Chapter 1

He was gone. I couldn't understand it. Why? Why had he left me here? Why had they left me here? He told me he loved me? He saved me after James nearly killed me. Was that a show? Were all those words lies? Did he mean it at all, any word, or was this just a sick joke for the Cullens? He had not sucked the blood and life out of me but it felt like I was dead. It had been only a week since he left but it seemed that it was only a few hours. The pain seeped through me as I recalled his words that were still so vivid in my mind.

His face expressionless as he spoke those words that nearly crushed my heart… I stopped my thoughts. I had made a solemn oath to never ever recollect any hour, any minute, any second of the last time I saw him because I knew any memory of his perfect face and body…...would haunt me for days on end.

I scooted out of my room. I needed something to do. Thinking of him always got me depressed. I went to call Jessica she said she, Lauren and Angela were doing something fun for the weekend. I sincerely hoped that it would be enough to rid me of the nagging memories of him that always haunted my mind in my free time.

I picked out the shortest of clothes that Lauren and Jess had put in front of me, short black pants, black vest-top and a bowed, open toed high heel red shoe. I closed my eyes and listened intently on their conversation as Lauren dyed my hair a cherry red. I decided since I was joining the official whore gang with them I might as well do it right.

"You think I should fuck Ben?" Angela was asking. I was always appalled to hear Angela cuss. She had always seemed really shy to me. I opened my eyes to stare up at her. She was wearing a purple gothic top with a Capri pants and heavy make-up on her face. Thank goodness Charlie was in La Push. What would have happened if he came in and saw shy Angela wearing that! "I mean I know I fuck other guys…but there just guys he's my boyfriend."

"Definitely fuck him, tonight even." Lauren replied. She and I were never on good terms before but ever since I joined the full pledged bitch team she welcomed me with open arms.

"I don't think you should fuck him tonight. I mean don't you want him to lust for you, to want you? I say have really kinky phone sex and make him imagine what would happen if he waited. Then surprise him and fuck him really good tomorrow." I looked up and smiled at Angela. Lauren, Angela and even Jessica who was on the phone stopped what they were doing to look at me with horrified faces. Maybe I said too much. "Great idea Bella for a new whore-a-rookie you sure pick up fast." I smiled with relief at Jessica as she clicked off her phone.

"Why haven't I thought of that?" Lauren asked herself. "It's a good idea Bella." I thought Lauren would have been angry at me for countering her idea but I guess things had really changed between her and me. "Ok up you go you're done. We better hurry it's already ten." She said looking at her watch. I hadn't even realized how late it was. I stepped out of the chair, cleaned up the mess and followed Angela to Jessica's car. I tried to breathe in and out as the thoughts of what I was actually about to do sunk in.

I woke up feeling sick to the core. I twisted and turned and realized this wasn't my room. The night's activities came back to me slowly but surely. Seeing Jacob….taking him upstairs…taking crack and rum before having sex…Something foul entered up my throat. I hopped out of the bed to the toilet and saw a bottle of headache tablets and a glass of water.

After I was finished hurling, I gulped down the pills followed by the water and went straight into the shower. Taking the longest and most likely the most peaceful shower I've had in the past week.

I went downstairs to find everyone was there and waiting for me with breakfast. Jacob came forward and handed me a plate, with eggs, bacon and a cup of tea, kissing me full on the lips. "We didn't want to eat without you." He led me to a chair and sat me on his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder, smiling and remembering the night of passion we shared together. It seemed too good to be true. I hadn't been so at ease in what seemed to be a century. I thought coming here would have been a huge mistake but instead I was feeling light-hearted and free.

"So, what's on the schedule for today?" Mia asked. She was the well known bitch and cheerleader in school. I had always thought she had a problem with me but it seemed girls of this gang were always a little mean to outsiders. I guess I should start learning.

She sat comfortably on Mike's lap. I had never thought him capable of such acts. Thinking about it, I hadn't thought me capable of such either.

"Well we girls were planning to go to Port Angeles to shop and Jake said he would take you guys for a bike rides in La Push…..so that's it." Angela said. She was sitting next to Ben but nibbling Eric's ear. I wondered if Ben ever had even the slightest thought that Angela never really cared about him. I would've by now. But I guess there comfortable with the current arrangements so why bother. I guess one of the things I should learn was not to take things so seriously, to just sit back and enjoy life. Live life to the fullest, that was going to be my motto.

"I have to change now I thought we were staying home. Bella are you coming?" Lauren sulked and turned to look at me. That's why she asked for me to bring 3 different outfits. I guess it was pretty obvious but I had to tell Charlie what I was doing. "Oh Bella don't worry about Charlie I called him for you." Jacob said. "He's probably expecting your call at the end of the day so no worries." I gave him a passionate wet kiss, oblivious to the little snickers around me. "Thanks" I said and headed after Lauren to change.

"Come on Lauren. Where are you?" I heard Amanda screaming at the top of her lungs inside the house at Lauren. Angela and me just decided to play charades. She told me it made no sense getting angry. Lauren always took an hour to get dressed whether we liked it or not.

I had chosen a really cute navy blue mini-skirt and a black vest top that cut before my navel showing a navel piercing. "Lauren you're not getting ready for a photo shoot now let's go!" Amanda shouted. She was our leader, but Lauren just ignored her a lot.

"I wouldn't take advice from you Amanda when even Eric rejected you last night. Don't think we didn't know those sex noises were fake." The whole bus blasted out with laughter. We all thought the sounds were off but made no bones about it.

"Well I guess nothing was going on with you and Tyler last night or you wouldn't know. He doesn't fuck that good does he? Trust me I would know." We all toppled over with laughter at Amanda's comeback. Angela even started crying and Mia fell out of the van gasping for air. That only made me and Jessica laugh even harder.

We were starting to cool down when we heard a crash in the kitchen. We ran into to the house, but I was pretty sure of what we would see. Yes, I was right. Lauren was delivering cuffs to Amanda who was lying on the floor, defenseless, with melted ice-cream splattered all over her face and glass surrounding them both.

Before anyone could move, Jessica and I nearly toppled over laughing at the scene. Angela and Mia joined in because Amanda had now found a bowl of spoiled spaghetti on the counter, meant for the trash, and had thrown it all over Lauren. Angela, in an attempt to stop the fight, started throwing food at them, and Jess and I joined in.

After 10 minutes of splattering food at each other and laughing we all gave up and went upstairs to shower and change. Angela and I had to borrow clothes from Lauren because we hadn't come prepared for a food fight.

It was like it was never a fight at all. We were all snickering and Amanda and Lauren were talking as if nothing happened. I was beginning to feel right at home in an environment that was unlike anything I had ever experienced.