AN: Hey guys, yes, as I promised this is the first chapter of the parody. I don't know if it's gonna make you laugh, but if I succeed let me know in a review, I'm kinda a proud person. I guess this will be my sole author's note in the story cuz I don't want to ruin the plot's development in some way.
WARNING: This parody contains EVERYTHING that could actually cross my weird mind, so be aware of it.
DISCLAIMER: I just own the characters I invented, but I don't own Wicked. *tear*
OZIAN N.1: *whispers in Ozian N.2 ear* Did you hear about her?
OZIAN N.2: *still whispering* Yes, she died…
OZIAN N.1: *yells* What?!
OZIAN N.2: I thought you were talking about the old witch.
OZIAN N.1: Which old witch? *is confused*
OZIANS: The Wicked Witch!
ELPHABA'S FANS: She wasn't old!
OZIAN N.1: Shout up, you aren't supposed to speak.
ELPHABA'S FANS: Yes we are!
OZIAN N.2: No you're not.
ELPHABA'S FANS: *start fighting with the two Ozians*
*THE CURTAIN IS CLOSED*
AUTHORESS 1: Sorry, we are moving on with the plot soon. *someone throws her in the fight backstage*
*AFTER TEN MINUTES THE CURTAIN IS OPENED*
OZIAN N.1: *has a black eye*
OZIAN N.3: Look it's…
GLINDA: *flutters in a big bubble*
OZIAN N.3: It's…
GLINDA: *pouts* c'mon you.
OZIAN N.3: *whispers to Ozian 1* What's her name?
OZIAN N.1: *whispers back after a long time* I think it's Sandra. *convinced*
OZIAN N.3: Look it's Sandra!
GLINDA: It's Glinda! *is furious*
OZIAN N.3: Where? Who's Glinda?
GLINDA: I'm Glinda!
OZIAN GIRL: *hits Ozian n.3 with a bottle of water*
GLINDA: How did you get it? I want one. *pouts*
AUTHORESS 2: Ahem, err… go on with the story!
GLINDA: I have my times! *yells*
AUTHORESS 1: Go on, or you're not gonna be paid.
GLINDA: Fine. Fellow Ozians…
RANDOM GIRL: *comes onstage*
LET US BE GLAD! LET US BE GRATEFUL!
*someone drags her backstage with a curve stick*
GLINDA: *is amazed*
LET US REJOYCIFY THAT GOODNESS COULD SUBDUE…
OZIAN N.2: Thank goodness! *smiles*
AUTHORESS 1: *is bored and eats a toast*
FREX: Thanks to the Unnamed God! *skips on the stage, side to side, throwing roses' petals*
GLINDA: *is shocked*
OZIANS: *are shocked*
AUTHORESSES: *are shocked*
AUDIENCE: *is shocked*
GREGORY MAGUIRE: *laughs wickedly*
OZIAN N.1: *to Ozian n.2* No way, I told you he was gay. Give me money.
OZIAN N.2: Duh. *gives him money with a sad face*
GLINDA: *clears troath* Anyway, would please someone ask details about her death, or am I just a fool in a bubble?!
OZIANS: *stare at each other*
OZIAN N.4: Who's dead?
OZIANS: *scream* The Wicked Witch!
OZIAN N.2: Glinda…
GLINDA: Yes? *smiles happily for being consulted*
OZIAN N.2: We already know how she died.
GLINDA: *is disappointed* How comes?
ADELE: Rumour has it!
ADELE'S FANS: *scream and faint*
ADELE: *runs away*
OZIAN N.1: Hey, I wanted an autograph! *becomes sad*
*someone throws a piece of paper on him*
OZIAN N.1: My eye! You hit me in the eye! The other good eye!
OZIAN N.2: But it's an autograph!
OZIAN N.1: Yay! *goes offstage to put some ice on*
AUTHORESS 2: Will we ever end this?
AUTHORESS 1: *chomps*
AUTHORESS 2: What are you eating? You are not supposed to bring food in here.
AUTHORESS 1: But I was hungry!
AUTHORESS 2: Well this- oh, is it jam? *is amazed and eats with Authoress 1*
GELPHIE SHIPPER: Glinda, is it true you were her friend?
OZIAN N.2: Damn you, my line!
GLINDA: Who's friend? *is confused*
ELPHABA'S FAN: Elphaba's friend!
GLINDA: Oh, yes we were best friends but then she escaped with my fiancé and we got a fight and then-
OZIANS: *gasp* So wicked…
OZIAN N.2: Yo, wait. Why don't you tell us the story from the beginning?
GLINDA: Yes, I'll tell you the story in details just to let you know all my deepest emotions, violating not only my privacy but also the one of the people involved in the story.
AUTHORESS 2: *eating* Stop desfbcriving it andbf speak the way you eat. *speaks with her mouth plenty of food*
AUTHORESS 1: Yay, food!
AUTHORESS 2: *shakes head*
GLINDA: *moves the bubble down but the machine goes mad and makes her fall on the ground*
BOQ: *runs onstage and helps her getting up*
AUDIENCE: Aaaaawwww.
BOQ: *runs offstage scared, feeling observed*