Puckett Poem
If I saw the world's last cookie,
I'd eat it.
Even if it were in the grasps of an infant,
I'd steal it.
If I had the last pig on Earth,
I'd cook it.
Even if it was a 'cute' little runt,
I'd turn it into jerky.
If I knew where to find the last chocolate bar,
I'd hide it.
Even if it melted in the sun,
I'd lick up what was left of it.
If Freddie were the last boy alive,
I'd hate him still.
Even if he gave me the last cookie, pig, and chocolate bar,
I'd keep torturing him.
If Carly knew all these things,
she'd love me still.
Even if everything proves that I've got an ice chest beside my heart,
she'd loan it a Snuggie until there's a full repair.