Jason lay on his beach towel, drying off in the sun, water dripping off his hair into the sand. His whole body tingled with the invigorating exercise of swimming in the still rather cold water of Trickle Lake.
Connie lay beside him on her green beach towel, her damp hair ruffled, shadowing her upturned nose, her enticing lips. He longed to bury his fingers in her hair, kiss her. Feel her sun-kissed skin against his.
How could one love someone any more than this? But each day, she was more a part of his soul.
And every day, it astounded him that she returned his love. What do I have to offer? he wondered. Compared to her….I am a shadow. A shadow to her sun.
I need to be near her. I am so close—and yet, to be even closer—bound together for eternity—
Connie turned, looked at him, leaning on one elbow. "Are you okay, Jason?"
"I'm okay. Why?"
"It's just that…you seem a little quiet today. Like you're thinking about something."
"I know, it doesn't happen often."
"Oh Jason!"
He laughed. "I'm thinking about you, what else?"
"Oh, like what?" Her long lashes shadowed her cheeks.
"How beautiful you are."
A blush spread across her cheeks. "I can't look very good right now! I must be a mess." She buried a hand into her tousled brown hair.
"That makes it even better." He smiled. Caught her eyes. She laughed. Reached out, ran her hand down his cheek. His face burned with the path of her touch.
"You don't look so bad yourself, Jason. I'm glad I dragged you out to the beach."
"You didn't drag me—I—"
"You didn't really want to come, though. And now you're glad you did, right?"
"Well…yeah. We should've come sooner, except the beach wasn't open because it's been so cold."
"And we've been doing so many other things. And then there was…" She halted, pain etching her face.
"Your mom."
"Yeah." Tears tightened her voice. "Thanks for being there for me." She slid over to him, kissed him on the cheek.
"You were there for me too."
"I know. I know, Jason." Her eyes caught his, brimming with the pain they'd suffered. "But this is another step. I know it wasn't easy for you."
"Well, we're almost the only ones here, so it doesn't bother me too much." He glanced at the kids down the beach, tossing a ball in the air. "You're the one that matters, and you've seen me in a….much worse state."
"It's the first time I've seen you healed, though. It reminds me of…how much you went through. But your scars are kind of overshadowed by something else."
"What?"
"Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately?" Her eyes flitted across him appreciatively. Heat infused his face.
"I try not to look in a mirror."
"Well, let's just say all your workouts have paid off." She gave a little laugh, looked down.
"I have to keep in shape. I'm not about to show off after…this." His fingers brushed the knife scar on his left shoulder.
"Well, your scars make it look like no one should mess with you."
"If they were just battle wounds, I wouldn't mind as much. I'm not that vain. But as much as I've gotten over things, I'd rather keep it private. Every time someone sees them, it's like the wounds have been opened again. It's hard to explain. It's just…it's not a mark of pride to be tortured. It's vulnerability—when he did this, I couldn't move, couldn't fight back—" The phantom pain of panic rose in his chest. He fought it down. "I don't think I'll ever completely get over this."
"But Jason—your scars mean that you did get over it. You got out. They did heal, Jason. They remind you that you overcame so much."
"I know. He can't hurt me anymore—and I can't hurt myself by not forgiving him. And in some ways, the hardest things—the fear, not forgiving myself—you helped me with. But it'll always be there. The deepest scars are here." He pressed his hand over his heart.
"I'll always be there for you, Jason."
"And I'll always be there for you."
She kissed his cheek. Then, her lips fell to his. He leaned into the kiss, her hand entwined in his.