorns. "Owch," Ed said in disappointment.
"Ed, that's a Quick Ball," Double D said. "You throw it at the very start of a wild encounter for a better chance to capture the Pokémon."
"It's what's inside that matters," Eddy explained. "This Quick Ball contains a Victini."
"You mean the mythical Victini that is said to always bring Victory to its trainer?" Double D asked.
"Yep," Eddy said, "Just imagine how much money we can win with this thing!"
"I hate to interrupt this discussion," said the approaching professor, "but did you pass your Pokémon Trainer's Exam?"
"Nah," Eddy said, "I had to miss it to get this thing, but man, was it worth it!"
"What a dork!" Kevin said to himself.
"Well, I'm afraid that that was your third attempt. You won't be able to take it again for another year."
Eddy was devastated. "What? But I just––"
"I'm afraid rules are rules," said Birch.
"Then what am I going to do with this?" Eddy said pointing to the Quick Ball.
By this point, Kevin was distracted by the machine in Birch's lab. His first instinct told him it was best not to mess with it, but he couldn't help but want to figure out what it did. It didn't seem to do anything.
"Well, I suppose if you gave it to Double D here, you could follow him on his Pokémon expedition."
"Is there any other way," Eddy said.
"I'm afraid it's doubtful," said Birch.
"Fine," Eddy said before handing it to Double D.
"Wow, Eddy, my first Pokémon, and it's a legendary too. Thank you so much!" Double D said.
"Eh, whatever," Eddy said.
"Now, then, Kevin, Double D, I'd like you to both select a Pokémon. You may have the grass-type Snivy, the Fire-Type Charmander, or the Water-type Mudkip." He turned to face Kevin.
"After you, Kevin," said Double D.
"Oh, no, you take the first Pokémon. I insist," Kevin spoke. He had a strange look on his face as if he was trying to look polite when in reality he was holding some sort of secret.
"Very well, then," Double D said.
"This better be good," Eddy mumbled to himself.
Double D looked carefully over the selection. On the right there was a blue Pokémon on four legs with pointy orange cheeks. In the middle was a Pokémon resembling a large orange bipedal salamander but with a flame at the tip of its tail. On the left was a green Pokémon with a large head standing on its hind legs.
"Today, dude!" Eddy rudely interrupted Double D's train of thought.
"Ooh, ooh, get the Mudkip," Ed said.
"No, get the Charmander. Charizard's so cool."
"Actually, Eddy, I believe a Water-type would be better suited to our team for the sake of balance."
"So, you'll take the Mudkip?" Professor Birch asked.
"Yes, I believe so," Double D said.
"Very well, then," Professor Birch said before pressing a button on his desk. Mudkip returned to his PokéBall. "Would you like to give a nickname to your Mudkip."
"I believe Matthew would be a good name," Double D suggested. "Don't you agree, Eddy?"
"Yawn!" Eddy said. Double D finalized the nickname.
"All right, then," Kevin said. "I'll choose this one then." Kevin grabbed the Snivy's Pokéball, commanding it to return to its spherical home. "Mine looks a lot stronger," he pridefully added
Before he left, Double D was sure to express gratitude to Birch, "Thank you very much for the Pokémon, Professor Birch,"
"My pleasure," he responded. "Just be sure to take good care of it. That Mudkip was bred by someone very special."
"Hold on, Double D," Kevin exclaimed. "We should test out our Pokémon right now. C'mon, let's battle." Kevin then threw the Pokéball to send out Snivy, leaving Double D no choice but to summon Victini for its first battle.
"Oh, for Pete's saek… So push as always," Birch expressed at the thought of Kevin's impatience.
"Hey, what happened to Mudkip?" Kevin asked. "Where'd you get that fire-type?"
"Sheesh, weren't you paying attention?" Ed asked. "Double D got the Victory-inity from Eddy."
"You sure you don't want to send out Mudkip?" Kevin asked.
"What do you think?!" Eddy asked.
"All right, fine, be that way," Kevin said. "All right, Snivy, use Leaf Tornado," he commanded.
Snivy then became confused. It hurt itself in its confusion.
"Kevin, what made you think it already knew Leaf Tornado?" Birch asked. "It's only Level 5."
"I thought if I did it fast enough, it wouldn't notice," Kevin admitted.
"Victini," Double D shouted, "use Incinerate."
Victini then unleashed a large breathe of fire engulfing Snivy. "It's super effective!" Ed exclaimed. Snivy fainted. "Wow, a critical hit!" Ed continued.
"What are ya? The announcer?" Eddy jeered.
"Yes," Ed answered.
"Shut up," Eddy commanded.
"Unbelievable!" Kevin exclaimed. "I should've called dibs on the Mudkip when I had the chance."
The battle ended when Victini returned to his Pokéball.
"Congratulations on winning your first trainer battle, Eddward," Birch complemented. He then turned to Kevin, "I'm very sorry, Kevin. You must be disappointed, but you––"
"Yeah, yeah," Kevin interrupted. He handed some money to Double D. "Here's 64 Pokédollars. Just don't tell anyone I lost."
A wild editor's note appeared: "The money system in the Japanese version of Pokémon is just the Japanese Yen. Exchange rates differ by day, so for the purposes of convenience, 100 Pokédollars equals one United States Dollar. ––Editor"
Eddy rushed over to Double D. He looked at the three bills and the four PokéPennies in Double D's hands in disbelief. "You mean we get money for beating trainers."
Double D replied, "Well, yes, it's customary for trainers in the Hoenn region and many other places to offer compensation for––"
"All right!" Eddy exclaimed. He'd been expecting to gamble with Pokémon battles, but he didn't expect to make money from every Pokémon battle. "Well, in that case, let's get out there and start battling!" Eddy yelled.
"Ahem," Professor Birch coughed. "I believe you boys are forgetting your PokéDex." He then presented them an electronic device to Double D. "Catching a Pokémon will register a PokéDex entry, so I encourage you to catch as many species as possible."
"Do you really expect us to catch every species of Pokémon?" Eddy asked.
"Not really," Birch admitted. "Right now, we know of over six hundred, and we keep discovering new ones in different territories. It doesn't really matter anyway because the PokéDex makes up information as it goes along. I mean, a lot of them are about people being reincarnated as Ghost-Type Pokémon and Pokémon digesting humans with acid, so it's actually a really good thing that they're not true. Of course, it could come in handy if you want to know a Pokémon's typing."
"Oh," Eddy said, "well, I guess that makes sense."
A figure entered Professor Birch's lab. "Excuse me," she said upon entering the room. The figure stepped into the light. It was a little girl the same age as the boys in the room. She had short blonde hair and a black and white shirt. "Sorry, I'm late. May I still get a Pokémon?"
"I do apologize, Nazz, but you are indeed late. There's only one Pokémon left."
"Cool! A Charmander…" she exclaimed rushing over to the table. "I think I'll name it Chad."
"Well, I would love to stick around with you dorks …and Nazz," Kevin said, "but I've got about eight gym leaders to beat. Bon Voyage." With that, Kevin left the laboratory.
"That Kevin… always leaving on bad speaking terms." Birch mumbled. "I suppose this is the beginning of your grand adventure. Take care."
"You too, Professor," said Double D.
"Come on, let's get going before Kevin gets all the prize money," Eddy said, dragging Double D by his hand.
Ed followed closely behind. "Plural pronoun!" he exclaimed.
Thus, our epic story begins. What kind of wacky antics are on the verge in this story? Only time will tell.
Author's Notes: So, yeah, there will be more updates to come. Be sure to review the story if you liked it. Thanks for reading.