Disclaimer: I don't own the Warriors. Erin Hunter does.

A/N: The idea for this story came about when Cherry and me decided to participate in a co-authoring activity, but due to circumstances that the two of us could not foresee, we only got to the prologue. Since then Cherry has deleted this story from her page, so I thought I would pick it up and finish it. I did give the story a different title and tweaked the plot quiet a bit, though. Original title was She Who Shields. Cherry's page is linked on my profile, so you can check out her stories as well. ^^

ShadowClan Allegiances

Leader:

Nettlestar - dark gray tabby tom with bright, green eyes, long battle scar down his left flank.

Deputy:

Redfur - dark red-brown tom with a white throat and startling blue eyes. {Apprentice, Heatherpaw}

Medicine Cat:

Swiftfeather - jet black she-cat with golden eyes

Warriors:

Cinderblaze - dark brown tom with brown eyes and a torn ear. {Apprentice, Mudpaw}

Brightnose - sandy-colored she-cat with bright amber eyes.

Sootcloud - gray tom with a white belly and amber eyes.

Darkstreak - black-and-gray tom with long legs and amber eyes.

Featherclaw - white she-cat with dark brown eyes and unusually long claws.

Ashlight - light gray she-cat with dark gray paws, white spots on her muzzle and light green eyes.

Rainpelt - black tom with blue eyes and matted fur.

Russetfoot - russet-colored tom with amber eyes.

Apprentices:

Mudpaw - tortoiseshell she-cat with brown eyes and dark brown paws.

Heatherpaw - brown tabby with a white chest and legs, and pale yellow eyes.

Queens:

Willowtail - blue-cream tortoiseshell with amber eyes. {Kits: Whitekit, Dapplekit, Graykit}

Elders:

Foxstripe - dark ginger tom with several dark brown stripes on his back and green eyes.

Softpelt - brown-gray tabby she-cat with short fur and hazy yellow eyes.

Prologue

I often hear my Clanmates complaining how depressed they felt when they weren't chosen to attend a Gathering or when they could not go out on the patrol that they wanted. All that whining about such simple matters gets on my nerves. It isn't that I am heartless or short tempered. It is because they exaggerate their disappointment too much. They have no idea how the cold grasp of true depression feels, unlike me.

I wasn't always depressed. There was a time when I was a carefree little kit who played quite roughly with all her littermates and got into trouble with the elders exceedingly. We would set out to explore the camp as much as possible and dream that one day we would become the best and most loyal ShadowClan cats there ever were. However, I've always felt a little nagging inside my mind that would dampen my happy mood. I've constantly brushed it aside and thought that it was normal.

It wasn't until later on during my apprenticeship that I truly realized what I was capable of. I remember that day very clearly. I was waiting in the camp very anxiously for our battle patrol that set out to confront the WindClan attackers, who invaded our territory through the use of the tunnel that went under the Thunderpath, to return. When the patrol arrived back to camp, they were carrying the body of a Clanmate, who happened to be my best friend's father. Her heart broke and I tried my best to be there for her and support her in her time of need.

While I was comforting her, I wished that I could help her carry her burden, so that she didn't need to feel all of the pain and loss. As I made that wish, I could feel that my heart grew heavier and I was on the verge of tears. I saw that my best friend's eyes were cleared of the fog of pain and she was more herself. Of course, she still felt grief for her father, but it wasn't as intense.

After that incident, I tried it a couple more times just to make sure I wasn't making the whole thing up. I was able to sympathize with a queen that lost her kit and alleviate her of the worst sadness and heartache. I was able to empathize with the whole Clan when the deputy went to hunt with StarClan and ease them from the worst feelings of loss. From that moment on, I was certain that I had a special ability that allows me to absorb pain and hurt of the cats around me.

At the time of discovery, I was happy and content with my special ability. It meant that I could serve my Clan better than I could ever before. So at first, I concentrated on the cats that were closest to me and tried to absorb whatever hurt they were feeling so that they wouldn't need to experience it as much. As time passed, I was certain that I could handle all the negative feelings, so I extended my ability to the rest of the Clan. It made ShadowClan stronger and happier than we have ever been before. It pleased me that I was the only one that could give this gift to my Clan.

However, not too soon after, I felt I was about to overflow with all these feelings and would explode if I didn't stop. So for a while, I did, but as I watched, ShadowClan regained the tinge of misery from before. I felt it was my duty to protect them from it. And so, I continued to absorb the negative feelings again with no regard to what I felt.

I soon began to feel the effects of my choice. I was becoming more and more depressed each day. The closest cats to me were starting to see a change in my behavior and were questioning me nonstop if I was alright. Of course, I told them that I was. They wouldn't understand what I was going through and I wasn't in the mood to explain it to anyone. It was my burden to carry alone.

As the depression settled in, I became less focused on my duties to my Clan and started moping around camp all day or finding activities to do that brought my mind off of the accumulated hurt. I even found thyme around our territory and ate it since it calms me down. I hissed at cats that kept asking me about my welfare and told them it was nothing to worry about.

Gossip and rumors started to erupt within the Clan about my behavior and I did my best to ignore them, until my friends started to avoid me at all costs. I ended up listening in to what they were saying and my anger and hurt added into the rest of the negative feelings I was still absorbing. I knew I couldn't take my anger and unhappiness out on my Clanmates, since they just didn't know any better. So, I endured.

There is no one I can talk to, no one to share this burden with. Am I destined to go crazy with all these feelings inside me? What kind of fate is that?

I silently curse StarClan for the ability they have given me.

Why can't I just be normal?

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. Please do leave a review if you have time. :D